Disgrace and Honor
by Jamille Shane
Summary: My take on sane people living in an insane universe. Mirror Universe tale on how Amanda and Sarek might have come together. Not a short story.
1. Sarek of Vulcan

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, Amanda Grayson or Sarek, the Planet Vulcan, The Mirror Universe or anything else Star Trek related. I'd like to give a shout-out to Gene Roddenberry for hooking us all up with Star Trek and another shout-out to Mr. Jerome Bixby, writer of TOS Mirror, Mirror episode.

Note from J.S.: I've given this an "M" rating because it's the Mirror Universe. However I'm trying my best _not_ to be gratuitous about a single thing in the telling of this tale. I don't know where this will take us all but I've been wanting to write this storyline for sometime. Barring life and writer's block I should be able to update it several times a week.

I considered the point one day that since Spock existed in the Mirror Universe his parents had to have gotten together there. This is my take on how that happened. I'm striving to make a story where my readers are honestly worried about the characters in this story, not only Sarek and Amanda but their friends. Read and Review, please.

Sarek of Vulcan

The Vulcan embassy on the Terran home world was strangely quiet that morning. The hallways seemed longer and even more drafty than usual as he forced himself to walk unhurriedly to his office. There was no reason, he surmised, that this day should be any quieter than any day before. Yet it was. He felt a chill go down his back since he knew what that quiet meant.

Sarek of Vulcan was deeply troubled on more than one account. The Terran Empire that he served was uncaring of Vulcan concerns or the concerns of most anyone else they happened to rule. The barbarity of the widespread regime surprised him every day. But the barbarity of his own people could be just as shameful. Logic, after all, could be used to justify nearly anything, for good or for bad.

Too much had happened in the past few years for him to hold this post any longer. And even when he returned home, he would return to a planet that had been divided far longer than anyone could remember. Logic was the only thing holding them together and preventing another civil war. It was not logical, after all, to fight your brother when an oppressor with higher numbers and no barrier to reproduction held you in thrall. And that was just the beginning of it.

Not four years ago the Rihan Empire somehow delivered thousands of cylindrical shaped canisters into their atmosphere. The weapons system of their planet destroyed them all, but one managed to slip through the defense grid. As the last canister detonated, that part of their world looked on in dread. No one knew what it was.

At first, nothing happened. But a joint commission was formed between the V'Tosh Ka'tur High Command and the Syrannite High Command to try to determine what it was that had been spilled into their atmosphere. Almost on the heels of the joint commission beginning to ascertain what had been delivered to their skies, a plague began in their females.

The highly gifted commission was able to put their differences aside and solve the riddle of the virus within a relatively short time. But not before the deadly gift left by the opposing Empire had killed nearly a quarter of the female population of his world. Most of the women who were still sick after the discovery of what it was were able to benefit from the vaccine delivered by the joint commission, but the damage was already done. Within a year's time, every single Vulcan female had been recalled home and forced to either bond or prematurely put herself under the protection of her current bond mate's family and remain indoors whether she wished to or not. And when there were no more single females remaining, they began bonding off every available female aged 16 and over to males in deep need.

Heinous crimes became rampant on the V'Tosh Ka'tur side of the planet, crimes where unbounded (and sometimes already bonded!) females under the age of 16 were being kidnapped and forced to bond to men during their Time. Their bodies brutally used, some of the females entered a state of catatonia never to reawaken to their former selves.

The Syrannite faction could not stand by while this continued, even if it was not on their side of the dividing line. An almost faustian bargain was struck with the Terran Empire. A few hundred Terran females two times a year who had disgraced themselves or their families would be shipped to Vulcan, never to return to Terra Prime, or as some called it, Earth. These females were delivered to farms to be used for males entering their Time on Vulcan, so that the males could continue to live. Whatever happened to the females after that, most Vulcans, especially the V'Tosh Ka'tur, did not concern themselves. The Syrannites handled things a little differently on their side of the border (one human female was held for one Vulcan male at the facility they kept them and after having to help him through his time she did not have to be with any other male except for him), but in Sarek's mind the result might as well have been the same.

Entering his office, he sat down at his desk and faced what he knew was going to come up on his personal PADD that day. It had been placed there by his top aide, already loaded with the information to be dealt with. As he turned it on the list of female prisoners stared at him and he could not suppress the shame growing within him at all of the women he did not know but that were about to enter into a horrible state of being. The empty hallways had already told him this fact. The staff was doing their part in processing these women.

The almost all-Syrranite staff of the Embassy grew quieter on days like this. The treatment of themselves by the Terrans was immaterial in this situation. These women were not the Terran Empire and no one deserved to be thrown at a man in Pon Farr without warning, no matter how evil or barbaric she happened to be. And he refused to believe every woman on this list was evil or barbaric. He'd met too many good humans in his time that were just as disturbed as he was over the state of things in their Empire.

Then his eyes seized on a name on the list and he felt something inside nearly snap. Why was _she_ on this list? What could she have done? In a split second he knew what he had to do. He put his PADD down and turned to his intercom and called his assistant. "Do not yet allow transit of the females. Send the prisoner Amanda Grayson to my office, immediately."


	2. Amanda of Terra Prime

Amanda of Terra Prime

Amanda knew, in an abstract way, this might have been the possible outcome of her actions from that night. Well there was the abstract concept and then there was the real thing and she now found herself in a vat of 'the real thing' as she and her fellow female prisoners were being herded into a basement. But she was convinced in her heart of hearts she'd done the right thing that night. Still, as she sat there in prison blues she did feel a sense of shame because of _where_ she was at. How was it she was here in the basement of the Vulcan Embassy, now of all times? Why? What would possess them to send them _here of all places_?

Looking up and around at the architecture and funny quirks in the ceiling, she would know the basement of this Embassy anywhere. She'd worked in it for three years during her internship; an internship that had infuriated her father and hurt her mother beyond words. He'd wanted _his_ daughter to enter the Imperial Starfleet and bring more glory and riches to their already well-off house. She never understood why since her brother was already in the Fleet. He'd successfully pulled off two conspiracies to assassinate two of his commanding officers and as a result had moved up in rank to Lieutenant in less than three years. That was not the life for her because, besides the fact of her having to sleep with _so many men_ to get to the top, she knew she would have to constantly watch her back. Reading her brother's letters home had already convinced her, a life of having to worry about either herself or the top man she was sleeping with being strangled by some mutinous subordinates…and then if she belonged to someone high up enough, would she automatically become the property of whomever took his place? Or would she be kicked out by his new woman and have to start out at the bottom all over again? No, that was not the life for her. There were too many 'what ifs' for her to ever become accustomed to even the thought of it.

As for her mother, the woman just wanted her daughter to try harder to fit in. But Amanda had always wanted a job involving languages and teaching, occupations not becoming the daughter of a Four-Star General in the opinion of her parents. After tertiary school was over she was accepted into a top university to obtain a degree in Linguistic Education. One of the things she had to do upon graduation was teach for one year and then secure a three year internship and work well with the staff of wherever she chose to go. Since she was one of few Terrans interested in getting along well with other races in the galaxy, she had her pick of places she could have interned. There was just something about Vulcans and their language that made her choose their Embassy as her training ground.

She had no idea, until she began her internship, how much her Terran identity would grate against and be patently distasteful to other aliens around her. But Sarek had taken her under his wing almost from the very beginning and made her his secondary aide. He saw potential there because of her mind. And never once had he treated her like so many Terran males had, as something to be stared at lasciviously or offered something more just so long as she provided them with 'a good time'. She realized, at once, she was going to have to get by solely with her brain at this embassy. After a short time she also realized she liked things that way and wondered why it couldn't be this way everywhere on her world.

Memories of Amanda's childhood came at her then, things she'd suppressed for so long. She had always been a strange one, very sensitive. When she was very little, it was seen as a cute trait. But as she grew the tendency to question things that bothered her or seemed out of place began to get on her parents' nerves. The very last day she asked a string of questions to her mother about something that didn't seem right…

_She was nearly 12. And there were things she did not understand. "Mother, if we're supposed to be superior to everyone else in the galaxy-"_

_ "And we are," interjected her mother._

_ "-then if the Vulcans are smarter and stronger than __**us**__, doesn't that make them the ones that are superior?"_

_ Her mother turned beet red and her smug grin became a pronounced frown. "Don't you ever EVER ask a question like that again, do you hear me?"_

_ Taken aback by the look on her mother's face, she was hasty to clear up exactly what it was she'd done wrong. "But why?" she asked, still not understanding. "Why are we the ones that are superior?"_

_ "Because WE founded the Imperial Star Empire. WE are the ones who have subjugated everyone near and far. WE are the ones who had the drive and ambition to get it done when no one else did." She had reiterated what was said in almost every political speech involving their empire, nothing more. But she truly believed it in her heart._

_ Amanda stood there, thinking, bothered by something else. "But…if they're so intelligent, why didn't the Vulcans do it first?"_

_ "I don't know. Lack of drive?" she said, offhand. "If they were so much more intelligent, they would have done it first. That should tell you something."_

_ "Maybe it's because it was the wrong thing to do in the first place?" she suggested._

_ She did not see the hand coming at her, she was so deep in thought. She was first slapped across the face once, twice, three times. "Don't you EVER SAY A THING LIKE THAT AGAIN!" her mother was screaming. And then she picked up the first thing she saw, a flexible wooden stick, and beat the child until she was bruised in various spots on her body._

_ When she lay there, a sobbing mess unable to catch her breath, her mother stood over her, not at all sorry, but disgusted with her crying daughter. "You look like shite. Go clean yourself up. Your father will be home soon. And I won't tell him about the disgraceful things you've said about the Empire."_

She learned after that to not question the order of things. To pretend she was all right with everything going on around her. To pretend she felt it was normal to see a girl no more than 15 using her newly developed cleavage to coax a grown teacher into giving her a better grade. To pretend she did not feel like she'd been born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her life was a nightmare until she came to the Vulcan embassy. And there she found quiet and thought.

Even despite that she still needed a good amount of de-programming by the ambassador and his Syrranite staff. He'd once stated he would never have undertaken the project if she hadn't agreed to it. By the end of her tenure she realized that violence for the sake of violence was not at all logical or right. She began to avoid the gladiatorial games within a short time of starting to work there. She had to remove words from her vocabulary like 'inferior' and 'superior' when it came to living breathing beings. She was still pretty rough around the edges after her first year, but she was then able to circulate in Syrranite circles without embarrassing herself. And the few times she'd met V'Tosh Ka'Tur they found her 'amazingly poised for a Terran'.

One of the biggest things she'd picked up at the embassy was a taste for banned books. And that's what had landed her in jail on a one-way ticket off-world. The New York Public Library had found a set of rare books from pre-Empire days. Almost all of them were deemed unacceptable in content. It had been decided that on the next Solstice eve they would be burned. When she'd found that out she immediately realized the next solstice was only days away. She and a group of like-minded friends decided to try and liberate some of those banned books. But one thing she wasn't was a career criminal and of course she had been caught.

In actuality, her friends got away while Amanda allowed herself to be taken just so the books could be spirited to a secure location. Only one other of their crew had come forward from their heist once the books had been sent somewhere safe that even she did not know.

For her first infraction Amanda had not expected to have the book thrown at her the way it had been. She'd been sentenced to life off-planet and so had her friend, Maya, that had come forward and confessed to the crime. Her head was still reeling. She had disgraced her family and they'd quickly disowned her in the public eye. No one from her kin had shown up for her trial. And what use would that have been, anyway? She was never going to see them again if the penal system had anything to do with it. And if they never forgave her it didn't matter where she lived. They never wanted to see her again.

Amanda figured things couldn't get any worse than they already were. And then a Vulcan guard was coming her way. She recognized him. Oh no.

Zurel approached. Was that curiosity in his eyes? He wanted to know why she was here. But he only said, "The Ambassador wishes to speak with you in private, Amanda Grayson."

She only nodded without saying a word as she was unshackled from the prisoner to her right. Her face burned bright with shame as she followed Zurel up to the Ambassador's office. Things had just gotten even worse. How was she going to face Sarek? Why like this? Why now?


	3. The Conversation

The Conversation

Zurel took her directly upstairs and into the ambassador's office but didn't remain inside with them. He already knew Amanda and despite her being a prisoner he also knew she would never hurt Sarek. Whatever the ambassador wanted to say was most likely private and not meant for his ears, either, so he waited for Amanda to be seated and then nodded at them both and ducked out of the room.

Amanda couldn't even look at Sarek. It had been six months since her internship had ended. It was the last time they had seen one another. The less than ideal circumstances of their reunion made her ashamed to lift her eyes to look into his. She found she just couldn't do it. He'd worked with her so long, so hard, to cultivate what he'd termed 'the person within'… _He has to be disappointed. He just has to be. I would be!_

Sarek simply stared at the top of Amanda's dark hair and wondered how long it was going to take for her to meet his eyes. He could sense shame coming off of her in waves and realized if he did not induce her look up at him she never would. "Amanda," he said almost softly. "Please, look at me."

She closed her eyes, hard. It had been so long since she'd heard that beautifully even voice. She looked up at him and slight tears glistened in her eyes. She could still barely look at him, she was so _ashamed_, but she forced herself to do it. "All right," she said. But she held her tears inside. There was no place for tears in the Empire and she tried her best to remember that. Had it been anyone else she could have kept them inside, disguised the fact that she even felt like shedding them. But there was something about _him_ that always made her put her guard down.

"I need to understand what has happened," he said almost earnestly. His voice still held the same note of quiet power it always did, but there were things he wished to set in motion for her. He knew he couldn't help her, or even if he could help her, until he knew exactly what she'd done. "Why are you in this situation?" He saw her look away from him and sigh heavily and quickly added, "I have not called you here to condemn you, only to enquire. Speak with me, please. Tell me why this has happened."

She was looking away from him, afraid the tears would spill over this time. _Do NOT cry!_ She forced herself to get her emotions under control, got on top of the pain in her head and heart and then looked him in the eye again. "I couldn't let them burn those books," she said honestly.

Sarek had seen her file. It classified her crime in only two words: Thought Crime. That meant she said or did something that went against the Empire's mandate. It was only two steps away from the conviction of High Treason. Most of the young women shipped to Vulcan were guilty of Thought Crime. "Perhaps explain it to me from the beginning?"

She nodded. "There was the discovery of some old books, pre-Empire. Most were stamped inappropriate by the Loyalty Commission of the Emperor once they'd taken a look at them. They decided to burn them in a rally bonfire on Solstice Eve. One was the complete works of Epictetus!"

He understood her motivation. This man from their history espoused a philosophy that was quite close to Surak's way of reasoning since his particular school of thought was that of the Stoics. Some of his goals were not the same as Vulcan Stoicism, but the emphasis of Epictetus' philosophy was Logic and Ethics. "I must agree with you, the thought of burning such a book and allowing no other to benefit from it is highly…uncomfortable to consider."

Spurred on by his near approval, she said, "Some friends and me…we went and we saved them. And when the authorities came I knew the books would be taken from us and burned. So I stalled for time. I allowed myself to be taken so they could get the books away."

"And did they get away to safety?" he asked, actually concerned.

She nodded. "Yes."

"And your friends?"

She nodded. "Most of them, I don't know where they are now. One of them came forward within hours of my being caught. She didn't think it was right for me to get the full brunt of everything on my own."

"Is she with you amongst the prisoners?" he asked, alarmed.

She thought of her friend, Maya. The two had barely spoken since being taken into custody. Not for anger, but because Maya just wasn't the talking sort. She was a deep thinker. Just like Amanda, it had gotten her into trouble with her family all of her life. But unlike Amanda, Maya had been unable to 'fit in' in the world outside her family. She seemed to be fine with that, though. They always sat near one another whenever possible everywhere they'd been since being taken into custody. "Yes, she is."

"Could she have gotten away completely if she so wished?"

Amanda thought about this before and she'd already chastised Maya for it. "Yes, she could have. But she said it was wrong to not come forward since she'd also broken the law. She doesn't think the law is right, but she said she's still bound by it. She's a better person than I am." The two said nothing else for a few nervous seconds and then, "You must be so disappointed in me," stumbled out of Amanda's mouth.

He quickly stood and rounded his desk. He kneeled down in front of Amanda, trying his best to look up into her eyes since she was having such a hard time looking directly at him. "Amanda," he said, his face as impassive as usual, but his voice contained such depth. "I could never be disappointed in your actions if you carried them out for the correct reasons. Granted, you _did _break the law. And the way you went about saving the banned books was entirely illogical, but I understand why you did what you did."

"What other way was there to save them, Sarek?" she asked, alarmed. At least she was looking at him now.

"Why did you not come to me directly?" he asked quietly. "They would have been given over freely to the Syrannite Vulcans to study since we are seen as being 'incorruptible' to the Empire. We could have at least copied them before giving them back."

She'd never even thought of that! She frowned at the thought. "Oh." She looked down into her hands and the ridiculousness or where she'd landed herself and Maya floated down and landed onto her shoulders. "Oh, I'm so stupid!" she exclaimed.

He wanted her mind at ease. "It will all work out, Amanda, I promise you," he reassured her.

She looked at him. "How? I'm dishonored. I've been disowned by my family. And I'm being shipped off-world for the rest of my _life_. How is that going to work out?"

He stood and moved away from her, not wanting to sway her mind one way or the other. "I know where you are going," he said quietly. "You are being shipped to my home planet. And where you are going there is no place for you or for a woman like your friend. There is no time to go over it now, but I have a solution that will save you from the form of imprisonment you are about to enter."

"What's that?" she asked, eager to hear it.

"Since you must be put off-world for the rest of your natural life, you are no longer a citizen of Terra Prime. I took the liberty of looking up your law once I saw your sentence."

She frowned. He was so thorough. "Well thanks," she said sarcastically.

"You are quite welcomed," he said, pretending he hadn't heard the off-note in her voice. "Only two other females of your kind on my world have had this loophole afforded them and I am now offering it to you."

She sensed he was waffling on this issue, not coming out and saying it. "Well?"

"You would become a free woman after I arrived back home to collect you. You would be a member of my household. And once I put the notation into your record today, no one could touch you. But I must have your permission and cooperation first."

Amanda didn't know what he was getting at. "What would this loophole be?"

"Become my bondmate, Amanda. Marry me."


	4. For Better or Worse

For Better or Worse

Had it not been who it was standing across the room from her, Amanda would have been convinced this was a very bad joke. But no, it was Sarek and he didn't joke. At least not like this, he didn't. He meant what he was saying. She swallowed back a fresh wave of tears trying to escape. "Sarek, you can't mean it."

He was behind his desk again, sitting down. "And why can I not?"

"I'm disgraced! Dishonored! You can't marry a dishonored woman!"

He was relieved her reason wasn't that she simply didn't wish to bond with him. "Amanda, your conviction on my world would mean nothing. Especially since you would have the misfortune of being confined to my home for large tracks of time given the state of things since the biological attack by the Rihan Empire on my world, but my property is large enough that you would have space to wander at your leisure. As a result you would have to put up with no one seeing you in a negative light."

"That's not good enough, Sarek," she said. "I can't allow you to tie yourself to a woman like me. And for what? Because you don't want to see me become a prisoner?"

He looked across at her. She had no conception of what she would be doomed to without his protection. And if he were entirely honest with himself he had no desire to think of her being used callously by anyone. And then full honesty hit him. He had no desire to see Amanda with anyone else but himself. It was not logical, but it was true. No, she would not leave his office today without agreeing to marry him. "Is your answer 'no'?"

She swallowed. "I could never turn you down. I only wish you would reconsider for your own good."

"Then your answer is 'yes'?"

"What about your clan mother, T'Pau? What will she say?"

"I will deal with her wrath if need be. Who I bond with is for me to say, no one else. I am at an age now where I can pick my own mate. And to be honest, there are no females left on Vulcan for me to choose from. There is something you must understand. There is no time to go into it at this time, but Vulcan males must marry. We _must_. It is imperative to our survival not only as a race, but as individuals."

She didn't know what he was driving at but she jumped at the chance. "All right then. I'll do it."

"Since that has been settled, we must carry it out now, this very instant."

"Now? How?" she asked. He stood, came around his desk again and sat in the chair directly next to her. As he turned to face her, he was about to lift his hands to place his fingers on the proper psi points when she shrank back from him in horror. "No!"

"Amanda?" He'd never seen that look on her face. "What is the matter?"

She nodded, more than afraid. "The device they used on me to find out who I was working with, it hurt me- in my mind. I don't know how to explain it. But it hurt so much… I could feel it inside my head looking around and something inside hasn't been right ever since. I've had this constant underlying headache that won't leave."

He was reaching out now to take her hands into his. He'd never done so in the years they'd known one another. Terran females mixing with males of other races was quite taboo. (Not that it didn't happen!) He found it ironic that there were brothels planet-wide with alien females for the Terran males to sample, but they did not want _their_ females even being touched by an alien even by accident. They wished to maintain purity of blood and species. But she was his now. At least she almost was. "Amanda, let me meld with you. I can fix the damage that has been inflicted on your mind, and then we must bond. Any healer that sees your records can confirm your connection to me in an instant just by a light touch of their hand to your face. It will give you concrete protection," he reassured her.

She swallowed, afraid of what this would do to her. It caused her to grasp his hand back almost tightly. "It won't hurt?" she asked.

"It will not hurt you. _I_ will not hurt you," he promised. "Do you trust me?"

After what he had become to her over the years she could honestly say, "Yes. I trust you more than the members of my own family."

"Then it is only appropriate that you allow me to become your husband. Allow me to touch your mind, Amanda," he whispered as his fingers teased the underside of her hand.

She felt a shiver go down her back from the way his fingers were stroking the palm of her hand. But it wasn't fear this time. She liked his touch. "Yes," she found herself saying. "Do it now before I lose my nerve."


	5. Healing Hands

Healing Hands

Amanda sat there, afraid still, but ready to move on with what needed doing. She looked into Sarek's eyes and was at least warmed by them. The first time she'd seen him she'd found him so different, so alien…so attractive. She would never admit it to another Terran but the ambassador was the ideal of maleness to her from that day onward; tall, solid in body, firm in his convictions and in concrete control of himself and his actions.

He brought his fingers together, as if priming them for mental contact, and then first brought one hand and then the other to her face, gently. "My mind to your mind…my thoughts to your thoughts," he whispered. As the meld initiated itself, he could feel the fear leap from her and into him, but he quickly went along the mental pathway and soothed it until it melted to nothingness.

The initial part of the meld was a simple search and repair for him, nothing deep. He found several places in his search of the outer layers of her mind that had been badly damaged by The Mind Sifter. The only reason they had not gone any deeper was Amanda truly did not know where her accomplices or the banned books happened to be at that time. He glossed over those sections of her mind and set in motion a steady healing that would take a few days to finish. He salved them as best he could mentally and then-

_Within days, Amanda, you will be whole again. You will be put in deep sleep for your trip to Vulcan, both you and the other prisoners. Do not be alarmed when this takes place. It is policy. It is ironic that that form of deep sleep is the best way for your mind to continue healing. You will make a full recovery_ he assured her before he went deeper into the recesses of her mind.

And then the meld changed, took on a new form and shape. It was no longer clinical. Distinctly intimate, the closeness of their minds was undeniable.

A tentative drift of feelings from her about him that she didn't know how to hold back or hide came forth and were exposed to his scrutiny; trust, slight doubt, fear, admiration, curiosity, a strange sense of hero-worship and…what was that? The emotion of love? For him? It was unexpected and he stalled in place, examining the emotion from several angles that happened to be exclusively for him. How had she hidden it so well? Some part of him, a deeper, dark and possessive part was inordinately pleased that in some way the woman had already belonged to him before he'd asked her to become his.

She had no time to shield the thoughts or even feel embarrassed at them. She was too busy reveling in the mystery that was this, the mind meld. And to be here now with him, the one she'd wanted for so long but had given up on attainting. To have to go through the worst ordeal of her life just to get to this point with him…she now saw it as absolutely worth it. And then she saw the way he saw her.

Curious beyond reckoning, one who hid her true nature to survive the way things were, he saw her as confused by everything around her, trying to navigate a world she not only didn't understand, but didn't want to live in. And then she'd met him. From that day forward she only wanted to do what made him proud. Sarek was distinctly disturbed. The impression he was getting from Amanda was she'd seen him at first in an almost fatherly light, but love had grown for him romantically nonetheless. He didn't understand why. Though he was markedly older than her according to Terran standards, one could not tell from their outer appearances that he had several decades on her. He decided that today was not the day to explore what that might mean, this father-figure impression she held for him, and he moved on to the core of who she was.

Memories swam by both of them, mutual and individual. He saw the memory she'd suppressed for years but relived just that morning for the questions she'd asked her mother at 12 years of age. And the outcome of those questions. The pain she'd experienced at realizing that her father was not a good person. No. He was worse than simply not good. He was a despot. And she'd been silent witness to several of his heinous crimes that no one knew of till this day.

He also saw the dawn of love for him, Sarek, in her mind. The day he'd arrived for an awards ceremony and saw her receive accolades for her hard work in extraterrestrial languages. It was held in a tiny rinky-dink facility and the recipients of the awards were seen as unimportant to the Empire and its glory. There was no fanfare, but he had come to see her receive her awards nonetheless. But her parents had not come. He experienced her hurt from the inside that came from all of the times they had not supported her choice of career path and he realized all of the times he'd unknowingly filled that place inside her just for being there with her during important events.

She searched through his well ordered memories, as well. She experienced the rising sun on Vulcan's Forge when one treks through the desert on foot in order to make it to the monastery at the foothills of Mt. Seleya. She experienced, through his eyes, the first time he beheld her. She'd been aesthetically pleasing to him on many levels, but that was not the most important thing to him about her at that time. He'd been intrigued by her mind from the moment she greeted him in hesitant stilted Vulcan. Instantly he decided he could do no less than help this young woman at least with his language.

She saw his memories of the times she'd done little things for him she thought he had not noticed. Like the time she left him a potted plant on the Anniversary of his being at the Embassy five years. Or the time she ordered special flowers off world that were hypoallergenic to Vulcans for a special dinner conference they were having, a dinner conference she did not even attend. Or the day before she left his service six months ago, the card she'd left on his desk saying how much she would miss his influence in her life. She'd ducked out that day, not able to tell him good-bye directly. He'd never said it, but he knew he would miss her presence in his life, too. And he had, deeply. But now, no more! She would be with him, always.

_Always._

He pulled his hands away from her face and she gasped sharply from the sensation of his mind being removed from hers. And this time there were tears spilling down her face. He was surveying her with complete curiosity of mind…and in her mind she sensed his intense curiosity. She also sensed his deep concern for her. "You are unharmed?" he asked carefully as his eyes surveyed her features.

"You're still there, in my mind," she said in awe, seemingly having not heard his question. She could feel his presence, there, buried deep. Not intrusive, not overwhelming, but there like the feel of a new limb that one never knew they'd needed.

"And you are here, in mine," he said as his eyes continued to search hers. He took the corner of his robe and wiped the tears from her face. And something about doing that with his own clothing, though unsanitary in every way, felt correct to him. It had been so long since he'd been bonded. He had not realized until now how much he needed this sensation. But more than that, he had some sense that this was how things were supposed to be. He was _supposed_ to be bonded to _this_ woman. He knew the thought was not at all logical. He would examine the sentiment later. "You must go now," he said as he stood.

"All right," she said, a little hurt by the abruptness of his words. She knew he didn't mean to be, either. But it still hurt. So she stood and turned to leave.

"Amanda," he said as he followed closely behind. "I did not mean it sound like a command." He knew she'd had enough of that in her life from men like her father and didn't want to appear the same as them in her mind.

"I know, Sarek," she said, not facing him. She could feel him standing just behind her, the warmth from his body spreading through her senses, awakening them. She was breathing slightly funny. She had to get a hold of herself, now, before setting foot out into that corridor!

"Do not forget," he said as he still stood behind her, though not touching her. "We have much to learn about one another. And once I am done here at the embassy I will return to Vulcan and retrieve you, bring you to my home. It is only fair that I inform you, you are under no obligation to consummate our relationship until you feel you are truly ready for it."

She nodded. "Yes." She was more than touched by his consideration on that front. But she didn't want to leave him behind! She decided she would keep the words to herself.

It was too late. He'd already heard the echo of the anguished words that crossed her mind. "I admit I also do not at all wish to let you go anyplace without me. But I must do my duty and tie up loose ends here and then I may permanently resign. Only then can I assure your safety for the rest of the time you remain on my world…now ours."

She nodded again. "Yes."

He finally reached out and allowed his hands rub up and down her arms, liking the contact. "You can speak with me at anytime through the bond, Amanda, never forget that."

She smiled. "I can?"

"You can."

She turned and looked up at him and before she could stop herself she kissed him full on the lips and then turned to run out of his office, just a little embarrassed at the nervy thing she'd just done.

"Amanda!" he said to her just at the doorway.

"Yes?" she said as she looked at him one last time.

"I will flag the record of your friend, Maya, so that she, too, will remain untouched. I am allowed to have five domestic Terran staff in my complex at home and there is one I will pick up here on your world before I arrive home. Along with Maya you may save three others, if you see fit to do so. Is that understood?"

"I think so," she said with a shrug.

"Be careful with whom you pick to enter our home."

She fully understood then. "I see. I will be very careful."

He watched her leave his presence but wished it didn't have to be so. It was not logical to wish for that which you could not have immediately. But still, he had no desire to see her leave.


	6. Sokam

Sokam

It had been five years before when Sokam put in motion a life changing course. He was not the first to do this. In actuality what he had done was quite the _opposite_ of what ordinarily occurred on Vulcan.

Usually in these cases a Vulcan would come of age and that very day he or she would jump 'The Wall' and defect from his strict Syrranite family and join their sister clan on the V'tosh Ka'tur side. But Sokam had done the polar opposite.

He was a very confused youth who was at least convinced that striving for logic was the sole thing that mattered at the time. His V'tosh Ka'tur family felt that emotions were fine so long as they were not allowed to interfere and overflow into ones life to a deep extent. What mattered was the showing of positive emotion and the stringent control of negative ones. According to his personal study of Surak, this was not logical nor the correct way of being. No, it seemed to him from early on, the Syrranites might be right about things after all. Emotions were meant to be suppressed.

Even when he came of age, he had not defected, but waited a while, because Sokam had a deep-seated problem of his own. He was given to slight bouts of obsession and deep jealousy. He was almost always able to control those negative traits, removing himself far from a female when he started to feel the beginning urges to become that monster. But in some cases he was capable of exploding into blind rage when provoked, and _that_ he had been less able to control. On the side of the world he'd grown up they had not known exactly how to help him with his flaws. Only his intense study of Surak kept him on the finer side of 'sane'. They thought it was something that was not urgent, that perhaps with time he would learn to temper his rage. Most Vulcans on their side of the planet usually did.

When he reached his majority, his family finally found a lady whose family was willing to allow her to bond with him. Once the bonding was done, suddenly his mind was much clearer than it had ever previously been. He truly had clarity of thought he always assumed was unattainable, at least for him. He was able to control the emotional problems he'd had all his life and realized that was the secret to Syrranite control of emotions. It was a simple matter of bonding his mind to that of a stranger he barely ever saw.

Knowing that someday he would be forced to return for her during his Time, he left behind his family and arranged bond mate who was still living at home with her own family, and jumped the dividing line. He joined the Syrranites. The proper clan for him on the Syrranite side brought him to the door of Sarek all of those years before. His older clansman happened to have been on an extended leave from his duties on Terra Prime. T'Pau sent the young man to him knowing Sarek was the only one with the patience to properly prime and train him in the correct way before sending him to the monastery for deeper learning and stricter controls.

Weeks passed and Sokam learned to control himself to the best of his abilities under the tutelage and mental adjustments provided by Sarek. By the time his family member and mentor returned to Terra Prime, Sokam was on his way by foot across The Forge to the monastery. And there he learned well in seclusion. He was at the pinnacle of his mental control when the death-dealing canister exploded in their atmosphere. And within weeks it brought his mental world down into darkness.

He remained at the monastery and tried to hide his distress, but they knew something had gone wrong in his mind. When they'd finally all wrestled him down to check him mentally, they saw what had happened. His bond was snapped, his betrothed dead. The tether holding their minds together had been the thing giving him mental stability and with that gone, Sokam was a young man once again with no anchor.

The monks worked with him and then finally sent him deeper into the desert to a Master well over two hundred years of age. The Master spent arduous hours with the young man and when he finally had a semblance of control back, he was able to excel in his study of Surak. He returned to the monastery, but he always knew that someday he would be forced to bond or die. But there were no females left. Where would he obtain a mate? He did not know.

So long as he remained at the monastery and spent all of his time in seclusion, he was fine. Anytime he tried to leave and live a normal life, he found himself nearly provoked to inexplicable actions that he only just prevented himself from inflicting on others. He didn't understand himself, but he knew he was almost to the point of violent instability and needed help. He refused to return to the monastery again. He would not allow himself to rely on it as if it were a crutch! Why was he not strong enough to conquer this on his own, he wondered.

His clansman, Sarek, had sent him a message the day before letting him know he was returning to Vulcan very soon and for good. He was relieved. He cousin was one of few who understood Sokam's mind and how it worked. Perhaps he could help him again. Because though he tried his best not to entertain his emotions, Sokam was entering the realm of 'desperate'. He was also beginning to wonder, what was the use of living if you could not control yourself? Sarek was his last hope. And if even _he _could not help him, he had no reason to live.


	7. Status

Status

Amanda awoke from deep sleep and felt the telltale feeling in her mouth of having been drugged. As she sat up carefully she could hear an almost boring voice droning on in the background, "Please sit up slowly. Do not attempt to stand. You have been in deep sleep. Remove the electrolyte balancing fluid from the pouch to your right and drink until your body has reestablished balance." And it repeated that message over and over. In her grogginess, she began to realize it was a mechanical recording. She also realized she hadn't yet reached over to drink the electrolyte fluid.

Looking around, her blurred vision slowly but surely began to recede. She turned and saw the jetlagged face of Maya to her right. Her friend looked quite miserable just like every other prisoner awakening on the beds around them. But even miserable and jetlagged Maya was beautiful. The brown girl had a clear almost luminous complexion that defied reason. Her features were pleasant enough. She wasn't the ideal of Terran beauty, she was simply quite pretty. But she exuded inner beauty. She wore her very wavy hair in an eternal braid down her back and even in distress she possessed an aura of deep calm.

Both ladies simultaneously took the electrolyte fluid from the proscribed pouch and began to drink. "Aggh!" exclaimed Amanda. "This is terrible!" She realized her voice was coming out a scratchy whisper. Her vocal chords hadn't fully come back yet.

"Tastes the way gym socks smell," Maya said, her voice also strained.

Amanda laughed. But it was true, the stuff did have a gym-sock flavor to it. That made her want to drink it even less. "Eww!"

Maya forced herself to drink it down quickly. She sensed she needed her strength and soon. "Amanda, do it now," she whispered almost urgently. "We're going to be required to move about soon."

She'd learned a long time ago to obey Maya's instincts. The girl possessed a secret that she'd never told, at least she'd never told it to _her_. Only lately did she suspect what her secret might be. She kept her mind off of her friend's business and forced the electrolyte liquid down her throat. She drank too quickly and found herself hacking and coughing, some of it careening down the wrong way and getting stuck in her chest. But she'd done it. It was down.

The doors to the large room they'd been placed in opened and in walked two Vulcans and a Terran. The Vulcans were male, the Terran was female. The males wore the same official uniform of the guards that had transported them there. But the female wore some black form fitting thing that looked official. "I am Kathleen and my title is 'Director'. I am here to inform you of your status on this planet. These two," she said as she turned to the Vulcans behind her, "they are your guards. This room, for some of you, will become your sleeping dormitory for the next few weeks. For the rest, you will be transferred across to the other side of the planet."

It took Amanda only a split second to realize she had most certainly _not_ fallen asleep in this bed on her trip here and that the room was in fact changed. They must have beamed them in directly from the prison ship. Damn, they were efficient!

"I want all of the prisoners to line up to my right as we process each of you, one by one," said Director Kathleen.

Maya stood before everyone else, on her feet in seconds. She swayed slightly, but held onto her bunk for a minute and then began to gingerly make her way to the wall they'd indicated. Three other prisoners made it to the wall before her, and one of them even gave her a 'we beat you' look. _What was that about? _Amanda wondered. Other prisoners followed suit and soon a complete line was formed. For some reason Maya grabbed Amanda's hand and put her in front of her in the line.

It never ceased to amaze her how someone as delicate seeming as Maya found it in herself to be protective of everyone around her. If anything, Maya was not delicate. Her almost-petite form was quite sturdy. It was her bearing that made her give off a delicate aura of gentleness. She came from one of the worst neighborhoods on the Terran home world yet she gave off the aura of a lady. How that had happened Amanda still did not know. The only reason she knew where she came from was it came up in conversation between them once. But Maya's vocabulary and bearing was that of a woman from a high house. The girl was a mystery in every way.

The three in line in front of them, each of them the Director saw she nearly frowned as she looked at the hand-held unit with their records and informed, "You've been assigned to the V'Tosh side. Sorry. Your life is about to become a living hell." She did not at all seem sorry in any way, though. It had become par for the course to give bad news in her line of work.

Since the three young ladies had no idea what the woman was talking about they shrugged and went back to the bunks they'd woken up in.

Amanda was next. The director looked down, bored, as she scanned the young woman's ID bracelet attached to her wrist. Instead of what she'd just told the three young ladies, she seemed shocked speechless. "What?" she finally whispered, her face giving off true displeasure. She scanned Amanda's bracelet again and frowned even deeper. Then she looked up at her. "Did you have friends hack the system?" she demanded.

Amanda had no idea what the woman was talking about. "Something's wrong?"

"Don't speak to me, prisoner!" she shot back. She looked back down at her PADD. "This has to be wrong," she said as she turned to the Vulcans behind her. "Do you have some way of confirming, or as I expect denying, this information?" asked the director.

The two guards looked at the screen being shown them, then they looked at one another, then they both looked down at Amanda. One of them, the taller one, said to Amanda in Vulcan Standard, "_You speak our language?"_

Amanda nodded and answered back in Vulcan, _"Yes, I do."_

The same guard asked, _"You are betrothed to one of ours, Terran?"_

She remembered Sarek then and just thinking of him caused their bond to flare to life. An unexpected flush rose on her face as she said with a whisper, _"Yes, I am."_

The guard looked at the director and said in Terran Standard, "If you doubt the veracity of the information in her record, you must call a Healer. They will confirm or deny the existence of her status."

The director seemed put out that she couldn't deliver yet another piece of bad news so soon. Her lips thinned out in a determined firm line. "Call for the Healer," she said. And the taller guard turned and went around a back corner to an intercom and put in the call.

The rest of the ladies waited the almost ten minutes for the Healer to arrive. Since no one knew what was going on or why, the young ladies began a low murmur amongst themselves. "No talking!" barked Director Kathleen. And everyone snapped their mouths shut.

It was an uncomfortable few minutes for Amanda. She knew what it was now the lady couldn't believe she saw on the screen in front of her. Amanda was engaged to the Vulcan ambassador. That was a pretty high ranking official, especially for a prisoner, to be engaged to. The woman was convinced that someone had gone into the records and hacked that information in. She thought about that herself. Yes, that would seem like a joke if it were her on the other side of a line of prisoners while reading the information off a PADD display. She would also think someone had hacked the system for a friend to make such an erroneous claim.

The Healer arrived and it was a little old lady that seemed almost ancient. "I have been summoned?" asked the Vulcan Healer.

"Yes," said the director. The director looked a little intimidated by the Healer. She handed over the record in front of her and asked, "Can you somehow confirm or deny what's in this record?"

The old Vulcan took the PADD from the director's hand, read it and then looked up at the two guards. "Have you questioned her?"

"Yes," answered the taller one.

"And?"

"There was no deceit in her answer."

The Healer looked over at Amanda. "Come this way, young woman," she addressed her.

Amanda looked at the director and the director nodded her over to the Healer. She walked over to the older Vulcan and followed her around a corner. "Next," she heard the director say.

She didn't have time to see what the director was doing, but as she made it around the corner with the Healer, she heard the director exclaim, "Oh so now this one's supposed to be some kind of domestic or something to the little fake around the corner?" she said laughing cynically. "Stand on the side. When the Healer comes back you and that fake are going to the V'Tosh side _tomorrow_! Someone's going to hang for this prank. Next!"

The Healer looked at Amanda and said, "_Kneel, young lady,"_ in Vulcan Standard.

Amanda obeyed at once and confirmed to the Healer that she in fact did speak the language. Perhaps what was in the record was fact after all. The older woman put her fingers to the correct points on Amanda's head and within a split second confirmed the story. There was the living, pulsing lifeline of a bond to a Vulcan male. She removed her hand and looked down into the face of the young woman. "_It is confirmed. Rise, T'Sai Amanda."_ (Lady Amanda.)

The Healer walked beside Amanda as she came back around the corner to see the sneering face of the director. "The other young lady is to be a domestic of some sort to this lady?" asked the older woman.

"Lady?" asked the director, confused. "To what 'lady' are you referring?"

"She is betrothed to the ambassador. Her records are correct. She is now the lady of a high house on our world. And that young lady is to be her domestic?"

The director was honestly stumped. "She-" The director beckoned Maya over and rescanned her bracelet. "It says here she's to be in the house with this young woman. I assumed she would be a domestic of some kind."

The Healer looked at Amanda. And in no time she received the correct words from Sarek himself whom Maya would be to him personally. Amanda changed her friend's status forever when she said, "No. Not my domestic. She's to be the Ward of Ambassador Sarek. He will see to her future here."

Maya looked confused. She had no idea what Amanda had up her sleeve or how she'd pulled any of this off. The two hadn't had a chance to talk since they'd been beamed up to the Terran Space Station and put into deep sleep.

The Healer nodded and looked at the director. "Make it so," she ordered.

The director did just that as she put down the extra notes in the records. "Fine. They go to the Syrranite side after the next two shipments of prisoners." Then she looked at both girls. "Congratulations. You two just won the equivalent of the lottery here. Your lives won't be living hells and you're instant citizens. Although why you'd want to join a non-Terran house is beyond me. Next!"


	8. Maya's Secret

Maya's Secret

Sitting off to the side on their bunks, the two ladies were still very much prisoners until their patron came to spring them. But in the meantime, the rest of the female prisoners were told their destinations by the director. Either they were being sent to the V'Tosh side or they were to remain on the Syrranite side of the planet. They only reason Amanda figured they were on the Syrranite side was because those assigned to that side were told they were 'to remain on the Syrranite side'. Still, no one knew what that meant except for Amanda. And she didn't know what difference it made which side you were sent to, anyway. Afterward, everyone was given a pre-packaged meal that looked like military rations in a pouch.

As the two ladies sat eating their rations the annoying director finally left and the doors to the room closed. Everyone started eagerly talking then. "You worked at their embassy for years. What does that mean, the V'Tosh side and the Syrranite side?" asked Maya.

"The V'Tosh side means the V'Tosh Ka'tur side of the planet. And the Syrannite side means…well just that, the Syrranite side," said Amanda. "Which I have reason to believe is the side we're already on."

"What's the difference?" her friend asked curiously as she upended the pouch of food to her mouth and chewed.

Amanda leaned in close so no one else would eavesdrop. "The V'Tosh Ka'tur, they call them 'Vulcans without logic'…from what I've seen that's Vulcans with emotions but they just control them really well, especially the negative ones. But the Syrranites don't show any emotions at all. According to what Sarek told me, the V'Tosh Ka'tur practice Relative Logic. But the Syrannites practice Absolute or True Logic. It seems to be spreading, slowly, but Sarek predicts that the Syrannite movement might envelope Vulcan in the next few decades."

"What do you think of that?" asked Maya.

"I've met both kinds. I've seen far more Syrranites at the embassy than anything else so I don't think I've had enough of a sample of the V'Tosh Vulcans."

"What was your impression of them?"

"The Syrranites…well, I guess most Terrans are offended at what they see as their 'arrogance'. I don't see it that way, though."

"So all the Vulcans I've ever met the few times I've run into them on Terra Prime, they were all Syrranites?"

"Pretty much, probably."

"And we're to stay here on this side of the planet, the Syrranite side?"

Amanda nodded, "Yes."

"So I take it Sarek's a Syrranite, too?"

"Bingo!" smiled Amanda.

"And the few times you've met V'Tosh Ka'tur, what did you think of them?"

Amanda paused for a second to really think about it. "Well let's just say there's something that unnerves me about a smiling Vulcan. I mean something about that just isn't right."

Maya began to laugh lightly at the very thought of it. She was done with her ration pouch and was in the process of standing up to throw it away just as one of the first three girls in line in front of her earlier sentenced to the V'Tosh side walked by and deliberately ran into the back of her. It was so obvious everyone stopped talking and stared to see what would happen between the two next.

Before Amanda could open her mouth to say a word, Maya turned and looked the girl in the eye. And the two just stood there, eyes locked for about four seconds. Then the other girl's mouth opened and closed and she swallowed. "Sorry," she said and quickly walked away.

Maya looked at Amanda and smiled. "Want me to take that for you?" she asked with her hand out, referring to Amanda's empty ration pouch.

"Sure," she answered.

Maya left and threw the two empty pouches into the trash receptacle unit and then returned. She sat on her bunk and opened the pouch containing clean water. After she drank enough, she looked over at Amanda. "So when were you going to tell me about being engaged to Mr. Ambassador?"

She saw her friend hadn't said it condemningly like the way any other Terran might have said it. She was smiling ear to ear. So Amanda threw out her own oar. "If I tell you about being engaged to the ambassador, will you tell me _your_ secret?"

Maya frowned. "What secret?"

Amanda leaned forward and whispered, "We've known each other long enough Maya. Something's going on with you. I don't know what it is, but you've got these…instincts or something. And that thing that just happened with that girl that ran into you, what was that?"

Maya sighed. "All right. I'll tell you after you tell me about _him_."

Amanda nodded. "To tell you the truth, I haven't had a chance to even digest the fact that I'm engaged to the Ambassador."

"Well when did it happen?"

"When I went up to his office right before we got shipped here."

"It happened then?" asked Maya, incredulous. "You got proposed to in Prison Blues?"

Amanda hadn't quite thought about it that way and found herself laughing out loud. "I guess you're right, it wouldn't look romantic to anyone else."

Maya shrugged. "Well really it's important what _you_ think. And you obviously think highly of him. Good for you. Most ladies don't get to be so fortunate about their feelings for their protector."

"He's a good person," whispered Amanda. "And that can't be said for a lot of people I know."

"Are you guys going to get officially married when he gets here?"

Amanda started to laugh. "Um, yeah."

Maya also began to laugh, "Why am I laughing? I'm laughing because you're laughing. Why are _you_ laughing? What is so funny?"

"Because we're already bonded and…well…all we need to do is…well what we weren't able to do in his office and then our union will be _official_."

"You mean-!" And Maya sat there with a huge grin followed by a spontaneous short burst of laugher. "I had no idea."

"Yes, that's what it means."

"So how did I wind up his ward?" asked Maya with a lingering grin still not forgetting about the soon-to-be horizontal facts of her friend's relationship.

Amanda laughed. "I think Sarek just made that up right before it came out of my mouth."

"But how would you-" And she nodded, suddenly understanding. "Ohhh." Her eyes went wide. "So it's true, Vulcans are linked mentally to their mates?" she whispered as she hopped down from her bunk and sat on Amanda's. She scooted in close to her and put her legs up and crossed them, getting comfortable.

No one else seemed to notice their conversation. The women surrounding them were deep in their own talk-fests in groups of twos and threes. "Yes," whispered Amanda. "He did the bond right before I left to come here."

"What was-" she paused, wondered if she was asking too much but decided to plunge ahead. "What was it like?" she asked, her brown eyes full of wonder. She honestly seemed to want to know. "If it's too much information just tell me to mind my own business. I'll understand."

"I…I don't know how to describe it with words. It was like," she paused but had a hard time. "It was like swimming—no, being surrounded by an eternally warm ocean but knowing you won't drown."

"That's romantic." Maya swallowed. "And what _peace_," she whispered.

Amanda nodded. "That's exactly what it felt like. It was a peaceful upheaval. I didn't want it to end."

"Well did you know ahead of time? Were the two of you in some kind of a secret relationship or-"

"No, Maya. Don't get the wrong impression. I don't think the Ambassador did this out of some romantic notion. I never thought in a million years he would ask _me_ anything like that. But there's some dread in his mind concerning my being here. And he feels he has to save me from it. I don't know what it is. And when he heard about how you came back to give yourself in so I wouldn't take the full blame on my own he decided he couldn't leave you to that fate, either. I guess that's how you came to be his ward. He wants to save us from…something."

Maya looked away from Amanda. "You felt different when you came back from seeing him. I didn't have time to figure out what it was then."

Amanda frowned. "What do you mean by 'felt different'."

Maya looked at Amanda and admitted, "That's _my_ secret. I'm different, but I don't know how or why. I've never told anyone about this but- people have a feeling to them. Everyone is different, unique. And when you came back from the ambassador's office before we went up to the space station to get shipped here, you felt slightly different. As if the echo of someone else was with you but not with you. Usually people's emotions…they kind of reach out and grab at me. It hurts sometimes. But this other person attached to you, it didn't hurt."

"How long have you been going through this?" asked Amanda, horror on her face.

"Most of my life," she said with a shrug. "Don't feel bad for me, Amanda. Being this way has kept me out of a lot of trouble. I was able to avoid almost every ass-whipping that came my way in my old neighborhood since I could sense them coming for me."

Amanda laughed and then remembered, "Well what did you do to that girl that bumped into you? What was that about?" she asked.

"Sometimes, if I concentrate hard enough, I can turn the person's emotions back on them. She was trying to scare me so I just took that feeling and pushed it back in her direction. She scared herself," Maya laughed but she didn't really find it funny to use her ability that way.

"Did your mother know?"

"She always knew something was different about me, but she made sure no one else knew. I guess she just didn't want the military to come and take me away. At least that's the impression I got when I was little from the way she would tense up anytime she saw people in uniform. You know what they do to Terrans with any kind of telepathic ability."

Amanda knew for sure what was done to Terrans with telepathic abilities since they were highly mistrusted by the Empire as 'unnatural'. It was one of the crimes she'd stumbled upon her father committing at a young age. She suddenly felt very ill and the ration was turning in her stomach. "If my father ever got his hands on you," she whispered, feeling even sicker.

"I'm here now," said Maya reassuringly, her eyes happy. "I'm in the best place I could ever be. I live somewhere now where people shield their minds and emotions. Thank you so much for including me on that book heist. Otherwise I would never have gotten arrested and sentenced to come here."

Amanda had to laugh. It seemed both of them had gotten the long end of the stick. She got her Ambassador and Maya would soon have mental peace.

_Readers, you'll notice the chapters will get progressively longer as we go on and more of the story unfolds. Thanks to everyone who has come along for the ride so far. I'm enjoying exploring these characters and developing them. I don't know exactly how long this story is going to turn out to be, but we've got quite a ways to go before everything that's popped up so far (and things that are about to come up) gets resolved to my satisfaction. Hope you all enjoy the resolutions as they happen. And review if you're curious about anything or need more of an explanation of something. I'll try my best to work it in there so everything is as clear as it can be._

_J.S.  
_


	9. Interim

Interim/Within The Bond

The next day over half of the ladies in the make-shift prison shelter were rounded up and taken away. Amanda knew they were going to the V'Tosh Ka'tur side and wondered why their lives were about to become 'a living hell'. Thinking hard about the predicament, she still didn't understand why they'd all been sent to Vulcan of all places. Of course if you looked at it from a practical point of view it made sense for the Terran Empire to drop their prisoners guilty of Thought Crime in a place they were least likely to influence anyone else. But why would the Vulcans take them? There was no logical reason to take these prisoners in exchange for nothing. And why split them up between the factions as if they were some sort of commodity? Something about that supposition bothered her but she was missing too many pieces of the puzzle.

They were allowed time outside for the first time right after their morning meal. They were in some kind of mountain complex facing the deep desert. The outdoor floor was made of mortared together stone and a large stone wall kept them inside, but it was only chest high. Looking down over the precipice, there was a drop of at least thirty stories. "Great deterrent to make you not even try to run," said Maya as she stared out over the almost red slightly alien landscape. "I have to admit, the desert is more beautiful than I'd ever considered it could be."

The guards were ever present, and there were more than the two from the day before making it a total of five. "Five guards for nine women?" asked Amanda. "That's what I call _overkill_."

Maya found herself feeling a little frustrated. "I didn't even think of how many guards there were before you just mentioned it. I admit it's great to experience the mental peace from not having the feelings of so many people pressing in on me, but I sure wish I could read the intentions of the guards now."

"And we're accused of Thought Crime," continued Amanda. "That's the most nonviolent type of prisoner in the Empire. You put that many guards on—on-" she was grasping at words, "—on _merchandise_, valuable merchandise, not non-violent prisoners."

"Now had my_ sister_ have been in here," laughed Maya, "I could totally see all nine of them for the BAMF _she_ is, but for us? And one thing my sister wouldn't be in here for is any form of Thought Crime."

Amanda knew that was certainly true. Maya's sister was a riot and she loved her but that girl was going down for some kind of violent crime someday.

Two of the guards passed by on patrol, one of them eyeing both of them. It was so uncharacteristic… The other guard that was not eyeing them, he was the exceptionally tall one from the day before that had called the Healer to examine Amanda. "S_he is taken,"_ he hissed at the other guard in Vulcan Standard.

_"By you?" _enquired the guard.

_"No. That is the Ambassador's lady. He is Syrranite to the core but do not provoke him. He is like any one of us when something of his is threatened."_

_"I must have a mate soon! My Time approaches-"_

_ "It will not be your Time that kills you if you go anywhere near either one of them. And do not speak of it now among the prisoners!_" cautioned the taller guard. And then they were out of earshot.

"I just heard something important and I have no idea what it means."

Maya frowned. "Is there any danger for _us_?"

"No, I don't think so. But from what? And why?" she asked, the questions beginning to drive her crazy. None of this made any sense! What 'Time' of his was approaching?

Maya saw that this was quickly going to become one of those things in Amanda's mind that would go around and around and probably drive her crazy. She decided to distract her. "I need your help with something."

"What is it?" she asked, sidetracked for a second.

"So I'm here now. I know next to nothing about this planet, the people, the customs, the language. We've got a little time, right? You're a teacher. Teach me what I need to know to survive here without looking like the ignorant ghetto chick I am."

"Maya, don't say something like that about yourself! You're one of the most poised ladies-"

"One thing I'm _not_ is a lady. I wasn't born into a high house and I don't have any connections. And I _have_ been guilty of physical altercations when my person's been threatened," she laughed. "And I can most certainly be very ghetto, I just happen to suppress it."

"A high house does not automatically make a lady, Maya. But I can tutor you in the meantime on what I know."

"That'll work."

####

The next shipment of ladies came in two weeks later. There were twice as many prisoners as before. The moment the new ladies were beamed in and began to awaken, the nine young ladies from before were off to the side, just watching them. And then Amanda recognized two of them. "Is that-?" she whispered as she pointed, not able to get their names out. "How did they get caught?"

The two they saw were also involved in the same book heist that had landed them in jail. A set of cousins, both were blonde and slightly over average height for women. Dana was a no-nonsense kind of girl with a decent heart. She spoke the truth of what she thought but was always ready with a joke and a quick smile. She was a little tomboyish in her ways and kept her hair cut to her neck. She had a nice face and the only true vanity she held was regular dentist's appointments. She was from a mid-level house that was in constant danger of slipping into financial ruin.

And then there was her cousin, Cassie. The woman from an upper middle-level house was intelligent on many levels and was capable of being very nice if she needed to be. She was strong in her opinions but the huge difference between her and her cousin was she had a tendency to be very catty. If anyone got into a debate with her, her words were often directed at a target to elicit a violent reaction. Once she reached her objective and the person erupted at her, she would turn around and give a 'look what they _did/said_ to me!' face to onlookers who had no idea what she'd said in the first place. And since she was from a high house, she'd had many people jailed because of this preferred tactic. Having people jailed was a game to her.

Maya whispered, "I actually cannot stand that chick. The last time I saw her I was this close to knocking her out," she said as she held her thumb and forefinger close together, almost touching.

Amanda felt torn. She wanted to save Dana from whatever was wrong, but if she saved one she had to save the other. No matter how much of a bitch Cassie happened to be she had the feeling even she didn't deserve whatever Sarek was worried about. "I'm sorry, Maya," Amanda found herself saying.

Maya sucked her teeth and then waved it off. "Don't apologize. You're doing the right thing."

"I'll talk it over with Sarek tonight," said Amanda.

"You can't save Dana and leave Cassie to who knows what. But man, she has three strikes, I'm not kidding you, Amanda. This time I _will_ slap her. I'm already in jail, it's not like I can go twice."

The new ladies were beginning to stir then, sit up and drink the electrolyte fluid. "What the hell is this, gym-sock flavored?" they heard Dana croak angrily. The two of them quietly laughed until it hurt.

The girls from before kept themselves sitting all the way over to the side while the unpleasant Terran director came in with her skin tight black outfit.

"Is it just me or is that thing she's wearing tighter this time?" whispered Amanda.

As the director had the new round of prisoners line up, Amanda approached one of the two guards standing with her and the not-new girls. _"Excuse me, those two females there, they are wanted for the House of Sarek as domestics,"_ she said in Vulcan Standard.

When she found out, the director really seemed to have an attitude about it, but it was already done. As Dana walked away from the director Amanda and Maya were waiting and very wrapped up in watching Dana. When the confused blonde walked up and almost passed them by, they both held silly grins on their faces and kept staring at her. She did a double-take and then jumped up and down. "Great Aphrodite's Titties, it's you guys!" and then tackled them both with a ridiculous hug. "I'm so relieved to know you two are okay!" she exclaimed.

"—out of my sight!" they heard the director saying. "Next!"

And then Cassie was walking up to them looking pissed. "Hey, guys!" she said eagerly, dropping out of her obvious funk.

"How are you?" asked Amanda.

"I'm okay I guess. I just got told whoever wants me as a domestic or something. Whatever."

"That's mighty ungrateful," Dana said. "It means you're getting out of here soon."

"I don't even know who that guy is," said Cassie as she waved her cousin off in an offhand way.

"He's _my_ husband," broke in Amanda. The group grew quiet.

"Wait a minute," Dana finally said after a moment. "Isn't that the same name as the Vulcan Ambassador to Terra Prime that you worked with? Sarek? That's some coincidence!"

Amanda said, "Nope, no coincidence."

There was another spate of silence as both of the girls digested the information. "Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather work a job and be free even if it isn't at home, but how did you manage this?" asked Dana.

"He's got a lot of rank here and I figured you two would want to bust out of here anyway you could."

"Well girl, I am grate-FUL," declared Dana. Then she looked at Cassie. "Well?" she said. "Aren't you going to say thank you or something?"

Cassie looked like she could care less. "Well, whatever, so long as I don't have to clean anything for real."

"What the hell do you think a domestic does?" asked Dana.

Cassie laughed. "Whatever. I'm not cleaning anything." Then she looked at Maya with venom in her eyes. "I'll leave that to the girl that's been doing that all her life."

Maya pointedly looked over at Amanda and hissed, "That's strike one."

Amanda smiled wickedly. "Actually, the ambassador has decided that Maya isn't going to be a domestic so you can do her share of the work."

Cassie's face turned flaming red and she flounced away angrily. "I seriously doubt you ladies are going to have to cook and clean for anyone else but yourselves," confided Amanda. "I just wanted to shake that girl up for a minute."

Amanda and Maya spent the day catching up with Dana. Cassie was another story. The girl had gone into a jail-induced funk. She complained every opportunity she got about the heat, the thinner air, the red sun, the large expanse of desert that met them outside. Amanda saw Maya look at Cassi more than once with an annoyed expression on her face but since none of the negatives were aimed at her she hadn't declared any more strikes against her. She dreaded what might happen when Cassie finally reached strike three.

Once the day passed and everyone got into their bunks for lights-out, Amanda tried her best to clear her mind. She had no idea how she was going to do this. But tonight, she was going to see if she could speak with Sarek. She needed to tell him a few things, but she also needed some answers. If she was honest with herself she also had to admit she missed him. Taking several deep breaths she began to try and broadcast to him. _Sarek…Sarek, can you hear me? Goodness, I feel so stupid trying this out. Are you there?_

… _Amanda?_ There was a level of incredulity to the enquiry. She'd never attempted to contact him this way since they'd been bonded. He'd begun to wonder if she ever would.

_Um, no, it's your fairy godmother_ she responded with a giggle.

_Amanda!_ He said, equal parts surprised and chastising. But he was also very pleased to hear from her.

_You and I need to talk, mister._

_ Agreed._

_ So?_

_ Sleep first. I will contact you then._

_ Oh…when?_

_ While you're sleeping._

She seemed to pause at that thought. _Okay. How will you know when I'm—_

_ I will know_ he assured her.

Amanda didn't think she was ever going to fall asleep. Apart of her was nervous, another part of her extremely excited. But the higher gravity, lower level of oxygen and the much longer daytime had certain side effects on Terran physiology. And one of those side effects was even the worse case of Terran insomnia would never hold up during a visit to the planet Vulcan. She was asleep in less than ten minutes.

_The dream was only a little confusing. Amanda found herself wandering the desert in the dark of night, barefoot, wearing only the lightest of nightgowns and it was very chilly. She knew where she was and then again she didn't. Whose memory was this anyway? What part of the desert was it?_

_The scenery was then changing rapidly. She was back at the Vulcan Embassy on Terra Prime standing just outside Sarek's office and still in her nightgown. She realized this was only partially a dream. It was her REM cycle, but he was riding the wave of it to contact her._

_ "This is amazing," she whispered. She found herself opening the door without knocking, knowing he would be there on the other side._

_He seemed to be as he always was, properly attired in his robes, sitting behind his desk looking efficient and official. When he looked up at her, there was something in his eyes that he would never allow to come through in real life. "Amanda," he said warmly as he stood and rounded the desk to approach her but stopped just short of touching her. "You have not given me permission."_

_ Since they were mind to mind she knew what he was referring to. He needed permission to touch her. "Do you want to?" she asked._

_ "I would never have asked you to be my bond mate if I had no desire to touch you."_

_ She began to think about his words and based solely on that asked, "So if you had no desire to touch me, what would you have done about my little situation?"_

_ "I would have logged you into the system as one of my domestics or perhaps I would have asked a kinsman in deep need to bond with you instead." And there was an exploding sensation of undisguised jealousy at the thought of her being with someone else. It was also quite shameless in its depth._

"_Oh wow," she found herself murmuring. She hadn't expected that. She put it aside in her mind to explore later._

_ "Do you wish to touch __**me**__?" he asked. He saw the love she already held for him just beneath the surface._

_ "Do you really need to ask?"_

_ "Are you referring to love?" he clarified._

_ "Yes."_

"_One sometimes has nothing to do with the other in the realm of touch."_

_ She thought about that. "I guess that's fair enough. But you need to know, you never have to ask my permission, Sarek."_

_ He drew even closer to her then, and even in her dream his form was more than tangible. His face was already close to hers as he leaned in closer and almost whispered, "You must understand, Amanda, say nothing such as that casually to a Vulcan. I will take your words literally. Do you mean what you've said?"_

_ "I mean what I said." She had a feeling she was opening the door to something she maybe didn't understand, but she felt she was ready for it…she hoped. She swallowed nervously._

_ He smiled just a little and then gently took her by the arm to sit in the chairs opposite his desk. "I will remember that in future but the time within this form of communication is limited for you. You are not used to this and I do not wish to fatigue your mind. You indicated earlier there are things that must be discussed and information you must have. What are these things?"_

_ "I'll be quick. The first one is Maya. The second one happens to be about my two friends that have just shown up here. And the last one is something that's kind of bothering me."_

_ "Begin with the first concern," he said as he took her hands into his own._

_ She grasped his hands back, warmed by their touch. "Maya."_

_ "What problem does the young woman possess?"_

_ "She's a telepath. I don't know how she survived this long without being discovered."_

_She sensed true shock from him. "Are you certain the young lady is full Terran?"_

_ "I know her mother is Terran. She has an older sister but they don't have the same father. Her mother was widowed in the second marriage so Maya never even knew her father. What does this mean for her future here?"_

_ "We must keep her abilities a secret. Make certain she understands that. I would not have it known to anyone just yet. The shortage of females has made it nearly impossible for almost a quarter of our males to find mates. And a Terran such as herself would be hunted down. As it is, I now worry of what would happen if the wrong scientist got wind of her. No, she is my ward and I will see to it that whomever bonds with her does so because she is herself and not for what she will pass on to offspring."_

_ Amanda looked at him and gave him a 'look'. "How do you know she'll marry a Vulcan?" she challenged._

_ "I will of course encourage her to help a male who is in need of a wife. I cannot help but want to help my people. Would you begrudge me that?"_

_ "So long as you don't mind my encouraging her to marry who she wants to, if she even plans on getting married."_

_ "Certainly," he agreed. "Only what she wishes to do. I will find a discrete Healer to test her abilities across the board as soon as I arrive."_

_ Amanda nodded, satisfied. "Onto the next thing. The girls…the 'domestics'?"_

_ "They will not be required to be true domestics. Only if they should wish to do so."_

_ "Hmm," said Amanda, thinking. "Well the two of them came in from the book heist. One is nice. I mean she's rough around the edges and she's got kind of a pirate thing going on, but she's a decent person, intelligent, too. She was an Assistant Researcher. Her cousin, though…I don't know about her. But I can't save one and not the other."_

_ "Do you feel this other young lady you are cautious of would be a danger to our home?"_

_ "No, Sarek, she's just full of venomous words."_

_ He sighed and the scene in her mind began to change, again. They were suddenly back on Vulcan. He had her stand up with him and the chairs they'd been sitting on in his office vanished. She looked around. It was a large tract of land with a huge stone wall around the entire expanse. She turned and saw a one-story large home and behind it was a smaller home. And far off in the distance were two other homes. "This is where I will bring you to live. The large home is mine. The one behind it is for a cousin of mine that will be staying with us, Sokam." He was still holding one of her hands as he gestured with the other. "And far off, over there, the smaller house is where the guards I keep will stay. And the bigger domicile behind that will be for your friends and whomever else you pick to be added to my 'staff'. Will that suffice?"_

_ "I think that will work out just fine."_

_ "Our time within the bond grows even shorter. You said there is something of concern to you?"_

_ "Why is Vulcan taking Thought Crime prisoners? Is it males and females? Or is it just females?"_

_ He knew she would eventually get around to wondering about that and sighed. "Amanda, there are some conversations I would rather have in person with you and not within the bond."_

_ She had to nod. "Fair enough. But you __**will**__ tell me, Sarek."_

_ "When we come together again, I will tell you," he promised._

_ She thought, then, of what the tall Syrranite guard said to the other guard about crossing the ambassador and his possible reaction to that. "You would never do anything like kill anybody, would you?"_

_ "I would never kill without provocation." And his eyes, though open, were closed on the subject._

_ She didn't know if she wanted to touch the real meaning behind that. "I think that's another conversation that falls into the 'wait until we're in person' basket."_

_ "Agreed," he said. "Our time is almost elapsed." He leaned in close to her and his hands slowly ran down the sides of her ribs then circled her back while his forehead rested against hers. Pulling her in closer to him he nearly lifted her off the ground and whispered, "Amanda. I will be with you soon."_

_ She hadn't expected him to embrace her and found her heart leaping with the contact. "But mind to mind…that was pretty good," she admitted._

_ He looked down into her eyes as he placed her fully on the ground. A heavy emotion overtook his eyes. "I am ready to have more than your mind intertwined with mine," he admitted._

_ She was nervous since they'd never done anything with one another, but she was also eager. "I meant what I said earlier, about your not having to ask permission."_

_ He cupped her face in his hands. "Take care with your words, my wife. While in person I will confirm what you truly mean. The bond has been known to cause unintended boldness. But I will take that which I desire if you indicate that it is to be so once we are reunited."_

_ She smiled. Why was he so serious about this? "Take?" she joked, trying to lighten him up._

_ But he was not joking. "And give. I will give, just as well, in fact even more, until your voice is hoarse with calling my name in exultation."_

Amanda sat up quickly, gasping for air. She lay back down just as fast and saw it was still dark. Some of the other women were already up. She had a slight headache and her breathing was a little labored. Her nipples were also harder than rocks. She rolled over with a groan of frustration and forced herself to relax back to sleep.

**_*(I wrote this chapter, went to bed, woke up, read it, hated it. I tore it up, rearranged it, butchered it, rewrote it, still hated it. I have rewritten this chapter about seven times! I'm finally satisfied with it, and I apologize for the delay. I suspect the next chapter will not be big like this one. Usually I do well with large chapters but they don't seem to be lending themselves to this story. And yes, Sarek himself will be here soon!)_**

**_J.S._**


	10. Sarek's Compound

Sarek's Compound

The last shipment of female prisoners came in the very day they were supposed to leave the prison system. Maya saw a friend of hers, Mariana Gonzalez, from her old neighborhood among them and asked Amanda if she could be the third choice saved by Sarek's house.

After Amanda spoke to TDH, Dana's acronym code-name for the Vulcan guard who saw to Amanda's needs (Tall, Dark and Handsome), Mariana was effectively saved to be another 'domestic' for the House of Sarek. The young woman was walking away from the director's desk, curious and confused about what her new status meant.

As she was walking away, almost aimless, she didn't recognize that someone was walking up to her, not until she was right in their path. "Oh, excuse-" And her mouth dropped open. "You…you're here!"

Maya grabbed her into a big hug that was eagerly returned. "I had to see you freed!"

"It was _you_?" she asked.

"No. Not really." She turned and pointed to Amanda. "It was her."

The five young ladies were called up to the door used by the director. Mr. TDH spoke solely to Amanda, though. "_T'Sai_ Amanda, y_our escort has come to collect you, the Ward of your husband and your three domestics_."

Amanda heaved a sigh of relief that he'd spoken to her in Vulcan Standard so she wouldn't have to hear Cassie's stuck up protest at being called a domestic. "_Many thanks_." She looked at the eager faces of the ladies clustered behind her. "We're going," she whispered.

All of their faces broke into grins, Mariana's eyes the biggest since she'd only just arrived that day. "Now?" she said in disbelief.

"Now," answered Amanda.

Amanda was walking with Maya and behind them walked Mariana, Dana and Cassie.

Dana leaned forward and whispered something to Maya whom turned back around and looked at her as they were exiting through the doorway. Maya whispered, "Don't you even think about it!"

"What?" asked Amanda.

"Dana really wants to smack TDH in the booty as a good-bye. She says he 'has officially brought sexy back' in her mind," whispered Maya.

"Well it's true," Dana admitted in a very low tone to the other ladies. "I mean, I was done with men. Done. Fight over, throw in the towel. I should have said _Terran_ men. I mean, just _look at him_."

As they continued walking behind him the women looked the Vulcan up and down. He was indeed taller than average, even for a Vulcan, and in his uniform he had broad shoulders, lean muscle mass and a butt you could bounce a quarter off of. "Damn," whispered Mariana as she bit her lower.

Dana, fast friends with Mariana in only a matter of hours, elbowed her in the ribs. "He's MINE, chick," she whispered with a grin. "Look at the cadence of his walk, the wideness of those shoulders and have you seen his eyes? Goodness, I want him. And at least _in my mind_, I can keep him."

"Well _you_ keep him," whispered Mariana with a mischievous grin. "That's a big guy. I don't think I could handle all of _that_ even in my imagination."

"_I_ sure could," Dana said with a pervy nod. "I'm a tall girl. I need more." And the two giggled with glee.

"This is the most patently ridiculous conversation I've ever heard," hissed Cassie.

"You guys do realize Vulcans have superior hearing and he has most likely heard everything that you've said, Dana," Amanda whispered with a big grin as they continued walking. Mariana couldn't help but laugh in response.

Then, TDH turned while still walking, looked Dana in the eye and raised one eyebrow at her. Something like a lightning strike went off in Dana's head and she didn't know what to make of what had just happened. He turned back around and continued walking. But for once she kept her mouth shut while everyone else talked to one another as they passed through the rest of the bland hallways of the prison.

They arrived at the entrance and through the glass and stone doors could see the outside world. It didn't look a thing like where they'd come from. "Culture shock," whispered Mariana.

"Total," agreed Maya.

"You must be scanned here before you are allowed to depart," said Tall, Dark and Handsome. He produced a handheld device to scan all of their wrist tags. He began with Amanda, then scanned Maya's tag. Mariana and Cassie were up next. As the four ladies clustered at the entrance/exit of the prison, they were distracted by looking out at the semi-red landscape and animatedly discussing it. The guard scanned Dana's tag as she stood quietly. "My name is Turan," he said to her as he finished up.

"My name is-"

"I am aware of your name, Dana," he said as he looked into her eyes.

She found herself smiling at him. "Bye," she said flirtatiously as she walked away. She turned back around and could have sworn she'd caught him checking her out. But of course he wasn't. Was he?

"I think," Amanda was telling them, "once you find jobs you'll be able to pretty much do whatever you want. I know there's a Terran section here on Vulcan and I don't see why you shouldn't be able to eventually move there if that's what you want and live your lives anyway you want. You just can't go back to Terra Prime."

The five ladies were standing there talking as two men exited a side door, obviously an office of some sort. One was a Terran male of Asian descent, the other was a Vulcan whom Amanda knew quite well from the embassy staff. "Zurel!" she said as she waved.

"_T'Sai_ Amanda," he addressed her. "You are looking well today."

Amanda had to laugh at his small-talk skills. Zurel had spent entirely too much time on Terra Prime. "Ladies, this is Zurel, he worked at the embassy. But what are you doing here now?" she asked as she turned back to him.

"I was the ambassador's personal guard when he left Vulcan six years ago. Since he has resigned from his post on Terra Prime I have accompanied him home."

"You mean, he's here already?" Amanda's eyes widened. She hadn't expected to see him so soon. "He wasn't supposed to be here so soon!"

"Yes. He has decided to return to his residence first to see how far along his cousin has gotten in making things ready for everyone else. Sokam has had a month to do so but I suspect Sarek wishes to expedite the presentable nature of his home for his new bride. I am here because he has assigned me to protect you, _T'Sai_, when he is not physically with you." Zurel then turned to the other man. "And this is Shin, another guard. He is here to ensure your protection should you ever venture into the Terran section, ladies."

Dana waved him off. "We don't need anyone to-"

"Believe me when I say that all unattached females who leave their family compounds these days need some form of guard. Even though this is the Syrranite side it is best to be cautious until equilibrium has been reestablished planet-wide."

"What about us?" asked Cassie.

"Oh, um," Amanda felt very rude as she said, "This is Dana, Cassie and Mariana. Ladies, this is Zurel. I've known him for years."

"We must proceed to the shuttle now. It's just outside," he said as he nodded politely at each lady. "I will take the lead. Shin, you have the rear." Shin simply nodded as he fell behind the group of females.

They all flew in the ten-seater shuttle in a state of deep quiet. Each young lady had her mind on her own particular worries. But Amanda was excited. She hadn't seen Sarek for a month. She expected- her mind stopped short. She didn't know what to expect. That was the only thing she was nervous about. She wondered why she hadn't given this as much thought as she should have leading up to this day. Perhaps, she thought, it was because she had expected the man to take longer in his business on Terra Prime. She thought she would be settled into their home long before he physically arrived on the scene.

She never thought she would get married. Most of the men she knew growing up were so womanizing or dismissive toward their wives she'd decided she would never go there. All of the good men on her world were taken immediately or swallowed up by the machine of the Empire either by its Imperial fleet or by being run over and killed by it. The one man she'd ever truly wanted a future with, her father had taken care of him for good. After that, given the rule about non-Terran males even approaching Terran females, she never considered that that route was an option for her. 'Single' used to be her middle name. But now here it was. She was now married and honestly afraid of her new future. But she had had an almost unrequited love for the ambassador for years and she was glad that it was him she'd entered the state of marriage with, even if it was a spur-of-the-moment marriage of convenience.

Her heart jumped as the insecure thoughts began to trail through her mind. She tried to stop them, but they overtook her. What if… What if… What if it turned into a disaster and there was no way out? What if the ambassador did not allow himself to feel deeply for her? She knew he was capable of deep feeling, but he was also most certainly capable of keeping those feelings as far away from himself as possible. What if she woke up one day in a loveless sham of a marriage? What then? She was bonded mentally now. How do you fix _that_? Would she simply have to continue living with him and pretend, keep up a façade? She wondered where she would go if she ever decided she wanted to leave him, what she would do… _These are such unhealthy thoughts to go into any marriage with, Amanda!_

It would be okay, she kept telling herself. It would be okay. She couldn't help but remind herself, everything Sarek did he did fully with all of himself invested. That was one man that never gave half an effort. She would go to him, make a peaceful home, perhaps even raise a family and everything would be all right. Wouldn't it? She sighed, her nerves doubling. She honestly didn't know.

The scenery remained that of desert as they traveled. "The Ambassador has moved from the city to his family's desert home because of the amount of room and the substantial amount of privacy," Zurel informed them as he flew the shuttle. "We will be there very shortly."

"Have you seen it yet?" Mariana asked Shin.

He smiled and answered, "Yes, I have. It has lots of space." His accent placed him as being from the uppermost North American region that was once known as Canada. "I think you'll like the things the ambassador has taken care of for your comfort."

"Comfort?" asked Cassie, coming to life. "Like what?"

"He's made certain you have what you need until you find employment to get whatever extras you think you'll want."

"Employment?" exploded Cassie. "There's that word again."

"How else do you get credits?" Shin asked simply. Cassie folded her arms and stewed, but she didn't say another word.

They arrived at what looked like a large tract of land on the edge of the desert. The shuttle landed in a private port just next to a tall stone wall.

Everyone stood and began to exit. Amanda walked out first and looked up and around. Nothing but miles of desert in one direction and a paved road in another greeted her eyes. It looked like the middle of nowhere. She frowned. "How close is the city, Zurel?"

"It is ten minutes by foot. But in the shuttle we would arrive in less than two minutes. There is a small Terran section on the edge of the city."

"That's not too far away," she said as the other ladies talked amongst themselves.

Her Vulcan guard escorted her to the front entrance of the stone wall first and said, "_T'Sai _Amanda, place your hand here into this slot and put your eye to the readout display."

She looked closely at where he was pointing and at first didn't see a thing. As her vision adjusted to the shadow it was in, she was able to make out a tiny box and computer. "Oh!" she said as she put her hand into the box. Then she placed her right eye up to a tiny piece of glass that she knew was a retinal scanner. After she was done, she heard a set of clicks and a door opened within the stone wall. It was strange to see that small section swing open as Zurel entered first, Amanda second, and everyone else afterward.

As she entered, the place looked exactly as it had in her dream state with Sarek, except this time it was real. The ground leading up to the main house was black volcanic stonework with an inner red hue and surrounding it was light brown pavement, but as they got closer, the area just around the home was a sand garden with pretty rock arrangements of varying colors. "That's my work," Shin whispered to her proudly with a grin. "I brought the turquoise in there from Terra Prime."

"I like it," she admitted as the young man blended back into the crowd behind her.

She looked to the right and saw there was a walkway that led to the house behind and slightly to the right of the main house. She remembered that Sarek told her that was where Sokam was staying. She looked further in the distance and saw the guard's house and to the side of that was where the ladies would be staying. All of the houses had the same type of walkway leading up to them. Looking down at the volcanic stonework, it gave off a strange dull sheen in the sunlight.

The main house was a one story large residence the color of the desert. The best way she could describe the material it was made of was some kind of earthenware, probably the Vulcan equivalent of adobe. She reasoned to herself that it probably made the inside naturally cool. She sighed nervously as they came closer to it.

The front door began to open and she broke out into a cold sweat. Outside stepped Sarek and another Vulcan, probably his cousin Sokam who in fact did resemble him. She felt just a little bit faint. She didn't know what she was supposed to do next, but Sarek himself walked up to her rapidly and extended his two fingers. G_rasp them with the same _he advised in her mind.

But already, instinctively, she was raising her right hand to his and placing her two fingers within his. She felt a jolt of something heated that traveled from him to her. "Amanda," he said softly as he looked down into her eyes. "You are here."

"Finally," she said as she swallowed back her growing nerves.


	11. First Night

_Warning: This story is rated 'M' and now the 'M' rating pops up in this chapter. But here's another warning. I'm awful when it comes to writing out anything involving sex, so don't expect this to be any good, lol! J.S._

First Night

Everyone was introduced to Sarek and Sokam. As he met Maya, Sarek briefly allowed his shields to lower and confirmed, yes, she was a telepath. He raised them again immediately and decided to speak with her about it the next day. But tonight was Amanda's.

"If you would all follow me inside," he invited the young ladies and the men into his home.

They entered behind him and were met by a cool interior. Just as Amanda suspected the coolness was a natural side effect of what the home happened to be made of. The inside was much more spacious than the outside appeared, and since the outside already appeared quite large the inside almost made her mouth drop. "This is beautiful."

He reached for her hand that time and held onto it as everyone else filed in. The room they were standing in was a large room with an open-space feel and a domed-style ceiling. To the right as well as to the left were open arched doorways. But you had to walk quite a bit before you got to either.

There was, in the seeming-living room, a brown very long curved style piece of furniture that resembled a backless couch. There were also three long tables along the back of the couch at different angles carved out of volcanic glass and hardened with a substance none of them knew the name of. The tables were black with an inner gleaming hue of red and accented a wall hanging on the wall opposite the entranceway with Vulcan script colored red on a black background. The writing was the clan name of Sarek but none of them, save the Vulcans and Amanda, could read it.

The floors were made of a reddish brown marble and the home contained wall sconces of black and brown marble. There was also a low table of pure black volcanic glass under the wall hanging that contained a small dagger. There was a green gem on the black hilt of the dagger and an incense holder with unlit incense stood behind it.

There were distinctly Terran things missing from the sitting area; curtains at the windows, overhead lighting, a coffee table, none of these things were found here. Amanda already saw one item she knew she was going to have to add to this home and that was a rocking chair, especially if she ever gave Sarek a child.

"This is the receiving room where everyone will be greeted when they enter our home," Sarek informed Amanda. Then he turned to the ladies and said, "Please, sit. Make yourselves comfortable." He then thought _Tonight, Amanda, we will explore your careless promise made to me within the bond…do you persist in standing behind it?_

She turned her face and quickly walked to a curtain-less window to look out of it and held in her laughter. He was teasing her! _I'll get you for this later._

…_Is that a sincere promise?_

She cleared her throat and remarked, "There's lots of sunlight that comes in through these windows. I like that."

"It was my sincerest wish you would find my home aesthetically pleasing," he said. _Amongst other things…_

"Ambassador, thank you so much for what you've done for us," said Mariana, unwittingly breaking into their verbal foreplay. "We more than appreciate it."

"You are quite welcomed," he said with a nod. Sokam returned then with refreshments for them all. The four ladies sat all the way on one end of the long couch while Sarek stood at the other. Zurel and Shin stood behind the tables near Sokam. The two guards were speaking to one another about who would stand watch first that night. The rest of them, the ladies and Sarek, spent about half an hour enjoying refreshments along with polite conversation that the guards also partook in from time to time. The only quiet member of the room was Sokam. Amanda then noticed that Maya had gone quieter than usual and wondered why.

"I will give the ladies a tour if you wish it, Sarek," Sokam finally spoke. His voice was deep, deeper than the ambassador's, and he contained a small amount of facial hair that could be seen just below his lower lip. It gave him a slightly questionable appearance, but it also made him outrageously good looking to the Terran females.

Maya's face darted to his and then looked away. That man was a big dangerous distraction. The ambassador, Zurel and Shin were all nice looking men. In truth, Sokam did resemble the ambassador in many ways. But the ambassador didn't make her feel like there was a four-alarm fire racing up her spine the way Sokam did. This new Vulcan also made her want to run in the opposite direction. He did not wear robes the way Sarek did, but he wore the same sort of form fitting black uniform as Zurel. Was he also to be a guard for them?

His features were aquiline and his eyes were a strange hue of brown bordering on copper. He was tall, almost as tall as the guard christened Tall, Dark and Handsome by Dana and his eyes were looking through her as she sat there. Goodness. How had she wound up looking at him again? She forced her gaze away from him. _I'll have to watch myself with him. And stay away from him!_

"That would be fine, Sokam. When you are done, bring Maya back and show her the suite of rooms that have been set aside for her."

He nodded in response, moved to the door and raised his hand toward it in invitation while looking at the group of women. The ladies giggled, all except for Maya, and stood as they followed him out of the front door. Zurel and Shin also left with them leaving Amanda and Sarek alone for the first time in a month.

As soon as they left, Sarek calmly began to lead Amanda around the entire house showing her everything. He went through the archway on the left first and showed her that part of the home. Maya's suite was a nice sized room with her own bathroom and a shallow closet. Amanda almost laughed because the closet already contained three sets of proper robes with House of Sarek script all over the very top of it. Maya was going to flip when she realized there were no heels in this repertoire!

In that wing of the house there was also an extra suite, a dining room, a library and the kitchen. The library held a computer console and various scrolls, books and minu-disks. As they walked back through the archway that led them to that side of the house, Amanda saw they were back in the receiving room, again. They then went to the archway on the right of the main entrance. To the right of that was what looked to be an office with a desk and another computer console. "If you wish I will set up another desk in the near future so that we may work together," he offered.

"When I actually find some kind of job that would suit me fine," she agreed.

He nodded and they exited the office and walked across the way from it to another door. They entered and Amanda's anticipatory nerves doubled and she found herself chewing on her lower lip. It was obviously his bedroom.

As soon as they entered he shut the door behind them as Amanda looked around and took everything in. The bed was almost low to the ground with comfortable coverings made of a lightweight material that was very warm to the touch. "It becomes quite cool in the desert at night," he informed her as she touched the blanket with the tips of her fingers. She didn't notice the way he was studying every move she made, his eyes clouding over with open desire as they watched the way her fingers caressed their bedspread.

The floor in his bedroom was also a reddish brown marble but it was treated with something that made it extra soft to the feet. There was a fireplace at the far wall. There was no fire in it at the moment, but Amanda thought of what he'd just said about how cool it got in the desert at night. "The fireplace is designed with a special vent," he said as he continued watching her looking around their bedroom. "It heats the floors to a certain degree and holds it to that precise temperature so that it does not become too warm to the touch. It is an efficient aide to keeping the chill away at night." And he was now looking her up and down, more than ready to discover his new wife.

The wall alcove had natural shelves carved into it and half of them seemed to be occupied. Half of them. She realized the other half that happened to be empty was for her things. Her nerves tripled.

Then she saw their joint closet and their private master suite's bathroom. As she rushed into the bathroom, she found herself almost moaning in need when she saw the bathtub. "I need a shower or a bath or something," she was saying as Sarek slowly walked up behind her. She was anticipating what would happen next, but they both stood there quietly, not saying a word.

She could feel Sarek's breath on the back of her neck as he leaned in close and inhaled her shamelessly. "Your scent is fine, Amanda," he whispered. "More than fine. Intoxicating."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood and her nipples were officially at attention. "I still want to get cleaned up first."

He paused for a few seconds before going on. "Did you mean what you said within our bond that night, my wife?"

"That you didn't need to ask permission?" she asked, her breath hitched up a notch.

He detected her disturbed breathing pattern and knew what it meant. He was having an effect on her. Excellent. "That is the promise to which I am referring," he said as his mouth came closer to the back of her neck.

She could feel him, right there, paused, waiting for her to speak. "I—I still mean it," she said as she turned slightly, the side of her now facing his front.

He was as close as he could be now without touching her and the room was very silent, both of them still. "No hesitation?" he asked. "I initially offered to give you time before the consummation of our relationship. I can sense your trepidation. I still extend that courtesy to you. I warn you, take it if it is needed. Once I have begun, I will not stop."

She could hardly move or breathe, she was so awash with sensations and he hadn't even touched her yet. She finally looked him in the eye. "I've wanted to touch you for so long," she found herself admitting.

"Then now, you are fully mine," he said as he put one hand behind her neck and pulled her face forward to his.

He knew she was eager to wash up and was satisfied at his foresight to make a deal with Veratis IV on having extra water delivered to his House once a month. What they had in abundance, Vulcan had a stark shortage of. Water. Even with the delivery from Veratis IV every month for the next six months there would still be strict water rationing. But for now he could give his new bride the hot bath she craved.

After his introductory kiss that sealed the declaration of whose woman she happened to be from that day forward, he indulged her need for hot water in the tub. The tub itself was a rust brown color that looked as if it had sprung up from the outdoors. After he turned the water on he took advantage of the needed wait time for the tub to fill.

Pulling Amanda to him, he sat on the wide side edge of the tub and placed her on his lap. Putting his arms around her hips, he pulled her in closer to him and tried to kiss her. She began to tease him then, smiling, not allowing his lips to reach hers since she knew that was his goal. She finally gave him one hot kiss and then lightly bit his lower lip. Her teasing continued. As he would try to kiss her she would move at the last moment and nip his chin or quickly lick his upper lip.

There was a low growl coming from him after a little of her teasing and he turned her body, repositioned her legs and pulled her directly into his front. Straddling him now, she inhaled sharply from the mutual contact of the front of their bodies. He was obviously aroused, she could feel that. Worse yet, they were still clothed. "Amanda," he whispered as his eyes devoured hers, his breathing already labored.

A feeling of heat was pooling in her pelvis as she looked into his eyes and saw undisguised desire. She suddenly had the urge to remove every last stitch of clothing.

They forced their desire aside long enough to get undressed and into the hot tub and enjoy it. She leaned back into his strong chest and lay there, relaxing, letting the hot water and his even hotter hands caress her body. The feeling of heat was beginning to pool again in her lower region and it had nothing to do with the heat of the tub. Sarek's hands seemed to be everywhere at once, except at that one crucial spot. He was now the one teasing her as he soaped her methodically. She returned the favor after a short time and delighted in running her hands over every part of him. Before they exited the tub, they faced each other and poured water over one another to ensure the removal of all soap. Seeing the man soaking wet sent her libido through the roof.

He was out of the tub first and she got a good look at his body. He was made of a bulkier muscle than she would ever have expected from looking at him in his robes. His chest was solid and she couldn't resist the urge to walk into his open arms and give him a light bite on the chest. He inhaled sharply as he pulled her to him, lifting her fully off of the ground then and carrying her into their bedroom. He lay her down on the bed and she began to stir, attempting to sit up, but he insisted she remain where she was. "What?"

"There is something I must give you." She saw his head hovering above hers. He was then kissing her lips slowly, softly. His head began to lower as he tasted, licked and sucked every part of her on his way down.

He was at her collarbone when, "Give me?" she asked, breathless.

"It is an inducement for you to never think of another," he said as his head went even lower and he paid careful attention to her breasts.

The stirrings in her mind of shock and scandal culminated in a hitch in her breathing as she felt his face going ever lower…"Sarek?" His kisses graced her ribs and then he went…lower, "Sarek…" He was now nipping the skin of her lower abdomen and still he went…lower. She inhaled sharply and sat up only partway and then lay back again as he went to work on the one place she thought he would never think of visiting so soon.

As the tension in her body grew, she felt his tongue performing an orchestrated work of art. After a short time she gasped once…twice…a third time. She found herself moving her hips in a dance she had no idea she even knew until then. She was so close, but she could tell he was intentionally drawing it out. She moaned in frustration and need and pushed herself closer to him as she hooked her legs behind his neck.

_Speak my name…_ came the request from inside her mind.

"You S…S…Sadist!" she accused, only partially outraged.

She could feel the rumble of laughter through their bond. _There will be no reward if the accurate name is not given. _It was a challenge. How long could she take this assault?

She held back as long as she could and when the wait and full brunt of the need for release was too much, she screamed, "SAREK!" at the top of her lungs. And then she was given blissful fulfillment with four full flicks of his tongue to the perfect spot. She found herself sobbing his name this time as she experienced a wave of something she'd never gotten from any other lover.

As she came back down she was shaking. Embarrassment swamped her and she wondered who'd heard her since she'd screamed his name quite loudly.

There was what could only be described as a smug grin on Sarek's face as he took his time kissing his way all the way back up to her face. Their bodies then joined together and he filled her to capacity. He continued what had only just begun as he buried both of his hands into her hair, pulled her face to his and kissed her mindless. _Are you concerned who can hear your cries of pleasure? Do not be, our room has been soundproofed. And you are at my mercy all night, Amanda…I wish to hear you call my name at least two more times. Once was not enough._

She couldn't even think to answer as she grabbed onto him with her arms and legs and held on tight. Her hands branded their way up his back and she had a feeling she was going to be fully exhausted by the time he was finished with her.


	12. Sokam's Point of View

_(This little piece is by no means necessary to continue with the story. But there seems to be some Sokam Groupies out there! This is what happened to him when he first encountered Maya.)_

Sokam's Point of View

He moved away from the group sitting in his kinsman's reception room and walked through the left archway and retrieved the refreshments he had been preparing as they pulled up in the shuttle. He found himself strangely moved by one of the females. Her name was Maya. "Maya," he said to himself. The sound of it was unfamiliar to him. He was curious about this Terran. He told himself he only wished to know more about her and then he would abandon the topic once his interest was fulfilled.

He picked up the refreshments, returned to the receiving room, put them down. His cousin offered for them all to partake. Each took their own refreshment, but Sokam handed Maya her cup as soon as she approached, careful not to touch her hand so as not to violate her privacy. He did hold onto the cup for a second too long causing her to look up at him with her deep brown eyes. Why had he done that? He didn't understand why.

She took her beverage and sat down next to the one named Mariana. During the half hour of discussion he could tell she was discreetly tracking everything he did, watching him from the corner of her eye. She'd probably survived as long as she had by being careful of everything around her.

There was something about Maya, strength paired with some form of vulnerability. It caused him to temporarily lower his mental shield to get a gauge of her emotional state. He was instantly bombarded by a sensation he had not expected to encounter from the petite woman not too far from where he was standing. Had he not have been so meticulously careful of his reactions in public he would have gasped. She was a telepath! Her eyes flickered to him and then looked down, almost embarrassed. She'd sensed his probing. He immediately reinstated his mental shield.

He took the earthenware tumblers away when everyone was done. Instead of reentering the room immediately Sokam watched from the side of the archway. How was it possible the little Terran had mental abilities? How had she survived in the Empire this long? What danger had she narrowly escaped? And what were the chances she would wind up here, with them? Her skin was flawless and appeared quite soft and yielding. Her hair was in a lone braid down her back and looked to also be soft to the touch. Her face was well put together and what little he'd heard of her voice had been level and indicative of the careful choosing of words. But she didn't speak often. She was still on the watch. How long would it be until she relaxed and showed her true self? He then wondered if it was him that caused this alertness in her.

He reentered the room, stood off to the side, was careful of watching her so closely. He didn't want to make her leery of him. "I will give the ladies a tour, if you wish it, Sarek," he finally spoke up. He knew his cousin would want time alone with his new bride.

Maya looked at him then for only a split second and he realized the sound of his voice had caused her to turn his way. He watched her intently, then, forgetting that he was supposed to be giving her space. He wanted to know what would happen if he held eye contact with her. Sokam sent out a mental inducement for her to look his way. Slowly, her eyes turned back to him without her realizing it. And she held his gaze for a few seconds. They were staring at one another, but no one else noticed. His breath caught in his chest when he briefly allowed his mental shields to drop once more to test her ability. She snapped her eyes away from him again.

"That would be fine, Sokam. When you are done, bring Maya back and show her the suite of rooms that have been set aside for her," said Sarek.

He would have time alone with her soon, then. That suited him well. He wanted to speak with her without an audience present. He wanted to know who she was and where she came from. What were her thoughts? What did she wish to do with her time here, on Vulcan? He wanted to know everything she was willing to share. But if she didn't wish to share these things with him, he would force himself to leave her in peace. He would not allow himself to descend into the pit of obsession and jealousy he would have in his earlier youth. No, this lady, this Maya, she was worth more than being hounded by him. But he would protect her while she stayed here. He knew, with her abilities, she was going to need it.


	13. Dreaded Conversation

Dreaded Conversation

Amanda awoke the next day to find Sarek not in bed with her. Of course, he'd probably been up for hours by then. She lay in bed and smiled at the memory of the night before. It had been better than she ever thought possible. She knew Vulcans had deep emotions they kept under strict control at all times. But it amazed her she had never considered that that control might produce a slingshot effect in the bedroom. What was kept so tightly controlled all of the time had to have an outlet at some point. And Sarek, it seemed, had years of pent-up control to expend.

She had been no virgin when they joined, but she was distinctly sore. It wasn't just the size of him, but the frequency of the overflow of his passion for her. He had awakened her three times that night and thoroughly exhausted her each time. Wondering what time it was, she forced herself out of their warm bed to get cleaned up and dressed.

He was in his office, working intently on something. "Amanda," he said as she walked in. He stood quickly and greeted her with his two outstretched fingers, no signs on his face of what those fingers and hands were capable of when set loose on her body.

"Good morning, Sarek," she said.

"It is nearly noonday," he said with a slight twinkle in his eyes. "Your exhaustion must have been complete." Her face turned a deep shade of red as she looked down at both their feet with a half-smile. "You are certainly free to return to bed if it is needed." He was then fixing her robes. "This part of your robe must always be facing outward," he was saying. "The family crest must be seen."

She looked down at what he was doing and felt the tips of his fingers lightly brushing against her through the fabric. It made her hot all over again and she wondered where this part of herself had been hiding for years. "You can't touch me right now, Sarek," she said as she moved away from him and sat in an available chair. "I need to think straight." Ironically it was just across from his desk, the same place she always sat at the embassy on Terra Prime. How things had changed since then! "We need to have a conversation, remember?"

He remembered. His back was to her and he closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. He had no way of knowing how she was going to react to the things he needed to tell her today. But it had to be done. He'd promised to give her this information. He closed the door to his office and then sat behind his desk. Perhaps it would be easier this way.

Amanda got the distinct impression that Sarek was using his desk as a barrier between them. "No, no, mister. You need to come from behind the desk and sit next to me while we talk about this. There are things that you need to tell me."

She was highly perceptive! It was the reason he'd always found her so fascinating. But that deep perception had clued her in to several things that were very wrong with the penal system on his world involving the Terran females. He stood and made his way back to the other side of the room, pulled up a chair and sat directly next to her. "Is this seating arrangement to your satisfaction? If you wish, I can retrieve a more comfortable chair for you."

Amanda thought he was stalling. And it made her even more worried about what was about to come out of his mouth. But it couldn't be all that bad…could it? "Tell me, Sarek. Tell me everything."

He looked down at her hands in her lap and took them into his own. "There is much that needs to be said," he began. "But I need for you to understand, I have nothing to do with half of it."

"All right," she said.

He decided to start at the beginning. "I must first reveal to you a piece of my heritage that is now a burden you must bear."

She saw the tips of his ears going green. What was so bad it was making him blush? "I'm open to it."

He looked into her eyes and a fleeting grimace of pain passed his face. It was gone as quickly as it had shown itself, but that look would later haunt her. "My people have controlled their passions since Surak revealed the proper way we should live to prevent war amongst ourselves. Some of us follow him to a more extreme extent than others. But as a species our survival is tied up in a cycle of shame that occurs to every male among us every seven years. Without the initial onset of this cycle, our males would be infertile. Some experience this cycle as early as 26 and some as late as their fifties. But the initial onset always comes upon us at sometime in our lives and from that moment on, approximately every seven years, it intrudes upon us again. The proper name for it is the 'Pon Farr' or Time of Mating."

She was deep into his narrative and wondered why he'd looked so ashamed at the beginning of his telling it.

"You must understand, Amanda, this Time has happened since the Beginning. And it is never spoken of in public. It is our biggest open secret and our monumental shame."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Sarek," she declared.

He nodded. "You do not understand what this means to the sufferer. He is rendered temporarily insane. He knows nothing else but what his objective happens to be. To mate or die trying."

"Die?" she asked, shocked.

"The beginning of the blood fever culminates in the koon-ut-kal-i-fee. Marriage or fight to the death. It is the right of the female to challenge her mate's claim and choose another to champion her. I suppose one may see it as a bloodier form of divorce, except this one is usually quite fatal for the male that loses since he most likely loses his life in combat."

"And the one that wins?" she asked.

"The woman becomes the property of the victor."

She paused. "I see." She didn't like the word 'property', but this was their world and she supposed she had no right to judge a culture she still only half understood. "So what, no type of punishment for the one that kills the other or for the woman that started it all?"

He nodded his head. "It is legal. There is none for either party nor for the woman. It is her right."

She also nodded. "I see. And there's nothing that can be done for this Pon Farr instead? Stasis? Medication?"

"Our scientists, Healers and physicians are quite gifted. But despite their intelligence they have never found a drug to dull the Fires of Pon Farr. Some males have succeeded in combating the affliction with meditation, but it is a difficult process and only the oldest and most controlled of us is capable of such a feat."

She was afraid to ask but, "What happens to a male that has no mate and is incapable of meditation?"

"Death."

She was confused. "Do you mean the death by combat you mentioned?"

"No," he said as he stroked her hand absently. "No. He will die. He will die in an insane imbalanced state. As time goes on he will grow weaker and a fever will wrack his body that rivals the hottest time of day in our deserts. And in the end, he will not even be capable of coherent speech. Finally, weakened by the overabundance of the hormone in his system that causes the plak-tow, or blood fever, he dies in agony."

Amanda frowned as the pieces of the puzzle she had begun two weeks before began to be put into place without any help from him. "So…"

"You must say it."

"So…you go through this, as well?"

"I have."

"And what happened to your bond mate? You're alive but you were single before you and I bonded. Where is she?"

He swallowed. "When the Rihans detonated the device in our atmosphere and the plague began she was pregnant with my child. She was one of the first fatalities. She died and our son was delivered prematurely."

"You have a son!" she said, shocked.

"And due to the fact that she protested our bonding, she willed him to her V'Tosh Ka'tur family. I have fought for custody, but I have been denied. When he reaches fourteen years of age he may choose whom he wishes to live with. Until then, I have no right to see him."

She was blindsided by this information. "How is it right that you have no contact with your own son?" she asked.

"Here the female is the head of the clan. And in the case of the death of a parent, if the bond mate so wishes, the resultant child either stays with her family or the child may go and be with his other parent. She did not wish the child to be with me."

"But why?" she asked, incredulous.

"I am a Syrranite. She despised my way of life. We were bonded from very young, arranged by our families. When my Time came upon me and I returned to Vulcan, I did not find out until later she planned on challenging my right to her. But the one who was to be my challenger is in the Imperial Fleet and was unable to make it home in time to bring forth challenge. She was forced to serve me in my time of need. Had I been in my right mind, I certainly would not have allowed it."

She felt terribly for him. And this problem was becoming more and more complicated the more she put it together. "What is your son's name?"

"Sybock."

"And when do you estimate you will go through this Pon Farr again?"

"Approximately two years, three months and eight days."

She nodded in contemplation. Okay. I can do this. I can do this. She looked into the face of the man she'd felt love for, for so many years, but kept it silent. Could she truly do this for him to keep him alive? Looking into his deep eyes, feeling the spell he cast over her just from gazing at her- Yes, she could. "I'll take care of you," she assured him.

He exhaled and hadn't realized until then that he'd been holding his breath, waiting for a verdict from her of acceptance or denial of this burden. "And now we enter the most unpleasant part of your fact-finding," he said as he let go of her hands. He knew once she discovered the full story, she was not going to want him touching her again perhaps for a long time. It was an eventuality he knew was very possible from the time he'd asked her to bond with him. "The attack by the Rihan Empire- We did all we could as a stopgap. Called every female home to marry, even went into the lower age groups as young as seventeen to ensure all males were covered. Even with those measures a little under a quarter of our males are without mates. We did not know what to do, so our leadership did something shameful." He seemed stuck to the spot, unable to go on.

She sat there and thought about it and thought about it, but she refused to accept what her mind was telling her. She didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to.

The flashback walked up and kicked her in the gut, forcing denial from the fog of her mind:

'"S_he is taken."_

_"By you?"_

_"No. That is the Ambassador's lady. He is Syrranite to the core but do not provoke him. He is like any one of us when something of his is threatened."_

_"I must have a mate soon! My Time approaches-"'_

Amanda stood quickly, gasping. She literally couldn't breathe. "You mean to tell me that Terran females are being shipped here to- What?"

He didn't deny it. He simply sat there, head down, honestly shame-faced. "I did not agree with this arrangement. My words, my protests, were ignored. They fell on ears that might as well have been incapable of hearing."

She tried to be reasonable, to think this through, but she just kept thinking of Terran women being herded who knew where and being used brutally. And he'd saved her from that. Not only her, but Maya, Cassie, Dana and Mariana. But so many others were still suffering. Why did she escape and the others did not? Guilt was quickly on her heels and on the heels of her guilt, anger. "You have to do something, Sarek!"

"What could I possibly do, Amanda?"

"You're an ambassador! No one has the skills you do in this department! You can help those women."

"And who will help the men of my planet that face death without those women?"

"There has to be another way!"

"I am unaware of another way."

"You're unaware of another way because you haven't tried to figure out another way! So your people are mistreated by my people and your people have found a way to get back at my people by raping our female prisoners?"

"You are not portraying the circumstances in an accurate light, Amanda," he insisted.

"Oh? How many of these women have emerged from these couplings married to the Vulcan they help to live?"

He spoke honestly. "Two."

"In what, three years only two have come out with a permanent bond amongst how many prisoners? How many prisoners are there, Sarek?"

"By my last count, there are nearly a thousand."

"And despite how many there are, how many men still die every year because there are not enough to go around?"

He nodded. "Approximately two thousand. And that is mainly because on the Syrranite side no woman is allowed to serve more than one man. Once she has gone to a man in his Time, she does not have to serve any other man again. Only him."

"But on the V'tosh Ka'tur side?"

"The Terrans that go to them are used repeatedly."

Instant tears struck her eyes as she thought of the hell of their lives. The words of the director to the women headed to that side of the planet- _'Your life is about to become a living hell'-_ came back at her. She backed away from him slowly and found herself against the door. "Sarek…" She was sinking down to the ground. How could she live happily and know this was going on? How could she stand by and do nothing? And what about the men caught in the middle who would surely die without this macabre intervention? It was a Catch 22 if she'd ever heard of one. But there had to be some way to fix this. What the hell was wrong with this universe? "Our women are good enough to bed, to keep your men alive, but not good enough to marry."

He had to admit that was very close to the mark. "It is shameful, but that seems to be the prevailing consensus among my people."

"And yet, Vulcans are so intelligent, so much more deductive in their reasoning than we could ever be…how is it you still don't know a way to fix this?" she asked him with an accusatory glare.

He hadn't expected this from her. She was angry, yes, but not because of the circumstances. In truth, her anger was because they had currently not worked out a way to fix it somehow. She had faith that it was possible, that they could fix that which had gone terribly wrong. She turned to the door to open it. The only thing he could think was he could not lose her this way. But he didn't know what to say. So she walked out of his office. He knew it was best to let her go for the time being.


	14. Culture Shock

Culture Shock

Amanda walked as quickly as she could through the house. She did not want to see or speak to that man again for the rest of the day. She simply did not want to. She didn't know what to think at the moment. Was she being unreasonable? Should she be more understanding? It's not as if it were Sarek himself that had done this to those women. Why should she be angry with him?

But the more she thought of it, the more something inside her screamed NO! This was most certainly NOT LOGICAL to keep slaves this way and especially for _that_. She knew the Empire held slaves for all sorts of terrible purposes, but that the Vulcans would partake was breaking her heart in pieces. She'd expected more from them.

Before Amanda could knock, Maya opened her door. "Amanda," she greeted. "What's wrong?" she asked as she stood aside for her to enter.

Amanda walked in and only then registered that Maya was not wearing the robes from her closet. She was wearing what looked like a set of black slacks and a business shirt. "What in the… where did you get that?" she asked. "Sarek didn't leave you any Terran clothes in the closets."

"Mariana came over and dropped it off this morning. I called her because I feel kind of funny wearing-" she pointed to the open closet and the robes. "That."

Amanda looked down at her own robes. "I know what you mean."

"But your husband is a Vulcan and it makes sense if_ you_ wear the clothing of his people. But why do I have to wear the robes?" she asked feeling a little childish. "Why don't the other girls have to wear them? They have generic Terran clothing in their closets."

Amanda sighed tiredly and sank down on her friend's bed. "Oh, Maya," she said.

Maya sat next to her and frowned. "I'm sorry, Amanda. I asked you all those questions so quickly when I knew you were in a bad spot emotionally. It was selfish of me."

Amanda looked over at Maya and felt tears of stress trying to break through to the surface. "No, Maya. It's not fair for _you_ to keep putting your thoughts on the backburner just because you have a sense of what people are going through before they even open their mouths. That's not fair to you."

The two simply sat there, Amanda still on the problem in her head and Maya trying to figure out another way to ask Amanda what was wrong. "Um…" She swallowed. "So was last night…no good or something?" she asked delicately.

It was the last question Amanda expected to hear and she found herself doubled over with hysterical laughter. She was laughing so hard, tears finally began to flow down her face. "You have no idea!"

"Was it that bad?" whispered Maya. She sensed her mixed up emotional state. She was positively all over the place. What happened?

"Oh goodness, no," she admitted as she sobered up. Then she whispered, "That's the best sex I've ever had in my life." She didn't have to be a telepath to know Maya was about to barrage her with questions. "Don't ask, I'm not telling," she warned.

Her friend only grinned. "Damn! I guess I can't blame you. I wouldn't tell either." She shrugged. "So then what _is_ wrong?"

Amanda sighed again. "I can't really tell you that. It's tied up with the secrets of this damned planet that I guess I'm sort of honor bound to protect at this point."

She looked unsure of herself for a second but plunged forward anyway. "Um… so are you mad at your husband or 'the planet'?"

Amanda fell backward on the bed and realized the sleeping surface was really comfortable. "I-" She thought carefully about the question she was about to answer. "Truthfully, I guess I am angry with…the planet, if that's the way we can phrase that. At him? No, not technically 'him'. But I guess I'm angry with him as a representative _of_ his planet."

Maya was confused. "So he didn't do anything to you?"

"Oh, he didn't do ANYTHING all right," she said, getting angry all over again.

"So he failed to do something and that got you angry?"

"I think you've hit it on the nose. I mean, he did try to do something, but it wasn't good enough and the problem never got handled."

Maya sat there and thought that over. "That's kind of not fair, Amanda. How's he supposed to know what to do if you don't tell him? And you say he tried to fix it but it wasn't good enough? Do you mean good enough for you or good enough for the problem?"

She exhaled heavily. "Maya, this isn't regular marriage stuff. This is a big honking bad situation. It's big enough to fly an Imperial Starship through it."

She nodded. "You're right, you're right. It's none of my business. I have no idea what you're angry with him about. I don't even know anything about marriage or whatever. Hell, I don't know that much about men except they're all pigs. Well at least Terran men are."

"About those robes," Amanda broke into Maya's dialogue.

"Yeah?"

"You wear them when you're ready to wear them."

She was relieved. "Okay."

####

Dana and Mariana had gotten Shin up pretty early in the morning. They'd already been on the 'net and found the Want Ads for the Terran section of the city nearest them. He took them on a job search that very morning. They asked Cassie if she wanted to go and her answer was 'go screw yourselves'.

"Is she always that angry?" asked Mariana while they were getting into the shuttle with Shin. They'd left Cassie in her bed that day still in her pajamas.

"What makes you think she was angry?" asked Dana.

"Well I don't think someone says 'go screw yourselves' because they're walking on sunshine."

"Oh, she can. That's just her," said Dana.

"All of the time?"

Dana sighed. "My cousin is a rich girl. And it's sad because I've known plenty rich girls that work their asses off, but my cousin is not one of those girls. She's _that_ kind of rich girl."

"What kind is that?" asked Shin from the front of the shuttle as he began to take off.

"She's the one that makes the hardworking ones look bad. She's the type that's never had to do a thing for herself her entire life. And now she finds herself disowned, disinherited and dissatisfied with her prospects in life. She's probably really depressed right now."

"Then why would someone like that commit a Thought Crime?" asked Mariana. "She stole some banned books or something, right?"

Dana smiled almost sadly. "Everyone did what they did that night for their own reasons. Amanda feels it's a sin to burn a book, especially anything that teaches Terrans how to control themselves better. Maya hates the Terran Empire and feels their days are numbered. I am—well I was a research assistant and I believe in the free flow of information, that to suppress information is to ask for trouble in a society. And Cassie-" She shrugged. "Cassie did it just for the thrill, just because she could. She honestly didn't _believe_ she would get caught. And we discussed getting caught, that the chances were really high we would all get caught for what we did. But the big thing was to get the books to a safe location _before_ getting caught. Amanda, Maya, and I accepted that consequence ahead of time. But she didn't want to listen to any of us. She just wanted a cheap thrill. And now this is where she finds herself."

"So she can't accept the consequences because she feels-?"

"She feels she's getting the short end of the stick. She can't see past her own nose right now. All she knows is that Amanda is now the woman of a high house. And Maya, someone who is supposedly beneath her, is living _in_ the high house instead of her. And she has to share a little house and bathroom, actually share, with you and I, girls from lower stations in life. Forget the fact that we each have our own room and privacy."

"But you're her cousin!"

"Doesn't matter. She's more important than both of us in her mind. And now she has to face the prospect of getting a job and learning how to survive in a society that she also feels is below _her_. Because don't you know, even though the Vulcans are stronger than us and smarter, Terrans are superior to everyone else."

Mariana snorted. "She actually drank that Kool-Aid?"

"Every day of her life she's been fed that. And she really believes it. And now she's not only got to face up to consequences she didn't even think she would have to face, but she has to actually work for her money instead of just asking daddy to give it to her."

Mariana nodded. "I think that's sad that she has to learn everything the hard way now."

Dana sighed tiredly. "No, girl. What's sad is that I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. And at some point we're _all_ going to pay for her misery. And she can't even see how fortunate she is to have gotten out of a life sentence. Selfish broad," she said as the shuttle landed.

Shin turned to them. "Are you telling me she cannot be trusted?"

"To a certain extent I think she can be trusted. But when it comes down to her or someone else, the 'someone else' is getting dogged out no matter the cost."

####

Maya and Amanda ventured out later that afternoon to check up on the girls. They found out from Cassie that Shin had taken them job hunting that morning. "They're not back yet?" asked Amanda.

Cassie shrugged. She was still in her pajamas and looking sullen. "No."

"Have they called?"

"No."

Amanda had half a mind to tell Cassie that it was late enough in the day for her to already be dressed, but she decided maybe now was not the time. "We'll stop by and ask Zurel if he's heard anything."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

As the two ladies walked away, Maya frowned as she looked back at the house they were leaving. "What is it?" asked Amanda.

Maya didn't know how to phrase what she needed to say. "She's so lost right now. A blackness has taken over her."

"Can you tell me anything else?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"What if you touched her? What would that tell you?"

"A straight dose of that mind? Are you actually trying to put me in the hospital?"

The two laughed as they walked up to Zurel's door. Amanda knocked and he answered. She saw Sokam in the background having a cup of something. "I'm sorry to bother you. I didn't realize you had company-"

"There is no bother," said Zurel as he opened the door wider. "Please, enter."

The ladies walked in as Amanda informed him, "We didn't want to intrude, but we were wondering if you've heard anything from Shin and the girls."

Zurel pointed them to a small backless couch. Sokam was sitting on one of his own. Both ladies sat down on the other couch next to each other. Zurel pulled up a chair. "Shin called about an hour ago. Apparently due to her qualifications, Dana is to begin an internship in two days. She has been quite successful. They decided to remain in the Terran section of the city for another hour or two in order for Mariana to find something as well. But it looks doubtful for her at this point. She was quite disappointed." He stood almost quickly. "I apologize _T'Sai_ Amanda, _T'Sai_ Maya, may I bring you two a beverage?"

"Yes," said Amanda.

Maya said, "No."

They both looked at one another and Amanda grinned. "Excuse me," she said to Zurel and then whispered to Maya, "According to custom you have to take it."

The lady's eyebrows climbed and she looked back at Zurel. "Yes, thank you, I'll take whatever you have," she changed her answer.

"I will return shortly."

As soon as Zurel left, Sokam asked, "_T'Sai_ Maya, why are you not in the robes with the family crest? I procured them for you myself."

"Amanda said I could wait until I was ready to wear them."

He raised one eyebrow. "I do not understand what readiness has to do with wearing a proper article of clothing."

Maya, for the first time in a while, found herself squinting at someone in displeasure. "Well _I_ don't think that's any of your business," she said in a low tone.

Zurel returned just then and placed tumblers of freshly brewed desert iced tea in their hands. Both ladies drank. It was not at all sweet, almost quite bland, but it was very very cold and refreshing to the body on such a hot day. Amanda wanted to laugh as Maya glared at Sokam.

"Your mode of dress is indeed my business," he said. "It is my clan and you are the ward of my cousin. It is imperative that you represent yourself as such at all times."

"Well I'm not _going_ anywhere today," she said with attitude. "What difference does it make what I wear?"

"Are you planning on job hunting tomorrow?" asked Zurel of Maya, trying to deflect the unpleasant tone of the subject onto something else.

"Yes," she said to him as Sokam himself answered for her, "No."

This time, both Amanda and Maya looked at him in shock. _Oh HELL NO he didn't just answer for me!_ "Excuse me, brother-man, who asked you?"

Amanda heard the expression 'brother-man' and knew Maya was about to tell Sokam where to go and how to get there. She stood quickly. "The tea was delicious. We have to go now!"

But Sokam didn't get the point. "You cannot yet venture out in public without knowing a proper mind block."

The silence was so deafening it was almost comical. Except it wasn't. Not to Maya, anyway. Zurel actually looked uncomfortable and Amanda didn't understand what he'd just said or why. All she knew was the opinionated Vulcan and the Terran young lady were simply staring at one another and Maya didn't look too happy. "That's private," was all she whispered at him as if she were very hurt.

Sokam realized too late he'd angered Maya. But he didn't understand why. He was simply seeing to her welfare. "It is not logical to become upset with me for being concerned about your safety," he said.

For some reason she couldn't understand, Maya found herself swallowing back tears. She stood and handed Zurel her tea. "That was delicious. Thank you for your hospitality," she said to him. She turned and left with Amanda.

As soon as the door closed, Zurel looked at Sokam. "If you wish to obtain your goal that was not the way to go about it."

"Of what goal do you speak?" he asked.

"Your intentions are clear because I am a Vulcan. Make no mistake, I have been on Terra Prime for years, but it has not led to my becoming ignorant of my race. And it is quite plain that you wish to obtain the young Terran as a bride. But you committed several very glaring errors within a short span of time. Unless you rectify the situation, the probability of her ever speaking with you again will sharply decline over time."

Sokam was confused. "I do not understand the infractions I am supposed to have committed. Do Terran females not wish for concern to be shown for them?"

Zurel sat down opposite Sokam whom was quickly becoming a friend to him. "Preceding anything I may say she has only just met you and feels under no obligation to listen to you. And now for the first issue, Terran females and clothing; you do not tell a Terran female what she can or cannot wear."

He noticeably frowned. "I meant no disrespect. To be invited to wear our robes is a sign of honor."

"She does not yet fully understand that. And her reasoning was sound. She wishes to wait until she understands and feels ready for that responsibility, for you must acknowledge it is a very deep responsibility. She is to represent a House she does not yet fully understand. And according to her words she also deduced that since she was not going anywhere important today there was no reason to wear them at home."

Sokam nodded. "I was in error. I will convey that fact to her. What further infraction did I commit?"

"You answered for her."

"She should not venture out without learning to shield her mental abilities first. That is only logical."

Zurel wanted to smack himself in the head. It was the first time he'd ever wanted to perform an emotionally based hand gesture. "Sokam, are you aware of females?"

"Terran?"

"Terran, Vulcan, it does not matter. Females in general?"

He thought about that. He'd had several very intense physical relationships in his youth while still living on the V'Tosh Ka'tur side. But they had all quickly descended into obsession and jealousy as soon as a sexual element entered the picture. "No," he admitted. "I do not understand the female mind." After his bonding he'd left quickly to cross over to the Syrranites to learn to control himself so he could thereby make a better husband to his mate someday.

Zurel tried to pick his words carefully. "Females…they do not wish to have someone speak for them, tell them what to wear, what to say, what to do. They see it as controlling. In fact, it_ is_ controlling. It leads to a phrase in Terran society their women call 'red flags'."

Sokam was fascinated. "What are these 'red flags'?"

"A 'red flag' is what is tripped in a Terran female's mind when she has the instinct that the male who is interested in her will prove to be injurious to her in the near or far future in some way whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or a combination of two or all three. This male is to be avoided at all costs."

He was now confused. "I would never prove injurious to Maya. What must I do to disperse this misunderstanding in her mind?"

"I am sorry to inform you but that is as far as I have been able to get in my study of Terran relations. I advise you to speak with either Sarek or _T'Sai_ Amanda on how to rectify this situation fully."


	15. Amends

_I wasn't too sure about posting this chapter. It is kind of dark and 'out there' but I had an illogical attachment to it and every time I found myself about to dump it I couldn't bring myself to do that. So here it is, I wound up posting it anyway._

_J.S._

Disclaimer: The sister-planet T'Kuht is the sole property of the writers that used it in their novels. I'm just borrowing her for fun and I'm not making any money off of her!

Amends

Amanda came upon Maya that evening standing outside, watching the sky. She seemed to be spellbound. "What is it?" she asked as she also looked up at the sky.

"I didn't know Vulcan had a moon. And why is it so _large_?" asked Maya.

She remembered then, they were never allowed out of the detention center at night, those few weeks, so Maya would not have seen Vulcan's neighboring planet slowly coming into phase. Amanda put on her teacher hat and said, "As the night grows darker it will appear larger in the sky. It only appears once every seven years and it grows larger and larger in the night sky as the weeks go on until it is in full phase. I think it takes 3 months to get to the full phase stage. It remains that way, in full phase as far as I know, and makes the night appear as day for a few weeks or months, I can't remember how long off the top of my head." As she spoke on her subject, she looked awe struck to finally be seeing it with her own eyes. "Then it begins to recede over a few weeks, I think 12, and is gone again for the next seven years. I've seen pictures, read up on it, but I've never seen the real thing until now. But as far as I know, it's not a moon."

"Not a moon?"

"It is usually called T'Kuht, but it depends on what part of the planet you're from."

Maya sank down onto the ground outside. It seemed fitting to her to watch the ever rising planet from the sands of the desert. Something about this world, this star system, was calling to her and imploring her to make it her own. Something about that world hanging above was affecting her deeply. But she wouldn't speak of it aloud. She swallowed back tears.

"Amanda," said a voice from behind them both. They turned and saw Sarek standing there, something unspoken in his eyes. "If it would please you, my wife, I would speak with you in confidence."

She saw the look on his face and decided, yes, it was time they spoke. "I'll be back-"

"No," said Maya. "You go. I'm going to watch- her right now," she said as she referred to the rising planet. "Don't worry about coming back. I'm going to bed in a little while anyway."

"I will remain in Maya's company," said another, deeper voice.

The ladies and Sarek saw Sokam standing there having come from around the other side of the main house. Maya most certainly didn't want him to keep her company, but she wanted Amanda to work out whatever was wrong between her and Sarek. "See, he'll keep me company. Go."

"Behave yourself," Amanda warned her with one finger wag.

"Don't worry. I won't go ghetto on him," Maya whispered up at her friend with half a smile.

Amanda smiled and left her there…with him. The newly married couple entered the home and Maya continued sitting in the sand.

Sokam didn't know where to begin. "May I?" he asked as he walked up to her.

She was glad he'd at least asked. "Fine," she said as she looked back up at the non-moon in the sky. She was aware that some part of her was pushing Sokam away because of the demons of her past. But it hurt too much to think about it.

He sat next to her and watched her features by the growing light of T'Kuht; the soft roundness of her almost high cheekbones, the nearly almond shape of her eyes, her strong jaw structure, the slope of her chin. He didn't know where to begin. But she seemed quite interested in the planet growing above them as time went on. "She is not yet in full phase. She will be in a month's time. And it will light the desert as if a weak sun shines there."

He continued on the subject at hand, "In ancient times, T'Kuht was referred to as The Watcher," he began his history lesson. "It was believed by my people back then to be a silent witness to all of the atrocities committed by the bloodthirsty warlords of my world. She watched and she stood in judgment, a reminder to those that committed such heinous crimes that their deeds would be remembered and she would punish those deeds."

Maya found herself deeply affected by his words and was temporarily rendered speechless. She wanted to know more about that world but found she couldn't verbally bring herself to ask him.

Anticipating her wish, he continued of his own initiative, "Under the Eye of the Watcher, a planet that is a moon to T'Kuht herself, the Great Warlord Poraneth'kar committed one of the greatest acts of mass-murder ever heard of in my planet's past in one instance by a single individual. He herded a portion of his wayward population into a square and unleashed his dark gift of pyrotelekinetics upon them. As a show of force and to make an example of what happens to those punished by their warlord, he boiled the blood in the veins of over twenty thousand men, women and children that night. The population indeed never disobeyed him again. But he had gone too far. Upon the next phase of T'Kuht, when she was at her height and the Eye rose to look down upon him, it is said she caused him to lose his mind and thus, as a result, his kingdom. It was said this was judgment for the evils he committed upon his population in the past. But the thing that pushed our sister-world into action against him was the Massacre under The Watcher and the Eye of the Watcher who bore witness to his depravity."

She looked down away from the world which was now only three quarters in phase as it was practically looming on top of them and casting a respectable amount of light onto the dark landscape. Looking down into the sands she wished she could speak to someone at that very moment of what was going on inside her. But there was only Sokam now and would he understand?

"_T'Sai _Maya, I wish to tell you that I am very unfamiliar with Terran ways and customs."

She looked up at him and found herself staring into very intense almost copper-colored eyes. And he was trying to tell her something. There was a storm growing within her and she was starting to blame that non-moon in the sky for it. But she did find this man very attractive. It went against everything she'd learned and was already established in her mind. Every man that had ever been close to her in the past had hurt her deeply. And a male she was not close to had hurt her in one of the worst ways possible. The last thing she wanted to do was become emotionally attached to a Vulcan who was perhaps not even interested in her. Was she imagining things about Sokam? Was he interested in her at all? "And I am not familiar with Vulcan ways or customs," she admitted.  
"I will teach you," he immediately offered in an almost solitary voice.

It struck a chord within her and she found herself looking away from him, quickly. Why was he so…beautiful? "Do you believe the warlord lost his mind because of the evils he committed? Do you believe the Watcher and her all-seeing Eye caused him to lose his empire?"

"In defense of logical thought, I believe Warlord Poraneth'kar's behavior marked him among the annals of the mentally unstable. The actions he committed only pushed him further into the void of mental illness. I also do believe the appearance of the Watcher on the anniversary of his greatest crime became something of a mirror held up to the actions of his past. And even he could not take what he saw reflected therein."

Did this man have any idea how romantic he truly was to even be having this conversation? She suspected he didn't. But she couldn't let herself get tied up in him. No. Absolutely not. "Why are you here?"

"I wish to make amends for my words and actions earlier. I am not truly aware of how to do that in the context of your culture. I only wished for you to know that it was not my intention to cause your anger or discomfort earlier."

She looked up at him. "No one tells me what to do," she threw down the gauntlet with a challenge in her eyes.

He found her intensity fascinating, arousing. He hadn't expected this reaction within himself so soon. "_T'Sai,_ believe me when I tell you, anything I do is motivated by my protection of you, to ensure you remain safe here among my people."

"I can take care of myself."

"Pardon me, but you are unfamiliar with Vulcan ways and customs, you have already admitted this to me less than four minutes ago," he said, his face unyielding.

She looked away from him, now growing hostile to his presence. She wouldn't let this man get under her skin. She couldn't.

"I will leave you for now. But contemplate my words. I will protect you from all that may try to befall you, _T'Sai_. And I will be here when you decide I am needed by you."

Did he realize what he was saying to her? She looked up to find him staring down into her eyes. The intensity in them could not be mistaken. _Was_ she imagining things? Did this Vulcan…desire her? It could not be possible. But his eyes turned to liquid copper as she watched and devoured not just her eyes, but her face. She was still in disbelief.

He could feel her uncertainty. She was only beginning to suspect his intentions toward her. And she still did not believe them. "I am forever your servant,_ T'Sai_," he said as he held eye contact with her, still uncertain of exactly how to make his wishes known to her. "I ask now, under the Watcher, always remember I am never far from you."

She held it together long enough for him to stand and walk away from her. As soon as she was certain he was gone, Maya found herself gasping as tears of pain freely flowed down her face. His words would follow her into her dreams demanding she rethink her choices and future. She hugged herself as the cold of the desert stole into her body.

####

Sarek brought Amanda to their bedchamber. The night was chill and he had preemptively lit a fire in the fireplace ahead of time. "We will speak now," he said to her.

She sat on their bed and agreed, "Yes, we will."

He made certain to keep away from her, knowing she probably didn't want him touching her now of all times. "I was in error."

"So was I," she admitted.

He seemed taken aback. "In what way do you mean?"

"I wasn't fair to you. You did what you could and-" Her words faltered. "- I saw it as not enough. But really I should have remembered that just because it's your planet it doesn't mean you have control over everything that happens here. It would be like you becoming irritated with me because my Emperor is a jerk to the populations he rules. It doesn't matter what I say to my emperor about what he does, he's not going to listen to _me_." She nodded. "I apologize for becoming so angry with you. Really I was just angry at the situation and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

He hadn't expected her to apologize to him. "Amanda, I accept every part of you, your anger, rational or irrational. And I wish to make a vow to you from this day forward."

"Vow?"

"I vow to do all I can to change this wayward situation. My people have put themselves on the wrong track in the way they have dealt with this. I am certain that, as you mentioned, if we truly put our minds to the situation there may be other ways to handle this instead of what we have allowed ourselves to come to rely on, the victimization of innocents who do not deserve what is being meted out to them."

She found herself tearing up. He understood! And he was going to try his best to do something about it. "Thank you, Sarek," she said as she stood and went to him. "Thank you."

"Amanda," he whispered into her hair as he pulled her to him and breathed her in. He would do anything to keep her. "In light of this decision, you must accept certain things about my nature."

"What does that mean?" she asked with questioning eyes.

"You asked me through the bond if I would ever kill."

"And you said not without provocation," she remembered.

"I think it only right that you understand I fully meant what I said."

"But Syrranites-"

"Syrranite or not, I will do what it takes to defend my family, Amanda. And right now that is you."

"But why are we discussing this now?"

"Because I am about to go against the status quo and see about implementing changes. The prisoners serve, primarily, the sons of the High Command and those considered not expendable to our society. Regular Vulcans, they are the ones whose sons are more likely to go without a mate and therefore die. Because of the position of T'Pau, I would have been eligible for a captive female in my time of need. But men like Zurel- even Sokam, because he is not closely related enough to T'Pau- they will certainly die when their time comes if there is nothing to prevent it. I threaten that safety net for the sons and grandsons of the highly established and they will seek to harm those that belong to me and right now the closest thing to me is you."

"Sarek, I didn't realize-"

"You were correct. The system is unjust toward Terran females and in addition to that it bars the common man from obtaining a mate. Most of the common men, in fact, would be more likely to keep these Terran females as permanent wives. It would have been more just to give the females to _them_ than the sons and relatives of the members of the High Council who, as you said, were willing to use them but then discard them once that need was dispensed."

She found herself plopping onto their bed again, exasperated. "But to kill-"

"It is a harsh galaxy. The Empire swallows up all decency in its path. It would appear my people have been consumed by the machine. And it is a disgrace, the way we have left our honor by the wayside. But I, too, must adapt to all eventualities that are a result of my actions and one of them is to kill. I will kill to protect you. To ask me not to is to ask me to go against my nature as a Vulcan."

"Your nature as a Vulcan?" she asked, confused. "You are logical," Amanda reminded him. "_That_ is your nature."

"No," he nodded as he grabbed her close to him by taking her shoulders into his hands, trying to make her understand. "That is not my nature. That is a set of outer vestments I must wear and cultivate daily, hourly, by the minute. But in actuality, underneath it, I am a primal individual with an inexplicable drive to keep what I have by any means necessary. I _will_ kill to keep you," he said with a fire in his eyes.

She wondered if his assessment of the situation, from the fact that she may be threatened, to him having to physically protect her, was as dire as he supposed. "Sarek, are you simply examining this from every angle and this is one of the possibilities you've come up with?"

"Yes. I only wished for you to be prepared for all outcomes."

She nodded. "Then if I help you maybe the two of us can come up with a way that the Council doesn't need to feel threatened."

He couldn't see where she was coming from with that line of thinking, but he decided if she wished to help it was only logical. These were her people being mistreated they were considering, after all. "That would be logical."

With that said, Amanda seized on an emotion she'd sensed in him and decided to try it out. "But honestly, Sarek, if someone tried to take me from you-" she began by goading him on purpose.

His hands were on her shoulders still and began to gently squeeze as they thought of that scenario. "Amanda," he warned.

She felt a burst of _possessiveness/rage _through their bond. She also began to feel a flood of arousal in herself. That was not an expected reaction on her part. She'd only meant to tease him lightly, but this was beginning to look very interesting. "Took me away to keep for themselves," she said, eyes trying to appear innocent as her arousal level grew. She was sitting on their bed still, his hands still holding her by the shoulders. He pulled her up by the shoulders until she was up on her knees facing him, closer to his chest. She felt the strain of control in him, hanging on by a thread.

His forehead went to hers gently as he tried to hold onto his senses and his jaw was clenching in restrained anger. "You are toying with that which you do not understand," he warned. The sensation of dark clouds forming was in his mind. It was crowding out his intellect and gumming up his thought processes. He knew it was only a game, but still…

"I simply want to be clear on this," she said, still playing at innocence as her eyes looked up into his and her finger trailed the outline of his jaw and chin. "If that happened, would you come after me? Or would you simply shrug and go on with your life? Maybe go back to Terra Prime, find another wife?"

There was a low growl forming in his chest at her words which struck something deep within him. "No," he said as his eyes flashed and he fought to keep his hands solely at her shoulders. That thread of control was one snip away from being gone.

She saw that tactic didn't work. Smiling slyly, she thought of a different way of goading him. "Or if I told you I found another man more appealing than-"

She never finished _that_ sentence and the lone thread of remaining control snapped. The low growl became a roar as her robes were, effectively, ripped from her body as he pulled at the collar region and wrenched them downward. His breath was caught in his chest as he realized his very ladylike wife was barely clothed underneath said robes the entire day. His arousal point was worse than at the point of no return, it was in overdrive and he found himself sinking his teeth into the side of her neck close to her collar and sucking. He heard her cries, within the meld and from her mouth, not of horror, but of desire and that drove him into a frenzy of near insanity as he grabbed her body and almost roughly threw her to the ground directly in front of the fireplace.

His robes were ripped from himself just as easily and she was gasping in delight as he ripped his trousers from his body in an almost stripper-like fashion. Except she knew those pants were not equipped with Velcro tabs. This Vulcan had shredded up a pair of the real thing that happened to be well made and probably double reinforced in their stitching. The fact that he was able to do that caused her desire to reach top notch and she was not surprised to discover she was more than ready for him.

He was driving himself into her as he belatedly realized this was exactly what she'd wanted from him. Their lovemaking the night before had been intense, but still tame. But tonight she'd goaded him by thoughts of another taking her from him and perhaps her finding another more desirable in his place.

The thought that no other would ever be allowed to touch- _nor even come near her with the intent to touch her_, was paramount in his mind as he ravaged his wife mercilessly. Their cries of pleasure mingled causing their arousal to mount to a mutual explosive climax as she gasped and he roared again. She was gasping and sweating, amazed at how easily his fuse had gone up when lit with the correct match.

He returned to his senses and then looked down at his wife. "You are unharmed, Amanda?" he whispered, concerned with how roughly he'd taken her.

"Mmm," she answered with satisfaction, the fires of arousal doused in her eyes. "I won't break, you know," she teased as she hugged his body to hers. She was met by his mouth practically crashing down onto hers and claiming it in a lavish deep kiss that expressed emotions he would never speak.

His forehead then rested against hers as his jaw clenched with restrained anger. "Never push me that way again, Amanda," he warned.

In the back of the bond she could feel the shadow of insecurity. "Do all Vulcan men possess-"

"Yes, we do." He rolled so she lay on his chest.

She inhaled the scent of him and ran her hands over his body. He was hers. She still hardly believed it. "I love you," she found herself whispering. She was answered by his arms locking around her even tighter, pulling her in closer to him.


	16. Need

Need

"I need a job!" exploded Mariana as she dressed for another job hunt.

"Me too," said Dana as she walked into her housemate's room already dressed for the day.

"You got a job!"

"I've got an internship. That is not a job. I'm not getting paid."

"My point is it will probably lead to a _real_ job."

"What are you so eager to reenter the workforce for anyway?" asked Dana as she plopped down onto Mariana's bed.

"I need credits."

"Don't we all?" laughed Dana.

Mariana sat down next to her and sighed. "I'm so disgusted with myself. Do you know how I wound up in jail for Thought Crime?"

"No, what?"

"I have a big mouth. I've always had a big mouth. I told a joke about the Emperor and the wrong person overheard it."

"A joke? Was it at least funny?"

"It was just a passing comment about his visiting the queens of Emaratus III and how no one could possibly be more of a queen than _he_ is."

Dana was inordinately glad that she didn't happen to be drinking or eating anything at that moment. She couldn't breathe she was laughing so hard.

"You know that baby was _not_ conceived the old-fashioned way," continued Mariana with an evil smile. "And the empress always looks so mad. Like 'Moo! Somebody squeeze my udders!'"

"Stop, stop!" Dana screamed with laughter.

"I mean think about it!" She stood up and imitated the flamboyant gestures of their Emperor. "I love you _ALL_," she said in her best imitation of a high-pitched male voice as she did a supermodel walk, kissed her hand and then threw it out to an invisible crowd. Barely holding in laughter she then began to do a booty-dance complete with shivering legs and her butt in the air. And they both laughed even harder at that.

"Would you two shut-up! I'm trying to sleep!" Cassie yelled from next door.

The two looked at one another while they tried to stop laughing, but they both snorted and the laughter was on again, even worse than before.

####

**A Day Later**

Sarek heard a knock on his study door. He knew it was none other than Maya. "Enter."

She opened the door and walked in and he noticed she still did not wear the robes of his house. He should have spoken to her much sooner than now. It had been a few days since the young ladies had entered his compound and Maya was noticeably unsure of her place in it. "You may shut the door," he instructed.

She did so and then sat opposite his desk. "You called me, sir?" she asked.

"Simply Sarek will do fine." He didn't know where to begin. He wished to be as delicate with this subject as possible. And of course Amanda was watching him like a hawk through their bond to ensure he handled her friend delicately. "Amanda tells me you are full of trepidation about wearing the standard of my house."

Maya shrugged. "I just don't understand what it means and why I should do it, that's all. I think I should know what I'm doing before I do anything. What would it mean to wear the robes of this world with your clan and house standard on it? And why don't the other girls have to do it?"

"Those are indeed very logical points about obtaining information about a thing before proceeding to do it. And your questions are not without merit," he admitted.

He was much more understanding than Sokam had been about the subject. She relaxed. At least it seemed he was willing to discuss it. "I have some other questions, but I guess we can one-at-a-time it."

He was already quite fond of Maya. She was a careful girl and when it came to her future it was obvious she was serious about being careful. Her sense of humor fluctuated, sometimes subtle, sometimes over the top. How she would function in his society since she seemed to use humor as a shield against the outside world perplexed him. But there was one thing that honestly troubled him. "I will speak plainly with you, Maya. I ask that you do not become upset with what I may say."

_What are you about to say?_ Amanda piped in through the bond.

She knew what was coming and her shoulders slumped. "Go ahead."

He was careful in the choosing of his words since he did not want to incur the wrath of his wife. "The other young ladies are not required to wear the standard of my house because they are not my ward. Amanda wears the standard because she is my wife and a member of my house. You must be protected in every way possible. You know to what I am referring, do you not?"

She swallowed and looked down almost shame-faced. "I guess."

"Initially you were pronounced my ward because at the time you were the only one in custody with Amanda. And now it is crucial to your survival here. It must be said, Maya, there is no shame in being a telepath."

"It is if you're Terran."

He paused and asked carefully, "Are you entirely certain you are full Terran?"

She still wouldn't look back up at him. "Mr. Sarek-"

"Sarek."

"Sarek, I would guess if I weren't it would have been discovered by now."

"Not if whatever it is in your gene pool is so diluted it is undetectable to one who does not know what to look for. If you were never examined by a geneticist it is only natural that it was not discovered."

She finally looked up at him, still confused. "All right, I'm no doctor so I guess that makes sense. But how come I'm not allowed to job-hunt yet? And why is a Healer coming to see me today and no one else? Does it have to do with my…abilities?"

She was uncomfortable with that part of herself. She'd simply resigned herself to live with it, he sensed. For some reason that more than deeply troubled him. "Maya, you cannot go out into the public at large, especially around Vulcan males, without a mind shield. You would be detected. It only takes one male to drop his shield and discover what you are. This appears to have already happened with Sokam. You would be swamped with desperate males. And not all of them would have honorable intentions."

"Why are they so desperate? Does it have to do with that horrible attack a few years ago and all of those poor women that died from it?" she asked. She took it back immediately, "I'm sorry, I don't even know if that was rude to ask. This is your planet's business and I have no idea how I should behave here or even what I should say." She wanted to hit herself in the head.

He nodded. "No. Now you are here and you must learn to more than survive. And due to your abilities these are things you must know. We have what can only be called a wife shortage."

"Oh," she said simply. Then she thought about it some more. "Oh," she said deeply. Then she realized, "Ooooh, wait a minute. Is my walking around like this some kind of come-on to every Vulcan male I encounter?" She was openly alarmed.

"Unfortunately, that is the way it could be construed."

She thought of Sokam and her face flamed up. "I'm so embarrassed," she whispered. "Zurel and yourself and Sokam… Oh god."

"Do not be concerned. I am aware of your true intentions. And Zurel has lived on Terra Prime for many years and is quite comfortable with Terran females. He is quite understanding of your situation."

"And Sokam?"

He thought of his cousin. He was obviously moved by Maya on a deeper level. He noticed his younger family member was working hard to stay clear of the young woman since that night the two of them watched their sister planet rising in the night sky. "Sokam will deal with whatever happens. There is much that must be undertaken with your education, not only having to do with the tempering and control of your abilities."

In truth, he was resistant to the idea of someone such as Sokam joining with Maya. He was unsure of the young man's intentions concerning his ward and some part of him was concerned that Sokam, if his passions ever became unrestrained, might hurt the young woman. He was unsure whether or not his cousin was ready to bond and share his life with another. It would make him rest easier if Maya were with a Syrranite that had been born to that way of life and not introduced to it when already an adult.

_You, sir, are biased!_ Amanda accused him.

_You simply do not understand-_

_We will talk about this later!_ Amanda flashed at him through their bond.

The Healer arrived shortly thereafter, examined Maya and took a sample of her blood. After the young woman left the room, the Healer asked Sarek, "Would the young woman be open to meeting the son of my brother? He is currently without a bond mate and-"

"No," Sarek immediately shut down the line of enquiry. "The young lady is not yet ready for such a thing."

He was accepting of the answer he received and moved on. "A geneticist will return tomorrow with the results."

"I request a female geneticist handle Maya's case," said Sarek.

"If you wish," said the Healer. "And what of a Master to teach her the proper techniques to control her abilities?"

"I will engage Sokam's former Master, if at all possible," said Sarek.

"A wise choice," said the Healer as he left the residence.

####

Cassie felt as if she couldn't take one more day of this limbo. It was already the end of their first week here. Dana had already gotten an internship and Mariana had just called home all excited to have found some crappy job that day bussing tables at a Terran eatery on the edge of the city. The stupid cow was actually happy about it! She said she was willing to stand it until she found something more serious, but in the meantime it would provide credits.

The angry young woman rolled over in bed, still in the same pajamas from the beginning of the week. She didn't want to do this anymore! She hated this place. The hellishly hot days, the freezing cold nights, the unnatural red sun, that damnable moon in the sky that looked like every night it got progressively closer and was about to freaking fall out of the sky and crush her. And everyone had the _nerve_ to act as if they were so very happy, so damned content, so damned _grateful _to that ambassador. What the hell were they so grateful for? He hadn't given them any real money or done anything for them since springing them! All they had was food, a place to live and stuff to wear, that's all. Oh, so what, he provided little extras like furniture, soap and transportation. Big whoop!

Cassie wanted her old life back. She wanted the servants and the closets full of clothing and the association of quality society people. She wanted perfume worth 2,000 credits a bottle and expensive wines aged in excess of fifteen or more years. To be surrounded by Common Terrans and damned aliens, how her life had freaking sunk!

The guest house was empty. She got up and made her way to the cheap computer console provided for them. She wasn't taking this substandard bullshit for long. She had some calls to make.

On the second beep, someone picked up on the other line and the viewscreen attached to the computer engaged. "Daddy?" she asked as her father came into view.

"What are you doing calling here?" asked her outraged father. "You're disowned. You don't exist to me anymore."

"But daddy, what if I got the charges cleared on my name?"

"There's only one way you're doing that, little girl. You have to go to the authorities and tell them where their property is at. Those books are supposed to be destroyed."

"But I don't know where they're at!" she wailed.

"Well then that's too bad. I don't know how you got access to a viewscreen caller in jail, but you'd better cut the connection before you're caught."

"I'm out daddy! Amanda's friend got us out and now I'm here and I'm free! Can I come home, now?"

"You know you're not allowed back on Terra Prime so long as you have the sentence of 'Thought Crime' on you! Be grateful you got out and build another life there."

"But I want to go home! And I don't know where the books are! They were given to some other people and they took them someplace else."

"Well then give their names over and maybe then you'll have your name cleared. Until then, don't call here again." And he cut the connection.

Cassie's eyes had tears running from them as she hung up on her end. She sniffled. All she had to do was give the authorities a lead to where the books were at. That's all she had to do and then she could get her old life back. That's all she had to do... The only problem was Dana was the last to handle them. Her cousin was the contact to whoever they'd been handed over to.

####

Amanda screamed in triumph. She had lined up an interview with a small private school for Terran children living on Vulcan. Apart of its curriculum was the study of the Vulcan language. They wanted a Terran teacher, however, to teach the Terran students. Apart of the benefits of her marrying Sarek was her record was expunged. Her arrest and small amount of jail time would never haunt her and she was able to retain her teaching license.

"Sarek!" she said as she stood and ran from the library containing the computer interface console, up the hallway, out of that section of the house, through the Common Room and into their part of the home. "Sarek!"

"What is it, Amanda?" he asked, alarmed.

"I've got an interview at a school, a Terran private school. They need a teacher to teach the students how to speak the Vulcan language! I applied and they approved me for an interview. Isn't that exciting?"

"Nothing untoward has happened?" he asked, making certain all was normal.

"No! I might be able to get employment after all, isn't that exciting?"

Human exuberance continually fascinated him. "You have not yet secured employment," he said with a warning in his voice. "It is not logical to rejoice over an event that is not yet assured."

She laughed and tapped his chest. "Well I am going to ace that interview and get that job!" she said positively.

"And I have news for you," he said. "However, I will need your help."

"Oh, when?"

"Your interview, when is it?"

"It's not until the beginning of next week."

"That is fine. I have begun a proposal to submit to the Vulcan Council. If we must help our men, why do we not petition the Deltans as one way to help us?"

Amanda stood there and simply blinked. The Deltans. Sex maniacs. A ménage-a-trios to the third power wouldn't bat their eyelashes. If anyone could handle a couple hundred men in Pon Farr on a regular basis and be discreet enough to keep their mouths shut about it, they could. "That's quite a starter plan," she said with a nod.

"That along with several other ideas have presented themselves to me after deep meditation."

"I think I might have one or two," said Amanda.

"That is admirable. Present your ideas to me in a report."

She found herself giggling. Everything came down to reports with diplomats. "In the meantime, I want to talk about your bias against Sokam."

Sarek audibly sighed. "You do not understand, Amanda."

"All right," she said as she sat down opposite him. "Make me understand."

Sarek gathered his thoughts and then began. "From his youth he studied being a Syrranite from afar. But he is not born to our way. He has had to work twice as hard. He is accepted now in our society but he still has not proven himself."

"I think that should show the depth of his sincerity, the fact that he wants to control himself so stringently and he _does_. Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

"It is a positive step, Amanda. But at the same time there is something that lurks within him wanting to hurt others."

"I don't see the difference between the way he is and the way that you are."

"The primitive nature of Vulcans is dark and unpleasant. He is much closer to that than I am."

Amanda nodded. "Just the other night you told me yourself you would kill to keep me. Even the thought of another coming to take me away from you-"

He found his body stiffening as his jaw clenched.

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" she pointed out. "What difference is there between yourself and him?"

"Maya should feel safe in any relationship she decides to enter," he said as the tension left his body.

"And that's the key word, Sarek. 'Decide'. _She_ should decide."

He couldn't dispute those words. "I agree. And fortunately she seems to be refraining from associating with him."

Amanda snorted in laughter. "For now."

His brows knitted. "What is the meaning of this expression in connection to the two of them, 'for now'?"

His wife gave him a smile full of wisdom beyond her years. "I know Maya, remember? And I see something in her when she looks at him. I see something I've never seen in her before. She's going to fight the thought of him hard, but in the end even I can see he has something she needs. I hope she's smart enough to take it. And if what you say is true about him, he needs what she has to give. And I hope you're merciful enough to not stand in the way of it."

He thought for a few seconds. Something presented itself. "Give me a promise, Amanda."

She looked at him seriously wondering what was about to come out of his mouth. "That depends."

Sarek found himself amused by the mistrustful expression on her face. She felt his amusement through the bond. "Simply one thing so that Maya will not be caught unaware. If it seems to you that her nature changes toward him, please speak with her about our biological drive and what it means."

Amanda saw a double meaning there. "You think it will scare Maya off!" she accused. Sarek did not confirm or deny her words. "That could backfire, Sarek. She could decide to never go the Vulcan route for a husband after that."

He already knew that, but confirmed the only thing he was sure of. "She must be told at some point if she decides to marry a Vulcan, Amanda. And she's a Terran telepath. I don't foresee her marrying another Terran."

Amanda was pissed off with him. "Pain in the neck!" declared his wife quite violently. She couldn't help but laugh when he hurriedly rushed to her and began kneading the muscles of her neck.


	17. Preliminaries

Preliminaries

Sarek had several meetings scheduled for that day and all of them had to do with the Terran female prison situation. He did not know how far he was going to get in this endeavor, but he had made a solemn vow to Amanda and he would fulfill it thoroughly to the best of his abilities.

In the meantime, the female Healer that was also a geneticist was sitting before him with the results of the samples and tests run on Maya. Her name was T'Niye and she was quite advanced in age. And he knew Maya would not at all be happy about what this woman was telling him now.

"The young woman is predominantly Terran."

"Predominantly?"

"When I began my preliminary tests on the samples taken from her, on the surface she appears exactly as what she is. A young Terran female. But upon deeper examination, her genetic code has unidentified markers. Any physician who made a cursory exam of her code could not have found these markers without knowing what they needed to see. In truth, it was also what I did _not_ see in her code that was an indicator to the young woman's origins."

Sarek nearly frowned. "Your findings?"

"The young woman is three quarters Terran, one quarter unknown."

"Unknown?"

"There are yet many races in the galaxy that have not been cataloged and still more that have not been discovered. One of her parents was half Terran and half something currently unknown to us. I have been studying the parts of her code that have proven unfamiliar and the race seems to be quite fluid in nature, able to mate with anyone they encounter."

Sarek was not a geneticist. "What does this mean for her?"

"There is a 25% probability that she will be entirely able to reproduce with a non-Terran without genetic interference. At this point in time, however, you have indicated that is not a concern. The only true complication comes from her telepathic abilities, those she is aware of and the still untapped potential that lies dormant. She must learn to control the abilities that have already manifested themselves. But the only other thing there is a true danger of is the Empire finding out about her. Certain genes in her code happen to have fascinating properties. She cannot be allowed to fall into their hands. They would harvest her tissues, blood and spinal fluid on a continual basis. She would live a half life in a lab never to be seen again. I cannot even ascertain her true life span, but it is well beyond that of the average Terran. I have already taken the liberty of destroying her samples, every one of them. I have purged my computers of her test results and destroyed the data collected."

Sarek was grateful for T'Niye's discretion. "The House of Sarek owes you a debt of gratitude," he admitted.

"Has a master been engaged to help her control her gifts?"

"I have sent word to Sokam's Master. I await his answer now."

"I strongly recommend that Maya remain shielded from the Terran world from this moment forward. If she marries one of ours, she will be even more shielded."

Sarek paused. That element was presenting itself yet again. Maya seemed to be destined to be driven toward that one inevitable fact. She would have to bond whether she wished to or not. "I will see what can be done in that regard."

As she stood and made ready to leave, the geneticist said, "Her bond mate could afford her a natural protection. The innate knowledge and experience she would gain simply from being connected to him will enhance any training she obtains on how to wield her gift."

Sarek had honestly not known of this facet of a bond in relation to tempering the gifts of an uncontrolled telepath. Then again, he was not a Healer. "Once again, I owe you my gratitude."  
She nodded. "I ask only one thing. Allow me to attend your wife if you decide to conceive. I have wished very much to assist in the safe birth of a hybrid child."

He would have smiled if he dared but he only nodded. "Your offer is of course accepted," he said as he stood. The geneticist left his home, but he now had to tell Maya. But something told him not to do so at that moment. It could wait.

####

Amanda liked the Terran private school. It sat on a parcel of land that had been landscaped quite vigorously in an attempt to make it appear as Earth-like as possible. The lone three story school sat on three sprawling acres, all of it painstakingly manicured lawns. The area directly around the school was shaded with palm trees and large elms with hanging Spanish moss. English shrubs hedged off a private side garden outside that belonged to the Dean of Students. Impressive Holland tulips were being grown in an agricultural experiment by the students that year in a field behind the school.

She sat in the garden with the Dean of Students and the Principal at the tail end of her interview. "We notice your scholastic career on Terra Prime was quite impressive," said the Dean, a man by the name of Jameson Perkins, average height with a trace of a London accent. "You graduated top of your class from your Alma Mater, have several awards and honors for extraterrestrial language, did a one-year teaching stint in one of the roughest neighborhoods in Chicago and then went on to have a three year internship at the Vulcan Embassy on Terra Prime."

"After your internship you served at a summer initiative for an experimental educational program for Sons of the Empire," said the principal, a man named Abram Vesean. He was tall and wiry, graying.

"It was a favor to my father," admitted Amanda, truly thinking of him for the first time in a while.

"Your father," said the dean, catching on. "Your father!" His eyes widened. "Would your father happen to be _the_ General Grayson of the Imperial Fleet?"

Amanda wanted to crawl under a chair. "I didn't mean to drop names, Dean Perkins."

"Indeed, you did not," he said, beaming with pride. "What is a woman like you doing on this godforsaken hot planet?"

She felt her face flushing red. Not with shame, but with anger. "I live here with my husband."

"Is he stationed here?" asked Principal Vesean. "The imperial fleet doesn't maintain a very large presence here."  
"He was born here," she said.

"Well there aren't that many-" and Dean Perkins' words trailed off. Prior to five years before, there had been no Terran births on Vulcan. So her husband had to be… "Oh, I see."

Amanda nodded her head, not believing she actually thought she'd had a chance at getting this teaching position. "I guess I won't waste anymore of your time," she said as she stood to leave.

"Please, please Miss Grayson, sit down," said Mr. Vesean. They both looked semi-apologetic. She sighed and sat back down.

"Now, are you actually _legally_ married?" asked Perkins.

She nodded her head in disgust. "I guess in the eyes of the Empire, no; according to Vulcan law, yes."

Vesean asked, "Would you please excuse us for one second, Miss Grayson?" He and Perkins stood up and walked off to the side together and were conferring for what felt like forever. It was only four minutes, but still, it rankled her nerves.

They came back and Vesean was smiling. "Since you haven't had a Terran ceremony, you haven't technically broken the law. So long as you do not encourage this subversive behavior among the students, we would be honored to have someone with your promising qualifications and high Terran family standing."

Amanda sat there as each word hit her like a blow to the psyche. "I'm having difficulty understanding your position," said Amanda. "You want the students to learn to speak Vulcan but you don't-"

"Consider what you're doing to yourself, Miss Grayson," advised Perkins. "What do we really know about _them_, their way of life? They pretend they don't feel anything and the ones that do show some feeling want nothing to do with us. And according to our projections, these V'Tosh types are being swallowed up slowly but surely and they'll be only a third of the planet in the next twenty years. The entire planet is slowly turning to the Syrranite faction. Some go over to _them_ but statistically they always return to their Syrranite roots. But the V'Tosh who turn to the Syrranite side never go back."

"I don't understand what that has to do with the Empire," said Amanda.

"Because these Syrranites don't show _anything_!" said Vesean. "The poker faces on them are impeccable. What do they _really_ have planned? And they're telepaths! Who knows what they do to the V'Tosh's who convert to them that makes them stay? How do you know you married him, according to their ways, because you really wanted to? How do you know he hasn't gone into your mind and manipulated you? No, Miss Grayson, do yourself a greater service and while you can still get away run from this alien influence."

"So why bother learning to speak their language and learn anything about them if you mistrust them so much?" She was exasperated.

"More of these Syrranites may join the imperial fleet. There are very few in it now, but they are some of the best warriors anyone has ever seen. If they wanted to take over, with the right moves, they could. We need to know what they're really saying to one another behind closed doors, if you insist on staying with him. It should be an honor to you! You could prevent your empire from being toppled by helping your own learn the machinations of these Vulcans from the inside."

"Machinations? Do you honestly believe they're even interested in taking over? Why would they want to?"

"Is your husband a Syrranite?" asked the Principal.

"Yes, he is. But do you honestly believe he married me for…for what?"

They both gave her a 'you're so naïve' look and she suddenly understood that it was time for her to get out of there. She stood quickly and went to leave via the door she'd entered. She was tugging and tugging, but the door wouldn't open. It registered in her mind belatedly that it was locked. She looked back at the two men. "Fine! Interview over, I'm going home."

"Miss Grayson, perhaps you'd better stay awhile," said Perkins from where he stood.

"Let a doctor check you out, make sure your mind is still yours," added Vesean. "Marrying the daughter of a great general is one of many ways power can usually be taken in any empire."

Amanda frowned, looked up and saw the shuttle being flown directly overhead, waiting for her signal. She moved to the far end of the garden. They believed she had nowhere to go so they didn't bother to pursue her. She removed a communicator from her pocket and said, "Shin. I'm ready."

Both men still looked surprised as she replaced the unit and was then beamed up directly from the spot.

####

Sarek's meeting with the current head of the Vulcan Science Academy was proving to be very fruitful. Demek had been one of the loudest protesters to the Joint High Command's decision to take on the Terran female prisoners for usage on their desperate males. The two of them, together, were coming up with a strategy to alleviate their situation without the use of the female prisoners. But they knew they needed more allies.

"What of Syrranite High Command's Silnec? He was one of the most vocal dissenters on the council; he, Sugarna and Tethlo were outvoted."

"And do not forget," said Sarek, "T'Reema, head of the Mining Commission. She insisted our honor was at stake."

"Also, there was the sole dissenter on the V'Tosh Ka'tur side, Councilman Athlen."

Sarek nodded. He had known Athlen very well. "Athlen did not agree with the final decision by the Joint Council. He was widowed at the time, his wife having been a casualty of the attack, and he was quite close to his own Time. And still, the council did not listen to his words."

Athlen had been sincere. "Either marry these female Terrans and live with honor or refuse to partake of this disgusting practice and die with honor," he had declared with fierce passion. Sarek did not care for the showing of emotion, but that one V'Tosh K'tur held more honor than the Syrranites that had agreed with this folly and gone along with it.

Athlen spent the last two years of his life learning to control his emotions in the Syrranite way and then approximately three months before his Time he took his own life with his Honor Blade. He was over one hundred fifty years of age and there was one Vulcan female available to his house who had only just reached the age of seventeen. It was down to either he or his son, and his son's Pon Farr, at that point, was in very close sync with his father's. He'd given his life and directed that the young woman was to be presented to his son so that he would live and his line would go on. Sarek had only just gotten word of that two months before. Not two weeks later, Amanda was standing before him in his office wearing prison blues. That was, as the Terrans would remark, the final straw in his decision to make her his wife. His mind had often strayed to thoughts of Amanda since the day she'd left his office at the end of her internship. But he didn't know his true intentions until he saw her name on that prison list. And suddenly everything became clear.

"Let us present this as a project in his name," Demek broke into his thoughts. "It was also his wish that we find a way back to true honor."

Sarek nodded. "He was indeed a representative of true honor."

####

Cassie took a deep breath and went into Dana's room. She had asked her cousin earlier in casual conversation who she had given the banned books to. But she claimed she didn't know, she'd put the books into a prearranged drop box. She said her contacts were not known to her by name or face. Cassie didn't believe her one bit.

Once her cousin and Maya's low class friend Mariana left the guest house for their jobs, internship, whatever it was, she went into Dana's room and carefully searched through the few possessions she contained. She searched repeatedly, over and over, but found nothing.

She sat down and began to cry. She was never getting out of this awful, hot, dry place! Then she had another bright idea.

Getting onto the computer console again, she almost placed a call but then thought better of it. No. She should wait. That could be tracked here. She decided she would take care of it the next day. She would make it seem as if she were also getting on the job hunt bandwagon, find a terminal and put in her call. Where she needed to call, it was always free. They never passed up on information.


	18. Hesitation

_This story is falling out of my hands. I've never written anything this quickly. But these characters are all yelling at me about what they want to do next!_

Hesitation

Maya found out from Sarek that afternoon that Sokam's mentor might be unavailable for as long as three months. Three months of no job? Hell no! She'd graduated less than three months before with a double major in Galactic History and Egyptology. It had been an Achilles tendon for her to have the double major, because instead of graduating in four years, it took her five. It also hadn't helped that she'd had to work to put herself through school and as a result she'd begun college a year later than everyone else trying to save money. She felt like she was losing time the more she didn't attend to her future goals. So she went to Zurel and asked if he could help teach her how to institute a mind shield.

"I am truly sorry, _T'Sai_ Maya," he informed her. "But you and I happen to be on opposite spectrums natural to both our peoples."

"What does that mean?" she asked, confused.

"I am nearly psi-null. That means I have barely any telepathic abilities. And you are Terran and are supposed to have no abilities but you do. We are astounding opposites of a coin in a universal mathematical probability that is dizzying to consider," he said contemplatively.

Maya tried not to grin. "Would you and your probabilities like to be alone right now, Zurel? Need some privacy?"

He knew a joke when he heard one and if he could have, he would have laughed. He understood why Sokam was so intent on attaining the young woman. That gave him an idea. "Perhaps…"

"Yes?" she asked, taking the bait.

He turned his head to the side as if in deep thought. "Sokam studied with a master for quite sometime and he is a strong telepath. Perhaps he could help you."

For so many reasons Sokam was the last man she wanted to see. He was distractingly attractive to her. And she was unsure of his intentions toward her. She knew he certainly did not mean her any harm; to the contrary, she believed him when he said he wished only to protect her. When he looked at her sometimes she could swear there was something going on inside of him for her. But his control was so impeccable she couldn't be sure. Then she often wondered, in connection with him, what it would be like to- She wanted to slap herself for even beginning that thought and didn't finish it. "I'll think about that," she said to Zurel and then left.

####

Sarek paused. He gathered his thoughts and then put in his call. The viewscreen activated and the face of a familiar aide was before him. "T'Lan," he greeted her with his hand in the ta'al. "Live long and prosper. I wish to speak with T'Pau."

"Hold," said the woman as the viewscreen deactivated.

Within five seconds, the screen reactivated and on it was the face of his elder clanswoman. "Sarek," she greeted, hand in the traditional greeting. "Live long and prosper."

"Peace and long life to you, honored one."

"Peace is relative," she said. "And it is yet to be seen how long my life shall be. However I have heard a most disturbing report about your latest actions."

He knew it would come down to this but he was ready for it. "To which action do you refer?" he said, taking the bull by the horns.

"There is more than the one?" she asked.

"Yes," he admitted up front.

"Then we will first address the news of your newly acquired Terran wife," said T'Pau.

"Or we shall not," said Sarek, not budging.

"There was a Vulcan woman being held in waiting for you. You were already in possession of that confidential information and yet you married…her."

"I did, yes," said Sarek.

"Your actions were not logical."

"My actions are my concern."

"To lower yourself to this extent was not necessary."

"My—Actions—Are—My—Concern-" he said even slower and more precisely. "That is not the reason for which I have called you today."

She seemed to be contemplating whether or not she would even continue the conversation after this young upstart of a kinsman had shut down her line of enquiry. Just the barest hint of her eyes squinting came through. "What have you called to say in your impertinence?" she asked.

"It is to open a dialogue concerning the fall into dishonor Vulcan has made."

"Dishonor?" she asked, actually incredulous. "This one has called to speak of dishonor after taking a Terran wife into his home?"

"At least I have taken the woman and shall keep her," he said. "That is honor. Holding the Terran females in custody to have them used, to treat them as a trade that we ourselves never engaged in so harshly, that is dishonor."

"What dost thou know of honor or dishonor?" she asked.

"Athlen was a pillar of honor, though V'Tosh Ka'tur. He has put all Syrranites complicit in this farce to shame with his noble actions."

"He ended his life as a Syrranite," she reminded him.

"But he struck out on that path of honor as a V'Tosh Ka'tur," Sarek reminded her. "And I cannot understand how you, a _female_, can guard this depraved practice so fiercely."

"Life must be preserved," she said.

"Not at the expense of the lives of others."

"'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'," she quoted Surak.

"These women are not followers of Surak and they are under no obligation to his way of thinking. T'Pau, what would Surak say of what has transpired here, of what we have become? What would he do?"

She had not expected that question. She thought about it for a few seconds. "Is there an alternative?" she asked.

Finally, the question he had been waiting for. "Perhaps there are several."

"The council may not countenance your meddling," she said.

"You are on the council. I know you did not truly wish to vote this measure in, but it is done. And it can be undone. The damage is already put out into the universe but it can be halted. If we put forth our best effort, ways can be found. We need only try, T'Pau."

She thought about it for five full seconds. "Within three days, I will have your answer. Then you will know whether you will be invited to speak to the council. But beware, Sarek, your ideas will not be taken lightly by over half of the members. They all contain sons, grandsons, nephews that are in need of mates."

"And the Watcher rides the sky these nights," he warned.

"Superstition is not logical."

"Neither are these circumstances," he said. She had grown fatigued of his presence, obviously, because she cut the connection without even a parting salutation. Because she knew, statistically, the chances of insanity became increased when evil actions were done while T'Kuht rode the night skies. Their scientists still did not understand why, but the fact had been well established for many years.

####

The thought of being aimless and jobless for much longer was so oppressive Maya found herself walking straight to Sokam's. She went to knock, but her hand hesitated mid-air. Before she could talk herself out of doing this and walking away, the door swung open and he was standing there, this time in robes himself. Had he been waiting for her?

She'd never seen him dressed 'officially', except these robes were black and looked almost ceremonial in nature. He looked so good to her. "I— I see I've come at a bad time. You're busy, I'll leave."

"You will enter," he almost ordered as he opened his door to her. His eyes held hard and fast to hers and would not let go.

She found herself walking inside and realized this was the one house on the property she had not yet visited. She paid close attention to everything around her. The lighting was subdued. It was sparsely furnished as if he knew he would not be there long. On the one hand it troubled her to think of his leaving but on the other she wondered if it would not be for the best. She suddenly felt his presence just behind her.

"You are here," he said in a low tone. "I was under the impression I was not wanted in your life." She felt guilty for being there. She was glad he was standing behind her. But that didn't last. He came around to the front of her and asked, "Am I needed by you?" It was not said with malice, but with full sincerity, his eyes searching hers.

She'd been so unfair toward him, she knew. But she couldn't let him get close, not any man. "I need to learn a mind shield. I-I want to find employment soon."

He raised his eyebrow.

She tried levity and found herself smiling. "Hey, I'm bored, what do you want?"

It didn't work on him. He knew this nervous habit of hers from Zurel's observations, to joke when she was uncertain of what was happening around her. He held out his hand and motioned for her to precede him further into his living unit. He turned on several lights since the interior was dim. He was then able to see her better than before.

She was wearing another borrowed suit, he could tell, and her hair that day had been left to hang in their long waves. He swallowed back his desire for the time being. Today was the day he would confirm or deny this woman's want of him. And if she wanted him in return he would give her time to come to him. But she _would_ come to him. He would do whatever it took. He knew he was entering dangerous territory, but hadn't _she_ come to _him _this day? He did not truly believe she was there solely to learn a mind shield. Something within her was empty, just as it was true for him, and it was straining toward him. She simply was not aware of it, yet. "Maya, you and I must speak plainly with one another," he began.

She wanted to protest, but really how could she ask him for a favor and not give him a real honest to goodness conversation? "All right," she said. She was already angry with herself. Had her subconscious mind put her intentionally in his path? She didn't know but she was starting to get disturbed with herself and her growing infatuation with the man standing so near her now.

"What is your protest toward me?" he asked, going straight for the jugular.

She hadn't expected him to come out and ask that. "Well am I allowed to sit while I answer that question?" she asked, stalling for time.

He offered her a seat on an almost Terran couch. It had a back to it but was lower sitting than any other couch she'd seen. She sat and he sat almost directly next to her, just out of touch range. For some reason this didn't feel as intimate as it had that night in the sand. It made her relax somewhat. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have any 'protest' toward you."

"You have closed yourself to the prospect of me."

One thing about conversation with a Vulcan, they didn't pull any punches and they looked you right in the eye as they did so. "What prospect are you talking about?" She mistook his non-showing of emotion to be the denial of emotion. In her assumption it did not occur to her that he might be quite familiar with not only his own emotions, but perhaps even hers. And that he would want to do something about it.

"Your mind is attracted to mine, I have felt it. Yet you pretend that fact does not exist."

She was out of her league but figured so long as it stayed tame she could handle this situation. "Sokam, just because someone feels an attraction doesn't mean it has to be acted upon. I thought you of all people would understand that thought." Take that!

His eyebrow rose as he asked, "Are you admitting to the attraction?"

She exhaled heavily and knew she was about to start sweating. "So there_ is_ an attraction between the two of us. But I don't understand why something has to be done about it."

"Because I wish it," he said, not holding it in any longer.

She looked down at her hands and considered the irony of her life. She'd gone so many years in the Terran Empire and not been discovered for what she was. Part of her had been terrified all of her life that they would come in the night and take her away; she would never see her family again and no one would know where she was at.

Now living somewhere where she assumed she would have peace and be safe from those that feared telepaths, she was being pursued by a Vulcan whose attention she'd attracted _because _she was a telepath. She looked closely at him. He contained beautiful eyes and a voice that made her mind stray toward thinking of him half the day. But she couldn't let on… "Sokam, I can't get involved with anyone. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us."

"Because?" he asked as he leaned closer, his arm along the back of the couch they were sitting on. He was looking deeply into her eyes, unflinching, demanding an answer.

It had never occurred to her until now to tell him the truth. All right then, he'd asked for it. "I don't trust men. I haven't for years. Things have…happened to me and I find it difficult to trust. Can you understand that?" she asked him, imploring with her eyes that he drop this subject.

"No, I cannot," he said to both her question and the plea he saw in her eyes. "Perhaps if you showed me-" he said with his hand raised as if to initiate a meld.

She looked at his hand and acknowledged to herself, yes, she did want that. And especially with him. But she would have to trust him to let him do that and that was a commodity she was sorely lacking in. "No."

His hand dropped. "You do not understand, I can help you with the trauma of the past," he offered.

Her brows knitted. "What?"

"Whatever it was, I can go in, help resolve it within your mind. I can even erase it if you should wish it so."

You could have heard a pin drop in the room, it was so silent. The wheels in her mind were turning that thought over, considering possibilities previously unconsidered. "You can do that?" she whispered. "You can heal what happened to me?" She was hooked.

"No," he said. "We must do it together," he admitted. "It will be difficult, but it must be a willing act on your part. But it can be done, yes."

Sitting there with him, her eyes began to fill. She tried to look away from him but found she couldn't. This was not supposed to be happening, not now. But she wouldn't lie to herself. She wanted what he offered. She wanted to not have the nightmares anymore, to want to feel attraction without guilt, to trust again. Then the tears fell.

"Maya," he said as his eyes looked into hers, "I am not without damage in my own way. I suspect you could heal me, as well. It is why you and I should consider a lifetime together."

She stood quickly while wiping her eyes. "I have to go."

"But you have not yet learned the mind shield."

"We can do that tomorrow," she promised as she practically tried to run for the door. He was faster. He was up off of the couch and in front of the door before she could get there. "Sokam!" she plead, exasperated. "I have a right to at least think about your offer first."

He knew she was correct. But an ancient side of him had awakened and was taking over. It was confirmed now, despite the trauma of her past, she wanted him. And as a result he wanted her even more. "I will give you the opportunity to think this over," he said. Then his mental shields dropped. "But I must first impress upon you the depth of that which you cannot understand without experiencing it."

She felt the mind just outside hers, brushing against her walls, asking for entrance. It was so much more erotic than anything she'd ever seen. He was attempting to break her down and it was going to work if he kept it up. "Sokam," she whispered, "please don't do this."

"I only ask for this one thing," his voice was strained. "Simply consider what we could have with one another, what we could become together."

She found herself inhaling and exhaling heavily, a weight sitting on her chest that was preventing proper breathing. The atmosphere of the room was thick and he was standing there before her, the smell of him filling her nostrils. Though they didn't touch physically, she could feel him right there mentally. As she looked up into his eyes, she was sure the deep look of desire in his was the same in her own. She couldn't deny her feelings any longer. He smelled good, felt good to her senses. Some part of her did want this man, wanted to trust him.

He could feel her answering desire and didn't wait for her to hesitate. His mind surged forth and washed over hers. It was not the same as a meld, it was more of an empathic connection. Except with her he didn't need to touch her to make it happen. He found himself reaching out with his physical hands and pulling her to him gently by the waist of her pants, lowering his head, placing his forehead against hers. Her skin was cool and just the feel of it salved something inside him.

She saw into him, saw emotions she never suspected were there. She thought she would find tranquility, calm. But there was a darkness crouched within him, threatening to overtake, a rage. And it wanted her. Not to hurt her, but it wanted her near to soothe it. And something within her responded, wanted to go to that rage, calm it, give it what it needed. A mate.

They stood that way, forehead to forehead, empathic feelings so prolific with need the house might as well have had all the air sucked out of it. Things were different in her mind now concerning him. She was damaged and needed help, but so was he. They both needed so much. It would not be the dreaded case, in her mind, of a woman needing some knight in armor. They both held the key to helping the other.

He whispered to her, his breath warm on her face, "Think of us, the potential of us, what we could be. Do not take overly long. I am liable to pursue you and my rage knows no shame in connection with claiming she who also wishes to be mine."

The part of her that was damaged wanted to leave in a hurry. But the other part of her found it hard to walk away from him.

####

Amanda went home that afternoon from her interview and said nothing to Sarek. She passed his office with a small smile and wave and continued on to their bedroom and went straight to their bathroom and undressed. She went to the shower and activated it. In order to preserve water every Vulcan non-sonic shower came about only in two minutes bursts. Two minutes was enough time to get your hair and body wet. Then with no water flowing you could soap up until you had a satisfactory lather, even shampoo your hair. Another two minute burst was enough to remove all of the soap from hair and body.

But today, after that incident at the school, Amanda needed an honest to goodness long, scorching hot, therapeutic shower and she was aware she could not have one. That fact made her want to cry. She was already learning how to cut things off from Sarek through the bond. She didn't want him to sense her mood. She wanted to do this on her own. She had had no idea how hard this was going to be. Secluded in Sarek's world since coming to his compound a little over a week before, venturing out into the world out there was ugly and suspicious and just plain STUPID! She was sitting on the floor of the shower, getting wet, and had wasted her first two minutes of water just sitting there in a daze. As the water tapered off, she supposed she should lather up. She stood and did so. She hit the tab again and rinsed off the soap with the two minute burst.

Then she remembered she hadn't washed her hair. That's when the tears began. She tried to hold it together as she applied shampoo sparingly so she didn't over lather. After rinsing it out with the third two minute blast, she got out of the shower. She caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sarek had installed it himself for her just two days before. It was a Terran vanity, mirrors, but he'd done it for her. And looking in the mirror, she began to cry again, this time in earnest. She took her face and buried it into her towel and bawled. And the sound of hearing herself cry made her cry even harder. But the towel at least muffled the sounds.

"Amanda?" she heard just outside the bathroom door. She looked up from her towel and saw the knob turning, but she'd locked it upon entering. Another Terran vanity, locks on doors. But she'd insisted on it. "Amanda!" he said, his voice obviously betraying his alarm. "You will answer me, Amanda," he nearly commanded.

"Just give me a minute, Sarek!" she called, trying to make her voice appear normal.

He said nothing at first. "What is wrong? Something has happened." He knew it. She was trying to shield him from the bond. She wouldn't open the door. He'd heard her crying. And Shin himself had just called saying it had been necessary for Amanda to flee the facility via transporter where this interview took place. She did not tell her human guard anything of what had happened apparently. Why was she shielding him from their bond right now and crying? Some part of him wanted to rip the door from its hinges but he restrained himself.

She quickly wiped her tears away and used a quick handful of water to splash her face. She was trying to appear normal. Why didn't she want him to see? And then she realized, showing tears to a man who would never cry was along the lines of humiliating for her. She went to the door, finally dry-faced, and opened it.

His eyes were more than concerned. "Did someone do something to you?" he asked, worse than alarmed.

"No, Sarek! Remember, Shin brought me to my interview."

"Do you believe you secured the employment you sought?" he asked, testing her reaction. Something was very wrong with his wife, he knew it.

She swallowed. "I guess I won't know that until later," she lied.

He detected the lie and wondered why she was hiding this from him. "Amanda, I heard you crying," he charged in an even tone of voice.

"You don't have to deal with my tears, Sarek. I know you'd rather not so I'll take care of myself."

Some part of him did not want to deal with tears. But he knew his bond mate was in severe distress and to hear her pronounce that she would take care of herself, as if he was not capable of it, made something inside him go off-kilter. "You will not even tell me what has occurred to cause this?"

She looked away from him. "Until I can control it better I'd rather not talk to you about this, Sarek."

"Amanda!" he exclaimed as he grabbed her hands. "What has happened?"

She felt it ripping through the meld and it was all him. _Panic! _ "I didn't get the job, all right? I could have if I would have just lied, but lying…I'm not going to lie about who my husband is. And do you want to hear the crazy part? They actually were still willing to give me the job, but they wanted me to spy on your people, tell them your plans to take over the galaxy! I mean, what bull!"

It was the most foolish far-fetched thing he'd ever heard. But there was more here that remained unspoken. She was still holding back information from him. "Amanda."

She knew that warning tone. It would be better to come out and tell him rather than wait for him to pillage the information while she was sleeping. "They insinuated that…that I'd married you under telepathic influence. That I was not in my right mind anymore. They locked the door, tried to keep me there. They wanted a doctor to come in and examine me." She saw the streak of _outrage/murder/revenge_ streak through his mind. "Fortunately Shin had given me a communicator. I was able to beam directly from their facility."

He was going to have to meditate twice as long that evening, he knew it. But for that moment, he pulled his still unclothed wife into his arms and passed his hands over her in an almost clinical way. "You were not touched?"

"No!"

"You are certain, they did not touch you?"

"I would remember that, Sarek!"

She was quite correct in her impatience since he knew he was being unreasonable. He immediately shut the emotion off and pushed it aside to examine and compartmentalize later during his meditations. He let her go. But something about her was…different. She seemed just a little bit dazed. The word he'd heard it was called was 'traumatized'. Something about the incident today had triggered some memory of her past, he saw it lurking in the shadows of her mind. But she didn't want to touch it right now. So he left it alone.

He lifted her into his arms and she snaked her own tired arms around his neck and buried her face into him. She didn't move. He took her to their bed, pulled back the blankets and put her down under them. This was what she needed. "Sleep, Amanda," he whispered as he pulled the blanket up around her and then put his fingers to her psi-points. "Sleep."


	19. Fork in the Road

Fork in the Road

_ She was eight and a half. It was dark outside. The house was quiet because it was sometime in the A.M. She was in her pink pajamas. She'd awakened to strange sounds. What were those sounds?_

_ She got up, put on her pink bunny slippers and ran downstairs quietly. Her mother didn't like it when she prowled the house at night. She made sure she didn't make any noise. She went to the balcony, the one she was always told not to go near or go out on alone. They were afraid she would fall. But only babies did that. She wasn't a baby!_

_ She crept up to it, intended to open the door and stand on the balcony in the night air, look up at the stars. But as she got closer to it, she heard it again. What was that sound? She snuck up to the balcony, didn't see anything. She didn't hear anything from there either. If it wasn't coming from there, outside, where was it coming from?_

_ The child walked and followed the sound. As she got closer she realized they were muffled screams. Whose screams? She walked through the sprawling house to a side door near the kitchen that she'd been instructed repeatedly to never ever try to go through. Maybe it was like the balcony and they were afraid she would hurt herself? She didn't know._

_ She got to the door, tested it. It wouldn't open. Obviously the dumb thing was locked! But there was a glass window up top. She wanted to know what that sound was! She turned, remembered there was a chair in the library. She went and got the chair, pushed it up to the door. The chair was heavy and it took forever to get it there._

_ Finally there, she was sweating. She stood on the chair and standing on her tippy-toes she just barely made out…there was daddy. What was he doing? Standing with him were two other men. She knew them! It was Uncle Z and Commander Reynolds. And in front of them were four people on the ground in front of them, on their knees, heads bowed, hands behind their backs…tied up? Were they playing a game? She saw and realized, too late, that there were others next to them, but they were already laid out on the ground, their bodies… charred? How had that happened?_

_ Her father was laughing with a drink in one hand and a phaser in the other. And he was having a casual conversation with Z and Reynolds as if this were the most normal thing in the world to do. He raised the phaser, aimed it and there was a scream. But it hadn't come from Amanda. She was frozen with fear, her vocal cords shut off._

_ There was a child being restrained by Commander Reynolds. Uncle Z was just standing around with a bottle of something in his hands, drinking casually. She couldn't hear what they were saying to the child, but she saw the child was Andorian. They said something and the child answered, but it must have been the wrong answer because then her father laughed and phasered the man in front of him. The man fell to the floor, body charred like the other bodies already laid out next to him._

_ And the Andorian child being restrained by Commander Reynolds screamed and screamed and screamed…_

Amanda woke up in a rush, screaming, shaking, "Noo! No nononono!" Someone tried to put arms around her. She fought them hard, wordless now, full of fury. "Don't you TOUCH ME!" Her fists were pummeling something…someone. Someone? Her hands paused. Who…?

_Amanda…_ it was spoken with comfort intended. _You are safe with me now, Amanda._

"Sarek?" she whispered. Her hand reached out tentatively in the darkness. Fingers met hers, empathic contact was established. And then she remembered where she was. _Calm, reassurance, tenderness_ was conveyed through the bond. "Oh God, Sarek. Oh God," she was sobbing uncontrollably.

He'd seen an echo off of her dream and his stomach turned at what she'd seen as a child. The memory had been halfway suppressed. She'd always known it was there but had refused to look at it. Something about the incident during her interview when those men had been so accusatory about him, when she'd tried to get away and almost couldn't, it had touched the incident of the past in her mind, forced it to the surface. The most disturbing thing was that was not the last time Amanda happened upon her father's 'work' as a child. But it was the incident that shattered her innocence about him.

He laid her back again, put his fingers to her psi-points, went into her mind directly and soothed her. It took an hour to put her back to sleep.

####

The next morning Dana and Mariana were surprised when Cassie got up, put on business clothing and accompanied them into the Terran section of the city with Shin. "Going job hunting?" asked their guard casually.

She mustered up a smile. "Yes." Shin also smiled in return, but it was nearly as fake as hers. Something was up. He had excellent instincts, so he was always told, and they were blaring at him at that moment, but he didn't know why.

The three girls and Shin piled into the shuttle. He'd formed a comfortable working relationship with Dana and Mariana in the mornings. But Cassie had never once come along so he didn't quite know what he was supposed to do with her that day. When they landed, he asked both girls when they would need to be picked up. But he already knew that. He was stalling, trying to figure out what he was going to say to Cassie.

Both industrious young ladies left for their respective positions and Cassie was still standing there. "What time do you want me to pick you up?" he asked her, still unsure of what was wrong with this situation and what he was supposed to say.

"Aren't you supposed to follow me around and guard me or something?" she asked.

"As long as you stay within the Terran part of the city you'll be fine. In fact, I suspect you'd be fine even if you didn't." _Because no Vulcan would touch you…ever._

"Well you need to do your _job_ and guard me," she said.

"That's not what I was hired to do," he answered with a neutral face.

"Well what _were you_ hired to do?"

"I was hired to shuttle Dana, Mariana and you wherever you needed to go and return for you at the time you needed me to do so. I was hired to shuttle Amanda wherever she might need to go within the Terran section of the city and also wait around for her until she was finished. I was also hired to be Maya's direct guard anywhere she goes outside of Sarek's compound. Does that answer your question?"

She thought she could rattle some information out of him. "Why the hell is Maya so important?"

"Ask the ambassador," was his only answer. "What time should I come back for you?"

"Fine. Twenty minutes—no, half an hour should do," she said.

He took off and returned to the house to await more orders. But there was something really bothering him and he didn't know what it was.

Cassie found the call center she'd looked up the directions to. She went inside, walked past the clerks and found a private cubicle. Closing the partition behind her, she instituted the soundproof field then keyed up the toll-free information hotline. After speaking with two or three representatives with her questions, the face of a rather intimidating man came on the line. "Yes?" asked the deep voice.

A part of her recoiled in horror at the man's eyes. He looked normal at first glance. He, in fact, looked like a regular person at second glance. About the age of her father, dark wavy hair with tendrils of gray through it, a semi-handsome face with an olive tone to his skin. But something about his eyes looked…predatory. But if this was who she needed to speak to—"I don't know if I have the right person, but I have a Thought Crime label on me and I just want to go home. I don't belong here on this damn planet."

"How are you calling me?" asked the scary looking man. "There are no phones in lock-up."

"A friend sprung me."

He only looked at her for a few seconds as if he could see through her. Then he looked her name up since she'd given it to a previous operator. "So your friends have the sense that was given them and are staying out of trouble for now, trying to get jobs and things of that nature and you…what?"

"I _want_ to go home!" she said, not at all paying attention to what he'd said.

"You shouldn't have committed a Thought Crime."

That was the same infuriating thing her father had told her. "You're not _telling_ me anything!"

He leaned forward into the screen. "You don't even have the decency to take your punishment with honor. And now you want to do whatever it takes to go _home_," he said, disdain in his eyes.

She didn't care about his disdain. "Whatever. Just tell me what I have to do."

"What did you do to get the title of Thought Crime slapped on you?" He continued looking up her information. "I see," he read. "Banned books. Hmmm. They were never recovered. Sorry, there's no hope for you. You'll never set foot on Terra Prime again."

"But I know who the last person was who had them before they disappeared!"

"We know that already. Actually, your cousin, from what I read here. First cousin. You'd roll over on a close relative to get home, hmm?"

She nodded. "I'll do whatever it takes. I _have_ to get home."

"I see," he said. "Well, just find out who she gave the books to and-"

"There was a drop box!" said Cassie. "She said she doesn't know."

"They already know about the drop box. By the time they got there the books were long gone. Get the names of her accomplices that took the books wherever. It's the only way you're going to get the Thought Crime tag removed from you."

"How am I supposed to do that?" asked Cassie.

"If you can't at least find out her contacts, get in touch with me again and let us know where we can pick her up for interrogation. We'll get it out of her if at all possible."

"So pick her up, you know where we live now!"

"Private residence of an Ambassador and officially a different jurisdiction?" he said looking at the file. "No way. He has immunity. She has to be picked up preferably in the Terran section of your city."

"How am I supposed to know where and what time-"

"You're the traitor. Figure it out. Contact me by calling this number again and ask for Special Agent 52. If I don't hear from you in the next two days I'll consider this matter closed. Good day," he said as he cut the connection.

She had two Terra Prime days. 48 hours.

####

Shin found himself standing with Zurel at the door of the ambassador's residence. Amanda answered. "Hey, guys," she greeted. "Come in. What's going on?"

"I need to see Sarek," said Shin. "I feel like an idiot, but Zurel talked me into it."

"Come on. He's in his office."

She escorted the two of them to Sarek's door and knocked. It wasn't necessary, she remembered and instead sent along their bond _Shin and Zurel are here to see you…_

_Send them in._

"You can see him right now," she said as she opened the door and let them go inside.

She heard her husband greeting them and then slipped away. She wanted to speak with Maya.

Sarek looked at both men as he stood. "You have a concern?" asked Sarek. He'd seen Shin's words through his wife's mind and wondered what was going on.

"Sir, I didn't even want to come here," said Shin. "But something was just…weird today."

"I urged him to come forward with whatever suspicion he might have," said Zurel.

Sarek's mouth frowned. "There is a suspicion of something?"

Shin nodded. "I feel terrible saying something about someone and I don't have any proof. But sir, I went to take Dana and Mariana into the Terran section to their jobs and Cassie came along."

"Perhaps the young woman has finally come to her senses and wishes to seek employment," said Sarek.

Shin nodded. "Sir, who goes job hunting for half an hour, no appointments lined up? She didn't even have a printout of companies to visit."

"One half hour?" he asked.

"I just dropped her off less than twenty minutes ago and she asked to be picked up half an hour from when I dropped her off. At first, she wasn't even sure of that. She said 'twenty minutes…no half an hour', as if what she went to do wouldn't take that long. But I don't have any proof of anything, just my gut is telling me something is really wrong. I know you don't believe in gut instincts, Ambassador Sarek, but I'm Terran and my gut is telling me that girl is doing something detrimental to someone else. Her own cousin doesn't even trust her."

Sarek's curiosity was piqued then. "Dana has told you this herself?"

"Yes, she has. Dana has a very accurate psychological portrait of the type of young lady her cousin is. And it is not a pretty one."

He sighed. "What time do you pick up the other young ladies?"

"I pick up Dana in three hours and I pick up Mariana an hour after that."

"I would speak with Dana immediately, Shin, as soon as she returns."

"Yes, sir," said Shin.

####

Amanda found Maya outside standing in the sun. "You're going to bake your skin off!" she chastised. Then she realized something. Maya was wearing the robes of Sarek's house that day. And she was staring at Sokam's residence.

Maya took the head covering attached to the back of the robe and pulled it up until her hair was covered. That was much better. These robes were not decorative, she realized. They were practical.

Amanda had been about to talk to Maya about her troubles but she realized at that moment that something was going on inside her friend. And she wanted to help her. "Maya, what's going on? Why'd you wear the robes today?"

She shrugged. "I don't even know to tell you the truth. I think it might have something to do with him," she said as her chin jutted in the direction of Sokam's. "He said he was the one who got them for me. No man interested in me has ever been directly nice to me…ever. And he did that before he even met me."

She held back a smile. "What's happened between you two?"

She nodded. "Nothing and everything," she admitted. "I just know how things are in his mind about me. And I have some choices to make."

"Do you need to talk? You're always asking me if I need to talk, but do you need to talk about this?" she asked.

They were walking now because Maya had begun to walk, almost restless. "I'm supposed to go today and learn a mind shield from him, you know, so I can finally get some kind of work or a reason to exist. And I'm afraid to go to his place."

"Why?"

She didn't answer. Instead, "Did you love Sarek when he bonded you two together?" fell out of her mouth, almost against her will.

Amanda smiled. "I did."

"How do you think a bond goes when you don't love the other person yet? When you just want them, when you feel like a part of them will fit into a part of you? Do you think it can turn into love after the bond is instituted?"

Amanda thought about that. "Do you think you can love Sokam?"

"I have this feeling that if he and I were to join I wouldn't know where he began and I ended. And that scares me. Is that love? What is that like, that feeling within the bond? I don't even know, could I handle that feeling?"

Amanda accessed her bond and allowed all of the emotions it dredged up in her, the conduit of feelings and depth of loyalty, the untapped ecstasy always kept at bay, and then unexpectedly reached out and grabbed Maya's hand. "Like that."

Maya gasped and jumped back, snatching her hand away. She swallowed back a rush of intensity that had just poured through her. "You have to warn a sister before you do something like that!" she yelled.

Amanda started laughing. "It's not like that all of the time. Most of the time it's like the way you described it when you first saw me after I'd bonded with Sarek, an echo in the back of your mind, quiet, sleeping. But it can be accessed anytime you want, from your side or his."

They were still walking as Maya digested what she'd just heard. "Amanda, can we talk about this, I mean really talk, no-holds-barred, down and dirty?"

She smiled. "Yes."

They reached a part of the property that was far enough away that they could still see the houses. But it was off to the side near the back wall and had an oasis feel to it. There was one lone desert tree with a special fruit growing on it. The fruit sprouted on the tree year-round and was a rich source of protein, fat and moisture. There was enough foliage on it for them to sit under it and be shaded. "I have questions and I need some honest answers. I hope if the questions are too…raw, you'll tell me 'don't go there' and I'll back off. Okay?" she asked as she sat under the tree.

Amanda sat opposite her under the same tree. "Okay."

Maya looked down. "The bond- I feel different toward you since you've done it. Like now you know kind of what it's like for a telepath. Does Sarek ever…influence you through it?"

"No!" she exclaimed, feelings instantly hurt.

"Oh damn, I didn't mean to-"

"No, Maya, no. You have a right to ask. It's not the same as the people who talk about it and have no idea." She realized she'd had that knee-jerk reaction after her unpleasant experience at her job interview the day before. "No, Sarek has but so much reign in my mind. And I don't even have telepathic experience. We've even had several arguments since him and I have been bonded and he's definitely not changed _my_ mind on some things."

"Arguments?"

Amanda smiled, strangely satisfied. "I've even won a few."

"You won arguments with a Vulcan?" she asked, incredulous.

"Don't ask."

"Moving right along," smiled Maya. "So my mind will stay mine. I like that."

"You were really worried about that," she realized.

"Can you blame me? Really think about it. They're strong, stronger than us in every way. And looking at that after so many years of dealing with Terran men…can you blame me? Every man who has claimed to love me has tried to rule me, one even intentionally hurt me."

Amanda sighed. "One thing about dealing with Vulcans, even V'Tosh Ka'tur, make sure you have your logic straight before launching any verbal attacks. Because even if you see it from two different points of view, if you have logic on your side, they can't pick your theory apart."

She was eating the advice like pie. "Okay. Now what about the sex?"

"What about the sex?"

"I mean…not that you've gone buck wild sleeping with Vulcan men or anything, but does the bond come into play, you know, during it?"

"Yes."

Maya sat there, waiting for an explanation. "Would it be too forward to ask how?"

She laughed. "There are some things you're going to have to experience on your own."

"I was afraid you were going to say that."

"Maya, I never got the impression you've ever been with anyone."

She paused, wondering what to say. "Not voluntarily, I haven't."

Amanda's face went pale. "Not voluntarily?"

She'd never been able to say it out loud except to the therapist, but she decided today was the day she was going to stop hiding from it. "I was raped when I was 15, Amanda."

The two women sat there not saying anything else for a few minutes. They both felt the sting of tears in their eyes as Maya looked down at her hands. "It took three tries and two years, but the bastard finally got me." She halfway laughed through a sniffle. "I used to walk home from school. And I usually didn't have any trouble. I could always feel him coming for me. But if it wasn't a good day, if I hadn't had enough sleep or if I was really stressed out…my abilities weren't as reliable back then as they are now. Anyway, he was this dealer of Diamond Dust, that's when that drug first came out. He was a real big-shot, you know, the kind with the fancy hover, latest model, girls chasing him. He was all cute with the brown skin-light eyes combination. He really thought he was the shit. Until me, no one had ever told him 'no'."

She continued. "Anyway, the first time he tried to get at me a neighborhood guy walked in on him in the staircase trying to get my shirt off. The guy was like 'what the hell are you doing?' to him. Angel. His name was Angel. He was an angel for saving me that first time. Anyway, that dirtbag was distracted so while Angel was standing there telling him to let me go, I kicked him, hard, and ran up the stairs, went home, locked myself in. Two more tries and then that bastard got me."

"Did the police-"

Maya looked at her, face contorted in pain with tears running. "Police don't go there, to neighborhoods like that. They don't care about us. They think we're animals, all of us, since we don't have money and there's so much crime. My sister, you know the BAMF she is. Her and three of Mariana's older brothers, they did something. I don't know when or how. But his body was fished out of the river a week later. Probably it was my sister that did this part, but he was castrated."

She sighed. "Anyway, I tried to act like nothing was wrong, kept going to school but I just stopped talking to people. Finally I went into counseling when I was in college. It wasn't enough. I just kept thinking I killed him. I killed him. And the therapist didn't help, really. Insisted I'd done something to lead him on otherwise I'd never have been-"

"No!" Amanda said as she grabbed her hand. "You didn't do anything to deserve this. And you didn't kill him. It was cause and effect, that's all. If he wouldn't have done what he did, he might still be alive today. That's all. It's all on him."

She sighed. "Sokam wants to help me fix this in my head. Can you believe that?"

Amanda grew quiet and then that was the moment she remembered. Oh no. Pon Farr. How was Maya going to handle information about that? She didn't think that was the day to talk about it. But it looked like a bond between the two of them wasn't far off. She didn't want to be the one Maya looked at and said 'why the hell didn't you tell me?' "I need to tell you something, all right? It's serious."


	20. Decisions

_Sorry this chapter is so small. But I felt nothing else fit in this chapter, if you know what I mean. It's the reason I've uploaded another one right after it so you don't feel too cheated! - J.S._

Decisions

Dana lay in bed that evening after she thought everyone else had fallen asleep. Her heart was hurting. She'd spoken with the ambassador that day. And though nothing could be proven one way or another, she believed her cousin meant harm to someone, maybe even her. But no one knew how or why. She sat up in bed. Now her head was hurting along with her heart. They still had no proof.

There was a knock on her door. "Come in," she said.

The door opened. No one other than Cassie herself walked in. "Hey, how you doing?" she asked. It was the most personable she'd been since they'd moved into Sarek's compound. If she'd never been warned she would have thought she was turning over a new leaf or something. But she really didn't trust her anymore.

"I have a headache. What's up?" She was watching her closely.

She walked over and sat on her bed. "I was thinking about some things, trying to figure some stuff out. Do you know for a fact that those books are safe?"

Dana smiled, trying to hide her true feelings. "Yes, they're long gone. Well at least as far as I know they are."

"Who got them?"

She nodded. "I don't even know. My contact never showed his or her face. I don't even know their voice, where they live, nothing."

"How did you even get in touch with them in the first place?"

Dana shrugged with a grin. "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Cassie laughed and sighed. "If I had something I wanted to get to them since it wasn't safe to keep here, what would I do?" she asked.

Dana frowned. "What do you have?"

Cassie smiled. "That's for me to know and for you to find out…like never."

Dana didn't believe her one bit. "Well all my contacts were on Terra Prime. I don't have any here. I don't even know how to cross the street the right way here yet."

Cassie looked like she was really thinking hard about something. "What if you could go back to your old life, like right now, tomorrow? Would you?"

Dana nodded. "There's no use entertaining fairy tales. I broke the law, I knew the penalty and now I have to deal with the consequences. I could be in jail right now and I'm not. I have a chance to make a new life here. And I suggest you do the same."

"I am, I am!" she answered. "I guess you're right. I should just get a job, get an apartment, and see about making a life here, right?"

"Yes, you should," said Dana, hoping Cassie really meant it. She wasn't so sure about anything about her now.

Cassie stood, kissed her cousin on the cheek and then walked out of her room and closed the door. The tears began to course down Dana's face. She knew for a certainty that she was about to be betrayed and she didn't know how or where it would come from.

####

At about the same time, Maya was awake looking up at her own ceiling in the darkness. Amanda had dropped a bomb on her that day about Vulcan males. She knew if she thought about it too soon or too much she wouldn't give Sokam a chance in hell. She decided to take the information and put it into a non accessible part of her mind to mull over later. She wanted to truly think about things without the shadow of the past influencing her.

She went to Sokam, learned the proper way to shield her mind—except it was going to take a few days and a lot of practice to get it right. That part hadn't taken long at all. She thought it would, but it took less than an hour for him to show her the concept in her mind and for her to begin to try it out. That was more of a show-and-tell tutorial.

But when he'd gone into her mind, afterward, to heal the trauma of her past, he had been right, she had to go in and help him to help herself. It had taken a long time and it had been painful to them both. But he was with her every step of the way. The two of them emerged from the meld completely exhausted, sweating and dehydrated. After that neither one had much energy for conversation.

She was still quite out of it, shaking, and was surprised when he came to her and held a tumbler of cool water to her lips to drink. She was only able to get half of it down her throat. It didn't go unnoticed by her that he took the same cup and drained the remainder of her water. There was an intimacy to that act, she realized in the back of her mind. To drain the cup of one who'd just drank from it in a desert culture…it spoke volumes without saying a word.

Maya dragged herself back to Sarek's accompanied by a quiet Sokam. Anyone who saw the two of them would have assumed he was holding her to him while they walked, but really she was so weak from the experience he was holding her _up_ preventing her from falling. There was something even deeper between them by then, though unspoken. He left her at her door with one last look in her eyes. "While you sleep, you will continue to heal. When you awaken, things will be as they should be," he said before he walked away.

And then she made her way into the house, through it and into her own room and fell into a deep mercifully dreamless sleep. And now she was awake, thinking.

She had no idea what it would be like after that meld with him. It had been so…clinical. He had been careful not to stray anywhere else in her mind or impose what he wanted onto her. He was definitely gifted. Because now she was no longer haunted by the past. Since she'd chosen not to erase it, the memory was still there, accessible, terrible. But it no longer had a hold on her or her perceptions. He'd walked through the memory with her, step by step, merged with and become one with her for a time. It was healed.

Able to think straight about someone of the opposite sex for the first time in years, Maya decided it was time to face the truth. Without a doubt she wanted a bond with Sokam. Not just anyone else, solely him. But she still felt constrained by convention and Terran preconceptions. What was she supposed to do to let him know she was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure he didn't die? Because she could tell, that thing Amanda warned her about, it was coming for him soon. He'd never said anything to her about his impending Pon Farr. She could tell he was hesitant to even mention it to her.

She was afraid of his Time, but she suspected that while bonded to him she would want to protect him from the sight of the world and do whatever it took to get him through it…no matter how much it hurt her. So long as he lived, that was of paramount importance. They could pick up the pieces after that and decide what to do next.

She'd glimpsed his careful tenderness with her feelings that day, the concern for the damage the trauma of the past had inflicted on her. She suspected that deeper layer of knowing how to deal with her emotions stemmed from his non-Syrranite upbringing. But he hid that person beneath imposed layers and structures set up by years at the monastery, with Sarek and with the Master. She'd seen the imposed layers in his mind. He'd allowed them to slacken for her. Only for her.

He'd given her water without her having even asked. Maya rolled over and put her face into her hands. If she was going to face the truth she needed to face another fact. She was falling in love with him. How in the hell had that happened so quickly? And then the opposite question popped into her head. Who was she kidding? How the hell could it _not_ have happened?

####

The next day came and went. Another day dawned. The deadline was there. Sarek awaited T'Pau's call. Thursday morning, it came in.

The view screen activated and her imperious face was there. "Live long and prosper, Sarek. I have word from the Joint Council."

"I await your decision," he acknowledged.

"Initially it did not go well," she admitted. "However, several members have since changed their thoughts about the situation and it no longer seems well with them. They are prepared to hear your proposal."

Elation hit him in the pit of his stomach and he realized that it was not his reaction, but his wife's. She had learned to access the bond in this way and quite quickly. Fascinating! "What day am I expected and in which Ministry?"

"The Ministry of Thought will hear your ideas and then deliberate on them. You may arrive to give your presentation of ideas in eight days time."

He bowed to T'Pau. "I thank you, honored elder, for being a voice in my stead."

"Thee has learned proper respect since our last conversation," she said with approval.

He suspected he was being toyed with. "That may be," he acknowledged.

"The same level of respect will be expected when you address the Council. Nothing less will be accepted from you."

He knew a warning when he heard one. "Yes, honored elder."

This time, she gave him the customary parting. Lifting her hand, she said, "Live long and Prosper, Sarek."

####

Cassie was at the call center again, went to a booth, accessed the privacy screen and put her call in. "Special Agent 52," she requested. She was put through quickly.

He was there again, disgust in his eyes. "So you're going to give her in?"

"What's it to you?"

He sighed. "You do realize it's been more than two days?"

"Not _here_ it hasn't," said Cassie. "It's been two days for _me_. And you just said two days, you didn't say-"

"Where will she be in three days, your planet's time?"

"No, she'll be at home. She doesn't go to her internship that day."

"The day after that?"

"Yeah, she goes then."

"What's the address?" he asked.

Cassie rattled it off and gave her work hours.

"A Vulcan squad will pick her up in four days," he said. "If she's not there, it isn't our concern any longer and that's it for this case." He cut the connection.

She sighed. Four more days and then maybe she would be able to go home soon. She marveled at how she didn't even feel guilty.


	21. Intent

Intent

The head of the Vulcan Science Academy, Demek, had been formally invited to the House of Sarek that evening to discuss strategies for the council meeting and also share a family dinner. He went, eagerly, wishing to meet Sarek's Terran bride. Demek held a fascination for females of all races. They possessed a beauty that, to him, was undeniable. To put it plainly, he was a male that appreciated all things feminine. There was no barrier to female beauty in his mind. It was the reason he was so staunchly against using the Terran prisoners the way they were being used. Females were to be appreciated, cherished, in his mind, not to simply be _used_.

Upon arriving at The House of Sarek he was greeted by not only his new Terran bride, but also his Terran ward. Two other Terran females came by to meet him then at the behest of Sarek. Former prisoners as well, but blessedly still untouched by his people's barbaric decision, he had his reasons for wanting to meet them. He needed as much of a justification as possible for going forward with what he was doing. He'd stumbled across something important the day before and would go about investigating it the next day and he knew his life hung in the balance if his suspicions proved correct. He would not tell Sarek yet of what he knew. He wouldn't even tell him of what he suspected. Knowing how Sarek was, he would insist on accompanying him and this would also lead to his death. No. The ambassador was still quite young to Vulcan standards and he had a new bride. He should enjoy her for years to come.

Demek had been widowed the year before. There was no urgent need for him to take another mate anytime soon. That night, he spent his evening in the company of what he cherished the most. A house full of females.

At first, the four of them had simply sat there all lined up next to one another, staring at him. They looked, askance, at one another and then the one name Mariana, giggled. The sound made him look at her, amazed. What a beautiful sound!

"This feels like a freaking Sadie Hawkins dance," Dana mumbled out of nowhere and all four girls were openly laughing then, their nerves making the laughter worse than it should have been. He wished he could stretch out his fingers to each and feel the sensation of laughter from all of them, not just hear it. He was old enough to be a great-grandfather to them all. They were but beautiful children in his eyes.

"I have always wished to learn the Terran custom, this partnered dancing," he announced.

All four of them just gawked and so did Sarek. And then the girls were laughing again, all of them jumping up as if with one mind, rearranging Sarek's furniture, pulling out music. Something about the man put their minds at ease. He didn't strike them the way other Vulcans did. Every time she smiled at him, Dana noticed his head would turn to look and watch openly. He found all of their smiles radiant, fascinating. The showing of teeth was usually a sign of aggression. But these women did it to show their happiness. They spent a pleasant evening doting on the widower.

He spent time with each one of them, enjoying what he suspected might be one of the last nights he would be alive. He found Dana's knowledge of Terran psychology to be fascinating and offered her all of his literature on Vulcan psychology. She only had to promise she would share it with no one Terran. "Those book burners! They dumped me here, you think I'm going to give _them_ a thing?" That was enough of a reassurance for him.

He found out the young lady Mariana was actually a trained nurse, but had hated the profession. "Every time I literally turned around I was getting pinched on my butt by some old fogey with dental implants and support stockings." She was loud, opinionated and he enjoyed seeing her get worked up about an issue.

Maya had been initially very shy with him and he realized she was reluctant to touch him, unlike the other young ladies. He realized the young woman had an active, though fluctuating, mind shield and gasped when she stood to take his hand to dance. "Sorry, I'm still negotiating that," she murmured.

"However, you are trying," he acknowledged, still amazed.

Her face looked up into his and she gave him a wonderful smile. They spent time then discussing her degree in Galactic History. She was interested in filling in a few holes on Vulcan History and he wound up offering her his extensive library. "Would you avail yourself of it?" he asked her.

"Does Dust kill?" she joked. He only raised an eyebrow indicating he did not know what she meant. "That means 'yes', I'd love your books on Vulcan History," said Mariana with a smile.

And Amanda was a joy to converse with. Her spoken Vulcan had the most charming Terran accent. He spent the better part of an hour listening to her speak as she became less and less shy about the language while conversing with him. "Thank you for listening to my terrible accent," she mentioned.

"It was worth it to hear such effort," he said to her with a slight nod. "With time and usage your accent will fade. Your vocabulary, however, is most impressive."

Amanda actually blushed. "Oh, how sweet of you to say!"

Sarek found Demek's interactions with the Terrans of his household fascinating in his own way. He was not stiff and formal with any of them. In fact, he was looser with conversation than he had ever seen him, and just a tad more animated. It occurred to him that Demek would have been much more suited to the role of Ambassador to Terra Prime than himself. And the reason he was so against the prison situation crystallized in Sarek's mind. _He just really likes girls!_ Gushed Amanda in his mind. Sarek would have laughed at Amanda's enthusiasm if he could have. Cassie never even bothered to show up.

**The Next Day**

It was the day everyone usually remained at home. Sokam steeled himself, gathered his thoughts, and then went to Sarek's. He was received kindly, as usual, by Amanda. But this day was different. It was no casual visit. "I wish to speak with Sarek. In fact, I believe I should speak with you both."

She'd seen this coming a mile off. Unfortunately she knew her husband had not. "Should I go get Maya?" asked Amanda.

"Please do," he nodded.

Amanda walked away and Sokam didn't even sit while he waited, he remained standing, ironically, in the same place he had been the first time he'd found himself tracking Maya's every move. Soon the woman he wished to formally ask for was walking out to him with curious eyes. "Sokam?"

His eyes were falling into hers. "With your permission, I will ask Sarek today if you and I are free to bond."

Her heart sped up and then calmed. No one had ever looked at her the way he was at that moment. No one else would have noticed any difference, but she did. "Yes, ask him." She wanted this more than anything else now.

Amanda mentally summoned Sarek whom made his way to the Common Room with haste. He entered the room and saw Sokam standing there next to Maya.

"Please, sit," he invited the now obvious couple.

Sokam and Maya sat down on one end of the long backless couch while he and Amanda sat at the other end. "Speak plainly, Sokam, why have you come today?"

No preliminaries, no small talk. Straight to the point. Amanda had a bad feeling about this.

"I wish to bond with Maya," he answered without preamble.

Sarek found himself wanting to instantly answer 'no', but Amanda was sitting next to him and conveyed to him _Mister, if you shut this guy down with a 'no' without at least hearing him out the only heat in __**our **__bedroom for the next year will come from our fireplace. Furthermore, the woman who lies next to you every evening, she who is __**supposed to be your wife**__, will give you a reception colder than the coldest day in the deepest depth of Antarctic winter. __Got It?_

He looked at Maya. Truly, logic dictated it was her decision, was it not? "What say you, Maya?"

"I want to," she admitted. She was trying her best to keep a straight face, not show her emotions. She needed more practice. She was worried he would say no.

"Are you aware of several important facts concerning Sokam?" began Sarek.

She nodded. She knew what he was talking about. And her Terran-ness burst through then. "All right, so the guy is a little bit-" she searched for a good word and 'crazy' wasn't it, "-unique. But he's controlling it stringently. If he and I were to bond, I think that piece of him would be mollified."

"He may hurt you if he loses control," said Sarek. "He is late to our way of doing things."

"I assure you, I would never voluntarily hurt Maya," said Sokam with a level voice. "You are the head of this house and she is your ward. I have gone to the trouble of making certain I obtain your permission before we join together. If I were truly deficient in my control, I would have already taken that which technically only you have the right to give. I have not touched her physically nor bonded her to me, though my instincts have pushed me to do so. Does that not speak volumes of my respect for the Syrranite way of life?"

Sarek had to admit, his logic was sound. And then there was the last loophole. _Amanda, is she aware of our Times?_

_ I already told her!_

And she still wished to bond with him. Fascinating! He looked between the two of them as they waited for his word on the matter. "She is yours," he said to Sokam.

Maya's face split into a grin a mile wide as Sokam held out his two fingers and looked over at her. She realized what he wanted since she'd seen Amanda and Sarek do this before and she put her fingers into his. The hum between the two of them as she looked into his eyes…_JOY!_ Resounded through the contact between them. "She is mine," said Sokam, his face straight, but his voice was amazed.

While they were still speaking, a shuttle came and parked just outside Sarek's compound wall. Zurel went to see who it was. There was a Vulcan there he'd seen only once before. It was one of the guards from the prison, Turan was his name. He remembered hearing Dana speak of this guard once. Her nickname for him had been TDH, Tall, Dark and Handsome. That alone let him know how Dana felt about him, but she'd said in her own words he was the best looking man, Terran or Vulcan, she had ever seen in her life.

He opened the gate to him to enquire about his presence there. "I must speak with the ambassador," said Turan.

Zurel knew the sound of restrained urgency. Living among Terrans had helped him understand his own people better, the way they hid their emotions, the strange ways things came through in body language and the voice no matter how hard one tried to contain them. And there was something urgent here. "Please, do come in," invited the house guard.

The over average tall Vulcan followed Zurel to the main house. "This concerns the female named Dana," he said. They gained entrance and found Sarek, Amanda, Sokam and Maya there, speaking with one another.

Zurel noticed Sokam openly holding Maya's fingers to his and a sense of satisfaction blazed through him that two people he was fond of were embarking on a new journey together. "Sarek, this is Turan from the Terran female holding facility. He has come to speak with you on an important matter involving Dana."

He had never met him, but apparently Zurel knew him. "I will go and retrieve Dana," said Zurel as he left the house. Sarek and Turan went back to his office.

Maya and Amanda wanted to laugh out loud remembering Dana's embarrassing moment involving Turan. What would she say when she saw him? "God I wish I was a fly on the wall of that exchange!" declared Maya.

Sokam was confused. "I fail to understand why you would wish to become an insect on a wall during a private conversation."

And the two ladies just laughed.

Zurel was knocking on the door of the guest house and waited to see who would come and answer it. He was there to retrieve Dana but Mariana came to the door. "Hi, Zurel!" she greeted him with a big smile.

She always had a big smile for him, for everyone. That was just her. And he didn't understand why this line of thought was going through his mind. "I have come to retrieve Dana. Sarek wishes to speak with her."

"Oh, I'll get her," said Mariana. She ran into the house and was gone a mere thirty seconds. Coming back to the door, she held it open and stood with half her body in the doorway with a smile on her face. "She was relaxing today. Give her a few minutes and she'll be right out."

Dana was walking back with Zurel. The two were in light conversation when they walked into the house. "Maya!" she hugged her. "Zurel told me. Congratulations," she said.

"Oh, thank you!" answered Maya.

Amanda decided she was going to barge in on the meeting via her bond with Sarek. It was just too easy to eavesdrop this way. Sokam took Maya by the hand and led her out of the house. They had plans to make. But inside the room, things were tense.

"We received an alert to pick up Dana tomorrow at her internship. She is wanted for questioning in connection with a cover-up to hide banned literature," said Turan. "Since she was in our facility we would do any pick-ups involving former inmates. I am not at all certain who called this in, but the orders came from Terra Prime and it was a one-time-only request."

"What does that mean?" asked Sarek.

"It means if we go to her internship to pick her up and she's not there, we are to not try again."

"Not to try again that week?" asked Dana.

"No. The pick-up request is not to extend past the day," he said as he finally looked down at the tall blonde female. He remembered what she'd said about him, the way she'd very boldly pronounced him as hers. He'd never forgotten that. He wound up delving into her records after she left the facility, finding out all he could about her. She had an impressive academic record that included an undergraduate degree in Terran psychology. She was quite intelligent and sharp, according to all of her teachers. If he had to face death and there were no Vulcan females available, he would rather have this one help him past that point than any other. But his Time would not be upon him for quite a while. There was no rush. In fact, the more he considered it the more he realized even if there was a Vulcan female available he might still want this Terran with the golden hair instead.

"That is confusing," said Sarek. "Since when is the Empire lackluster in their efforts to capture one with information they wish to have?"

"I know nothing of it," said Turan.

"Is there anything on the alert that said when it was issued?" asked Dana, working on a hunch.

Turan spouted the date off from the top of his head.

Dana looked at Sarek and swallowed back tears. "That's the last day Cassie went into the Terran section of the city, ambassador."

Somewhere deep inside him something hurt for Dana. To know your own kinswoman has put forth something to bring you down... "What would be her motive?" he asked, still incredulous.

"It's simple," she said. "They pick me up, find out what they need to know, who my contact was. If they get the books back and can track down the network of banned merchandise, she gets the designation of Thought Crime lifted from her name. After that she gets to go home to Terra Prime back to her spoiled life."

"Has she no conscience?" asked Sarek, restricting his outrage.

Dana nodded, seemingly unmoved. "No." She'd already cried about this, accepted it and now she knew she had to harden herself to deal with it.

Turan broke into their conversation. "I have an idea of what can be done in this situation."

"We are listening," said Sarek.

On his way out, Dana was escorted back outside by both Zurel and Turan. The house guard looked down at Dana and asked, "Have I become a third wheel?" Dana openly grinned at Zurel's perception of Terran idioms and culture and found herself laughing out loud while almost nervously running her hand through her short blonde locks. "I will take that as a 'yes'," he said as he walked ahead of them to the gate.

Turan had no idea what had just been said, but whatever it was it had caused the house guard to leave them alone. And he didn't understand why the female had laughed. He didn't understand laughter, in general. But there was one thing he did not expect. He did not appreciate Dana looking up at this other male that way, smiling openly at him. It produced a tight feeling in his midsection he had never experienced before. Was this jealousy? "How well do you know Zurel?" he found himself asking before he could think about it.

She waved his question off. "The other guard, Shin, takes me and Mariana to work every morning…well except today. Usually the two of us will go over to him and Shin's place and have dinner almost every night after work."

Turan was certain now, he didn't want her doing this any longer, going into another man's abode. Then he realized his error. She was not spoken for by him. But the illogical reaction in his gut would not unclench. "You see one another every evening and partake of a meal?"

Dana was confused. What was he asking? "He's quickly becoming one of the best male friends I've ever had, him and Shin really. And I usually don't have male friends. In the Terran world it's hard to trust them. But at least on Vulcan I know I can have a male friend and know he's not checking out my ass every time I turn around."

Turan's knowledge of Standard was just that, 'standard'. So he wondered why a Terran male would look at her donkey when her back was turned. Perhaps the word 'ass' had a double meaning he had not yet learned. He would have to consult his colloquial dictionary when he returned to his residence and consult the other meaning of 'ass'. He decided to leave behind that line of questioning and tell her what he wished to say. "I find your control of emotions fascinating in regard to the possible betrayal by your own kinswoman."

She then smiled up at him but it was a sad smile. "Don't mistake my outer reaction for what's really going on on the inside. Inside, my heart is broken. I've already cried about this, several times. And I'll cry about it some more…preferably in the shower while no one's looking, but it will happen. You might not understand my reaction, but we grew up together and I thought years ago I could trust her. I've learned better since, but I had no idea she was capable of it on such a deep level. I should have known better."

He didn't understand why he said this next thing. "If it would please you, when this situation is taken care of I will come by and make certain you are not too harmed by it." Then he thought better of it and found himself unexpectedly and quite harshly adding, "Unless Zurel and Shin will be attending to that task."

"Um, no," she laughed. "Zurel is simply my _friend_. So is Shin."

"Make certain he remains only that," said Turan, referring solely to the other Vulcan, as he leaned down and looked her in the eye.

Dana found herself shocked into utter silence as the two of them reached the gate. He gave one final look at Zurel and then turned back around to look at her pointedly. His look said 'you've been duly warned'.

He walked away and got into his shuttle as Dana whispered, "I'll be damned."


	22. Under The Watcher

Under The Watcher

Amanda found herself poring over the Teacher Ads frantically for the Terran section of the city that evening. It had become more than important to her to secure employment somewhere. She hadn't minded, at first, being at home with Sarek and doing nothing much as a newlywed, but it was getting to be a bit much…or not enough. Her brain was going to turn into a puddle of noodles if she didn't find something constructive to do with it.

She looked away from the computer terminal. How in the world did she think she was going to secure any form of employment in the Terran sector? Who was going to hire her, honestly, when they realized who her husband was? And that last interview bothered her so badly she was contemplating taking Shin with her into every situation she could. They would just have to deal with her arriving with a bodyguard. That wasn't uncommon of young ladies from high houses. But she second guessed that decision. Who wanted a prima donna for a teacher? That's how she would be seen if she kept her own guard even during the interview process; a big fat egomaniac.

She had some tough decisions to make. She knew she could bold-faced lie about her husband or even evade the question if ever asked her marital status. She knew she could also just not mention him at all. But both choices felt wrong to her. Wherever she went they would have to take her and her husband. If they didn't like that, they could shove it. Amanda sighed, still dejected. All that would leave her was unemployed and bored.

In a way she was angry with herself. Here she was again, beating herself up over the real consequences of her actions, not the abstract. But she'd gotten the man she'd always wanted, right? She realized now that that was not enough. She wanted more. She also felt she had a right to more.

Amanda stepped outside and looked up at T'Kuht. It jogged her creativity to see it coming more and more into phase every night. There was an angle here on the job front she wasn't seeing. She was so close to the situation, so ready to have a panic attack, that all layers were not open to presenting themselves to her. _Come on, girl, think!_

She'd always known she was 'a smart little thing'. That's what the male teachers used to refer to her as, 'a smart little thing' as if she were some anomaly. She actually did her class work with all of her effort instead of gliding by on her looks. And she could have. One thing about the females of her empire, they knew their assets and exactly how to use them. She had delicate but strong facial features and clear, beautiful eyes. Her face was, for lack of a better word, very innocent. It didn't in any way reveal the horrors she'd seen. She also knew she had a body that, if she put it out there, would be eagerly sought after. Besides that course of action not being open due to her marriage to Sarek she'd never been that sort of attention-seeker. She'd always been more comfortable in sensible clothing, comfortable shoes. She was a teacher, after all, first and foremost. If she was honest with herself, she'd always thought she was quite boring. Sarek protested that assessment of herself, but she couldn't help but think it.

And now here she was, stuck somewhere where her own people would most likely be shocked to know what she'd done as far as who she'd married. It did hurt her, in a way, to realize she would be hated by a lot of them. They would see her marriage as the worse sort of betrayal of everything the Empire stood for. She wondered what her father and mother would think when they found out. She still hadn't told them. It was kind of difficult to place a call somewhere when you'd been disowned, though.

They would find out, eventually. Sarek was, after all, the Vulcan ambassador and for some reason the Terran press had always been very interested in the goings-on of ambassadors. He would receive a new assignment in a few months and if she traveled with him the whole galaxy would know who she was within two Terra Prime days. She smirked. If there was some form of payback to her father, this was definitely it. She hadn't even thought of that angle until then and found she was oddly satisfied with the rage she knew would be in his face when he found out. And if she ever became heavy with Sarek's child, she would feel wonderful satisfaction to do so simply because she loved him. But she also knew her father would turn red with anger to know his _pure_ Terran daughter was carrying the baby of a Vulcan. She decided if she ever did she would wait until she was good and far along before showing herself to the press. And it would be a one-time only thing. She wondered if it would end in a heart attack for her old man. She frowned. Knowing him, it probably would. He was a monster, but she still loved him. He was, after all, her father. And to know he would automatically hate any child she bore for Sarek made her worse than sad.

And the Vulcans. Sarek tried to hide it from her, but she knew what they thought of him for marrying her, actually _bonding_ himself to her. They were, in their own way, scandalized. The chickens of this decision would have to come home to roost at some point, she knew it.

But not all Vulcans would be upset with their bonding. Some would actually either find it was none of their concern and yet a small minority would actually find it positive. She thought of men like Zurel, Demek, Sokam, the other two Vulcans who'd married Terran wives. She made a point to herself to look those women up after all of the drama died down that she could tell was coming. They could probably use a friend. And she could get invaluable information from them about surviving in this society surrounded by people who were not your own.

She thought long and hard. There was some development in her mind coming to fruition. All she needed to do was concentrate and it would come to the forefront. Something jogged in her brain whenever she thought of the few Vulcans who would not be bothered by her marrying one of their own. She also realized that even of the ones who were scandalized, some would come around to it and someday see it as nothing. It was they that she needed to reach. But how?

She wanted to work. And the Terran world would most likely not hire her. All right, fine. It was established in her mind, she would have to leave them behind. It hurt to think it, but it was time to stop holding onto that part of her life. So what else was there? A job in the Vulcan sector? One thing they didn't need was a Terran school teacher.

_Well why not? It's not as if Vulcans know absolutely everything! _She sagged then, nearly defeated. They damn sure knew nearly everything, at least they _thought_ they did! But there were still things they did not grasp and she could teach them those things.

Her mind strolled around that thought. She could teach them what they didn't understand. Humor? No. Most of the Syrranites found that to be useless and she couldn't see her husband even countenancing her coming in contact with any V'Tosh Vulcans for anything social. Language? That was her specialty. But what language? They could master any language. Her brain seized on something. They could master the proper rules of any language but often didn't get the nuances, the idioms, the figurative expressions. It was one thing to learn a language by rote, but it was another to pick it up from a Native speaker, idioms and colloquialisms and all. She stood up quickly, having realized there was an unexploited job market here…she thought. She could search the computer and see if anyone else was doing this already.

She also had an unexpected edge. She was married to one of theirs. Not apart of them yet, no, but also no longer an outsider. She had some research to do first thing in the morning! She went back inside the house, satisfied with her brainstorm session.

####

Maya couldn't fall asleep. No matter how hard she tried, excitement kept her eyes open. She felt worse than silly because she was positively _wired_. She sat up in bed, looked at her door. She was usually not an impulsive person. But she did an impulsive thing at that moment. She jumped up out of bed, still in her long nightgown. She was actually sneaking out of the house! She couldn't believe herself. She hadn't even done anything like this as a teenager. Laughter threatened to bubble up but she kept it inside. She didn't want to be heard by Sarek or Amanda.

She exited the home, went around the back of the main house and Sokam's residence came into view. And he'd sensed her coming to him. He was also clothed in his nightwear. The two were of one mind as they met one another, eyes locked together, then touched fingers. He grabbed her hand and led her to the edge of the property close to the wall where they could remain unseen.

He sank to his knees on the sandy ground and pulled her down with him, bodies close together. They'd spent the rest of the day talking and the entire time the sensation kept returning to him that he did not want to engage in anymore verbal exchanges with her. He wanted to be inside of her, mentally and physically, preferably at the same time, but for now mentally was enough. "Let us bond now," he said, eyes devouring her face. "Under the Watcher."

She swallowed and the ghost of their mingled desire swam through her. But she was a little hesitant. "Now?"

He sensed her hesitation. "If it is not what you wish-"

"I do! I want to bond with you now. I'm just curious. Is it normal to do it alone like this?"

"No. Usually it is not, but it is not unknown of to do it this way. If there is a problem we may then bring in a Healer. However since we are both strong telepaths I do not foresee a problem." He was looking at her, waiting for her answer, not wanting to press her one way or another. But he wanted her and couldn't hide it. She could feel it radiating off of him.

She felt the same. "Then we should do it now."

He held fast to his control. It seemed to be slipping more and more lately. He suspected he knew why and he hoped it was not that. Not now. He wasn't ready for his first Time. But it was not uncommon for there to be a rash of first-time Pon Farrs under, not just the Watcher, but the Eye of the Watcher which would soon be rising in less than two weeks. The tidal pull of both planets caused a side effect for males still living on Vulcan of the proper age who had not yet had their first Time. And he was in that category and several others. He was an un-bonded male, of the correct age and he had never left the planet of his birth. And just that morning he'd nearly lost his temper at the thought that Sarek might tell him 'no' on the subject of bonding with this female he had become instantly attached to. In his eyes, they were already doomed.

"Perhaps-" he began.

"What is it?"

"Perhaps we should not, after all."

She wanted to cry. "What are you saying to me?"

"No. No, Maya. I will always want you. I am simply concerned." And he would speak no more.

She reached out with her hand and touched her fingers to his. "You're thinking of what Sarek said today, aren't you? About hurting me if you lose control."

"It has been happening more lately," he admitted. "And it will only become worse until the fever is upon me. I do not…I would never wish to hurt you, Maya." And if there was anything that described what was shining in his eyes as he looked at her it was deeper than love. It was fierce and uncontrolled and demanded no less than she who should be his wife. But still…

"I'm not delicate," she promised him. "And what is the alternative? I won't have you dying on me, Sokam, just because you're worried about- What?"

He visibly frowned. "You do not understand what it is I will become. As the weeks draw closer, if I cannot control myself I will become more possessive, jealous of every unattached male near you. I will try to make certain you are within my sight at all times. I may accuse you of things you would never fathom doing involving your betraying me with another, perhaps even accuse someone else of attempting to compromise you to steal you away from me. And when it finally befalls me I will be a mad thing incapable of proper thought. And there will only be one thing on my mind; your skin and my skin joining, repeatedly, over and over until the hormones in my body are satisfied that we have put in enough work to create a child. And this final stage of madness can go on and on for over seven days. It will not be my intention, but I _will_ cause you pain at some point."

Maya found herself flushing in the cold and shivered from his description of what was coming for him…for the both of them. She was afraid of it. But his life meant more to her than her comfort. The fact that he cared about what he would put her through, that he didn't take it in stride as simply his right, meant more to her than what she might have to endure to keep him alive. She raised her hands to put them to his face the way he'd taught her. He found himself doing the same. Even in this, especially in this, he couldn't resist her.

"My mind to your mind…my thoughts to your thoughts," he began, formally. He truly hadn't needed to say the words, he was talented enough to go into any mind without them. But he wanted to make sure he did everything he could to do this right.

Instantly their minds poured into one another. This meld was different, she felt it instantly. She felt him there, in her mind, everywhere. There was no restraint now. She was filled with amazement as she tried to become acclimated to being directly in someone else's mind. She'd never done so before. Her ability was always kept under wraps, trying her best not to touch someone else.

_I would bond with thee, never and always, touching and touched_ his voice echoed through their joined minds. Things changed then. The bond became deeper, more intense, the joy echoing through both their minds. In his mind, and therefore also hers, the vivid image of T'Kuht, the Watcher, was a witness to their bonding.

As soon as they slipped out of one another's minds, Maya could feel the emotions coursing between the two of them, a piece of him left behind inside her. She remembered the day Amanda had grabbed her hand and given her a sample of that which passed between her and Sarek. Yes, it was like that, just slightly different. It was her bond now, not someone else's. They were facing one another still on their knees and even in the cold of night, they were aroused.

She leaned in close to him almost shyly, kissed just his chin as she had the sensation of wading chest deep in the quicksand of emotions swirling around the both of them. She wanted to scream her love for him but didn't. She was Terran but she didn't come from a family that vented their emotions that way. Love was never spoken of openly; you just knew and knowing was enough. But he could feel it coming from her, the force of it, and since it remained unspoken it was like a crushing mountain.

He inhaled sharply through his teeth at the sensations this new bond was bringing about in his mind and body. It had not been this way before. It had to be because his Pon Farr was so near. It was an intense, not unpleasant, sensation. He would have taken her right there in the sand if he was not concerned about the cold night air feeling unpleasant to her skin.

"Come with me," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and helped lift her up off the ground.

They said nothing as they walked to his residence, his arms still around her. He brought her inside, closed the door, led her directly into his sleeping chamber. And there, they stared at one another for a short while as the tension between them built.

He'd seen the lack of experience in her mind. The attack was the only thing that had ever happened to her of a sexual nature. He was strangely grateful to her older sister and those of Mariana's brothers who'd taken revenge and killed the perpetrator. He knew it was improper of him to think of it this way, but he couldn't help it. That first experience, to him…it was involuntary, therefore it did not count. In his eyes, she'd been with no one else before him.

It was also important to him that she not be pushed into anything ever again. "If I promise not to touch you this night," he said, "will you simply stay with me? Do not leave my side. I ask only that you share my bed, sleep next to me."

She was confused. She saw his arousal through their bond. It was deep and unyielding. But he was worried about her, didn't want her to do anything she was not ready for. His worry was clouding out her arousal. She stepped closer to him. "I cannot promise to not touch _you_ tonight," she whispered. She could hardly breathe, her heart was beating so strongly.

And he finally saw for himself, she truly wanted to. Seeing it in her mind, that she actively wanted him, almost undid him. "I want to build this with you slowly," he admitted even as his desire was already ahead of him. He wanted to divest her of the thin nightwear over her curvy frame and taste, touch every part of her, cover every line and curve of her with his body, bring her pleasure she didn't know she was capable of feeling.

Maya saw what he wanted in her mind and found herself becoming a puddle of heat while standing before him. She reached up with one hand and grabbed the back of his neck, pulled him down to her until his face was just above hers. They stood forehead to forehead for a few seconds and then she reached up and kissed him tenderly on his lips. His reaction was involuntary. He accepted the kiss, drew it out. It became slower and longer than he'd meant it to be. The contact was so wonderful, so arousing, she had to hold back a moan. Then her full lips caught his upper lip while her tongue snaked over it and then pulled away lightly, her breath hot on his face.

That was the end of his noble intentions. With an unrestrained growl, he grabbed her to himself and gave an answering kiss of his own filled with lust and heat and deep dark possession. His tongue found its way into her mouth and she did find herself moaning that time. They were in his sleeping space a second later. Their bodies melded together a long time later after much exploring, tasting and biting, especially on his part. He honestly tried to hold out, but in the end he couldn't. Their bond was consummated.

####

Amanda's eyes almost crossed in anger as she spoke with Sarek later about the situation on hand involving Cassie. "But Dana is her cousin! Her first cousin. They grew up together for goodness sakes!" She couldn't believe it. "I know she's selfish, but- I don't understand, why would she do such a thing?"

"Dana seems to believe it well enough that Cassie is capable of such duplicity. And though the young Terran keeps a tight handle on what she sees as weak emotions, I could see her turmoil over this situation. She is deeply hurt."

Amanda nodded. "I feel terrible. I should have just left her there in the detention center."

"Amanda! You know what her fate would have been had you done so."

"She's trying to hurt people in our home! And I put her here! I feel so stupid for not seeing this ahead of time!"

"It is irrelevant. We are upon the situation. And still, we have no proof of it," admitted Sarek. "We have, at best, circumstantial evidence. But now we are on the watch for her next move."

She sighed and nodded. "Well that's good." They were in their bedroom about to turn in. She wanted to smile but was unsure of Sarek's reaction to what she was about to say. "Um…I just went to give Maya a good-night…"

He could sense Amanda's hilarity through the bond. "And?"

"And she isn't in there." She couldn't help but to giggle lightly.

Sarek simply stared back at his wife. He could guess what was happening between the petite curvy Terran and his cousin at that moment. It gave him thoughts of his own. "His intentions were honorable. So long as he has bonded with her, she may remain with him from this point onward if she so wishes."

Amanda began to casually remove her clothing to put them into the laundry basket she kept stored under an alcove in the bathroom. She didn't notice Sarek's heated glance as she first removed the outer and then inner robes. After he'd explained that she was supposed to be wearing clothing under her robes, he saw she was in fact wearing a light shirt and very light tan slacks underneath. He became slightly worried then, "My wife, do you find the additional clothing uncomfortable when you venture outside? Does it feel as if you will overheat?"

She nodded. "No. I'm hardly outside long enough, I think." And then she moved into the bathroom and began stuffing her robes into the laundry basket. "And Sarek, I don't care what you say, I'm not folding my laundry to put it into this basket before it's washed."

"But it is a more economic use of space," he said as his mind was only halfway on the conversation. She was out of his sight at that moment in their bathroom removing the last of her clothing, no doubt, to place into the basket. His wife at that very moment was probably almost undressed. He was trying to keep his mind off of that fact, trying not to go to her too often. She was not acclimated to his world and she needed rest. It was a harsh climate and gravity to adjust to and he could tell it still taxed her somewhat. But she was in their bathroom at that moment probably completely without clothing. He saw that, already, his rate of respiration was increasing.

She pulled the shirt over her head and put it into the basket. "It also leads to too much of a pile-up of dirty clothing. This way, after a day or two you go in and you say, 'Oh my goodness, look at this, I have to do laundry now'. Certainly you would think it's more efficient to take care of it sooner rather than later." She pulled off her slacks and stuffed them into the basket.

He no longer cared about the laundry. He cared more about the fact that his wife was probably divested of all clothing. "Amanda, are you about to shower?" he asked.

She frowned. Why would he ask that? "You know I shower every night," she said as she began removing her undergarments. "Why?"

"Perhaps you can delay that," he said.

"Is there something you wanted?" she asked absentmindedly as she threw the last of her undergarments into the laundry basket.

He just about stormed the bathroom, taking that question as an invitation to what he wanted, and found her bending over to pick up the top to the laundry basket. All he saw was skin and his vision turned green with want.

She detected his intention through the bond too late and found herself being charged from behind. He had her up against the bathroom wall from the backside, holding her arms up over her head as he rubbed himself against her. "Was that an invitation, Amanda?" he asked, his heated breath in her ear. She wasn't able to get out an answer because then his tongue was trailing her ear. "Round," he whispered. "So compelling. So different from mine. So exciting." And then he was biting her earlobe lightly while blowing a tuft of warm air into her ear.

The sensation speared straight through to her core and she was turned on instantly, almost ready for him. He sensed that, turned her around so fast she was dizzy and started to kiss and taste his way down her body. "I haven't showered yet!" she protested, embarrassed, knowing what he was about to do.

"Then you should taste even better," he said hotly as he continued downward. All she could do was moan with pleasure.

####

_I thought it only fair to warn you all, this is the last 'nice' chapter you might be getting in a while. After this, the stuff starts to hit the fan! - J.S._


	23. Ladies Night

_Originally this chapter didn't look like this. It has been written, scrapped and rewritten so many times. This is how it's worked itself out. - J.S._

Ladies Night

Sarek received an almost cryptic pre-recorded message from Demek the next morning before sunrise.

The face of the elder appeared on his office viewscreen. "I have unintentionally stumbled across something possibly very important. This event took place last week. It involves the Terran female prison situation—No. I do not wish to mislead you. The true meaning of what I wish to convey is I have quite possibly come across something that may alleviate the need for the Terran females for sometime, possibly entirely. I have gone to investigate. Do not be alarmed if you do not hear from me until the day following tomorrow, at the latest. If you do not hear from me by then, contact agents Sumar, Stilen, Toven and Zymak in the V'Shar and give them the information I have already sent to you via courier. This sensitive information shall reach your residence early tomorrow morning. It will detail all of my findings, but by no means should you open the package. At such time you shall hand it over to the V'Shar. If the information is incomplete by that time they will finish the investigation…they will have to since there will most likely be enough evidence for them to do so now. Demek Out."

He sat back, curious. What was Demek getting himself into? And why had he maneuvered things so that Sarek could not follow? A sense of frustration settled into his being. The V'Shar, of all agencies? Whatever it was, it had to have been a major development. But what could be so major the V'Shar, Vulcan Intelligence, would have to be involved? They remained in the shadows and their work was usually covert. Whatever had happened, it sounded as if Demek had found evidence, gone to them and they let him know he had not found enough for them to investigate. So he had, apparently, cast out and did his own digging to find enough so that they would. And for his own reasons he wanted those four agents on the case. If he lived to tell of what he knew.

And then there was today, or rather the approaching night, and what was about to happen. They would know by tonight whether Cassie was a potential bringer of ruin into his home or simply a listless, lazy young person in need of a stern talking-to. He had not had adequate time to get to know any of the lades he'd brought into his compound, save for Amanda, but the look on Dana's face when she realized what might be happening truly touched him. It was a wonder, given the barbarity of the Terran world, that any of the young ladies had emerged so well adjusted.

He wondered how Maya had gotten past the darkness and given herself to Sokam, especially in view of what was about to happen to his kinsman. How Mariana had managed to emerge unscathed entirely (he suspected her five older brothers had something to do with that), was nothing short of a miracle. Cassie was supposed to be the norm, but he knew she was not.

Amanda, she was even more of a miracle in his mind. She could have grown up with an air of superiority, just as Cassie had, feeling entitled to 'the good life'. She could have seen aliens as beneath her and here she was, married to one. He knew it was necessary to allow his wife to go out that night to finish their plans to catch Cassie in her own web, but he did not have to approve of it. He kept telling himself, it was in the interests of securing his house, of making certain of the safety of all its occupants, especially his Amanda. But it didn't make it sit any better in his mind.

He returned to his bedroom and watched his wife in slumber. The beginning stirs of _need _awoke in him as he saw that she had clutched the blankets up onto her and in the process her legs had come uncovered; her very well-formed legs. He surveyed them, his glance starting at the sole of her delicate foot and followed it up the slope of her slender, shapely calf, past the backs of her soft knees, to the middle of her lush thighs. He lay in bed next to her and watched as he saw the movement behind her eyelids which indicated that she was in a REM state. He could not, in good conscience, awaken his wife. She was sorely in need of rest after how badly he'd exhausted her the night before.

Instead he forced himself up, away from her, and donned his dark robes. Settling himself on the floor, he put himself into meditation. There were questions in his mind that needed resolution. While his wife obtained the rest she needed, he would seek the clarity of mind that was necessary to obtain the answers he needed.

####

Sokam awoke to find his bond mate no longer at his side. He sat up quickly, wanting to find her and saw she'd left him a note on the table next to his bed:

_I didn't want to leave your side this morning, Sokam but I know you have an exam at the VSA today. Study or meditate, whatever it is you're supposed to do before taking the test. I didn't want to distract you so I've gone back over to sleep in my own bed._

_Maya_

He felt disappointment deep in his stomach but he knew she was correct. He needed to center his mind before this exam. Bonding with her had brought him substantial time and control to protect him from the encroaching ravages of his first Pon Farr. He would have full concentration for the exam now. He had honestly forgotten about this side effect of having a bond mate, so intent had he been on securing Maya as his own simply because he wanted her.

He checked the bond between them, felt for her presence. Cool, reassuring. She was still asleep in her old bed at Sarek's home, he could tell. He would address her sleeping arrangements later, but for then he went to get his robes so he could meditate before his exam. Today would determine if he would be accepted to the Vulcan Science Academy to study so he could become a Healer. He had the telepathic ability, but whether his control was stringent enough was the question. There was bias because of his V'Tosh upbringing, but with his bond securing him now he was confident he would make it. Had it not been for Demek, he doubted he would even have made it through the door to sit the exams.

He was also unsure of this plan that evening for them to catch the arrogant young woman, Cassie. But he had faith Maya would be fine with Shin present and Zurel in the shadows.

####

Amanda awoke with a purpose. The first thing she wanted to do was establish a daily class for the Terran members of her household who were interested in learning to speak the Vulcan language. She sent messages to Maya, Dana, Mariana and Shin's comms and awaited an official answer. She also sent a request for Zurel's help for those times she would need it. She knew she would have at least one taker so she began putting together lesson plans and ordering study guides. It felt good to be in 'teacher' mode again.

Then she sat behind the console and searched the Vulcan net for anyone offering to teach colloquial standard. Strangely enough, there was one. A school about an hour to the north of them. She went to their site and checked them out. Apparently the school had two teachers, a Vulcan male and a Terran female. She had a suspicion it was one of the first two Terran/Vulcan marriages and her stomach thrilled at the thought of meeting the female. But her eyes alighted on one very important fact. They were looking for _a third teacher_! Amanda submitted her resume quickly and felt a streak of satisfaction go through her. It never occurred to her she might be able to seek employment in such a mixed setting. Maybe that wasn't the only one. Casting her net outside the Terran world might prove more interesting than she thought.

She went to hunt down something to eat since her stomach was rumbling and came across an exhausted looking Maya exiting her room. _Not in her room last night, but snuck back into the house this morning? I gotcha!_ "How are _you_ doing?" Amanda asked while stifling a laugh, but a grin was on her face.

Her friend's tired face split into a mischievous grin with her own case of subdued laughter. "Um…all right."

They continued walking to the kitchen as Amanda decided she was going to have fun with her friend a little more. "So…did you…_do_ anything last night after everyone went to bed?"

"Um…maybe I did and maybe I didn't…do something." Maya wondered just how much Amanda knew. Her mind was so exhausted her abilities were temporarily out-of-order. It was a wonderful side effect of either bonding so recently or mind-numbing sex, she had no idea which, and she wondered how long it would last. She kept her hand to the side of her neck where Sokam had, apparently, marked her for everyone to see. She had a brief flashback of how it happened and her face flamed up. She'd given up trying to hide the mark with her clothing twenty minutes before. Her hand would have to do for now.

Amanda noticed the hand covering whatever was under it. She suspected what it was. "So, you look really _tired_ this morning. Were you exercising last night? You know, _before_ you went to sleep?"

"Maybe."

"So then you must be pretty…sore? Exercise does that, makes you really _sore_." Amanda could no longer hold back her laughter. "And what's with the hand on the neck? Is your neck sore, too?"

Maya finally dropped the hand as she felt the sensation of an even deeper blush hit her face. The silly grin was still there and grew worse.

"Ooh, that's a beauty!" Amanda said. "Look at mine!" She turned and held up her hair, and there was a very prominent mark on the back of her neck.

Maya found herself gasping in surprise. "Wow. It almost looks like mine!"

"To what are you referring?" asked a curious Sarek as he entered the kitchen area.

All he knew was Amanda's face turned a wonderful shade of red as she laughed and Maya let out a tiny scream as she covered her neck and tried to bolt from the kitchen. Amanda held fast to her and pulled down her hand. "This!" she said as she pointed to Maya's neck.

Sarek nodded, matter-of-factly, "She has been marked as a bonded woman." And continued on his way to the refrigeration unit.

Maya couldn't take her other hand from her face. She was embarrassed not just at the mark, but the happiness she knew was radiating off of her like a sun. "I'm hungry," was all she said as she forced herself to put her hand down, still unable to lose the huge grin on her face.

"After that much activity, I'm sure you are," Amanda remarked, not able to help it.

####

Mariana and Dana left for their workday as usual. Cassie did not go with them, she only sat at home waiting for the 'shocking' news. An open smile was on her face since no one else was there to see it. She was just glad that soon she would get to go home!

When the day ended, Mariana _and_ Dana came through the front door. Her eyes almost crossed. "What?" she asked in disbelief.

They both looked at her. She was so preoccupied with staring at Dana, she didn't realize Mariana looked as if she wanted to punch her in the face. "What?" asked Dana. "Did you ask me something?"

"Oh, I was just trying to ask what kind of day you had?" Cassie recovered quickly.

"It was great!" Dana declared with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. "And guess what? I got tickets to this hot club in the Terran section. They play turn of the 20th Century house, club and techno music. It's called Club Energy. Isn't that great? Great for dancing, anyway."

Cassie nodded. "Yeah, that's great."

"So you wanna go?" asked Dana.

She tried to shrug nonchalantly while wondering what had gone wrong. Did the squad not pick her up like they were supposed to? They were Vulcans, they were supposed to be efficient! "Who else is going?" she asked.

"I'm going," said Mariana as she walked toward the back of the house.

"I'm going to see if Maya and Amanda wants to go, too. We can have our first Ladies Night here! We're going to go to Shin and Zurel's for dinner first. Want to come?" asked Dana.

Cassie declined, as she always did. "No, thanks. I'm going to stay here. I have to make a phone call, anyway."

Mariana came back from her room. She and Dana left the house to catch dinner with their guy friends…and to give Cassie more time to gather even more rope to hang herself with. She did just that.

Going to the house console, she dialed the toll free connection to Terra Prime and asked for Agent 52. He came on the line instantly. "Why is she still _around_?" were the first words out of Cassie's mouth.

"I already told you, if she wasn't there when the squad went to pick her up, the case is closed." He looked at the file. "She was out to lunch when they went to pick her up, according to this. She's home now so it's too late-"

"It's still 'today' and she won't be home for long. She's going to the Terran section tonight!"

He sighed tiredly. "I'm going to be honest with you. We've already determined everything that needs to be determined from her. There's nothing else here. Chances are she would only have been picked up, detained, questioned and then released again, you know that, don't you? Chances were slim to none that you would have had the label of Thought Crime removed from you under those circumstances."

She was in a panic. No, she had most certainly _not_ known that! "She has contacts," said Cassie, desperately. "She _admitted_ it to me. They're all on Terra Prime. The guys that questioned us were so lax in their jobs, they didn't even lean on us the way they did Amanda. And from what I heard, they didn't even lean on Maya _at all_! Dana told about the drop box because it was so easy to give it up. She knew they would go for it and leave us alone after that! She knew they wouldn't find anything! I think they even switch locations and never use the same one twice."

He seemed to think about what she was saying. "You're telling me _now_ the interrogators did a poor job?"

"I most certainly am! They looked more like they were ready to go home when we were brought in and they didn't even care what they didn't find out since she gave them the drop box so easily." Her eyes were pleading in their desperation. She was beyond pride. She wanted to go HOME!

"All right. She'll be in the Terran section tonight? What time?"

"Probably in like two or three hours or something."

"We'll set the pick-up time for six hours from now. The orders will go through instantaneously. But if she's not there-" he said, warning in his eyes.

"She'll _be_ there," said Cassie.

"If we don't find anything out from her that's useful the deal is off and your label sticks."

"If you don't find anything out from her I can _dig_ something up," she assured him with a confident face. "Everyone's got something to hide, right?"

He pretended he hadn't heard a word she'd said. "What's the name of the club?"

It took her a second to remember. "Energy. Club Energy."

####

Maya looked at the dress being held out in front of her. She'd gone to Mariana and Dana's to get ready. It was a semi-exciting night, if she could avoid the thought that they were trying to see whether or not Cassie was a big fat traitor. She studied the dress again that Mariana was holding out with a big grin. "I got this for you. Put it on."

The last time Maya let Mariana dress her she'd wound up crawling out of a club on her hands and knees since she was being pursued by a mobster very attracted to what she happened to be not wearing. Her friend seemed to know what she was thinking of. "Oh, it won't be like that night!" she insisted. "At least this time your stomach will be covered."

Maya snatched the dress from her almost indignantly and went into the bathroom to put it on. She was doing this tonight for Dana. She was also annoyed because her telepathic abilities were back again, full force. Temporary side-effect over. Oh well.

Amanda saw her dress was quite modest with a lovely flared skirt, but it was an eye-catching candy red color. It at least looked as if it reached just below her knee. "I don't know about this," she said haltingly, never a fan of show-off clothing.

"Just put it on!" said Dana who was already dressed in something that should have been considered illegal on any planet. Dana was wearing a crème colored dress that bared both shoulders. The back of said dress had a well crafted hook that secured the dress onto her body, but only just covered her upper back region. The rest of her back was bare to all eyes. Her midriff was exposed and even though the dress reached her mid-thigh, due to her heels and height she still had legs for days. She looked stunning, as usual.

Mariana wore a cute peach dress. The dress showed off her shapely legs and nothing more. It was apart of her new theory of modesty. Show off one asset and leave the rest to the imagination.

"I wish Demek were coming with us," Amanda said.

"That'd be a riot!" Dana agreed.

"Whose he?" asked Cassie.

The rest of the ladies simply looked at one another and giggled, leaving Cassie out of the joke. They had all concluded they were in love with the old man and wanted to adopt him.

Cassie, almost fortuitously, wore black. After Maya left the bathroom in her modest but very curve-hugging navy blue number and heels, they were ready to leave.

The club was jumping when they arrived. The bouncer at the door saw the group of four ladies and let them right in. Terran males outnumbered them 3 to 1 on Vulcan. So whenever women got in line at Club Energy, they were let right in.

Cassie looked at her wrist chronometer. The squad would be there for Dana in about two hours. In the meantime, they all had drinks. Maya intentionally had something non-alcoholic. She couldn't hold liquor to save her life, so she'd given up on it a long time before. Amanda restricted herself to one drink, but Mariana was famous for overindulging. The DJ was taking a mini break, so they could actually hear one another speak. "Not tonight," said Maya as she pulled the second drink from in front of Mariana.

"Why not?" asked her friend, almost pouting.

If Mariana was allowed to drink as usual she would be spilling the plan about Cassie in less than an hour. Maya loathed doing something like this, but she temporarily lowered her telepathic shields, put her hand on Mariana's and looked her in the eye. "You don't need another drink right now."

Suddenly, Mariana was convinced. "Wow. You're right, I don't!" She stood up as the DJ walked back into his booth and was about to start another set. "I want to dance!" she exclaimed.

Some passing guy overheard her and grabbed onto her hand as the music started and whipped her into the already forming crowd of gyrating bodies. The rest of the ladies laughed as she looked at them from the dance floor, confused at first, and then saw her partner was gorgeous. She decided to go with the flow.

"Anybody else ready to dance?" asked Dana as she stood. The minute she did every eye in the place was on the barely dressed statuesque bombshell.

"And she's intelligent, too," quipped Maya to Amanda with a serious nod as she raised both eyebrows.

Amanda wound up laughing into her straw and her drink bubbled over. "Maya!" she exclaimed.

"Come on!" said Dana to the rest of her companions. "Let's do this right, ladies."

Shin walked in, then, since he'd agreed to escort them all that night. He almost hadn't made it in until he flashed his bodyguard ID. He took his seat at the booth they were starting to vacate and grinned at the reaction all of the men were having over Dana. It certainly would have been fun to throw himself into the circle of the lovely ladies dancing, but he was on duty that night. Then he looked at Cassie and wondered what was going on in that girl's head at that very moment.

Cassie was on the dance floor and looked at her chronometer, again. One hour left. After two songs, she needed to sit down. It was the most exertion she'd had in weeks. The gravity of the planet was so high and the air so much thinner than she was used to, she still hadn't acclimated to it. She was winded. After a few more songs Dana, then Amanda, then Mariana sat down. Maya liked to dance. Anytime she began, she couldn't stop. By the time she sat down for a rest, she was so sweaty she looked as if she'd been running a marathon.

"You got skills," joked Dana as the rest of the table laughed.

Shin had his communicator on vibrate mode and felt it buzz on his leg. He stood. "One second, ladies. Zurel is calling me."

He walked away from the table. The four ladies shared a look with one another that Cassie was still too tired to notice. The dancing had truly made her exhausted. She hoped they would come and pick Dana up soon so she could go home and go to sleep.

Shin rushed back in. "Let's go, ladies."

"What? Where?" asked Cassie, alarmed.

"I just got a call from a reliable source. It looks like the Vulcans are going to raid the place in less than ten minutes. Zurel thinks there might be something wrong with the liquor license."

The five ladies stood hurriedly and rushed to leave and Cassie wondered if everything was about to be shot to hell for her.

They hit the parking lot and they could see Zurel waiting in front of the shuttle for them. There was another shuttle across from it. It was all black and had Vulcan writing on it. About five Vulcan guards, Turan being the head of them, were exiting it and quickly surrounding the five ladies.

"We have a warrant for a Terran young woman named Dana Philo," said Turan. Everyone froze. No one said a word. "According to the description of the female-" He looked at them all. "I remember your faces from the detention center and it is obviously one of you, do you deny it?" he asked. In the back of his mind, he was full of agony over what Dana was wearing. How many males had seen her in that dress? Or more accurately, lack of dress.

Cassie's index finger shot out and pointed straight at her cousin. "It's her! Her name is Dana Philo!"

_Reviews are greatly appreciated and they motivate me to get my booty in gear. *hint hint*_


	24. Drama, Part I

_A/N - Aagghh! This chapter wound up being LONGER than it was supposed to, but it just went on and on. Sorry!_

Drama, Part I

Zurel saw what was about to happen and quickly grabbed Mariana from behind. His arms locked around her like a steel cage holding her in place. The young Terran was about to charge at Cassie to most likely inflict some form of bodily harm. But he couldn't allow her do that. "Do not," he whispered into her ear. "It must play out how it must play out."

She stood there, anger radiating off of her as she relaxed little by little. Really her struggles had been as nothing to Zurel. It was like trying to wrestle with a pillar of stone, he was so much stronger than her physically. She liked that. Mariana was taken off guard by the thought. He was handsome but never once had she looked at him or any Vulcan that way.

Turan himself stepped forward and took Dana by the arm. "So this is how it is," said Dana to her cousin.

Cassie shrugged. "Why spend half the night out here checking our identities when they'll eventually find out it's you anyway?"

Dana only laughed, but there was no mirth in it. "I see."

As they took Dana away, the three remaining ladies and Shin stared Cassie down. Zurel refused to look at her as he let Mariana go. "Oh, so _what_?" Cassie said to them. "It's true. They would have found out which one was Dana, eventually."

"We must leave, everyone," Zurel recalled them all to their senses. "We must go home and inform the ambassador of what has happened." Stages one through three of the plan had worked out exactly as predicted, although none of them ever expected Cassie to actually point her cousin out. That was an honest shock to everyone present. But it wasn't over yet. It was time for stage four.

Everyone piled into the shuttle. But no one sat next to or even looked at Cassie all the way home.

####

As soon as they arrived at the compound, Cassie made her way back to the house she'd been sharing with Dana and Mariana. She snorted to herself. Well only Mariana from now on. She would be going home soon, though, so it didn't really make a difference.

She was surprised when Zurel came to collect her and bring her to the house fifteen minutes later. She had already showered and changed clothing so didn't object to going with him. She knew she might get upbraided for pointing her cousin out so quickly, but really that's all people knew for sure that she'd done. It didn't _really_ matter. The end result would have been the same. It would have been just stupid to stand there all night in the cold desert air waiting to determine which young woman was the one they were supposed to pick up. At least that was what she kept telling herself.

As soon as she entered the ambassador's home she felt a mood hit her that was something along the lines of a winter chill. Ambassador Sarek was standing at the far end of the room. She couldn't read anything off of his expression, as usual. But it was plainly on the faces of the others; Amanda, Maya, Mariana, Shin, they couldn't stand her. Zurel stood just in front of the door as if blocking her exit and his face was as impassive as the ambassador's.

"Sit down, please, Cassie," said the Sarek in an almost conciliatory tone. But Amanda saw what lay beneath her husband's façade. He was most certainly not in an easygoing mood.

As she sat, she wondered exactly what he was going to say. Really she didn't care. She was just so ready to go home and knew this was only a temporary inconvenience. They had nothing on her, after all.

"Why did you give your cousin up so easily, this evening?" asked Sarek.

"I figured why stand out there all night when it's all going to come out to them taking her away anyhow?"

He nodded. "I see. May I ask if you are aware how the guards were able to ascertain Dana's exact whereabouts?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know. They're really efficient? How am I supposed to know what information they get?"

"I have just now spoken to the head of the guard detail that went to pick up Dana and he sent me a copy of the pick-up report pertaining to her."

She sat there, waiting for him to say something else. "So?"

His mouth flattened out into a line. He tossed something at the ground just next to her feet. "You may now ask me what that is," he said, his voice level, but on edge. When a little bit of time passed and she didn't say anything, he requested again, more pointedly, "Ask—Me—What—That—_Is_."

She began to feel the stirrings of intimidation inside and opened her mouth. "What is that?"

"It's a download of the information from the subspace console of your guest residence. You may ask me what I found on it."

She swallowed nervously. "What did you find on it?"

"I have discovered a number that was called a few hours ago and I was able to trace it in less than five minutes to- Who is Agent 52 on Terra Prime?"

She swallowed again. "How should I know?" she lied.

He had spent too many years as an ambassador and could tell she was lying to him. "Is it a coincidence that Agent 52 was on the pick-up request form of the guard detail that went to retrieve Dana this evening?"

Cassie denied what he was saying. "It wasn't me. It was probably her!" she said as she pointed at Mariana.

Mariana's eyes went wide and before she could take three steps, Shin found himself stepping in front of the angry girl. "Not now. Wait a second," he said to the young lady who'd become one of his best friends.

"Two lies," said Sarek. "That is quite interesting since Shin himself has told me that during the time of this call both Dana and Mariana were having dinner with himself and Zurel."

"Then it could have been anyone else! Maya maybe or Aman-"

"Cease speaking." His voice hadn't risen, but there was something about him that gave off the aura of an ion storm forming. "The disturbing thing to me is if you would turn in a member of your family that you experienced such formative years with simply for personal gain, you would betray anyone on this property. I demand loyalty and privacy from all who remain on any part of my residence."

She didn't say anything but wondered what he would do now.

"Since you've brought the integrity of others into this, tomorrow morning we shall put in to speak with this Agent 52 to determine who his contact in this house happened to be. And afterward, we will make other arrangements to have you removed from my home. I signed off on your release and I do not have to continue to have it so," he said.

"Well I'm going home now so it doesn't matter anyway!"

"You are certain of that?" he asked. The ambassador looked over at Maya and nodded once.

Cassie looked just a little bit unsure as the front door opened and there stood Sokam. "They are here," said the ambassador's cousin. His eyes quickly swept up and down his bondmate only once in the form-fitting blue dress as he moved to allow Turan and Dana entrance to the home, then followed them inside. He quietly took up a place in front of the door next to Zurel.

As they walked inside, Cassie exclaimed, "What!"

Dana walked up and slapped her only once, but hard. "I hope you get to go home soon, you treacherous bitch," she said in a low angry voice.

Cassie's face crumbled solely from the look her cousin was giving her, never mind the slap delivered to her face. Dana had always been so much stronger than her, so much more beautiful. She never let on, but Cassie had always resented that about her. "How did you get out?" she asked, still in disbelief. Her cousin had always been so damned lucky, as well!

"Her pick-up, it turned out, was illegal," answered Turan. "According to our laws there will be no pick-ups by non-correction staff. Since my team was not correction staff, she could not be held."

"Oh, as if you didn't realize that ahead of time!" charged Cassie.

Sarek stood, walked straight to her and his eyes bore a hole of condemnation into her. She cowered. "Remove yourself from my sight," he said as quietly as he could, still maintaining his staunch control.

Cassie bolted from the house and ran to the guest house she'd been staying in since she'd gotten there.

####

All of the ladies were positively gutted about the goings-on of that night. It was one thing to expect something like that to happen, but to have it confirmed? They were all in a pretty low mood. They agreed to get changed and then meet up outside that night to talk everything out under the light of T'Kuht. Except Dana didn't want to go home, not even to change clothes.

"Hey, we'll get you a change of clothes from our stuff," Shin reassured Dana.

"You're okay with that?" she asked with a half smile.

"Sure," he said. "Anything for you two ladies. You eat my cooking _and_ you don't complain about it!" Dana found herself laughing almost against her will. Shin was an excellent cook.

"Me, too?" asked Mariana. "I don't even want to go in that house and see her right now."

"We'll get some clothes for you, too," said Shin as he and Zurel headed back home to pick everything up.

"Go with them," said Dana to her roommate. "I have to thank Turan."

"Guys, wait up!" said Mariana as she ran after the two of them.

She turned to the waiting Vulcan who had remained mysteriously silent toward her all evening. "I want to thank you for getting involved in all of this. You could have just done your job and not said anything."

Turan finally spoke to her for the first time that night. "Did you not declare that I was yours?"

She smiled as her face turned a deep shade of red. "That isn't fair. I didn't know you could hear me that day."

"And yet, it is done. You are a strong female," he said as he looked her in the eyes. "I find you compelling in more way than one. You are highly intelligent. And you have declared yourself my owner, so it is only logical that I am also yours."

"You're saying this, because?"

"I could not, logically, stand by and say nothing and allow she who has declared herself mine fall into a folly such as this." He then looked her up and down. "But I must confess I find your mode of dress this evening disturbingly immodest. And you are now about to don clothing from not one, but two other males."

Dana found herself grinning despite the obvious insult. "Yes, I am quite naked, aren't I?" she said shamelessly while not even acknowledging the wearing of Shin and Zurel's clothing.

"If we are to belong to one another you must know that I will not tolerate other men seeing what is mine."

She found herself putting her hand on her hip. "Oh, I see! So now you _own_ me?"

"Yes. And you own _me_," he confirmed as he stepped closer. "And I will tolerate no rival for your affections who is called to you because of the way your body is on display."

Dana found herself opening and closing her mouth several times trying to mount a defense. First she couldn't believe her ears. Second…she just couldn't believe her ears! And third, he was standing so close and he smelled so right she felt like she wanted to just reach out and grab him. Then she remembered why he was there that night. "This is not really a fair conversation to be having right now. I'm not in my right mind, yet."

He stepped away from her. "You are correct. You have been through something bruising to your emotions this evening. I must be mindful of that. We will desist until some later date."

She then asked, "Well what if I don't agree with your assessment of the state of 'us'?"

"You should not have claimed me," he said. "I will experience a degree of difficulty letting you go, but ultimately the choice truly is yours. I will leave you to consider this, but in the meantime you are still _mine_. Therefore I must insist from this time forward that you dress appropriately." And then he simply turned away and was gone.

"Well I'll be damned," Dana said under her breath as he left the property.

####

Maya was followed to her room by Sokam. She felt it through the bond, he was quite eager to be alone with her. As the door closed behind them, she turned as he grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall, his arms placed on either side of her. His eyes searched hers first and saw the answering note of desire in them. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to, he knew, as he began kissing her with tenderness. "My wife," he breathed into her mouth between kisses. "I have wished to be with you this way all of today."

Her heart jumped at his words as she found herself giving her lips over to his again and again as their kisses grew longer, deeper, hotter. He then snaked his tongue into her mouth and she moaned as her knees became weak. His body sandwiching her to the wall was the only thing holding her up.

"Your dress," he said as his hands began to rub at the smooth material covering her hips. "It fits your form exquisitely. I do not care for others to see my wife thus," he admitted as he began to kiss his way down her jaw and then onto her neck.

"I didn't show anything considered immodest," she protested, her arms around him, one hand rubbing the base of his neck, urging his kisses to continue.

"I am aware of that," he breathed into her mouth as he claimed her lips again. "However, the dress shows how delightfully ripe you are, all over," he said as he pulled away from her and his hot gaze brushed up and down her form. Her full breasts were outlined clearly as well as her well formed hips. "You will remove it, at once," he declared as he manhandled the dress up and over her head so fast and threw it across the room all she had time to feel was a slight breeze hit her body.

"Sokam!" she exclaimed. "I have to go back outside-"

"Not in that garment, you shall not. And I promise I will not keep you long, although I wish to," he said as his arms came up to wrap around her. He then slowly slid his hands down the back of her until he was cupping her ample backside, pushing her firmly into the front of him.

Lost in the moment for a few seconds, she then remembered. "Your exam?" she whispered.

"I passed," he said as if it were nothing. Turning her from the wall, he backed her up and then gently lowered her to her bed. Covering his body with hers, he began kissing her again, this time achingly slow, his lips gently caressing her lips. His tongue sucked her lower lip into his mouth for a second then morphed that into a deeper kiss, his tongue moving seductively against hers. "Your lips intoxicate me," he whispered.

"Oh no, I'm sweaty," she protested weakly, eyes half open. She felt a river of emotions as he began to trail hot kisses down the skin of her chin, neck and chest. "I should get cleaned up first."

He came to her upper abdomen and listened with satisfaction to her sharp intake of breath as he tasted the sweaty skin there. "Delicious," he whispered. He realized what she'd said almost belatedly. "Why were you sweating, _adun'a_?"

"I was dancing," she said.

His form quickly covered hers fully as he grabbed both of her arms and held them over her head via her wrists. "With whom were you dancing?" he asked, his eyes dangerously territorial.

Her arousal point went through the roof even as she was annoyed at his reaction. "Don't be so jealous! I danced by myself mostly, but I danced with the girls, too. There were men there that asked me to dance with them and-"

He growled and then bit into her clavicle, making a fresh marking on her skin.

"- I told them no," she said breathlessly.

His mouth was on hers now, harder, even more eager. Their bond flared to life and she could feel his intense need of her. She could also feel his obvious arousal and shifted, opened herself to him more. Placing her legs around his hips, she pulled him into her center even more. An involuntary moan came from her as he bit at another spot on her neck and then sucked. She allowed her mental shields to drop and was bombarded by him; his lust, his want, his need, his…possession? It didn't turn her off. In fact it heated things up even more as her hips began moving beneath his. He was still clothed and she knew her teasing was unbearable for him.

"There is a punishment for this kind of torture," he warned almost breathlessly as he sensed her own need, love and mounting arousal through the bond.

"Is there?" she asked, her eyes full of heat.

"I do not have time to administer it, now, my wife, since I have already promised not to keep you overly long. But tomorrow, I shall."

Maya found herself swallowing with anticipation. "And now?"

He found himself more than ready to give himself over to her fully. "What I shall give to you now will be more than sufficient," he whispered as he began removing his robes from his body without separating from her.

####

Mariana had been the first able to shower and then change. By then, Dana was at Zurel and Shin's and also able to shower and dress. Zurel forced the two to at least ingest some fruit before they exited their home. "It has been a strenuous night," he said to them both as he pressed fruit into Dana's hand and then Mariana's. "You must eat something now."

"Thanks, dude," said Dana.

Mariana nodded her thanks and simply looked at him, curious about something but for once mysteriously quiet. "Let's go," she said to Dana.

The two sat outside in the light of the ascending planet. There was enough light to see the landscape for quite a ways. Amanda straggled outside about twenty minutes after they had.

"Where's Maya?" asked Dana.

"I, um, went to her room and was about to knock when I realized she was…still getting ready." Amanda's features said nothing but she knew what she'd heard. Maya had been alternately sobbing her bondmate's name and gasping in unmistakable pleasure from what she could hear.

But Dana grinned. "She's was 'getting ready', all right!"

"Dana!" gasped Mariana.

"What do you want? She's a newlywed and they haven't seen each other all day. Plus that dress you put her in, he probably wasn't liking the way that thing fit her…well more like how good that thing fit her. Maya's got a serious body on her."

"Well why would he care?" asked Mariana, confused.

"Vulcans are _so_ jealous," said Dana.

"How do you know?" asked Amanda.

"Because TDH has decided to hold my words against me."

"NO!" said Mariana as Amanda asked, "What happened!"

Dana grinned. "Mariana, I need your word of secrecy on this. Well we can tell Maya, but that's it."

"Of course."

She smiled mischievously. "I got told off tonight about what I was wearing at the club. He gave me the complete cold shoulder for the longest before then on our way back here alone in the shuttle. And then I was informed that if I could declare him as mine, then I was his and he did not want _his_ woman on display that way again. In his exact words, I was warned to 'dress appropriately'." She said the last two words with a very Vulcan vocal inflection.

Mariana was shocked as Amanda laughed out loud. "But they strike me as so cold and uncaring about…everything," said Mariana.

"I know several ways to alleviate yourself of _that_ assumption," said Dana. "Step one, get involved with a Vulcan. Step two, knowingly wear the wrong thing. You'll be on lockdown, quick."

The three ladies laughed as Mariana asked. "Well do they enjoy things like sex?"

Both ladies laughed out loud as Amanda asked, "Who doesn't?"

"Mariana's a virgin, she doesn't know any better, Amanda."

"You told!" said Mariana, blushing.

"You know I won't say a word to anyone," said Amanda.

"Well I suspect not only are they good at sex, they excel at it," said Dana. "I only have an elementary knowledge of Vulcan psychology, but once Demek gives me those books I'll be able to delve more into the Vulcan psyche." She turned to Amanda with a twinkle in her eyes. "So what do you say about my statement, Amanda, do they excel at it?"

She laughed and nodded. "My lips are sealed."

"I guess I'll have to have at it with my own Vulcan," giggled Dana as they all saw Maya coming out to them.

"Hi, guys!" she said, her face beaming like the sun.

"Oh, look at her, she's glowing!" teased Dana.

"What are you guys talking about?" said Maya as she plopped down in the sand with them. Everyone was wearing sweaters over their clothing. Maya was wearing Vulcan robes since they'd turned out to be so warm compared to anything else she could have donned.

"You getting torn up by your Vulcan husband," said Dana with a grin. Maya let out a low screamed of embarrassment and then covered her mouth.

"No, we weren't discussing that!" said Amanda with a grin. Then she quickly filled Maya in on Dana's current predicament.

"Oh my goodness," whispered Maya. "What are you gonna do?"

She sighed and honestly said, "I don't know. I have to think about that really hard. I have to assess my life here, what I hope to accomplish, what I think I'm capable of. I'm under the assumption that anything that happens between us would be considered very serious by him, not casual in any way. Am I right about that?" she asked as she looked between the two women married to Vulcans.

Amanda was the one that answered. "By the time a Vulcan says something to you, he's in it to win it for life. So you're right, think hard about it. And yes, he _will_ want to kill anyone who comes near you in that way. I'm only just beginning to understand that they can't help it. It's hardwired into their brains."

"Well he's going to date me first, I've already decided that. But if I'm honest with myself, I already said I was done with Terran men. And I mean it. Terran men and me are history. I don't want to hurt Turan so I have to think this through first before I get back to him."

They all sat around and said nothing for a short time. Maya found herself dropping her mental shield to check on Dana. "Dana," she whispered after a short time. "How do you feel?"

Dana looked down at her lap and her face screwed up into a grimace. "Not too great," she admitted. She found herself reaching out to take Maya's hand.

Maya took the hand held out to her and could detect feelings of betrayal, loss and confusion. Dana was doing a darn good job of hiding it, though. "I'm so sorry, Dana," she whispered. "I wish it didn't have to happen this way."

The group came together to hug Dana as tears threatened to roll down her face. "I grew up with her. Sometimes we even spent whole summers together as kids. We were best friends for a long time. How do I get past that?"

"You don't," said Amanda as everyone returned to sitting in their own places. Thinking of the hurtful actions of her own father she said, "You let time take care of it."

The beautiful blonde sighed shakily as she wiped at her eyes trying to keep the tears from actually falling from them. "Let's talk about the future," said Dana as she continued to wipe her eyes. "What are you guys plans?" They all knew a diversionary tactic when they saw one. She was trying to handle the situation by moving forward.

"I need to get a real job," said Mariana. "I'm a nurse. Why am I bussing tables?"

"You said you hated nursing," Amanda reminded her.

"I know, but I could make so much more money as a nurse in a Terran hospital here or something. Then I could buy an apartment or something and stop living on Sarek's dime."

"Sarek enjoys having all of you here. But as far as jobs, there's always other options," Amanda said seriously.

"Like?" asked Mariana.

"Like phone-ho," said Dana out of nowhere, eyes mostly dry by then.

"What?" Mariana and Amanda screamed laughing. They were all laughing so hard at that point, tears were rolling down all of their faces.

"They mentioned that in one of my history classes. That was the slang for phone-sex operators in the old days," Maya gasped out while laughing. "Except now we call them subspace communication enter-_tainers_!"

"I like phone-ho better!" Dana quipped.

"Me, too!" agreed Amanda. They all had to calm down from the laughter as they thought seriously about what they wanted for their futures. "So Mariana wants go back to nursing. I think I'd like to make the first Terran-Vulcan hybrid baby," said Amanda with a grin. "That and teach colloquial Standard to Vulcans," she laughed. "Honestly, I just want to give Sarek a child. Boy or girl, it doesn't matter to me. And I think I could still keep my job after I had him or her. I mean, why not? Women have been doing that for centuries." She then asked Maya, "What about you?"

"I think I'll wait a few years for babies. I know I want to find my way in Vulcan society first since I'm sort of banned from Terrans from hereon out. I need to learn the language, get some kind of job. I could have joined the Imperial Fleet as a specialist, but yuck. No thanks. I could have gone back to school for more history courses, got a grad degree. Being attached to Sokam has at least honed some of my abilities and made me concentrate better, but it's made the others go out of control."

"Abilities?" asked Dana.

"She's a telepath," said Mariana.

"How did you know?" asked Maya, amazed.

"I've known you long enough. I figured that out by the time we were in our late teens."

"You are?" asked Dana, eyes wide. "Do you know how invaluable a therapist you'd be with that ability? Go back to school for psychology and use it!"

Maya frowned. Amanda threw in, "Using it on others hurts her."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry," said Dana.

"Don't be! I love you guys so much," said Maya. "I know you'd never hurt me on purpose."

"Oh my God! She said the 'L' word!" declared Amanda. "This girl _never_ tells anyone she loves them!"

"Why not?" asked Dana, putting on her psychology hat.

"My family…they're just not like that," shrugged Maya.

"If you guys don't mind, I'd like to at some point interview you on what it's like to be bonded to people who control their emotions so stringently," said Dana.

"That's fine with me," said Maya.

Amanda smirked. "Why don't you just rope Turan in and find out on your own?"

Dana giggled. "You're crazy! He didn't say anything about bonding with me!"

"He will!" laughed Maya.

"And by the way," said Amanda, "who is up for learning Vulcan?"

"Oh, I got your message!" said Mariana. "I'll come to class."

"Me, too," said Dana.

"I third that!" joked Maya. She was smiling one minute, then the smile abruptly left her face and she turned to look at the outer stone wall surrounding the property. Someone, some mind, was casting out in an almost panic. Before she realized what she was doing, Maya was up and running toward the gate. The person was hurt, in pain and… She gasped. "Demek!"

**_The 'Drama' Series is looking like it's going to be anywhere from a 3-5 parter. It all takes place over the course of the same night. I'll try my best to upload each one within 24-48 hours of one another since it's from the same time sequence. Review and let me know if it is 'drama' enough for you._**


	25. Drama, Part II

Disclaimer: I've borrowed a creature from the trek world. I do not own anything from the works of any other authors, nor do I own Vulcans, Star Trek, The Mirror Universe and anything else that I've confiscated to make my story more interesting! I don't make any money off this, just grins when I'm able to get as** evil** as I can in the context of these stories.

Warning: There's a disturbing death at the very end of this chapter by an animal attack. If you can't take that sort of thing, **DON'T READ IT**.

Drama, Part II

The other ladies arrived at the entrance section of stone wall right after Maya did. As Amanda unlocked the door section of the gate, in walked their beloved Demek. He was clutching his chest and obviously controlling the look on his face with all of his might. But two things were unmistakable to the ladies: He was visibly bleeding in the light of T'Kuht from the area he was holding so staunchly and his walk was more of a concentrated shuffle.

As he fell to the smoothly paved ground, the ladies, except for Mariana, screamed. Mariana went into nurse mode. "Someone, I need about two clean towels, a strong antiseptic, even high-proof alcohol will do in its place. Bring me a hard plastic card, like the kind we use for data credit swipes. And bring me a high-insulation blanket, it's cold out here! Until then, someone give me something right now to staunch the flow of blood," she said in an even tone as she began to cut away Demek's robe over the wound with a little knife she kept on her for protection at all times.

Maya tried to tear off a piece of her robes, but it was much too strong a material for her to rip so easily. Dana took off her sweater and eagerly handed it over to Mariana. "This is going to hurt," Mariana whispered to Demek, "I'm sorry, in advance."

Amanda mentally called to Sarek, but there was no need. He was already on his way there having heard the mental call of distress sent out by the older man.

Mariana was pressing the sweater to his wound as she pulled out a medical scanner she always carried on her person. She no longer served in the healthcare field, but old habits died hard. Green blood was already beginning to fill the garment but it was almost as if the nurse didn't notice or even find it disturbing. A coppery essence was beginning to permeate the air. Amanda and Dana stood off to the side trying to stay out of her way and Maya was at Demek's head. The telepath was about to attempt to touch his mind, but in his semi-consciousness he reached up and gently stopped her by grabbing her wrist. "Do not, child," he begged sluggishly. "There is- too much there- eager to- be surrendered. Do not." She listened to his wishes and instead touched her fingers to his, trying to anchor him.

"How is he?" asked Amanda.

"He's bleeding way too much," said Mariana as she took his readings with the scanner with one hand, for once her emotions strongly in-check. "I'm not so up on my Vulcan physiology, but this wound is technically not in a lethal spot. But it's bleeding badly either because it's so deep or it nicked his lung, I can't get a clear reading with the scanner. We have to get him to a hospital, fast. There's nothing else I can do for him here except clean everything and try to stop the bleeding."

His eyes fluttered open again and he looked up at Mariana, then Maya. He sluggishly looked over at Amanda and Dana. All of them were outwardly anxious except for Mariana who was trying her best to keep his wound covered. "Beautiful girl children," he whispered. Tears were in Amanda's eyes and Dana turned away, not able to look anymore. Maya sniffled as she forced herself not to look at the wound that was obviously bleeding out much too quickly.

Sokam arrived with the materials requested since Maya had sent the request along their bond. Sarek arrived just then, as well, and was on his comm to the Vulcan Academy Hospital. As soon as he was done with that, he was contacting the V'Shar agents specified to him by Demek from the mysterious communiqué sent to him that morning. "Demek," he addressed him. "You must enter Healing Trance."

By that point he was unable to speak verbally. Maya was holding his hand so he thought to her- _I am too weak. I must be assisted._

"He said he can't do it on his own, he needs help," she relayed quickly.

Sarek was about to sit next to him and do so when Demek raised his other hand to Sokam. _He is of Healer talent. He has the ability._

Sarek realized what was meant even without being told and Sokam couldn't help but hear the words via the bond with his wife. Maya moved away from Demek's head and surrendered her place to both Sarek and Sokam.

Mariana asked, "Sarek, place your hand here and apply as much pressure as you can."

He held the fabric to the wound as Sokam began to meld with him. In the tense four minutes that ensued, not one person said a word. Mariana poured the antiseptic over the data card and then poured some onto one of the clean towels. She looked up at Sarek, eyes determined, and said one word to him, quickly. "Lift."

He pulled the sweater away and she quickly swiped the wound clean with the antiseptic towel and then applied the sterile data card over the spot. "It should seal the wound and keep him from losing air if the wound has reached a lung." She then applied the second still-clean towel over the spot and looked up at Sarek again, "Press." And he did so, impressed at Mariana's calm and presence of mind in the situation. He realized, belatedly, that this could not be the first stab wound she'd dealt with.

They heard a shuttle land. The four agents of the V'Shar entered and Maya found herself snapping her mental shields closed, but it was already too late. Their telepathy was off the charts and even with her shield active she didn't think she was going to be able to keep them from discovering…

One agent took in the situation, the leader of their group, and began immediately speaking with Amanda. He introduced himself as Sumar. He was of average height and more of a muscular build, his skin as brown as Maya's, his hair woolen in texture and in close-cropped cut. He proceeded to question not only verbally, but mentally. He cast into Amanda's mind so delicately she didn't even notice. He detected no lies spoken by her. He was also careful not to stray into any area not of his concern.

By the light of T'Kuht they were all able to see clearly. The other three agents fanned out. One questioned Dana. He introduced himself as Zymak. Tall and confident, he had more of a soft touch both in nature and word. If his look could be described, he most resembled a Terran Eurasian. He also probed delicately in her mind to determine whether she spoke the truth or not. He was astounded by her outer control. She kept her face straight, but he could see that mentally she was in turmoil over Demek on the ground, from what she could see, bleeding to death.

The other two agents seemed to advance on Maya, worse than curious about what was in front of them. _You fear us_ the one named Stilen thought to her in a not detached way.

_One such as yourself should not be possible. And yet you exist_ thought Toven with palpable fascination.

Maya realized she was backing up and refused to do so anymore. _Holy crap!_ She found herself thinking. She stood her ground and forced herself not to cower. "What of it?" she asked with false bravado.

_Why do you speak verbally when you are capable of so much more?_ Asked the one named Toven, honestly curious.

"You're supposed to be here for Demek," she reminded them, honestly angry.

Amanda noticed her friend's distress and for the first time that night her anger finally surged to the surface. "You get away from her," she said as she walked over to Maya and stood in front of her. She didn't care who these guys were, they were scaring her friend.

"A hospital unit shall be here shortly," said Sumar, their leader, as he walked over to the other two agents. "I will question the young woman now."

Amanda had already positioned herself in front of Maya and she reached behind her and took her friend's hand. Not understanding how, she sensed danger here. She realized it was Maya's ability bleeding into her from the contact with her hand, broadcasting. Maya felt as if she were in danger?

The one named Stilen pushed on, orbiting Amanda's position, his eyes unable to leave Maya, "I was the first to discover her," he said to Sumar, his face still calm.

Sokam stood and announced, "Healing Trance has been established." Then he walked quickly to where his wife stood, not at all ignorant of what was happening. "What of my wife?" he asked as he territorially put his body in front of hers and Amanda's to shield them from their eyes.

"His vitals are dropping," Mariana announced. "Heart rate, blood flow, respiration are all slowing…" She felt a detached sense of disappointment.

"It is only the healing trance doing what it is made to do," Sarek said to allay her fears. "It is shutting down everything so that he will not lose anymore blood."

"Good idea," she said as she continued to scan Demek. And indeed, the flow of blood had stopped to a trickle.

The four agents looked at one another, conferring mentally. Then four sets of calculating eyes turned back to the Vulcan in front of them shielding his wife not only physically, but mentally. "You are both operating below your telepathic potential," Sumar shared with him.

"Our potential, especially hers, is not of your concern," said Sokam as conversationally as he could but his jaw was clenching.

Sarek also stood and positioned himself in front of Amanda. Both women were now covered by their husbands. "May I remind the four of you that this is my residence and the Terran females here will be respected?"

Sumar advised, "We have the utmost respect for she who is his wife," he nodded in Sokam's direction. "We wish no harm to her or your wife."

Amanda and Maya looked at each other. They wanted to be there for Demek, just in case. They both walked out from behind their husbands and made their way back to Demek's side and sat down on the ground with him. Dana did the same. Mariana was also still sitting there with him as she covered him with the blanket. "He's unconscious, but I think he's tentatively stable. The flow of blood has been dramatically slowed by the healing trance." She then continued her scans. "It seems like he was stabbed with something that did more damage coming out than going in. That's usual for any stabbing wound, but this weapon was a doozie, like it was made to cut the person up from the inside and inflict extra damaging cuts on its way out. Who would have done this to him?" she wondered arbitrarily.

Medics and a Healer from the Vulcan Academy Hospital began swarming in through the open gate, just then, silent and efficient. The young ladies quickly moved out of the way for them. He was confirmed as stabilized into a healing trance by the attending Healer, moved onto a stretcher by Vulcan medics, and then they were moving him off of the property quickly.

"Can I come along?" Mariana asked as she followed.

"You did the initial work on him?" asked the attending Healer, noticing the amount of green blood she was covered in.

"Yes, and Sokam put him into Healing Trance," she said as she inclined her head in his direction.

"Come with us," the Healer nodded at Mariana, then he gave one curt nod over to Sokam that translated as 'adequate work'. They were gone less than three minutes after they'd arrived. Sumar sent Agent Toven with a mental command to accompany them.

But the remaining three agents were still there. "I retrieved this off of his person," Sarek was saying as he handed over an info-PADD to Sumar.

"He asked that they be given that," confirmed Sokam, still keeping an eye on the agent named Stilen whom was currently monitoring his wife closely on a mental level. He was amazed at the control he maintained on his growing rage as he mentally watched _another male watching __**his wife!**_

Dana, Amanda and Maya were all standing there, dazed. "Will he live?" asked Amanda as she looked at Sarek.

"That remains to be seen," answered her husband. "The hospital personnel at this point are the only ones who will have a hand in that matter."

"Can we go to the hospital and wait?" asked Amanda.

"I do not see why we should not-"

"We advise against it," said Sumar.

"Whoever has attacked Demek has done so for currently unknown purposes," stated Zymak. "If it is known you are involved, they may attempt to strike at you and those closest to you," he said, genuine concern in his words. "Toven has instructions to keep watch over your Mariana and Demek. As soon as her duties have been dispensed we will return her to your residence, ambassador."

"Is there some reason Demek wished for me to inform you if something were to befall him?" asked Sarek, confused on that count. Why was his friend mixed up with the V'Shar?

The V'Shar was an agency comprised of abnormally strong telepathic agents who kept Vulcan safe, though their methods were more than questionable. The average citizen did not have to bother with thinking of these things since most were truly unaware of them. But as an ambassador, Sarek had seen several outcomes of their unfortunate doings. Even the Terran Empire knew not to mess with the V'Shar. The only ones the intelligence agency respected were the elders of their world, and the elders saw them as a necessity to remain unencumbered by their Terran overlords in the matters of their planet. As a result, the V'Shar were often left to their own devices.

"There were several things Demek stumbled across. And he was privy to certain…information concerning the four of us and knew we would understand and properly handle the outcome," said Sumar.

Sarek saw it was currently the only answer he was going to get. And at the same time he wanted to remove the viper-like being, Stilen, from his property. Sokam was too close to his Time to ignore the open looks given to his wife by the man. He wondered what his intentions were, but it was only logical to finish what was started, first, before attending to that. "I was told by him that I would receive a package via courier tomorrow morning and that I was to hand it over to you."

Sumar and Sarek stepped off to the side to speak confidentially for a few moments while the one named Zymak approached the other ladies and asked, "Are you well, _T'Sai _Amanda, _T'Sai _Maya, Miss Dana Philo?"

"No. We're worried about Demek," Amanda answered truthfully. Dana nodded in agreement, but Maya seemed to have withdrawn into herself.

Zymak nodded. "It is to be expected. I detect a high amount of attachment by the present company of females though you hardly knew him."

"And I don't know what else is going on, but one of you is scaring Maya," Amanda said angrily. "I'm sure my husband's hospitality doesn't include that liberty."

Zymak turned and looked at Sokam, his thoughts going past his rudimentary screens. _Please do not misinterpret Sumar's interest in your wife and also yourself._

_What interest would that be?_ Answered Sokam.

_You are both strong telepaths. The interest of the V'Shar is to find such telepaths, train them, put them into our ranks. We are aware, you have already chosen to become a Healer. But a woman such as your wife would be invaluable in the Terran world as one of our agents. And she has vast potential for destructive gifts that have yet to be explored-_

A flash of unmitigated rage tore through Sokam and it took all of his might for it not to translate itself in outwardly. _My wife, __**MY WIFE**__ is to NEVER see danger of any kind. Is that clear?_

Zymak recognized then what it was he was seeing. He was not only observing a male intensely concerned about the welfare of his bondmate, but it was also a male on the cusp of his Time. _I seek forgiveness_ he caved instantly at the force of nature growing before him.

Sokam paused. _And what of Stilen? Sumar, yourself, Toven, you are interested in her abilities...our abilities. But what is Stilen's interest in __**my**__ wife?_

Zymak never answered since he knew Stilen's interests were nowhere in the realm of honorable. So he elected to simply remain mute on the matter.

Sokam continued _I have remained tame because I stand on my cousin's property. But I will never allow your Stilen near my wife again, is that clear?_

Zymak understood.

"You may pick one agent to remain on your premises," Sumar said to Sarek as he made ready to leave.

"I choose Zymak," said Sarek, having gauged the agent's sincere concern for the members of his house.

Sumar nodded and was about to collect Stilen when he said, "I also wish to inform you that during the commotion one of the Terrans, a hidden female, slipped out of the walls of your house. She has walked into the area of the open desert and is currently in mortal danger."

Just then, they heard the yowl of a _le-matya_.

**Twenty Minutes Before**

Cassie heard a lot of commotion and sat up in bed. She looked out of her window, but whatever was going on was too far away for her to see. She got out of bed, got dressed and snuck out of the door of the house. Sneaking up on the scene she saw Sokam standing in front of Maya and Amanda. She strained to hear their words, stepped closer so she could remain unseen. But everyone was so damned busy, no one even noticed she was there! She couldn't help but smirk. And then she focused on what she had just heard.

"You are both operating below your telepathic potential," said the dark-skinned Vulcan.

"Our potential, especially hers, is not of your concern," said Sokam.

Sarek then moved and was standing in front of Amanda. "May I remind the four of you that this is my residence and the Terran females here will be respected?" Sarek told the Vulcan strangers.

Sumar advised, "We have the utmost respect for she who is his wife," he nodded in Sokam's direction. "We wish no harm to her or your wife."

But already, Cassie's mind was putting everything together. Had they have been speaking about Amanda, Sarek would have been the first one opening his mouth. But no, it was Sokam who'd spoken up. Everything she'd always ignored about Maya suddenly made sense. Telepath? She smiled and her heart almost burst with joy. If nothing else, _this_ piece of information was worth more than having the title of Thought Crime removed from her name! But first, she had to get away with the information. If she could only sneak out!

Just then, the medics from the VAH swarmed in and began working on the bloodied Vulcan on the ground. How hadn't she seen him before? There was blood everywhere. That's what that coppery stink was! How disgusting! But with all of the medical personnel standing in the way, she figured then was as good a time as any to get away unnoticed. While they were all swarming out of the property, that's exactly what she did.

Sumar, the strongest of the V'Shar at the house that night, detected a Terran mind directly near. He effortlessly scanned the mind and what he found there was deeply disturbing. This Terran had plotted to undo her own kinswoman on flimsy information. Worse yet, the information was not enough to achieve the goal she'd set out for herself but she was too feeble-minded to realize that from the start. Now she had a true piece of damaging information. The telepath, Maya, would be unveiled to the Terran world by this one. The V'Shar were interested in the Terran telepath for deep undercover operations until such time as they heard from her mouth she was not interested in them. And even if she did not wish to join, they were not above involuntary recruiting. It would not do to have the cover of a potential agent blown before they could be put into circulation.

So when the hidden Terran stood to leave, he allowed her to go. Then he planted within her an intentionally misleading piece of information for her to walk in the wrong direction…directly into the open desert. Her mind was weak enough and the suggestion was quite simple.

Cassie left the gates and couldn't believe she'd made it out unseen! She looked to the right and to the left, but could not decide which way she should go. She knew the Terran section of the city was to the right of her, up the paved road, but something else told her if she went to the left she would find a Terran settlement there after less than ten minutes of running. So she began to run toward the open desert.

The light of T'Kuht made it easy for her to see where she was going. She was already becoming exhausted by her exertions in the thin air. But she laughed and laughed at the information she carried that would guarantee she could go home for a certainty. She could almost feel the comfort of her old bed and her joy knew no bounds. She knew daddy would reward her with a new wardrobe, among other things, for returning to the- What was that?

She turned around quickly and saw something bounding toward her, moving impossibly fast. It paused for one second and she was able to get a good look at it. It was impossibly big and muscular with greenish coloring that faded into orange leathery skin. It looked like a mountain cat, but it was definitely native to Vulcan and contained something on its back that resembled an elongated jagged uneven dorsal fin. Its fangs and claws shining in the light of T'Kuht were unmistakable to Cassie. This was most certainly a dangerous predator.

She swallowed hard as her breath caught in her chest, fear welling up inside as a strangled cry got stuck in her throat. She looked at the creature and wondered what it would do next. It seemed to pierce her with its stare as it crouched and yowled. The sound caused her to stumble backward as she tried to run, but she found herself falling over as she soiled herself out of pure fear. The strange looking cat leapt the few feet it needed and was then practically standing on top of her. The suffocating weight of its upper body on her chest, the creature swiped at her face once with its claw and she could feel blood pouring down the side of her face, instantly obstructing the vision in one eye when she attempted to sit up. She was sobbing as the beast drew away from her and began to circle her position. Soon she was not even able to cry as she fell backward onto the sand. Whatever was in its fangs made her literally paralyzed. The numbness spread from her head, where she had been directly wounded, and continued down her body slowly by degrees.

She was lying there, in horror and shock as the creature came close to her, sniffed and then bit down into the side of her jugular having smelled the best blood flow there. She felt a blinding explosion of pain as the thing's fangs penetrated her skin and its jaw quickly sucked the blood from her body. Her life flashed before her eyes.

_Smiling joyfully at her father's face as he stood over her crib… Her first day at preschool, stealing Jenna Tully's carrots from her lunch bag and throwing them out of a window just because she'd overheard her saying they were her favorite, watching with secret glee as the little girl cried and cried when she discovered they were gone… Meeting up with Dana when they were little girls to go to the library and do their homework together… The first boy she ever encouraged to look her way… The pregnancy scare she had in her late teens and how Dana had been there for her… Her days away at college, missing her home, wishing she was back there, Dana always there to take her mind off of it… Deciding to turn on Dana to get back to that life she knew she deserved above all else… Realizing that betraying Dana was the biggest mistake of her life, not because it was wrong, but because it had lead her…here._

As the life ebbed out of Cassie, the _le-matya_ then moved on and bit into her abdomen. She was dead before he began to dine on her intestines, savoring the exotic meat.


	26. Drama, Part III

Drama, Part III

"Are we going to get her?" asked Dana as she looked at Sarek with pleading eyes.

Sarek didn't know how to tell the young woman that if you've heard the desert predator, the victim was most likely within seconds of dying. He then saw Amanda's face turn to him with concern and refrained from nodding his head at her negatively. _It is already too late, adun'a_ he said to her. But he knew what she wanted him to say, and he would do this for his wife. "I will go. And the agents will bring me there. Amanda, you must stay here. And I strongly advise you do the same, Dana."

"She's my cousin," protested Dana, eerily calm. "I should come with you."

"After all she's done?" asked Sarek almost softly, confused by her loyalty.

"She can't help being what she is," Dana said sadly as she looked up at him, true worry in her eyes.

"We will not bring the Terran female with us," began Sumar. "Her reactions will be too strong at the sight of-"

"It is her kinswoman. She will come with us," said Sarek, giving the final word.

Zymak, Shin and Sokam remained with Amanda and Maya as Sumar and Stilen went with Sarek, Zurel and Dana into the desert. His wife had seen it via their bond, he did not want Amanda to go with them. She could tell he was concerned for her given the horrible things she'd repeatedly stumbled upon in her youth. So she remained behind with the rest of the occupants of the property, for his sake.

By that point, Shin and Zymak were guarding the still-open front gate.

####

They flew into the desert in the shuttle the V'Shar had arrived in that evening. Sumar was aware of which direction the young woman fled since he was the one that had planted the suggestion in her mind. They came upon the macabre sight almost slowly and the light of T'Kuht lit the area more than well enough for it to be seen. Zurel and Sarek tried to shield Dana's vision by stepping in front of her, but the young woman's eyes were sharp. Sumar was already using his in-shuttle communications to call the hospital with a request to pick up what was left of the treacherous young woman's body.

They remained in hover mode over the deceased for the time being. The Vulcans on the shuttle could tell that the _le-matya_ fled, mid-meal, when it heard them coming. The young lady's entrails were strewn about the desert in a red kaleidoscope of parts. And still, Dana said nothing. Not even a tear fell. The V'Shar agents could see into her and realized she was made of very strong material, but she was holding on by the edge of something. She would not allow herself to fall apart not only in front of strangers, but in front of anyone.

The hospital unit came to remove the body to their morgue section though they found it highly illogical to not simply leave the body there and allow it to nourish the occupants of the desert. But the ambassador insisted on them doing so. He wanted her body returned to her family on Terra Prime, if they wished to have it.

They all ventured to the hospital straight from the desert. Sarek alerted Amanda of all the goings-on via their bond. Amanda, in turn, felt it necessary to call Turan and let him know where Dana was and what had taken place.

####

Dana still had not spoken since they'd arrived at the hospital. The morgue personnel kept them waiting a short time and during it she only sat in the waiting area, looking dazed. Sarek was watching her closely. _Amanda, she is still not behaving as herself. I am highly concerned._

_ She's in shock, adun. If it looked the way I think it looked, I don't blame her. I'd be positively catatonic if it were my relative that happened to._

When they finally called her, she walked into the morgue section flanked by Sarek and Zurel on both sides of her. "I do not think it prudent for you to do this now, Dana," Zurel found himself saying. "Perhaps you should first wait a day." He looked at Sarek but the ambassador said nothing.

"This is my duty," was all she whispered as she looked at neither of them but continued going forward, almost as if her legs were being powered by an outside force.

They all walked forward into the cold section that contained the deceased. They entered the room and a stasis chamber was keyed open by the morgue keeper, a female Vulcan of indeterminate age. The body was exposed as the chamber slid open gently. Someone had thought to at least cover her until only her face showed. There was a long wound across the top of the dead young woman's forehead as if she'd been sliced open by something very sharp. Dana looked up at the Vulcan who was the keeper of the morgue and met the woman's face with a slight, sad smile. "That's my cousin, Cassie- Hannah Cassandra Demetus," she said as if she were introducing her.

"She is deceased," the morgue attendant reminded her not understanding the reason for the Terran female's words. The word 'is' implied present tense as if the woman were still alive, though she obviously was not. The attendant had to admit, it was the first time she'd had a Terran in her section that did not shed tears over what they were seeing.

"It's my responsibility to make sure she stays out of trouble," Dana said almost to herself as she stared down into the face of her younger cousin.

"It is ill-advised for anyone to venture into the desert at night. Most Terrans who do not heed this warning find themselves in this predicament," said the woman, oblivious to how her words might be construed.

Sarek found himself gearing up to diffuse a bad situation when Dana simply shrugged it off. "She never listens anyway. And it's done now, isn't it? It's going to take a lot to fix this one." She turned and began walking out, the two Vulcan men behind her, wondering when she was going to show the effects of the evening. They were both gravely concerned about her speaking of Cassie as if she were still alive, as if the situation were still repairable.

She held it together and they made it out of the morgue section. Dana found herself forcing one foot in front of the other as she thought of the mischievous things the two had done when they were younger. She found herself wanting to smile at one incident from their early teens when her cousin had come to her crying because Billy Quinn had taken her new bag, smashed it up against a soiled doorway and dirtied it on purpose. They had gone that afternoon and hunted down his location. They'd found him at the swimming hole, of all places. They immediately stole his clothing and threw them up into a tree, all within his view. They ran away laughing at his angry threats since he refused to leave the water. Judging from the underwear they'd found among his possessions, he was most certainly naked! That was one funny afternoon. They'd laughed about it for hours afterward, imagining him climbing the tree with nothing on to retrieve all of his clothing.

She almost laughed, then, at the errant memory as spots began to appear and dance in her vision. Dana didn't understand what was going on as the lights went out on her. Her eyes rolled in her head and she went straight down.

Turan was there in the waiting section as well as the V'Shar agents. He saw Dana, Sarek and Zurel walking out of the stairway coming from the morgue section but realized she had not yet seen him. She looked as if she were lost in thought. He began to walk toward her and then she was going down. He rushed to catch her, some unidentifiable emotion rising up into his throat, but he didn't get there in time. Sarek stepped forward, though, and caught her body before it could hit the floor. The ambassador was not at all surprised by her reaction.

"I will take her now," said Turan with a straight face as he walked up to them. He put his arms out, waiting. Sarek handed her over to the man who had obviously decided that this woman was his responsibility.

The very tall Vulcan with pitch black hair carried her over to the first available privacy screen. Sarek asked Zurel to go and find out what had happened with Demek since they were all still there at the hospital. He also called the only Healer on staff he trusted with any Terrans in his household, T'Niye, and requested she come and take a look at Dana at her earliest convenience. She let him know she was available and would be there immediately.

Dana's senses began to return, little by little. She was confused. There was something strong under her face, but she was in a reclined sitting position. Was that a chest under her face and strong arms holding her up? And his scent was so alluring… _Turan?_ Her eyes fluttered open. She was fighting to sit up on her own but his arms held her back.

"Do not attempt to move," he said, his face expressionless. He maintained his control but his eyes were worried. "I have worked at the prison for Terran females long enough to know that you are suffering the effects of psychological shock. It is imperative that you do not strain yourself at this time."

She found herself inhaling him again when hearing his voice confirmed it was indeed Turan holding her up. He was sitting with her on a gurney behind a privacy screen. "I take it that's not the first time you've seen someone faint?" she found herself asking as she relaxed into his warmth. She was disgusted with herself for such a public display, but figured if this were the reward maybe she should faint more often. Since he wouldn't let her move she figured she might as well enjoy it.

"No. I noticed your eyes were not wet and deduced you have not allowed yourself an emotional reaction to the situation. In actuality I believe that if you would have allowed yourself a release you may not have lost consciousness. Why have you not yet done so?"

"I don't do tears in public."

"That vanity has proven detrimental to you. You could have experienced harm from your fall." He seemed confused. "You are Terran and there are no cultural taboos against your doing so."

"Not every Terran is the same. We each have our own particular idiosyncrasies. Some find it beneath them to beg, some won't speak openly about love. Here's my hang-up. I don't _do_ tears in public."

He nodded in acknowledgement. His opinion of her rose substantially and his arms pulled her in closer. He was no longer simply holding her up as he had been when he initially sat down, he was now holding her. They were alone and he knew that if they were not, he would not be touching her at all. She smelled alluringly different from anything he had ever experienced, but he could not help but notice the smell of two other males emanating from her clothing. Even laundered, he could smell their opposing scents. "Whose clothing is this?" he asked as his fingers stroked her pants lightly.

"Zurel's pants, Shin's shirt. I can't wear Shin's pants. I'm too tall. What, would you have preferred I go naked? You're the one who thinks I should 'dress appropriately'," she said, imitating him with a little smile. "Don't you remember why I'm not wearing my own clothes? I didn't want to go home tonight because-" her emotions got caught in her throat. She cleared her chest and swallowed hard. "She was home and I didn't even want to see her face since-" her emotions were stuck again and she couldn't speak. Dana decided to change the subject. "You're so very…Vulcan! How in the hell do you know so much about feelings?"

"I work in a prison full of mostly nonviolent Terran females. It is only logical that eventually I would deduce much from observation alone."

She sniffled, still being careful of showing too much. "Touché," she gave him credit. "What were you doing at the hospital?"

"Amanda messaged me. She saw the possibility that I may wish to be available to you. It was a most wise decision on her part since I wish very much to be available to you in your times of need." He pulled her up even further so that her forehead rested against his. It was the most intimate he had ever allowed himself to become with any female. "Please, allow yourself an emotional release. Perhaps by denying yourself one, you are becoming further damaged."

She swallowed back her tears. It felt so good to be this close to him. "I can't do that…not here."

"We are no longer in a public space," he said. "To release tears is natural for your people, is it not?"

She felt the dam about to break and it was becoming too strong an effort to hold it back. "This isn't fair to you, Turan. I don't even know who we are to one another yet. I can't use you, let you comfort me like-"

"You are mine. I am yours," was all he said in a low voice.

Her fingers brushed lightly against the skin of his jaw. And even through her pain, she was in awe of him, his versatility. She was hurting and he was there for her. It wasn't at all what she'd expected to receive from him…ever. Would it always be this way? First one, then two tears broke free. The pain of losing her cousin mixed with the disappointment of her betrayal mated itself with her uncertainty of how things could be between herself and Turan. She found herself leaning down into his chest and burying her face against it, hands clutching at his shirt, pulling it to cover up both sides of her face so he couldn't see her crying. Her shoulders shook as she finally let the pain out in hot tears. Even then, she made not one sound.

"I grieve with thee, Dana," he whispered into her ear. "I grieve with thee."

She found herself putting her arms directly around him as his warmth flooded into her.

####

Zurel saw a tired Mariana walking toward him with a tiny smile. "Hey," she said, glad to see him. "What are you doing here?"

He'd never seen her in this capacity. She was in hospital scrubs, her hair secured in a tight knot at the back of her head. "Sarek asked me to come and determine the status of Demek since we were here at the hospital concerning Cassie."

"Cassie?" asked Mariana. "What's happened with her?"

"She is dead," he said as he watched for her reaction.

She frowned. "Wait. What? How in the world did that happen?"

He saw she was not at all upset, simply confused. He wondered if it was because she was in 'career mode'. "She ran out into the desert and was attacked, they suspect, by a _le-matya_. She was already partially consumed when we happened upon her body."

Mariana had taken it upon herself to do careful research about the local animals her first week there and shuddered at what she'd found out about the desert predator. "I don't care who you are, that is an honestly terrible way to go. I wish she didn't have to go like_ that_."

"She was never a friend toward you," he observed. "She was persistent in her opinion of you as beneath her simply because of your differing statuses of birth. Why does her death disturb you?"

She shrugged. "Like I said, that's a horrible way to go. And poor Dana-"

"Dana has only just now identified her body at the morgue."

Mariana's eyes flashed at him. "You let her _do_ that?" she said, accusatory. She still held her voice quite low, given her surroundings.

Zurel found this was an unpleasant sensation. "Please do not become angry with me. I tried to dissuade her. She insisted and Ambassador Sarek allowed it."

She sighed and relaxed. "I'm sorry, Zurel. That was uncalled for. I don't blame you. One thing about Dana, she's going to do what she's going to do regardless of what anyone has to say. How's she holding up?"

"As soon as we departed the morgue section, she lost consciousness."

Mariana began to move as if trying to go and see to her, but she found Zurel blocking her path, holding onto her arms. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I need to see if she's all right!"

"Turan is here and he is with her now. I doubt they wish to be disturbed."

She smirked then. "I see." She realized the Vulcan was holding her arms and found herself stepping back so he didn't think he had to any longer. "You came to find out about Demek." She finally smiled fully. "It looks like he's going to live. He came through surgery all right, but he's still in Healing Trance."

"I am certain the ambassador would wish to hear this news straight from you."

"They don't need me anymore tonight, anyway." She turned and looked at the V'Shar agent who was still shadowing her. What was his name again? Ah, that's right! "Mr. Toven," she called him.

The agent walked over to the both of them. He could sense the mutual attraction between the two standing in front of him though neither one had done anything about it. "You are ready to depart?"

"The other two agents are downstairs," said Zurel.

"We're going down now so I can give Sarek the news about Demek," said Mariana.

"I am to stay in the vicinity of Demek and continue to watch over him," he told them. "You may depart without me."

####

Sarek was gratified to see Zurel approaching with Mariana. His face was still impassively guarded, but he saw her smile and knew she had good news. "He is well?"

"Demek made it through surgery. They say he will most likely make it, but he's still in Healing Trance for now. Mr. Toven has stayed behind to keep an eye on him." She yawned as she covered her mouth. "My goodness, I haven't done this in a while. I forgot how tired it makes me."

"Perhaps I should bring her home?" Zurel said.

"T'Niye is in with Dana," said Sarek. "I believe she will be done shortly."

Almost on cue the aged Healer stepped out from behind the privacy screen. "She is well enough to return home."

Turan accompanied them to their vehicle but found that leaving Dana's side was an action he did not wish to carry out. She was walking well away from him at that point. He knew he would need to meditate twice as long that evening to put himself back together after having been so close to her, physically, experiencing her emotions. What would he do?

He had to confront a fact about himself that was not a pleasant realization. He was almost willing to stoop to anything to keep her in his life, including bonding her to him against her will. That, he knew, was purely wrong. He would have to wrestle with himself to give her the freedom to choose that path…or not. The thought pained his inmost mind. Should she choose to not remain with him…no, he would not allow it. She was his. He would find a way.

The two remaining V'Shar agents waited for the two Terran females, Zurel and then Sarek to enter the shuttle before they climbed in and took off.

Turan went to his own ground vehicle. He needed to go home and contend with the territorial beast that was attempting to break free. It was necessary to shackle it in the bonds of logic.

They landed just outside Sarek's compound wall. Dana's eyes were distinctly pink though no one had seen her cry. Being held by Turan as she released her tears was something she'd never allowed herself to do with anyone. Even in her youth she didn't want anyone touching her while she cried. But he…he felt good to her senses in more way than one. She knew their relationship needed to be based on more than just that. No, she wasn't going to make a decision about the two of them simply because she liked the way he held her in private.

They all departed the vehicle of the agents, but Sarek stayed behind for a minute longer to confer with Sumar.

Dana, Mariana and Zurel walked into the house gate and saw Shin and Zymak standing there. "Well?" asked the Terran male.

Dana kept walking as Mariana walked up to him and whispered, "Cassie is dead."

"Damn," Shin muttered. "That's terrible for Dana."

Zurel then walked up to the two and gently urged Mariana onward to the house. "You are overly fatigued. Deliver the news to the other females about Demek and then you must take nourishment and rest."

She agreed. "I do feel like I'm going to lie out on this pavement and knock out right now."

They arrived at the house and sat in Sarek's Common Room. Dana still hadn't heard the news, either. "Demek looks like he's going to live," announced Mariana abruptly.

Dana gasped. "When you didn't say anything-"

"He's fine," said Mariana.

Amanda grabbed their friends into a big group hug and the four ladies were grinning. "I didn't need anymore bad news tonight!" she exclaimed as tears of relief ran down her face.

"Oh, yeah, my cousin," said Dana. "I don't understand. What was she thinking, running out into the desert like that?"

The rest of them said nothing and the room grew quiet. Sokam who had been standing off to the side, found it in himself to step forward then. "I grieve with thee, Dana."

Dana almost did cry in front of everyone. She had a flashback of Turan whispering that to her as she cried in his arms. She couldn't help but wonder when she would see him again. That was when she realized she really did want to see him again. And she would.

_(I rewrote this chapter so many times, I was editing it IN MY SLEEP. I'm up here, at my computer, tap dancing for reviews! Please? Pretty please? I ain't too proud to beg!) - J.S._


	27. Drama, Part IV

Drama, Part IV

Zymak was still guarding the front gate of the home, waiting for the courier to show up and deliver the package sent by Demek himself to ensure none of his evidence was lost. Mariana, Dana, Zurel and Shin had long since retired to their abodes. But Sokam and Maya were still there.

"Why the V'Shar have become involved is as yet inexplicable to me at this moment," said Sokam.

Sarek answered, "It was done at the behest of Demek via pre-recorded message. I was directed to do so in the event he lost his life or something untoward befell him."

"It has only served to put us all in danger," said Sokam. "The V'Shar are not to be trusted when they see a goal they wish to attain."

"Maya is not in danger so long as she remains here, within my compound."

"We both know nothing halts the V'Shar once they have acquired a target. I will be forced to remove my wife so that it may be more difficult for them to find her."

"It is unnecessary for you to do so at this time," Sarek insisted.

Sokam was not open to listening. "She is unsafe here with the V'Shar being aware of who and what she is. She cannot stay any longer."

"And where will you go? Where will you bring her? The V'Tosh Ka'tur branch of your family will not accept you with your Syrranite ways and a Terran wife. You are now but a student at this point with no form of employment. At this moment I am her sole protection," stated Sarek.

Instantly offended, "I do not need your help in protecting _my wife_," he said. "She is no longer your ward and she no longer needs your help." Both Amanda and Maya were standing by watching a train wreck unfold but unsure of how to stop it.

"There is another way," insisted his elder cousin, ever calm. "You have not yet considered-"

"I will hear no more from you!" insisted Sokam, openly angry then.

Suddenly Maya understood what was _truly_ wrong and she stepped to the side of her bond mate, though Amanda tried to stop her. She assured her friend with one small smile that she would be fine and then reached out to her husband mentally. _Sokam…_

He turned and looked down at her. She was so beautiful, her beauty struck him on a deep level previously unreachable. How was it he hadn't noticed before how aesthetically pleasing his wife happened to be? And even now when he was beginning to unravel, she was so placid. How could she maintain such calm? He instinctively extended his two fingers.

She took them within her own. _Sokam, please don't argue with Sarek._

_ You will take his side?_

_ No, my love. I only think it would be logical to hear him out first and then make your decision. He's not trying to tell you what to do with your wife. I am still yours. I always will be. I will go with you wherever you see fit. Think about this, please, for my sake. He only wants to help us. Sokam, maybe you should let us stay for now until your Time is past. Your emotions are showing more every day…_

Some reasonable part of his mind knew she was right. And he had allowed his control to slip so far this time! He knew he would be a step away from insane soon…he already was. And arrangements would have to be made if he could only think straight enough to make them! He had less than two weeks left, but he knew that much time was allotted him only if he meditated as much as possible. He nearly deflated. _I seek forgiveness with all that I am, adun'a._

_ For what?_

_ I have lost control._

_ You can't help it right now, Sokam. But just try right now. Try and listen to Sarek. I'm not saying we should automatically have to do what he says, but listen to his words. Then take me to bed and afterward you will be able to think clearly. We'll decide what to do together after that._

Sokam's ears and fingertips burned deep green as he resisted the urge to pull his wife into his arms at that moment and begin devouring her on the floor of his kinsman's Common Room. "I will hear your words, Sarek," he said, his control temporarily reestablished. "My wife has made me see reason."

Sarek and Amanda were effectively amazed. They had only seen the two standing quietly, looking at one another, obviously conversing within their bond. Sokam's musculature had relaxed, bit by bit, until the anger was gone from his face and then his control was reasserted. Maya's fingers held fast to his and Sarek knew then that the two would be fine in the coming weeks. Maya would handle his Time well, though he knew she was still unsure of herself.

Sarek launched into his thoughts. "My suggestion is since the V'Shar seem only to respect the elders of our world there is a chance that if you receive T'Pau's approval for your bonded state they will leave Maya in peace. Allow her to become T'Niye's student, as well. She is another honored elder and can teach her much while keeping the V'Shar away."

"The only show of approval from T'Pau will be if she officiates during my impending Time," acknowledged Sokam. "But she finds Terrans distasteful. How will this be established?"

Sarek knew Sokam's words to be true. "The only way I see this happening is if T'Niye speaks up on behalf of both Amanda and Maya. Elders have a tendency to listen to one another and she is older than T'Pau."

"And T'Niye had the status to sit on the Syrranite Council and refused it," Sokam agreed. "Yes, I see the logic of your words."

Sarek asked, "Then you agree with what should be done in this situation?"

Sokam, having thoroughly been recalled to his senses, looked down into Maya's eager eyes. "My wife and I will speak at length on this matter together first before making any decisions. I will make no decisions without her input."

Sarek and Amanda were relieved, but both for differing reasons.

####

Before they retired for bed that night, Amanda pulled out her PADD to check her messages. Her heart soared and Sarek detected it through the bond. "What development has caused you such joy?" he asked, amazed at how quickly her moods could shift. She'd been a mixture of several conflicting emotions due to the tumultuous events of that evening, and now here she was in a state of joy.

"The school I applied to, they've responded to me," she said, excited. "They're calling me in for an interview tomorrow if I can make it in that soon."

"What school is this?" he asked, nearly surprised.

"I never got a chance to tell you! Earlier today I found a school that's about an hour from here. One of their divisions teaches Colloquial Standard to Vulcan adults. It's run by a Vulcan man and a Terran woman. I suspect they're one of the two Vulcan/Terran marriages that occurred before us."

"I am not entirely certain I am comfortable with your journeying so far from home for employment, Amanda. I will be unable to protect you so far away."

"Then thank goodness I'll have Zurel to get me there and back every day," she said, offhand, as she confirmed the appointment.

"Amanda, I do not understand what has just occurred. You have replied already that you will begin the interview process after I have expressed my disquietude over the distance from our home?"

She looked at him, confused. "Yes. Why shouldn't I have?"

"I do not think you have considered all possible options of this arrangement, Amanda. Should you not have thought out all sides beforehand? Haste is not logical."

She frowned. "All sides like?"

"What will you do when my next assignment arises? Will you accompany me or will you remain in your teaching position?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

"It is not honorable to give your word to an employer and then remove yourself from a position when something more desirable comes along. And have you considered what a strain it will be to work a standard Vulcan day, not a regular Terran one?" he asked.

Becoming annoyed, she looked at him with her head cocked sideways slightly. "The female teacher that already works there is _human_ and she seems to be doing fine with it."

He flinched at the slang word she'd used for 'Terran'. It was not like her in the least. "I do not understand your inclination to pursue work so far outside my protection, Amanda."

She folded her arms. "Are you joking or are you on something?"

He frowned. "'On something'?"

"You must be on something or you must have had chocolate shavings dumped into your food if I'm hearing you correctly. Are you actually expecting me to take my college-educated mind and sit around your house, bored to death, all day, every day?"

He didn't understand what chocolate had to do with their conversation. He was also aware that boredom could not bring about death. And why did she refer to it as his house? The home was equally theirs. "I will not attempt to discuss the illogical statements that have been made by you. However at this moment, I will address this: I do not understand why you have been unable to obtain work that will enable you to remain here, within my compound."

Her mind almost seized up at his words and she snapped at him, "You do realize what you sound like, right?"

He remained as calm as ever. "I am unconcerned with how my words may sound phonetically. I do ask that you please concentrate on their actual meaning."

She was growing angrier by the second and didn't know how to shut it off. "Well what about me, Mr. Superior?" she asked. "Do you care what I might think you sound like right now?"

"And what is that?" he asked, honestly wishing to know.

"You sound like a male chauvinist pig who thinks he needs to tell me what to do!"

"Has she who is my wife referred to me as a Terran animal that rolls in mire?"

"We have a winner, ladies and gents! The Vulcan's hearing is in perfect order!"

"Amanda, it is unnecessary to shout since according to my last health screening, yes, my hearing is more than adequate," he said, his temper seemingly still intact.

And she wanted to slap him for it. "I can't believe you! First you tell me you have no problems with me working. Now that it looks like I might have found the perfect situation you suddenly have a problem with me working?"

"It is not a 'problem', as you have put it, Amanda. It is a logical concern. Please attempt to use logic in this discussion. The further away from my compound you travel, the higher the probability becomes that something may befall you that I will have no way to intervene in. May I remind you that during your last interview you were almost detained and forced into a physical examination by a Terran physician to determine if you were under the influence of alien mind control?"

"This is not a Terran-run school! It's a mixed setting. It's perfect for what I need!"

"You have still lost sight of logic and that fact is indicative from the last statement you have made."

"Oh so you're still going there on me? And what was so _illogical_ about what I just said?"

"You have stated more than once that this employment situation is 'perfect'. However there is no such thing as perfection. Furthermore, you have deemed it a 'need'. A necessity is something that is required for a being to remain alive. This job is not a necessity for you to remain alive. Due to my status in this society and my monetary worth, you do not truly need to obtain employment, Amanda."

"Okay, Mr. Logical, so I should just sit at home and do what?"

"Attend me," he said simply.

Amanda was so angry, she stood, flipped him the bird and opened their bedroom door to walk out.

####

Sarek still didn't understand what had happened. He'd presented the facts in a clear, concise, logical manner. And his wife had made some form of hand gesture he suspected was dubious in nature. Something told him not to follow her.

_I'm sleeping in the spare bedroom for now._

_Amanda, I was not aware you wished to change the venue of our sleeping arrangement. _He heard what could only be called angry laughter in response to his words.

_My sleeping arrangement. Not ours. Mine. As in I'm sleeping __**alone**__ for now._

_ And what is your reason for this change of rest place?_

_ Because if I sleep in the same bed with you tonight you might wake up with it on __**FIRE**__!_

Sarek flinched. He'd felt the mental 'punch' that accompanied that last word and finally understood, his wife was not simply annoyed, she was extremely angry with him almost to the point of physical violence. He decided to don his robes then and meditate. He needed to figure out where he had gone wrong with her that evening. For a reason he could not understand the bed looked uninviting without her in it. He realized he probably would not sleep in it at all that night.

(This is the last of the 'Drama' series. Review if you can. And for those worried about certain elements of the story that you still have ? about, it is my goal to have it all be resolved by the end of this story.)


	28. Information

Information

"And then that infuriating man had the nerve to answer 'attend me'!"

Maya's mouth dropped open. "Oh no, _he didn't_."

"Oh, yes, he did," said Amanda, arms crossed.

"Are you still going on that interview today?"

"Hell yes, I am. Zurel's bringing me there in exactly one half hour."

"Good for you, girl, for walking away and not busting Sarek in the eye or something."

She looked slightly guilty. "Well I did threaten to set the bed on fire if I slept in it with him." The two women were standing outside and began to laugh hard. Then Amanda frowned. "I do feel terribly about the fact that we had that argument."

"Was it really an argument?" asked Maya, amazed. "I can't imagine Sarek getting angry."

"More on my part it was, I was the one that raised my voice. But he kept bringing up my not being logical! I could have sworn he was intentionally pushing my buttons every time he did that. Every time I think back on it I keep thinking, 'Well pardon me for being Terran'."

Maya shrugged. "He knew what he was getting into when he married you. He'll survive."

"And I knew what I was getting into. I guess we both did." She sighed as she looked down at the paved ground just outside their home. "You want to come with me in the shuttle?"

Maya smiled and nodded. "Sokam's been paranoid about me being out of his sight lately. I'll be honest with you. I don't think he has two weeks left. I'm seeing the change coming up on him too fast. He's in constant meditation now, trying to control himself. I've got ten days, tops, and then I'm going to be getting manhandled for days in a row." She shuddered. "I wish I could prepare for it or something."

Amanda stood there in deep thought for a few seconds. "Well why can't you?" she suddenly asked.

"I don't know, can I? Would that be a taboo?" She sighed heavily.

Amanda thought about it some more. "We can talk to Healer T'Niye. She's made it more than known she's available for any questions we have that need answers."

Maya sighed. "That's true. But Sokam's told me that-" she swallowed hard. "I'll be in pain and I'll be tired, exhausted. And because I'm Terran there's a good chance I'm going to wind up being very damaged from the experience, not just physically either. I guess Vulcan women are built for this."

Amanda sighed, eyes full of worry and thought. "I think I might have an idea. I think I know what we can do. Because it's both our problem, right? It's going to be me in two years."

Maya sensed Amanda's mind was on a roll. "You _do_ have an idea."

"But I think because it's not me on the chopping block yet and it's a friend I'm thinking of, I can see it from the outside and deal with it better. How about we get you a stockpile of stuff?"

"Like?"

Her mind began casting about. "Tri-ox shots, energy shots, pain hypos, water, the whole nine yards. Hell I'll even see if we can get you an aphrodisiac so you'll enjoy every minute of it."

"Amanda, I don't even think those exist," she laughed.

"Let's get all the information we need and then we'll talk to T'Niye and see if all of this is even okay. And even if it isn't, the hell with it, we can sneak it in!"

Maya thought about it and for the first time she felt something other than dread at the thought of Pon Farr. "Okay."

Amanda should have known things were not going to be so simple. She was getting into the shuttle with Zurel when Sarek himself stepped out of the gate and walked onto the shuttle to accompany her. "What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even. She hadn't spoken to him since their blow-up the night before and she hadn't planned to yet until she had a chance to get her anger over the situation under control.

"I only wish to accompany you," he said. "There is no reason I should not see the school where my wife wishes to seek employment, is there not?"

She found herself folding her arms and just looking at him with eyes of pure suspicion as Zurel took off and began taking them to their destination. Amanda's annoyance hitched up a notch when she sensed Sarek's amusement at her annoyance with him. She was as close as she'd ever been to wanting to inflict violence on him. If it weren't for Zurel sitting but a few feet away she wished she could take something, anything, and hit him with it.

He caught the stray thought through their bond. _Does this mean you are ready to return to our joint chamber this evening, Amanda?_

She looked at him, shocked. He wasn't at all joking. He thought her wanting to strike him was some sexual fetish. She turned her head from him and simply looked forward.

He had had difficulty sleeping the night before. Since he did not truly need an excessive amount of sleep, he had simply foregone it. When the courier arrived that morning, he was able to immediately sign off on the package and hand it over to Zymak who then left his residence. Though he had nothing personally against Zymak, he was relieved the V'Shar member was gone from his compound. But he knew it was not the last he had seen of them.

They arrived at the location of the school a little under an hour later. The commute was a little long, but she remembered traveling back on Terra Prime an upwards of two hours on some days just to get to school.

The school was in what could be termed a small village. It was quiet and isolated. This was a part of Vulcan Amanda never thought she would get to see. It was full of compounds presumably with entire families behind them. The school itself contained its own compound, but the courtyard was open, not enclosed like the private residences. Zurel landed in a section just next to the village where everyone else seemed to have landed their shuttles. As she exited the vehicle, Amanda saw a large door swing open from the school. A woman in robes was coming toward them and at first glance Amanda could not see her face.

The woman approached and as she drew closer, Amanda's pulse quickened. Red hair. The woman had red hair. She swallowed back a smile until she was close enough to confirm, she was Terran.

The woman broke into a large smile, "Hello! I'm Patricia Stavriotis…well, I was Stavriotis. I can't pronounce my other last name, yet."

"Is your husband a Vulcan?" whispered Amanda.

Patricia smiled. "Yes."

Amanda sighed in relief. "Mine, too."

It didn't seem possible, but the redhead's smile grew even wider. "I knew there was one other woman out there, but I never had a chance to meet her. Would that be you?"

"No, actually, I'm new."

She looked amazed. "So now there's three?"

"No, now there are four," smiled Amanda. "My friend married my husband's cousin."

She seemed taken aback. "That's just amazing." She then shook herself back to her senses. "I'm so sorry! You're here for an interview, not the third degree. Come inside, let's look at your resume and talk."

Before they could make it to the school, however, they both heard Sarek say, as he emerged from the shuttle, "I wish to accompany my wife if you do not find the request too intrusive."

Amanda looked thoroughly annoyed, but Patricia found it hilarious. "They're so ridiculous with us, aren't they?" she whispered as low as she could in a semi-conspiratorial voice. Then she said, directed at Sarek, "That would be fine Mr.-"

"Sarek," he answered.

Her eyes widened. "Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness! You're the ambassador for Terra Prime! I thought I recognized you!"

"Was," he interjected.

"Come inside, come inside, both of you!" she insisted. "Soryn will want to meet you, as well."

Soryn was unable to leave his duties at that time, so Sarek waited inside the school on a chair, just outside the room where _T'Sai_ Patricia was interviewing Amanda. The school was one of an ancient design, not like the more advanced ones in the cities. The technology was just as advanced, but the layout was different. The city schools put students directly into domes where they had interactive lessons. In the villages, the students had their own isolation fields outside. Instead of a dome that surrounded and cut them off from their neighbors, they operated inside transparent force fields. It enabled them to see, but not hear, their neighbors and still have their full lesson. The only advantage it seemed to create was the children from the village schools were able to not only multitask, but they also learned to function within an area of seeming chaos and to block out all visual distractions faster than the city students.

He turned and observed several young Vulcan students in the courtyard behind their own transparent isolation fields, solving equations, correcting theorems and deciphering codes. He had seen Vulcan adult students in a room within the school itself, seemingly working on some form of writing assignment. He assumed from the subject matter hovering in the air from the holo projector that it was one of the classes Amanda would either be teaching or assisting.

He was still very uncomfortable with his wife working so far away from home and in the company of so many full grown males. It was not logical to put ones self into a position where your safety may be compromised. Yet his wife still did not understand the dangers lurking under these circumstances. The Terran female that worked at this school, she was within range of her bond mate at all times. Her safety was, technically, not an issue, though he did not think it was logical to allow any Terran female to work among so many strong possibly unbonded males while remaining unprotected.

He saw a male approaching him at that time. He was a Vulcan of average height and very slim build with brown hair; a few strands of his hair bordered on sandy colored along with some silver at the sides of his hair nearest his ears. "I am Soryn," he announced himself as he approached. He raised his hand and said, "Live long and prosper. My bond mate has alerted me to your presence, Ambassador Sarek."

Sarek also raised the ta'al and had to admit to a small fascination of meeting another male outside his family who'd opted to marry a Terran female. "Peace and long life," he returned the greeting.

"Your travel here was uneventful, I trust?" asked Soryn.

Sarek marveled. The man possessed the ability called 'small talk'. It was no wonder he had decided to add classes in Colloquial Standard to this school. "Yes, uneventful."

The other Vulcan looked at the door where his bondmate and Amanda were talking and then thought better of entering. "They are engaged in a private conversation. I will delay my entry," said Soryn.

Sarek wondered what this private conversation was about. He attempted to access the bond and he found himself blocked. Amanda was learning her way around the marital bond quite quickly. His eyebrow rose. "Fascinating."

####

"Your qualifications for this job, Lady Amanda-"

"Just Amanda," she asked.

"Fine, just Amanda," smiled Patricia. "Really you're slightly overqualified. But if you want the job, you've got it."

Amanda's face broke into a large grin. "I've got the job?"

"You've got the job," she said again with her own grin.

Amanda was so joyous, she didn't know what to think. "Thank you so much," she said.

"Thank _you_," said Patricia. "I didn't think we were going to find anyone else to fill this post that could actually speak the language _and_ that understood the customs and culture."

Amanda looked nervous, "If you don't mind my asking-"

"How did Soryn and I wind up together?" she asked, still smiling.

That wasn't exactly what Amanda had wanted to ask, but she decided that that might ease things really well into asking about what she was truly curious to hear. "Yes, how did that happen?"

Patricia frowned. "I met him on Terra Prime years ago. I guess it might be creepy to some people who don't understand about Vulcans and age, but he's already just past a century old. Anyway, when I met him I was just out of high school and he found me annoying. He would never admit that out loud but I could tell. And you know what? I _was_ annoying back then. I didn't see him again for almost a decade. Can you believe that? A decade later I ran into him at a teacher's conference. He remarked on my 'rapid maturation'. I guess he meant I was no longer a pain in the butt.

"Anyway, I didn't think anything of it at the time. And then I assigned my class the wrong writing assignment. How would their lives be different if the Terran Empire never rose to power? The wrong student got upset and next thing I knew, I found myself accused of a Thought Crime. I never even imagined the essay would be a problem like that! So then I got charged, I got arrested, I went to court. Of course I was convicted. Then I found myself on a prison ship headed for Vulcan. I get here and within a month Soryn comes to spring me. But he says there's a catch. I have to marry him because he's in his own kind of trouble. So I say, all right, whatever. Anything's better than prison, right?" She looked away, uneasy. "I had no idea the 'trouble' he was in."

Amanda's voice lowered, though she knew no one could hear them past the thick stone walls. "So you made it through?"

"Barely," confided Patricia. "There were things I wish I'd known ahead of time, so I'm telling you now since I can see that nervous look in your eye." She nodded her head. "You didn't hear this from me, but I think he hated himself for a while after that. It took some time, but we got past it and that's the important thing."

Amanda found it ironic that they were speaking of the very thing she needed to know. Then again, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. This woman probably didn't have any other Terrans to talk to. She was slogging this out on her own, day by day, in a culture not her own and she was still sane and functioning. Amanda leaned on the desk in front of her and whispered, "What can you tell me?"

Patricia also leaned forward. "The first two days aren't that bad, I guess, if you catch it early enough. Its days three through five that you start wishing either you could die or you could ride the rest of it out unconscious. Soryn didn't sleep _at all_ on those days. The last three days after that weren't so bad. Soryn started coming back to his senses more and more then and he slept, too, but only a little bit. He kept trying to use medical scanners and dermaplast kits when he was lucid enough. But for the next few weeks afterward they're still not themselves. You have to be delicate with them at that time. They need you then more than at any other time in my opinion, because they're in their right mind again and they remember what they did to you. And they hate themselves for being out of control that way, especially for hurting you. After that time period passes, they're back to normal again, confident, in control. But they look at you from time to time and you can tell they're thinking, 'what if I kill her next time'?"

Amanda's face had gone as white as a sheet.

"Oh my goodness, look what I've done to you. Is his Time soon?"

"No, not for over two years. It's my friend…her bond mate's Time is soon. She's worried…I'm worried for her."

Patricia sighed. "Well, tell her to tie him down on the second night while he's sleeping. That'll make it go a lot better. I wish I'd thought of that before. I had to trick him into restraints in the middle of the third day. She can untie him after the fifth day."

Amanda gawked at her. "Tie him down?"

"Well why not?"

She smacked herself in the forehead. "Why didn't I think of that before? I'll add that to my suggestions for her."

Patricia smiled. "What have you come up with so far?"

"Pain hypos, tri-ox shots-"

"Oh, I could have used some tri-ox! I could barely breathe sometimes."

"Energy shots-"

"I actually did do that," said Patricia. "Don't do more than one a day. The side effects aren't worth it. You can't sleep when you should and when you crash, you crash HARD. There's nothing like getting woken up by your husband not in his right mind to copulate and you can't even think straight from exhaustion."

"Something to inject him with-"

"Try and get close enough, I dare you," she actually laughed out loud.

"An aphrodisiac for the Terran?"

Her eyes widened. "The Orions make something like that. I don't know exactly what it entails, but I know it exists."

Amanda sat back, actually relieved. "I can't believe how much you've helped me so far. First the job, now this."

Patricia looked almost sentimental. "I don't think you understand. I've been here now for almost two years and I haven't seen a Terran face since. Soryn isn't exactly a city man and he never wants to go into Shi'kahr so I can at least walk through the Terran section. He hasn't said it out loud, but he thinks the more people that know about us, the more likely it is someone will try to take me from him. I was barely accepted here, at first, but I guess I've grown on them. He's always paranoid…he hates me using that word for him, but _all_ Vulcan males have become paranoid since this whole mate shortage thing and the possessiveness is just running rampant with them. They always think some unbonded young male is going to show up as a challenger at their next kal-i-fee. As if I'd ever even look at another man!" She nodded. "I had boyfriends before Soryn, but no one ever treated me so good. No one ever gave me the courtesy, the respect, the _ashau_ I get from him. There'll never be another for as long as I live."

She was actually touched as she smiled. Then she remembered to ask, "What days do you want me to come in and work?"

The Terran woman looked exasperated with herself. "Listen to me, prattling on. Soryn says I can become so illogical when I get lost in a conversation. I'm sorry. We should be talking about the job." They both laughed. "Two days a week, Mondays and Thursdays, four hours after sunrise and stay for about five hours. One half hour break in between. The break is for you, not for them."

"I know. Vulcans don't take breaks."

"It's an immersion class, so the students already speak Standard. They just need to learn to loosen it up a little. Learn small talk. Learn the meaning of idioms and things of that nature. You'll only have about seven students, so that's what you'll be working with. You have freedom to run your class however you run it since this is kind of an experiment. And I'm sure your husband will be relieved to know, most of your students are female."

"Thank you so much, Patricia."

"And I'll see you next week starting Monday, Amanda."

_(Sorry it took so long! I might update again tomorrow morning or tomorrow night, I'm not sure at this point. - J.S.)_


	29. Changes

_Sorry for the tiny chapter, but it felt right to leave it where it's at. Also, sorry for not updating sooner. I had a little injury and wasn't able to function for a few days. - J.S._

Changes

Mariana was in a happiness haze as she sat on the return shuttle from work being flown by Shin. A bunch of great things had happened that day. A really good-looking Terran had asked her out while she was at work in the restaurant and on impulse she accepted. And that was the other thing. Work. The Vulcan Academy Hospital made her an offer of a job in their xeno-clinical section as a nurse. The Healer that had surveyed her initial work on Demek had been so impressed by it he'd recommended her for the job. At his insistence she'd sent them her resume and within an hour she'd received a return offer. She was stunned at first. She didn't think she would ever want to go back to nursing, but she found it was like a siren's call. She loved helping people.

She had to admit, taking care of dirty old men was a major pet peeve, but working in the ER of one of the worst ghettos had fried her brain over a year before. She had walked away from the profession thinking she would never want to do it again. But the moment it was dangled in front of her, she had accepted the offer in a heartbeat. It would be, thankfully, in a clinic, not an ER like before.

To top everything off, she was also going back into the Terran section that night to look at a two bedroom apartment. Things were changing for her again, fast.

As soon as she got home she told Dana the news about everything. "So, what do you think?" she finished up with.

"I'm really happy for you about the job situation, but why do you need a two-bedroom apartment?" asked Dana.

"Duh! I need a roommate. I'm not ready to live alone here."

Dana's face broke into a huge grin and she hugged her dramatically. "I knew you loved me!" And they both laughed. "But I don't even have a real job yet. I might not find anything for months, Mariana, that's not fair to you."

"It's all right. With the credits Sarek gave us when we first got here I already have enough from my portion for the first month's rent. I didn't go on any spending sprees or anything, so I was able to save most of it. And I get paid from my restaurant job for the first time this weekend, so I can get food with that money."

"Oh, I can give you the portion of my credits that I have left over for the security deposit. But you're going to have two jobs. Are you crazy?"

"Just until I start getting paid by the clinic. I'll see if I can juggle the restaurant hours until then, I think, and then I'll quit if I can't."

"Hopefully the internship will pay off by then and I can get a paying job after it's done…well at least those were the terms of the internship, that if I performed well I might get a job out of them. And I've been working my ass off while I'm there, you know."

"See! We're almost there. We won't have any furniture for awhile, but we'll have our own place. So come with me tonight to look at the apartment."

Dana thought about it as she looked around the guest house. But everywhere she looked, she saw reminders of Cassie. She looked down at Mariana's expectant face and gave in. "All right. Let's do it!"

####

Maya sat there, in shock of the information being given to her. "So she says I should _tie him down_ when he falls asleep on day two?"

"Yes," answered Amanda, "she said that he's not going to sleep much after that…like barely. So tie him down when you can and leave him tied up for the next three days."

She honestly scratched her head. "Okay." But her eyes said 'I don't know about this'.

Amanda smiled. "You're going to be fine. _We're_ going to be fine."

Maya sighed. "I got some news today."

"Oh? Did you speak to your sister?"

Maya smiled, "I spoke to her yesterday, she's fine. No, that's not the news I got. Sokam's been accepted into the VSA's Healer training program."

Amanda did a happy-dance and said excitedly, "Good for him!"

"Yeah, but…" She swallowed. "He gets a tiny compound with a house of his own right near the school because of his new status. Apparently Healers are a big deal here. So he just let me know that we're moving next week. I didn't want to put any stress on him since he's not exactly in his right mind now, but I'm a little bit upset he didn't talk to me about it first like he promised we would. After we're settled then I can get some kind of job, I guess. Other than that, I don't know what I'm going to do here. I still don't even know where I'm _at_. But I guess it's only normal he and I should have our own place and not keep sponging off of you guys."

Amanda should have been happy for her. But all she knew was that she'd just gotten the news that it looked as if Dana and Mariana were moving away that very weekend. And now Maya was telling her she would be gone the following week. "That's great," she said, though she didn't really mean it. "I mean, I know all of you felt badly for 'living off of us', even though we didn't see it that way-"

"I don't want to go, either, Amanda. But I guess it's better this way. We're all adults and living together like this, all sandwiched together and up in each other's lives…it can't be healthy. Even now, the thought of leaving you and Sarek and leaving Dana, Mariana, Shin and Zurel…" Maya's eyes filled with tears and she quickly wiped them away.

She tried to hold it in, but couldn't. "It feels like my family is falling apart!" sobbed Amanda.

Then the two of them were crying. They were sitting in Maya's old bedroom in Sarek's home, fortunately in private. "I feel like such an idiot crying about this," Maya laughed through her tears.

"I know. We all knew everyone would move soon, but I had no idea it would come _this_ soon. And for goodness sakes, who am I going to talk to when I fight with Sarek?"

And then they were both laughing, tears still on their faces. "We're going to have to live with these Vulcans on our own, I guess," said Maya.

"We'll all still have each other," Amanda said with a small grin as she wiped her tears away.

"It's not like we're all moving across the planet or anything," agreed Maya. "I can come visit you anytime and you can come visit me. We can go and crash at Mariana and Dana's place anytime, too."

"But still, it makes me sad."

####

The day grew later and Sarek's thoughts about what he would say to the council were coming along, though not as quickly or coherently as he wished they could. It was less than three days until he had to stand before the Joint Council and he still had yet to finish his report. He knew he was in for another long session of meditation, that evening. Apart of him was also concerned about Demek. Why had someone inflicted harm on such an older man? What could he possibly have stumbled across? He already knew he wished to go and see Demek as soon as he was awake, which could happen at anytime.

He was also troubled by the prospect of T'Pau coming to see Amanda, which he knew was going to happen very soon. She had spent this time without coming to examine the Terran female only because, he knew, she was formulating some plan. It was her way. He had received information from an acceptable source that T'Pau had learned of Sokam's bond with Maya and was even more displeased about it than she had been about his bond to Amanda.

But what he needed to ascertain was how to protect Amanda from such intense displeasure. And he honestly did not know how that was going to happen. But one thing was certain. His wife _would_ be respected, come what may. He turned from those thoughts.

He was more than troubled about Amanda having employment so far from home. His eyes closed as he drifted into a semi-meditative state. Honesty washed over him as he took out and examined his intentions concerning his wife.

He did not wish harm to come to her. It was the reason he did not want her so far from home. But he had to acknowledge, his wife's wish to not be idle was not in any way vain. It did not even have to do with pride. She was correct. She had spent a significant amount of time attending school and fueling a future career. And idleness was not the Vulcan way. For her to seek employment was commendable, vital even for her stability. But to obtain such work so far from home? Another part of him knew two days a week was not at all Amanda's idea of full time work. He knew she had compromised, yet again, for his sake.

He looked at it from that point of view, suddenly. How much had his wife given up? Although it was mostly necessary given the trouble she'd found herself in, he would never require her to sacrifice her entire life for his whims. And he had to acknowledge, his desire for her not to be in danger was clouding his perception of things. He wished to keep his wife at home with him at all times and he knew it was not logical for him to expect her to do so. She would certainly chafe at that requirement. A Vulcan woman would find it a waste of time to remain at home while not raising children. Why would he expect anything less of his wife? Simply because she was Terran?

He then thought of what he said to her when she asked what she should do while she remained at home. "Attend me." He had to wonder how, at the time, he considered that a wise thing to say to her while she was already angry. Perhaps he was growing a sense of humor the longer he remained tied to her? No. He had not meant to be humorous. He had only been attempting to protect his wife. But it was time for him, he knew, to allow her to become her own person in his world in whatever way she saw fit. Her satisfaction was what mattered, did it not? And if she was not satisfied with her life they would both suffer for it.


	30. Revealing Things

_Sorry, guys, this is one more 'filler chapter' before I go back into the heavy stuff. I had to have them 'make up' before I went on any further. - J.S._

_P.S. Congratulations to jazz-sparks for being my 100th reviewer!  
_

Revealing Things

Sarek rose that morning. He had spent an unusually long time in a meditative state the night before. His logic was finally beginning to finish coalescing into concrete concepts for his planned arguments to the council. For starters, he realized he had previously been going about things incorrectly. The council would most certainly not take well to having suggestions delivered to them as far as what to do with their planet's still single males. What needed to be done, he finally understood, was to cast a spotlight on the deficiency in logic that reigned while the situation remained as it was. Parallels would have to be drawn to make his point. But he knew he had to be careful lest he step on the wrong points. One wrong comparison could cause him to be escorted out never to be seen by the council again. T'Pau's kinsman, ambassador, high ranking in society, none of it would matter if he treaded lightly or incorrectly upon this situation.

Also paramount in his mind was the fact that Amanda had not slept in their bed two nights in a row. Had she have been simply away on an excursion or taking care of something that took her away from their home for an extended amount of time, it would have been different. But his wife was still avoiding him since their argument night before last.

He thought back to something said by her.

"_Well what about me, Mr. Superior?" she asked. "Do you care what I might think you sound like right now?"_

"_And what is that?" he asked, honestly wishing to know._

"_You sound like a male chauvinist pig who thinks he needs to tell me what to do!"_

Understanding was only beginning to dawn as he walked out of their bedroom and found his way to the other side of the house.

####

Amanda had been up with the rising of the sun. She hadn't slept well two nights in a row. At least the second night she'd scrounged up nearly five hours of sleep.

Having been up at least two hours at that point, Amanda was already cleaned, dressed and nourished. She sat in the guest bedroom making plans for her first day of class the following week. She was more than excited. She hoped that the school day made up for the fact that all of her friends were leaving. All of them except for Zurel, because even Shin was going. Sarek had gotten Shin specifically for Maya's protection and he'd insisted she take the man with her the following week since he was proficient in four of Terra Prime's martial arts.

She put her stylus down. It was awful, not talking to Sarek this way. But he didn't seem to understand her thoughts or feelings on the subject of working the job of her choice and she knew she didn't have the patience to put it together as logically as he thought she should. She knew she had a very bad temper and the last thing she wanted to do was something awful like start breaking things in a colossal tantrum. So she decided it was best to stay apart from Sarek until she could either stop being so angry or figure out a logical point of view to present him some concrete facts. Because there was no way he was going to respond to pure emotion from her. It simply was not his way and she had to respect that.

The door opened and there was Sarek, standing there, looking at her. She swallowed. Even while she was still angry with him she found him wonderful to look at. "Sarek," she addressed him, trying to sound like her normal self.

"May I enter, wife?" he asked.

"You may," she said, ready to be as calm as she could while speaking with him. "How can I help you this morning?"

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, but he didn't move from the spot after that. "Am I to understand from your words the night before last that you found my dealings with you distasteful involving this employment situation?"

She sighed tiredly. Why did he want to do this now? And why this early in the day? "Yes, Sarek," she said in the same discouraged tone she used to use with her teachers in school when she had the feeling they were baiting her into incriminating herself into something before she received a very long lecture. She was now waiting for him to launch into words explaining why her sentiments were not logical. She decided ahead of time, no matter what he said, she would just let it go and get angry. He had to be who he was just as much as she had to be who she was.

"Amanda, I wish to hear your thoughts about the way I presented my request to you."

"Which ones?" she asked, surprised but still guarded. "I mean, which thoughts were you interested in."

"All of them."

She blinked. "Why?"

"Why? I do not understand, in what context am I being asked this question?"

"Why do you want to hear them from me? I mean, couldn't you just meld with me and get the sense of what I'm thinking?" She avoided the word 'feeling' since that could touch off another line of argument between them if he said something disparaging about her talking about her feelings.

"I do not wish you to think I suppose myself superior to you, Amanda. I wish for you to understand that my ways and your ways are equally valid from our cultural points of view. And though I do have a predisposition to seeing logic as superior, I strive in my thoughts to remember that your ways are concrete from your point of view. Therefore I wish to hear you present your thoughts, in your own way, in words, since reducing them to a meld format could cause some of their meaning to be lost in translation."

Amanda sat there, taken aback. Was this a trick? She decided she would give him the benefit of the doubt. This was her husband, after all, not some school professor. "Okay, Sarek, I'll give it to you straight. Sometimes I think you feel that you've married a moron who feels first and thinks later. That it would have been better for you to take a V'Tosh Ka'tur as a bride because at least then she would have been a Vulcan and not a feeble-minded weak-bodied Terran. That maybe you married me because you truly did feel bad about the situation I so foolishly got myself into. That I'm so stupid, you need to tell me what to do, even down to which job I should or should not interview for or take."

He was surprised at her assessment of what she thought was in his mind. But he said he wanted to know her thoughts…

"And then I remember that you would never _feel_ these things since feelings come from emotions and it wouldn't be logical to feel any of those ways or even for you to feel at all. And then I think of it from a logical point of view." She looked down at her hands as the honesty spilled forth from her lips. "And I know it's true, I am not logical first. And yes, maybe you should have married another Vulcan, Syrranite or not. That would have been much more logical. And maybe I did wind up being fortunate enough to marry the man I love so much, even if it was just because he felt terribly about my situation. And that it would be logical for you to be concerned about me working so far from home on a planet with such a stark wife shortage and so many males in need."

She swallowed back her tears. "And then I realize that those terrible thoughts I have, putting me down, the ones I assume you have, the positive and negative…that really it's me with those thoughts, not you. That really I'm afraid that you'll wake up one day and realize you just needed a mate and I was the only logical choice compared to what you could have had: some Terran woman you didn't even know or you possibly dying if nothing else came along in the meantime."

Sarek sat there sifting through everything that had been presented to him. His wife was insecure about her place in their home, on his world, about her permanency in his mind, in their relationship? This would not do. "First, I must alleviate your mind of several misunderstandings."

She knew there would be a lecture in all of this somewhere! But she only sighed tiredly and didn't say anything. He had to be who he was, after all…

"Amanda, the day you came to me, ready to be shipped to my planet, I had a Vulcan bride here, waiting for me."

She looked up abruptly. "What?"

"When I saw your name on the prison list, I could not let that fate befall you. I turned down the Vulcan bride and chose you. And I would choose you again if the situation were presented to me over again. Not simply because I wished to spare you of such a terrible outcome, but also because I knew that above all others you preferred my company. To you I was real, not simply a duty to fulfill. And you are more than simply another obligation to me. You are my chosen wife. And though you are not logical as one of my people would be, you are the most logical choice for me."

She hadn't expected to hear this at all. "Sarek?"

"When you departed the embassy so many months before, it did not matter how much or how long I meditated. I could not remove you from my mind. Yes, time passed. But the lasting impression of you in my memory had imprinted so thoroughly…" He had no words to finish his sentence.

"You missed me?" she asked, in awe.

He was still standing there in the same spot he had been when he entered the room, his face still blank as he admitted, "I suffered a form of emptiness due to the lack of your presence."

The full connotation of what he was saying was like the twisting turn of a metal screw being driven into her mind. She swallowed back tears as she realized _He loves me. He'll never say it since it isn't his way, but Sarek of Vulcan loves me. He's loved me for a long time. He married me because he loves me and not simply because he needed a wife for his impending Time._ She knew he could hear her thoughts since she wasn't doing anything to hide them. And when he did not deny the words she'd thought, she found herself crying real tears of happiness. She couldn't help but to stand and swiftly throw herself into his arms.

He caught her and held her tight to him as he said, "I did not wish my words to you that night to be construed as a man who needed to tell his wife where to go or what to think. I simply wish to keep she who is my most cherished close to me and safe."

"I'm not giving up the job, Sarek," came her muffled words as her face remained pressed into his robes.

"Indeed, it would not be logical to do so simply because of the uncertainty of another."

She looked up into his still serious face, her tears streaming, and nodded. "So I can keep the job without it being a problem between us?"

"Do you wish to keep it?"

"Yes."

"Then by all means, you must keep it, Amanda."

She was still looking up into his eyes, arms still around him. And though his face was straight, she could see the emotions for her clearly in his eyes. He would never speak on them verbally. She was only beginning to suspect that to dredge up such raw emotion from a Vulcan could be potentially dangerous. His love for her, she could tell anytime she waded through it via their bond, was deep and dark and violent, a word worse than 'dangerous'. With it came the potential for a volatile obsession and death to anyone who stood in its path. This was the reason emotions in Vulcans, especially love, had to be controlled at all cost. That someone like him could feel this for her and also keep it chained to keep from hurting her…

His eyes widened in comprehension as her realizations bled into his mind via their bond. "You understand," was all he said, honestly awestruck as his forehead met hers gently. Something inside him was shifting, a new part of himself was coming to the fore as he realized she who was his understood these things so deeply though he'd never even broached the subject.

The door behind them was already shut and he was still holding her to him in an embrace and he was grateful for that. He allowed his control to slip as his hands quickly began removing her clothing. The compulsion was so strong, overwhelming, to see the bare skin and body of his wife and mark her as his repeatedly. The guest bed would have to do since he didn't think he had the patience to make it all the way back across the house to their bedchamber.

Amanda gasped in surprise as Sarek began removing her clothing so urgently. She saw it through their bond, he was being taken by that deep, bottomless emotion right now, before her eyes. He had previously never allowed it free reign between them.

Their lovemaking in the past had been energetic, vigorous, and at times even intense. But it didn't compare to what passed between them that morning.

Through the entire encounter, he held her as close to him as possible, minds fully merged together. His eyes never left hers, save for the times he marked her with his teeth. She understood partway through that he needed her to mark him as well while they were connected like this and made sure to bite down on his chest as hard as she could. He released an uncontrolled groan of pleasure as he began to take her even more vigorously and she thought she might be swallowed by the heavy emotion washing over them both faster.

After nearly two hours they both came to completion, their bodies sweat soaked. She was spent and shaking. She suspected he'd only allowed things to stop to allow her not to pass out, not only from the physical intensity of the encounter, but the emotional bottomless pit he'd pulled her into and allowed to temporarily consume them both.

They lay together, gasping, as he whispered in Vulcan, "_Yes, ashayam, that must be controlled at all times, at all costs. It is all-consuming and can bring us both to ruin if it is allowed to reign supreme. But that you truly understand…I will not dwell on it at this moment lest I take you again…"_


	31. Acceptance and Denial

Acceptance and Denial

The two stayed together for the rest of that morning. Sarek carried Amanda across the house and into their bathroom to tend to the injuries she received during their extended bout of unrestrained coupling. He looked at the bite marks he'd put on her skin in the area of her neck and clavicle. "I was not aware of marking you this many times," he said as he swabbed them with antiseptic, slightly troubled at having lost control to that degree. "Do they cause discomfort?"

She smiled up at him and forced herself not to winch in pain as he cleaned them. "Have you ever heard the expression 'hurts so good'?"

His eyebrow rose. "No."

"I know how I got them and that's what's important."

He nodded. "I highly recommend you contact T'Niye at the earliest convenience so you do not have permanent markings on your skin. I know Terran vanity prizes clear skin."

She smiled up at him. "I'll do that. But what would you say to my keeping one of them?"

He wanted to growl in approval but forced himself to fight it back. "That would be satisfactory."

Amanda laughed. She knew what that really meant.

Later that day as Amanda sat in the Common Room working on her lesson plans, Sarek stepped into the room. His face remained calm, but his movements were certainly more hurried than usual. "You must prepare. I will also inform Sokam and Maya. T'Pau will be here within the hour. She will not delay."

Amanda was not at all embarrassed about the way she jumped up and ran for their bedroom. She always thought she would be ready for the older woman whenever she decided to come and examine her. But she honestly hadn't expected her nerves to consume her the way they were at that moment. She got herself into the shower on the water setting first then afterward switched it to the sonic setting. She found that the double treatment ensured no lingering aftereffects of lovemaking remained on her skin for sensitive Vulcan noses to pick up on.

She did her hair and wore her most next to official robes to greet the elder woman. As she exited her room and stepped out into the Common Room, Sokam and Maya were already there, waiting. She saw the look on Maya's face. If at all possible her very brown-skinned friend seemed to have gone pale. She expected her to be nervous, just like her, excited maybe. But from the expression on her face she detected…nothing. And it troubled her. "Maya?"

"I already know, Amanda. She's not going to accept me."

She smiled at her. "Why would you say a thing like that?"

"You're suited to Sarek, in a way, even if you're not a Vulcan. You come from a High House on Terra Prime and he's from a high house here. I picked it up from Sokam by accident. He doesn't even know that I know. But she's going to reject me entering their clan and he married me anyway."

Amanda smiled at her and tried to be reassuring, but she was disturbed by the fact that Maya seemed to have already accepted T'Pau's supposed impending rejection of her as Sokam's wife. "You don't know that for a fact, Maya, that you'll be denied by her."

Maya said nothing else.

####

Soon enough, within the allotted time, Zurel let them know that the elder was at the gates of their compound. The two couples stood outside to receive her. She would not enter the home that day. Sarek and Amanda stood in the foreground while Sokam and Maya stood just behind them.

The clan matriarch had her own personal guard whose faces below the eyes were covered by a black shroud, four in total, carrying _ahn-woons_ in their belts and _lirpas_ in their hands. She was being carried into the property on a palanquin like one of the noblewomen of ancient Rome. It was borne aloft by an additional four burly Vulcan guards. There were eight tall muscular Vulcan males, in total, surrounding the older woman whose face was just beginning to be lined by age, her hair still raven black. Simultaneously, despite and because of her age, she was beautiful. But solely because of her age the air of nobility that clung to her was unmistakable and quite marked.

As soon as the elder's litter was set down on the ground Amanda wondered what convinced any of them that leaving this older woman out in the midday sun was a wise idea. Then she remembered that this heat was nothing to the matriarch. If anything, it was the Terrans who were most uncomfortable.

T'Pau raised the ta'al. "Greetings, Sarek. I will not delay the reason for my visit. The female by the name of Amanda Grayson, daughter of General Grayson, will come forth," said the elder as she looked upon both Terrans with a straight face. But there was no mistaking that look. Her eyes were not pleased.

Amanda found herself swallowing back fear and intimidation, but she stepped forward bravely. "This is my name," she answered as she did as Sarek previously directed she should and kneeled before the old woman for her to touch her psi points. When the feather light touch graced her head, she felt almost nothing as the woman shifted quickly through her mind and found the point of the bond between herself and Sarek.

"The bond is intact and strong," she pronounced. "You may rise." Amanda did so, but found herself wanting to question her about something, anything… "You are the daughter of a man of high ranking in the Empire and a daughter born from a High House. I do not find this bond a desirable union, but given the current situation Sarek could have chosen something less desirable." Ss she said the last two words her eyes shifted to the brown-skinned young woman who stood next to Sokam, still waiting.

Amanda turned to her friend, pained at the words that were obviously directed at her. Maya said nothing in response. The young woman simply stood there and lifted her chin almost proudly.

"Return to the side of your bond mate," T'Pau directed Amanda. As she did so, the elder female announced, "I would see the Terran named Maya Toussaint."

Maya stepped forward. "I am Maya," she said and kneeled as Amanda had just done. T'Pau's hand shot out and when she connected with the young woman's psi points her displeasure did not abate. However, she was intrigued by what she found. "Fascinating," she whispered. So what she had been told about this one was true… "You may rise," she pronounced as she looked at the Terran young woman with new thoughts forming in her mind. "Maya Toussaint, though your bond with Sokam is strong, aided only by your telepathic abilities, you are not an appropriate bride for him in any way. Your station is not on par with his. Your talents and abilities would best be served elsewhere." She waited for the young woman to say something, but Maya only looked back at her as she stood and backed up, anger contained.

"Sokam," said T'Pau as she then looked at him. "Your bond need not remain. It can be stripped. There is still time to pair you with another more suitable female. There was one waiting for Sarek that he did not make use of. Perhaps she could serve you in your Time instead of the inappropriate female you have chosen during your altered mental state."

His jaw clenched, but he maintained his composure. "Maya is mine and will remain so until she no longer wishes it."

"Very well," said T'Pau. "But I will not sanction your union. The only way it can be so is if an elder makes it so during your Time. And I am unaware of one who will."

"That may be," said Sokam, "but our bond is strong and I will not allow it to be dissolved."

"Your bond may be strong, but is she?" asked T'Pau as she looked at Maya who only stood there, anger mounting but still not speaking. "She is small in height, even for Terran standards. She is bound to be physically weak. She may not survive what is coming. It would be in both your best interests to dissolve this bond, Sokam, to find another and for her to go on to the V'Shar as they have requested and serve in whatever capacity they may wish with her unique abilities."

"The V'Shar will not touch her!" exploded Sokam.

"Come to me, Sokam," ordered T'Pau. "Give me your thoughts."

Something deeply ingrained in his DNA forced him to listen to the words of the older woman. He kneeled before her and let her examine him.

"You are too close now to think clearly of this thing. You bonded yourself to her under the influence of the impending blood fever. You will regret this union before long," said T'Pau as her hand dropped from his face. She then looked over at Sarek. "Where are your servants?"

"I have none, T'Pau, but my two guards," he answered. "I have someone come in two days a week for the things that are needed. Otherwise, we serve ourselves."

She said imperiously, "It will not do for a man of a High House to employ transitory outside help or for him to suffer his wife from a High House to take care of domestic mundane things. You will employ a staff, Sarek."

"Yes, elder," he answered.

"I am certain your highborn wife will see to this," she said as she signaled to her bearers. They lifted her up and paused as she said her last words. "Keep this within your minds. When Sokam begins his Time in earnest he must have someone to sanction the union. There is still time, Sokam, to dissolve your ill-made current union. You will come to me at that time to do so," she said as if it were a certainty. And then the bearers and her guards left the gate and it closed behind her.

"How dare she!" Amanda finally exploded angrily. She turned and nearly stomped into their abode followed by Sarek, Maya and Sokam. "And how could you just stand there and take that, Maya? Those things she said about you!"

Her friend shrugged as one tear coursed down her face. The pride was gone from her demeanor and she seemed to have deflated. "Amanda, where I come from when an old person talks you shut up. No matter how insulting what they have to say may be. That's actually not the worst thing someone's said about me to my face. I only hurt because I don't want to hurt Sokam by staying with him."

"She's not going to sanction their marriage, Sarek, what the hell does that mean?" asked Amanda as she turned to her husband.

Sarek swallowed. "If an elder does not sanction their union, Maya will never be seen as Sokam's legitimate wife. Any children they have will be considered illegitimate and outcast in Vulcan society."

"So that's all it takes, an elder to sanction their union? That's it?" asked Amanda.

Sokam was standing with Maya and stretched out his fingers to her. But she wouldn't take them, she only said, "Sokam…maybe you should listen to what she said. Our union won't be legal soon. Maybe you should-" Her words gave out and she just stood there, refusing to meet his gaze, in obvious turmoil. "I don't want your being connected with me to hurt you in any way. How are you going to be a student at the VSA with an illegitimate union? Your entire life's ambitions will be gone. I can't let you do that for me."

Sokam looked over at Sarek and Amanda. "I will take my wife home now," he said to them. "And she will remain my wife come what may." He put his arm around her waist and led a very depressed looking Maya away. Sarek didn't miss the intimate touch and that told him more than anything else that Sokam would be gone from the realm of not only logic, but sanity, within the next seven days. Time was running out even quicker than any of them supposed.

####

After T'Pau's words even Sarek could not avoid the growing discomfort from what she'd said. He and his wife shared the same bed that night, but neither were in any mood to celebrate the acceptance of their bond while Sokam and Maya's future was in serious doubt.

As soon as he awakened the next morning, he placed himself into meditation. Afterward, he rose to find a message from the hospital. Demek had awakened and he was asking to speak with him.

Sarek and Amanda arrived at the Vulcan Academy Hospital. They were led to Demek's room by Agent Zymak. Apparently he had relieved Agent Toven at some point and took up the post. The couple entered the private room, but Zymak remained outside.

"You are looking much recovered, Demek," said Sarek to the elder man.

And it was true. The older man's coloring had returned to its natural hue. He was already sitting up and working on something with a PADD and stylus.

But Amanda ran straight up to him. "I'm so glad you're okay!" she said as she took his hands, totally disregarding etiquette as she smiled at him.

"Lady Amanda, it is quite gratifying to see you again," he said as his eyes rested on her briefly. Then he turned and there was only the slightest change in his demeanor, "You have arrived, Sarek," he said as he put the PADD away.

"Live long and prosper," said Sarek.

"I know you two have a lot to talk about. See you later," said Amanda as she patted Demek's hand one last time and then exited the room quickly.

Demek beckoned Sarek to him. "Sit before me. I have much to convey. I do not yet consider myself as safe."

Sarek pulled a chair close to his bed and sat as close to the older man as he could since he suspected where this conversation was about to go. "It is a point of interest to the ladies of my House to know how it is 'their Demek', as they refer to you, wound up with a semi-lethal wound to the chest. I, too, am intensely curious to know how it is you found yourself in such a predicament."

Demek paused and only one who knew him as well as Sarek would realize how pleased he was that the women of Sarek's House had decided he was collectively 'theirs'. But then his attention shifted. "I would show you all that occurred, Sarek, with your permission."

"You have my permission."

Demek raised one hand, placed it on Sarek's psi-points, "My mind to your mind; my thoughts to your thoughts." Information began to flow from the elder man into the younger.

_He was onto a line of reasoning he could no longer suppress. It was highly illogical, but he suspected it nonetheless. He was in contact with them on a regular basis, sometimes daily: Members of the Joint Council…some of them appeared to have things they wished to hide. Questions he asked that were very logical they failed to answer them in connection with his investigation into energy consumption that had skyrocketed from one energy grid._

_ The Vulcan Science Academy was charged with making certain they only used surplus energy stores for their district so their experiments could be done quickly without it taxing the responsible grid. But here, there was a discovery that made no sense. Why was the Academy's allotment of energy being…siphoned? And the siphoned energy was approved by the council themselves. How long had this been going on? Demek found it was unavoidable to pursue these answers._

_The energy usage from that grid had been slowly increasing over time, but not enough to attract any attention. It began very slowly approximately four years before. The change would have remained unnoticed but then it suddenly increased quite noticeably months before and continued to etch ever higher. How was that possible? How had this gone previously unchecked?_

_ They would not answer his requests for information and that was what made him begin his investigation. Most of the members of the council claimed they did not know, so therefore they could not answer him; but a few simply never answered at all. The ones who claimed to know nothing, he believed them. Why should they lie? The ones who said nothing, since they had failed to answer it was a logical conclusion for him that they knew, yet they would not tell so as not to put themselves into the position of speaking a lie._

_He called the V'Shar to investigate. They seemed to be equally close-mouthed. They were charged with upholding the will of the council. That was only logical. Without order there would be chaos; therefore they would not investigate._

_Agent Sumar, like everyone else, was unaware of what the excess energy consumption meant. But Sumar had a vested interest in several experiments being held at the Academy which were now temporarily on hold until an alternative source of energy could be obtained. Despite this, even he would not investigate without enough evidence. Once enough information was attained, Sumar assured Demek that the agents directly under him, Zymak, Stilen and Toven, as well as himself, would look into the matter further._

_ After that, Demek knew he would have to pursue the knowledge in a solitary capacity. Were it not for one other troubling factor, he might have left things as they were. The timing of the slowly increasing energy consumption, the fact that it stretched back by four years, nearly two months after the attack by the Rihans on their world... it made the siphoning of the energy ever more suspicious to him._

_ Going into meditation one evening, Demek remembered that four council members had presented non-teenage Vulcan brides to their sons in the past two years. How was that possible? All available females over the age of twenty were effectively unavailable. In a society where minding the concerns of others was distasteful everyone assumed these females were bonded previously to these young men._

_ Demek searched some more. Being the head of the Vulcan Science Academy had its privileges, one of which was access to all student records. Three of the four young men were students of the prestigious academy. And no, there had been no previous bonds with these young ladies. They had simply…reappeared, still single? That was not likely, he knew._

_ His curiosity kept him up most nights after these new discoveries. Never dangle a mystery before a Vulcan! The timing of when the energy consumption steadily began to rise and the fact that the beginning of it almost coincided within a few weeks of the timing of the attack on their skies continued to beckon him to search, investigate further._

_ Demek dug into the records. The energy consumption led to a location that he had not yet decided to visit. He wished first to determine why the energy usage was steadily going up over time for the area. He discovered in his search that previously several other energy grids had served that particular area as well as the one used by the Academy. But for some unknown reason, the energy usage suddenly localized solely to the grid that served the Science Academy. Why?_

_ He discovered that of the previous energy station, one had shut down due to decay and inefficiency, and the other could no longer produce enough to keep up with the area of the planet it served as well as the area that seemed to be sucking down an inordinate amount of energy all at once._

_ The death of one of the council members three months before, it seemed to coincide with the spike in energy of the grid that belonged to the Science Academy. He surmised that the deceased council member was one of the members that knew of the energy siphoning. Demek engaged in deductive reasoning and concluded that the deceased, seemingly, was supposed to have found an alternative source of energy but had died before doing so. The member's death was, in fact, caused by an accident. Even his katra had been unable to be recovered since his body had been lost in a fiery conflagration, along with thousands of others, during one of the inspections of a mining camp on an asteroid not far from T'Kuht._

_ Demek did not know what to expect at the energy eating location, but knew he could not go in the light of day. And he knew going there would most likely lead to his death. He took all of the information he had, downloaded it onto a PADD and locked it up. He went to Ambassador Sarek's, met the ladies of his House, and returned home, satisfied with what he suspected was one of his last days alive. He took the data PADD and delivered it to a courier service, set the date of when he wished it delivered and to whom. Then he returned to his home and planned his visit to the location eating the Academy's energy._

_ The next day, he made a pre-recorded message to Sarek about the information being sent to him along with the names of the V'Shar agents that should take up the investigation in his stead._

_ He went that night, found the location, was able to sneak up close to it and found it was in the deepest part of the desert, very isolated. There was a mountain chain there, untouched. He snuck closer. There were no sentries, no others in the area, but he suspected his presence, anyone's presence, would be unwelcomed._

_ He made his way into one of the caves. His sense of hearing was drawing him to a continual hum. The frequency of the hum was that of a…force field?_

_ He continued to follow the sound and came closer to the area it was in. He was as quiet as he could have been. He came to an area deep within the mountain, and it suddenly opened up on a clearing._

_ Looking down in the semidarkness, he could see the outline of a large force field covering the area. The size alone probably accounted for roughly half of the energy being siphoned. And then he got as close as he could to the edge of the ledge and his eyesight only just made out…bodies behind the force field?_

_ He captured an image on a tri-corder, then turned the viewer around to see for himself, magnified the image three times. And for the first time in his life he almost had the inner sensation of wishing to gasp. Bodies, indeed. Female bodies. Vulcan females. From the look of the displays they were in cryogenic stasis. There were over five thousand of them! The implications were disturbing._

_ Demek made his way out as fast as he could. As he reached the entrance of the cave, he found himself confronted by a lone guard. The male was younger, more able. The younger male raised a weapon, stabbed him in the center of his chest. Demek's unexpected telepathic attack stunned the younger male, made him grab his head in pain as he doubled over and hit the floor. That attack was only known to learners of the Higher Order of Mental Arts. When the younger man pulled away in pain he'd taken the blade with him._

_ Demek ran, the adrenaline in his body forcing the blood not to pour from the wound. He got to his shuttle, lifted off and went to Sarek's. He wished to hand over his katra with the information to the Ambassador. But he arrived there in time for his adrenaline to slow and then the blood began to flow freely. He sent out his psionic distress call in case he was unable to make it all the way to Sarek's door._

_ His last memory was stumbling into the compound and being surrounded by Sarek's house of Terran females looking down at him as if they were of the Valkyries he'd read of many years before from their Norse mythology._

Sarek's hands fell from Demek's face and he could feel the sharp ache in his own chest as if he had been the one wounded. It took him a few seconds to assimilate all of the information and recover from the meld. "Fascinating," he found himself murmuring. "And I agree. The implications of this is…disturbing. The council…" He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"They know. At least some of them do," said Demek.

"But which ones?" Something inside him sank. Where had T'Pau gotten a Vulcan female to present to him, the one he had turned down who was now available, seemingly, for Sokam? Where had T'Pau gotten her?

_AN - This chapter was DETAIL HEAVY and I am EXHAUSTED from editing it over and over and over and over...I'm seeing double. Review please. If it sucked, I need to know now so I can retract it and write it again. I don't want any piece of this tale to be hit and miss!  
_


	32. In The Meantime

In the Meantime

Mariana left the compound with Shin that evening. Since she was going on a date with an unknown Terrran Sarek insisted ahead of time that she be escorted to the location by Shin.

She felt pretty good. She would be starting her new job that weekend and getting a new apartment. And she was actually on her way to a real date for the first time in over a year! The only other man she'd ever been interested in—she decided to stop lying to herself. The only other man she had ever been in love with, they'd never even kissed one another. She hadn't seen or heard from him in such a long time she wondered why she'd thought of him tonight of all nights. Sometimes she still missed him and wondered where he was, what he was doing. But she was on her way to a date now and her countenance brightened. She was ready to have fun on a date for the first time in a long time.

Mariana wore a hunter green dress that showed off a tiny bit of cleavage and a whole lot of legs. She wasn't used to high heels, but Maya always insisted they were a 'plus' on any kind of date.

She left Shin in the parking lot with the shuttle. "If you need anything, just message me," he said for the third time as she walked away.

"Okay," she said over her shoulder. It felt strange to have someone waiting around for her date to be over.

She turned the corner and walked into the restaurant. It was a nice enough place. It wasn't a five-star establishment but it was close enough. Carpeting on the floors, dim lighting and large potted plants placed in strategic positions for the added privacy of particular dining guests greeted her eyes. Soft music that produced a relaxing ambiance set her at ease. A grandfatherly Terran maître d' in a tuxedo was at a podium at the front of the restaurant. As soon as he noticed her, he asked with a smile, "How may I help you this evening, madam?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting someone here."

"Name, madam?"

Mariana frowned. "Mine or his?"

The maître d' smiled even wider. "Yours, madam."

"Mariana."

"Ah, yes, you're expected. Come this way, please."

The tuxedoed employee took her into the restaurant to a side table that seemed to be wreathed in shadow by one of the strategically placed large plants. "Oh," she found herself exclaiming under her breath. There were small lit candles on the table and her date was sitting there looking even better than he had when he'd asked her out. She was impressed.

"Thank you," he said to the already departing maître d'. Her date turned to look at her with an open smile of appreciation. "How are you this evening, Mariana?"

"I'm fine," she said as she sat down opposite him. "And how are you, Jonas?"

He smiled. "I'm out with you now and I couldn't be better."

She found herself giggling at that. "How was your day?"

"_That_ could have gone better. And your day?"

She shrugged. "Pretty good." She couldn't help but stare at him. He was the dark haired type with the ebony eyebrows and sparkling brown eyes she always found so attractive. And was that his cologne she smelled? It made him even more attractive.

"So what's a very Terran girl like you doing on this planet?" he asked.

She forced herself not to freeze. She had almost forgotten the circumstances she had landed herself there. She shrugged and plowed on. "I'm here for a job offer."

"Bussing tables?" he smiled as he remembered how he'd met her.

She also smiled. "That's a temporary job. The real one starts this weekend at the xenobiology clinic over the VAH."

He looked impressed. "The Vulcan Academy Hospital? Wow. What connections do _you_ have?"

She shrugged. "None. Just happened to be in the right place at a horrible time and kept a friend from dying."

He seemed confused by her answer but didn't pursue it. "So why Vulcan, of all places?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"It's hot and these people are boring!" he said in a low tone and as charmingly as he could. "I mean, admit it. Just the sound of their voices puts me to sleep."

"Jonas!" she exclaimed with a half grin. "There's no need to be rude."

"Speaking the truth is not rudeness," he declared. "And besides, how do you even get to know anyone when their face doesn't tell you anything when you talk to them? They just stand there, blank-faced, no feelings, no emotions…nothing. That gives me the creeps."

"Well then what are _you_ doing here?" she asked, turning his question back at him.

He smiled. "I asked you first."

"I'm sorry, Jonas, but _I_ don't happen to have a problem with Vulcans or the way that they are. In fact, I have quite a few Vulcan friends."

He laughed. "Yeah, sure. Like these people are even capable of having friends!"

She flinched. "I came here to work the clinic and get a taste of life from another perspective. So then why are _you_ here if you don't like them so much?"

"I'm here on business," he said as he leaned on the table, his smile widening.

"What kind of business?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter," he waved off her question. "I'm here to have a good time with you tonight. Not talk about business. Besides, you probably wouldn't understand it anyway."

And that was the last straw for Mariana. She decided, on the spot, she didn't care how good looking Jonas was or how nice he smelled. She didn't like him. "So," she said, hoping to have her mind changed by something, anything. "Tell me about yourself."

So he did. Five minutes into his boring narrative about how many exotic places he'd been on Terra Prime and off, and how fortunate she would be to travel with him instead of remaining on the boring planet she had chosen to live on, the waiter came and collected their menus and orders. Jonas continued talking about himself as Mariana wished she were somewhere else. She tried to engage him by asking questions, but he usually didn't even let her finish her question when he was off answering it and then off onto some other thing. And he accused Vulcans of being boring? Apparently this man had never had to listen to himself on playback.

"Would you excuse me?" asked Mariana as she stood with a little smile. "I'll be right back."

"Certainly," he answered with his own smile.

She found her way into a bathroom and locked herself in the stall and sighed tiredly. Was she going to have to sit through that all night? Oh no, no way. She pulled out her PADD and messaged Shin: **Get me OUT OF HERE!**

**What's wrong? Date going bad?**

**It's turning into the 'date from boredom hell'. And to make things worse, he's a bigot. Get me OUT OF HERE!**

**All right, Mari, give me five minutes and I'll come in and say an emergency's come up at home and you're needed right away.**

** Thanks, Shin.**

Mariana forced herself to go back out to the table. Jonas' smile brightened again. "You're back. They've brought our drinks."

She looked down and saw, yes, their drinks were there. _Thank goodness for alcohol since I have to sit through five more minutes of Jonas_ she thought as he launched back into his tale of all of the places he had been and she should try out sometime soon, preferably with him. He also then began to describe how he'd swindled some clueless natives out of their life savings at two of the planets he'd done business. But what did it matter? It wasn't exactly a crime since they weren't Terrans, right?

Her head began to ache. She was already thinking of having another drink and she hadn't even finished the one she was on. She tried not to look too happy when she saw Shin enter the restaurant and begin speaking to the maître d'.

####

Dana was at home packing up her clothing for the coming weekend. She didn't know why she was even bothering since she didn't have all that many possessions and it was literally going to take her about three hours to complete the task. She sat down in a huff. She was worse than bored. Mariana had just left on her date and she didn't know how long she would be gone. Her mind inevitably turned to Cassie. She smiled a little and then frowned as she decided maybe she should try a little harder not to think about her deceased cousin.

There was a knock on her door and she walked over and opened it. There stood Zurel with Turan behind him. "Dana Philo, you have a guest."

She smiled at Zurel and how he sometimes called her by both her names at the same time. She wondered if he knew how absolutely hilarious she found that. Her eyes turned to Turan and she found herself also smiling at him but in a different way.

"If all is well, I shall leave you," said Zurel as he stepped away.

"Thanks, Zurel!" she called after him. She turned her attention to Turan and beckoned him inside. "Come in. I didn't expect to see you today."

"If you do not wish to see me at this time, I shall depart," he said just as he was done walking into the house.

She laughed. "No, Turan. Saying you didn't expect to see someone is not the same as saying you don't want to see someone." She noticed then he was carrying something small, a box of some sort, in his arms.

"Does that mean you wish to see me?"

She closed the door behind him as she tried not to look down at whatever he was carrying. "Yes, I do want to see you now."

He nodded with finality. "That pleases me. I have brought you a gift."

She looked at what he was carrying. "Why did you-"

"I received your message, that you would soon be occupying a new residence. I wished to purchase something for you that was needed." He walked further into the house and placed the small package onto her kitchen counter.

She walked over to him and smiled. "You really bought me a gift?"

"That is what I have stated."

And she couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. "Oh my goodness!" She looked up at him and found herself throwing her arms around him.

His eyes widened in alarm. "Dana-"

"No one else is here," she told him. She felt him relax instantly.

"Where is Mariana?" he asked.

"On some date. I wish Zurel would just open his mouth and tell her something already."

"Why would Zurel do such a thing?"

She laughed. "Shin and I think he's kind of got it bad for her but for some reason he won't tell her."

His opinion of what he had previously seen as his rival shifted. "I see." He realized Dana's arms were still around him and he found himself relaxing even more. It was addictive, this mode of touch with her. His hands were still down at his sides and he wondered what would happen if he put them around her in the same manner as she had hers around him. He tried it out for a few seconds, pulled her in toward himself. He then quickly put his arms down and stepped away from her. "Dana, we cannot touch this way."

"Why not?" she asked. She'd liked the way it felt, having his arms around her, even if it was for a few seconds.

"Open your gift first and then we will speak of it."

She held in her laughter. "Control freak," she murmured with a grin and then attacked the plain brown wrapping covering the gift. As she tore away at the wrapping around the box, she saw she was staring at…a small box of drinking cups. She realized then that Turan had inadvertently brought her a housewarming gift and found herself giggling.

"Does this reaction mean you find it sufficient?" he asked.

She smiled over at him and said what she thought he would find the highest compliment of all. "It's a very logical gift."

He found his insides singing with more than satisfaction. Dana saw the effect her words had in his eyes as they warmed over while looking down at her. She reached out for his hand then and he took it, allowed her to lead him to her couch. Wanting to respect whatever issue he had, she let his hand go immediately then. "Let's talk about this touching thing," she said. They both sat and Turan simply watched her, his eyes caressing every part of her that he could see. "Is it like that for you?" she asked. "Is looking at me a way that you…touch?" she asked.

"No," he said with honesty. "Though I find the act of watching you quite stimulating in its' own way."

She liked the way he'd put that and found herself blushing and running her hands through her hair as she exhaled. She'd always had a thing for intellectuals. Did this guy know how often she was a few seconds away from tackling him? She forced her attention back to the issue and found she had to ask, "So you don't have to touch me. Just being around is enough?"

He leaned forward slightly, just inside her personal space. "No, Dana, I do not find it sufficient to simply watch you."

"So then why don't you touch me?" she asked.

He sat back away from her since he found himself wanting to touch her even more. "I cannot be expected to keep our status unofficial while indulging in liberties that say we are official."

"In other words, you would have a hard time not thinking of me as yours if you touched me all of the time?"

There was a spark of certainty in his eyes. "Make no mistake, Dana, you are mine."

She found herself smiling at his certainty as something inside her warmed up even more. She wanted to protest, but she had to admit, who could hold a candle to him? He was intelligent, good looking and even though she'd told him repeatedly their future was not fixed he was already buying her gifts. A very logical gift, but still, it was a gift. She wished she had those books on Vulcan psychology so she could understand what was going on in Turan's mind. "So you consider me yours, but you won't touch me because then you would really consider me yours?" she asked, trying to bait him.

He thought about her words for a few seconds. "Yes," he answered truthfully.

She was even more confused as she sat back from him and simply watched his face. There was nothing there to betray his thoughts. "This is going to be hard," she declared. She didn't even know what to ask next.

"What do Terrans ordinarily do under these circumstances?" he asked. "How is it your people find themselves bonded…married?"

She shrugged. "It depends on the Terrans. Our cultures are diverse and everyone has different practices and standards."

He found himself interested. "Tell me of some of these cultural practices and standards."

She sighed and thought hard. "Well in some places on Terra Prime the marriages are still arranged. You never see the person until the day you _get_ married. While in other places, a guy sees a girl he likes and he goes to her family and tells them he wants to marry her and that's pretty much it. Sometimes they ask the girl if she wants him first and what she says really matters, but sometimes it doesn't matter what she thinks at all, they get married anyway."

She thought about it some more. "Then there are other places where two people meet, they see each other for awhile, date or court, whatever you call it, and after a time, weeks, months or years, they mutually decide to get married; usually the guy asks the girl though sometimes the girl asks the guy. And then there are other places where the two date for years and years. Sometimes they even move in together for awhile to see if it will work out and then they either get married, never get married or break up completely."

He was amazed. "And that last scenario, it is considered acceptable?"

"In those cultures, yes. I come from a culture like that where you can cohabit without being married."

"What do you think of that arrangement?"

She sighed. "I personally don't care for it for myself, but I've got friends who are doing it at this very moment and they're fine with it."

"But you, personally, do not find that agreeable?"

"No," she admitted.

"May I ask why?"

She admitted, "I guess I've never really thought about 'why'. It just doesn't sit well with me, personally. What someone else does is their own business, but I'm not into that for me, that's all."

He nodded once. "So we will not engage in the custom of living together before we are bonded," he stated aloud. "That is also not acceptable among my people. And for me, it is virtually impossible."

She laughed. "Turan, who said we're getting married?"

He looked at her, his expression bordering on confusion. "Is not the purpose of dating or courting to determine when you will marry the person? It was the end outcome of most of the cultural scenarios you presented of your own people, was it not?"

She laughed even harder. "No! It's to see if you're _compatible_. It doesn't always _automatically_ end in marriage. Well only if you're arranged, and I'm not from a culture that arranges. Well except for the very rich, but most of us aren't so that doesn't apply to me."

"I understand. It must be difficult if you are not both telepaths."

She never thought of it that way and nodded. "You've got a great point there. And what did you mean by living together without being bonded, for you, is virtually impossible? Not that I'm remotely even interested in doing that, but what does that mean?"

He then volunteered, "It is the reason why touching is such a difficult thing."

"Because you're a telepath?" she asked.

"Yes."

She felt awful. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know that-"

"No, no, Dana, I do not ever wish for you to apologize for something you do not fully understand. You have done nothing to intentionally compromise my stability."

"Is that what it does when we touch? It compromises your stability?" She was horrified.

"Yes. If we lived in the same home, afterward I could regulate myself back to a state of normalcy. It would be easier to do so then. But since we do not live in the same home, I must then return to my home in a state of instability to meditate. There is a possibility then for my state to be observed by another and thereby bring about my shame. And there are…other factors, as well."

She felt even worse then. "That day at the hospital-!"

He grabbed her hands into his own. "Dana, that was necessary. Any potential shame was warranted for me to comfort she who I wish to make my permanent mate."

She sighed. Was it unintentional, then, that she found herself getting in deeper with him? With everything he said she found herself more drawn to him, who he was, the way he spoke. It went past looks for her, then. She found she just wanted…him.

He swallowed. His hands were holding hers and he was getting an echo off of her emotions. He found himself putting his forehead to hers and inhaling her essence. "It is difficult, I admit, to not touch you in some way. And the more we touch, the more I instinctually wish to bond with you. That is why you and I could not cohabit without bonding first. Eventually I would find myself touching your mind and locking it to mine, perhaps even against your will. I cannot allow that to happen. I will not bond to you against your will. That is why we must be careful of how often we touch."

She realized that she was sensing him on a level she hadn't been able to previously. Was this his telepathy washing over her? It felt wonderful and addictive. She abruptly let him go and stood, walked away from him.

"Dana?"

"That felt too good." She found herself pacing back and forth. She found herself thinking _No wonder Maya gave into Sokam so quickly! How the hell do you fight that?_ She knew the strongest woman from Terra Prime wouldn't stand a chance if she felt that flowing over her in waves. This touching thing, she could cave within days of unlimited telepathic contact with Turan. "Okay. I understand now why you have to be careful; why _we_ have to be careful."

"Because we are compatible," was his only answer.

She laughed nervously. "We definitely have chemistry." She stopped pacing and looked down at him. "This is how it is. We date for awhile so _I_ can be sure. I can't go on telepathy alone because I'm not a telepath."

"Agreed," he said.

"That's really all for now. I'll try and keep touching you to a minimum since I now understand what it is it does to you."

"Thank you for your understanding, Dana."

"Even though the thought of not touching you at all really bothers me," she admitted. "Terrans do it like it's nothing, all of the time. We touch. Even Terrans who aren't into the touching thing touch way more than Vulcans do."

He stood instantly and looked down into her eyes, concerned. "Truly, it distresses you?"

Even having him right there in front of her was too much. "Yes," she said as she resisted the urge to grab his face and plant her lips on his. She backed away from him again. There was something magnetic about him.

He reached for her then, took her hands into his own. "We must come to a compromise. I do not wish for you to be in distress from a lack of touch."

She instantly felt better when his hands touched hers. He removed his right hand from hers and then lifted his two fingers and offered them to her. She'd seen Sarek and Amanda, Maya and Sokam doing this. She put her fingers to his and felt a concentrated hum of emotions from him. This was what those couples were doing in public? It felt so…intimate. "Yes, it is," he said as his eyes turned hot while looking deeply into hers.

Her fingers were still on his as she said, "You need to stop looking at me like that or I can't be held accountable for what I do next."

This was dangerous territory, he knew it. But he didn't back down. "I will not," he said as he continued looking at her with longing in his eyes.

She stepped in closer to him and just let the feelings wash over them both. Even her breathing changed and she was seconds away from acting without thinking. "What am I doing?" she whispered. She dropped her hand from his and backed away with realization. "I know exactly what you're doing, mister!"

"What is that?" he asked, face innocent.

"Your strategy is to suck me in as fast as possible!" He didn't deny that, simply watched as she connected the dots. "You know I don't want to live together before getting married but you also know I want to date for awhile and you also know I'm going to try and keep the touching to a minimum for both our sakes but you're trying to use touch to get me to marry you sooner rather than later!" she said without stopping for breath.

He was impressed by how quickly she'd caught on. "I am not ashamed of my tactics," he admitted. "I will do what it takes to make you mine permanently as soon as possible via your own free will."

Dana was halfway flattered and halfway horrified. "Tu_raaan_!" she said, obviously exasperated.

He walked to her and held up his two fingers. "I will not attempt it again since it alarms you."

She found herself putting her fingers into his without thinking. That time, the emotions from him were still there but under control, subdued. But she knew he could make them both go up in flames anytime he wanted. "Promise me we'll wait, that I'll be able to think straight about all of this so I can make my own decisions."

He knew if he promised he would have to hold himself to it. But wasn't she worth that? After hesitating for a few seconds, "I promise," he finally said.

It was then she suspected she'd gotten herself tied up with some kind of scoundrel.


	33. Same Night

_I'm sick as a dog and in a lot of pain. I made it through this because it was an edit job and not a fresh write. The meds are kicking in and I have to go back to bed now, LOL. - J.S._

Same Night

Sarek and Amanda returned home and settled into the Common Room as she pulled out her PADD and stylus. Her husband had not said one word since they'd left the hospital. Whatever Demek told him had disquieted him on a deep level. She reached out to him mentally, wanting to make sure he was all right before she began working. He had never, in all the time she'd known him, had that look on his face. "Sarek? What's the matter?"

Anyone else who knew him wouldn't have been able to detect that he was deeply affected, but his Amanda could. "There is something I must tell you. It is the reason Demek came to us that night, wounded."

####

Amanda sat there, open shock on her face. She couldn't hide it the way Sarek could. "He saw…you saw through the meld…what? Women? In cryo-sleep? You mean the old way they used to put people under for generation voyages in space or to keep them from dying from ailments?"

He did not nod in confirmation since his wife obviously knew of what he spoke. She simply had trouble accepting it. If he had not seen it himself in Demek's mind, he would also not have been able to believe it.

She stood as she folded her arms and began to pace, obviously troubled. "How many members of the council are involved in this? And Sarek, I don't understand. Why? What logical purpose does- _could_ this serve?"

He visibly frowned. "I am uncertain at this time. I have come up with several theories and have discarded them all. The shortage of females is the one factor that remains in my mind and yet I still do not understand what logical purpose there could be."

"Wouldn't they want to give them to mates and not keep them hoarded?" she asked. "Who the hell hoards _people _anyway?"

"Members of a council more concerned about the racial purity of their lines than anything else. I continually asked myself, where did T'Pau find a female to present to me as a bride? I now know. Which means she is most likely involved in this."

Amanda looked at her husband and her heart sank. From the one encounter she'd had with the elder she didn't like T'Pau, not in the least, but the last thing she wanted her husband to feel was disillusionment over such an important relative's actions. "You don't have any proof of that yet, Sarek," she said as she tried to comfort him. She walked up behind him, put her arms around him until her hands rested against his taut stomach muscles, the side of her face pressed into his wide back. "Until you have proof, don't even entertain these thoughts."

He looked down at her hands and rubbed them with his own as he acknowledged, "That would be the logical thing to do, would it not?" He knew she was only trying to keep him from 'feeling hurt' that one of the people he had always held in high esteem could be so duplicitous. But there, his wife was mistaken. There was no hurt within him. He was simply outmaneuvered. What else did T'Pau have in her arsenal of plans that he did not even suspect? And how could he prepare to protect himself ad his wife against such plans? "I immediately began to think of bringing up charges against whoever this is that has done this because of all of the deaths that have occurred to men who have been unable to obtain mates in time. The thousands that have been lost, some of those deaths could have been prevented."

"Sarek! Are you asking to get killed?" she said quickly as she went around to the front of him and looked up into his face, hands on her hips.

"I am aware of that, Amanda," he responded as he looked down into her concerned eyes. "I have already said to myself, look what they have done to Demek. No. The V'Shar are investigating this case now. If anyone is going to bring up charges or pursue this, they will, and if they do not, it is because they're in the employ of those council members."

He also admitted, "I do not understand what has occurred or why. I do not understand what can be said against such reckless illogic, such disregard for life. I only wish to serve my people, prevent the deaths of more males and the misuse of the Terran females in captivity. The Vulcan females in cryogenic stasis could serve the gap of still unbonded males for the next few months. I also cannot help but speculate that there may be even more caches of females in cryogenic stasis."

Amanda hadn't even considered that. "Really?"

"If we have found one such place, what is to say there is not another?"

She agreed with a nod, "And how many council members are in on this? It's obvious not all of them since they're still using the Terran females."

"Yes, that is apparent. Who is involved and who is not? That is the question that must be answered. And where were these women obtained? Are they there against their will? Were these females sick with the plague and taken into custody by them, reported dead, but are still quite alive? Were their bonds, for those who were bonded, stripped in such a way that their mates think they are dead? Or perhaps they were all not yet bonded for whatever reason and that made them even that much easier to target? The more questions I ask, the more questions there seem to be that need to be asked."

She found herself laughing bitterly. "Wouldn't it be a doozey if you asked point-blank in your speech 'Would those of you illogical enough to hoard Vulcan females in cold sleep please stand up?'" He turned and looked down at his wife, eyes dark and deep, thinking. She began to feel slightly nervous once thirty seconds passed. "Was it something I said?"

As if a piece of a thought had just solidified in his mind, he looked at her with a warm sparkle in his eyes. "Amanda, you are most logical when you do not try." He nodded. "Yes, that is what I shall do. Not directly, of course, but there is a way it can be added to my statement. I will know from the reactions who is apart of this scheme."

She was feeling nervous all over again. "Are you sure about that?"

He looked down at her as his hands reached out, pulled her to him and rubbed at her arms reassuringly. "No. I have been unsure through this entire journey. But you and I have a common goal. I do not wish anymore of my people to die. And you do not wish anymore of your people to be misused. And so we must do this."

She sighed. He was right, of course. But she couldn't help but feel sick to her stomach about the many different ways this could go very wrong.

####

Mariana had gotten home horribly disgusted with what had happened on her date. "The less said about that loser, the better," was the only thing she'd said to Dana as she went to shower.

After Mariana had gone to bed, Dana was still up. She was ready to turn in for the night when her subspace connection beeped. She went and answered it and saw her Uncle on the line. Cassie's father. His eyes were red as if he'd been crying for days. She swallowed. "Uncle Ernest. What are you doing calling me?" She was just as dishonored as Cassie and he was the last person she expected to see staring back at her like this.

"How did my Cassie die?" he asked, tears slipping unashamedly down his face.

The man had made it more than clear he never wanted to speak to her or Cassie ever again. She hadn't cared at the time. He was, after all, her uncle via marriage and he had always looked down on her and the house she came from. Her blood aunt -his wife- turning her back on her had hurt more. "She ran out into the desert in the dark and got attacked by an animal," she said as delicately as she could. "Didn't they put all of this in the report?"

"What kind of animal was it?" he asked, undisguised anger on his face.

"It was an animal indigenous to Vulcan, a _le-matya_."

"Why weren't you watching her?" he asked as fresh tears spilled down his face.

She was instantly hurt. She had been through enough self-blame about Cassie and now her supposed-uncle was putting this on her? "Me?" she asked, trying not to become angry, but still getting angry. "ME? She's was a grown woman, an adult who made her own decisions."

"You know she needed to be watched constantly, that she needed help to make the right decisions!" he shouted.

"Who the hell do you think it is that made her the way that she was, thinking she could do and say whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, just for the hell of it?"

"So now this is _my_ fault?" he asked on a sob.

"Well you're blaming ME for something another _adult_ decided she wanted to do! I still don't understand why she did what she did, what she was even thinking at the time!" Dana was so close to tears, she could barely get out, "You spoiled her. You spoiled her rotten. You let her do whatever she wanted and you made her into the kind of person that didn't listen to anything anyone ever told her. How in the hell was _I_ supposed to keep your daughter safe when _you_ raised her to think she was too good to listen to what anyone else had to say to her?"

"It's your fault she was on that planet in the first place! I blame you for this!" he shouted across the subspace connection.

The wind was knocked out of Dana as she sat down on the floor, hard. "Oh wow."

"So you listen to me, you _nothing_ from a _nothing_ house. You're going to give over those books for my daughter. I want her name cleared posthumously so I can bury her with honor, do you understand? I want her cleared!" he said, tears streaming down his face even more.

Dana swallowed back the tears threatening to erupt. "If I told you the truth, the full truth, about your darling daughter, what would you do?" she asked, venom filling her.

His hand hit the desk he was sitting at. "I don't give a _shit_ about any of that right now! I want to bury my daughter in the family plot with honor and you're going to fix it so that can happen. Or else I will go to the media. I will go to the media and I will tell them that she was murdered on Vulcan and that ambassador that's taken you in had something to do with it. Do you understand? I don't know who he is, but I'm from a High House and I will make allegations and even if it isn't true, he will always be haunted by the scandal! And until my daughter rests in the family plot with full honors, his house will not rest, do you understand me!"

Dana didn't want Sarek hurt by a scandal. But there was one thing she needed to make clear as unshed tears sparkled in her eyes. "You listen to me," she said, voice low. "_IF_ I decide to do what you've said, it won't be for you. It won't even be for Cassie who made her _adult_ decisions and in her own way ruined and then lost her own life…it would be for _my_ aunt and that's IT. Do you understand me?"

"Whatever, get it DONE," he said coldly, his tears almost stopped.

"For my aunt's sake, I will _consider_ it," she said just as coldly as she cut the connection on him. She didn't want her uncle to know that if she did it, she would do it for Sarek as well as her aunt. There was no way she could let on that the ambassador was a weak spot for her. A man like her uncle would continually exploit that weakness for his own gain once his grief lessened a bit more. And that she could not allow.


	34. The Orator

_Warning, this chapter is heavy on philosophy, short and probably darned boring. But this speech needed to happen NOW. Probably if you don't read it, the continuity of the story will not suffer. But for those of you interested in Sarek's speech to the council, here you go! - J.S._

The Orator

Sarek arrived early on the morning he was due to address the council. As he waited his turn he reflected on the fact that his presence there was unwelcome. Despite that, he hoped his train of thought on things with the prison situation was followed clearly enough. He also hoped his veiled words to those council members unwise enough to allow others to die while they stockpiled females from among their own was enough to flush them out into at least doing the right thing. He also hoped his words were not taken as so overtly threatening that he found himself in the undesirable situation of defending himself against being murdered. The last thing he wanted to do was leave his wife widowed and unprotected on his home world. She was a logical asset, if it was looked at from that point of view. Many members of the council would see fit to take her in as a wife for a son, grandson or nephew simply because she was also from a high house and the daughter of a general in their empire. She would become nothing more than a bargaining piece for them, unfortunately, not the cherished being she was to him now.

His tendency to dwell on Amanda at times when it was unwise to do so was growing. He would have to work with more diligence to stop that tendency. What he needed now was to focus on the words that needed to be said so that all sides of this dishonorable situation could be resolved.

A voice almost deadpan in its imperiousness announced him. "We escort in, now, Ambassador Sarek." The older man then turned to him and said, "You have a time limit of four minutes to address the Joint Council," before he turned and departed the council chamber.

Sarek mentally adjusted what he needed to say. He was previously unaware of the time limit and suspected this was T'Pau's doing. She did not wish him to be successful in his attempts. As to exactly why, he did not know. His clan mother's logic was obviously slanted toward malevolence of late. Or perhaps she had always been this way and there had been no occasion for him to take notice? But it did not matter. He knew what he needed to say could, in fact, be condensed. Perhaps the shorter time to speak the words would prove more powerful than the longer speech he'd had prepared.

As he entered, he could see the members of the Joint Council. The room itself was inside the remnants of an ancient dead volcano on neutral ground. The members were all seated upward from his position and around the room in a stadium circular 360-degree fashion. He was below them, of course. The V'Tosh Ka'tur held 180 degrees of one side of the room and the Syrranites held the other 180 degree space. This was, most likely, to ensure no one side could ever say they had more or less room than the other. The V'Tosh Ka'tur were notorious in calling favoritism in matters that it was not logical to even have a 'favorite'.

It was a closed session, but as he continued walking to place himself dead center of the council floor, he experienced an almost uncomfortable sensation. It was more than the feeling of being looked at by the many eyes surveying him as he walked into the large, cavernous chamber. It seemed as if he were being watched very closely by several of them, as if one wrong move, one wrong word…

He began by looking up at the V'Tosh Ka'tur side of the room:

"Council members, I am here today to address the situation at hand. I am well aware that the members of this council need not be told how to govern. That is not the reason I am here. It also goes without saying that our citizens' cares are looked after most logically by our government at all times. That is, also, not the reason I stand before you today."

He slowly turned as he spoke and made certain to lock eyes with each of the council members. "There are simply three points of view that have been…overlooked. The first point of view being, we are currently holding prisoners not of our people who are not citizens, females who have found themselves in the unenviable position of being considered 'dishonored' by the Empire. We must ask ourselves, what is considered honorable to the Empire? Deceit. Treachery. Subterfuge. In order to advance in the ranks you must dispatch with your superior. That is fact. We are all aware of this.

"The material question is: What is considered dishonorable to the Empire? Curiosity of the ways of others; questioning of unjust laws; a tendency toward pacifism first with a strong avoidance for war. Are not these things considered as dishonorable to the Empire our ways? In keeping these prisoners who are considered dishonorable by them in this way for the very things we find honorable, are we not condoning the point of view of the prevailing Empire and disowning our ways of thought?"

He paused for effect. Several of the members began to look at one another. "That brings me to my second point. If we would wish to condone the point of view of the Empire, rapid changes must be made to many of the ways we conduct ourselves. At this point in time logic is the focal-point of our belief system, of our lives. If logic is to reign, we must determine the correctness of the situation we have allowed to continue. But if we are ready to depart from logic, then we may keep these females in their current situation and continue our lives and then truly nothing would be wrong in our dealings with them.

"However, it must be asked, if we are to abandon logic and allow the situation to continue as is, why must we remain vegetarian? Should we not return to eating animal flesh and the wearing of animal skins? Why must consent be given between Healer and patient? Perhaps we will strike our children to discipline them like in the days of old? Take from those who have more simply because we wish it for ourselves or because we have need of it?"

He saw several of the V'Tosh Ka'tur squirming in their seats. He had not expected to reach any of them with his words, but they were having some effect on them. And if it was having an effect on them, it was most likely getting into the minds of even the Syrranites who simply sat and watched as they showed nothing.

"The state of dishonor we have all found ourselves in is one that is collective. Though I have not partaken in it directly, as a member of our people the dishonor inevitably also falls upon myself and everyone else tied to us, even those who have no knowledge of it. Will the council allow this situation, this dishonor, to prevail?

"My time has nearly run its course speaking with you, but I must ask a line of thought that must be considered and it is my third and final point. What will befall us if this situation were to reach the ears of the masses, not only of our own people, but those of the Outworlders? How will we be treated? Will a military force come up against us to avenge these females? Simply because we have the backing of the Empire in the treatment of their wayward females today, does it mean that backing will continue indefinitely? Since we are all well aware they are not to be trusted, it must be acknowledged that at the first sign that it is no longer convenient to them for this to continue, for whatever reason, they will disavow all knowledge of the agreement between us and them. In short, we will be betrayed by them. Perhaps by allowing this situation to continue, we are falling into a large trap planted for us by the Empire. In knowing that we are already not trusted by them, do we deserve betrayal for behaving as if there would be no consequence for mistreating the females of the current race in power? I am done with speculation and I leave the many layers of this matter to you."

He then looked carefully about the room with his last words, and watched closely. "In closing, I wish to say that sometimes a resource, any resource- such as energy, is siphoned to an excessive degree. If that resource is continually drawn upon it is inevitable that it will attract the attention of others, that it will be searched out and the root of the reason behind it discovered. If the situation behind it is indeed questionable, what will be done to put a stop to it?" he asked as he looked around the council chambers. He noticed several of the members looking at him with daggers. He took a mental picture of each flashing set of eyes and then he knew…T'Pau was indeed involved in the hoarding of Vulcan females. Her look contained venom was the most dangerous of all. He truly had never known his clan mother. He controlled himself as he exited, but he could not ignore the sensation of a sinking heaviness filling his stomach.

_Sorry the chapter was so short. I'm still not well, but I'm sort of confined to home while I recover and writing is one of the only things I can do when I'm not in pain. Love you guys! Don't stone me for how short this was! I promise to update again soon._


	35. Onward

Onward

Saturday morning rolled around. Mariana and Dana were in the process of taking their bags out of the house on Sarek's property. Mariana had one large bag slung over her shoulder. Dana had one medium bag on wheels and one small one perched on top of that. She pulled it along with one hand while Turan's gift was tucked under her other arm.

Shin and Zurel met up with them and began taking everything from the ladies to carry to the shuttle just outside the gate. "We got those bags for you, girls," said Shin with a wink and a grin. They both smiled at him and handed their things over but Dana wouldn't let go of the box of tumblers given to her by Turan. She pretended she didn't understand why, but she wanted to keep them with her until she could unpack them herself. But deep down she knew Turan would not at all appreciate any other male touching the things he had given to her. She was going to have to do something about that possessiveness of his.

The four were all walking past Sarek and Amanda's when the couple exited the home to bid them good-bye. Just as Amanda was hugging Dana and then Mariana, Maya ran from her and Sokam's and met up with them. The good-byes were quick and just a little bit sad.

"Don't be sad, guys!" insisted Dana. "We should have two ladies nights a week or something."

"That's a great idea!" said Mariana. "We don't have any furniture, but when we get some-"

Just then, Sarek pushed an envelope into her hands. "I wish for you two to procure things for your new abode. It is not proper that you should have to go without while I have such abundance at my disposal."

Mariana said, "Sarek, you've done enough to help us out already."

Dana took it from Mariana and opened the envelope. Her eyes widened at the sum being transferred to them. "You can't give us this!"

Amanda smiled as Sarek put his hands behind his back, refusing to take back the envelope Dana was trying to return. "We have already given it and shall not allow it to be returned. Amanda and I wish you well, ladies."

"Take it," Amanda insisted with a sad smile.

Dana and Mariana looked at each other with conspiratorial grins. "All right," said Dana. "But what about our ladies nights?"

"Movies at our house, every week, Fridays?" asked Mariana.

"I'll be there," said Amanda with a smile.

Maya nodded in agreement, trying to keep her still unknown future in the back of her mind. "And we should go out one night a month or something," she added, "when Mariana's not working at the clinic."

Everyone agreed and then the two ladies left for their new place.

####

Sokam had gone that day to inspect the premises he had been given by the school. It was the first time he allowed himself to come out of deep meditation in days. He thought he was functioning normally until he arrived at the little house near the Academy. It was then that he realized he was in error of how far along he truly was in his cycle of impending madness.

He entered the tiny courtyard that was really nothing more than a little patio area fenced in by a tall wall on all sides for privacy. The place was a one story natural stone-made home. It contained a master bedroom with private bath along the very back of the house, and one other bedroom, closer to the front of the house. In between that was an ample sized Common Room and a medium sized kitchen off to the side. It was clean and naturally cool on its own. Still empty of furniture, it was roomy enough and he saw it would suffice for the needs of him and his wife.

Shin would also stay with them for a time until Sarek no longer saw fit to protect his wife. Sokam was disturbed at the thought of another male living under the same roof with her, even though it was only Shin, a man he had seen was more than trustworthy with every female he oversaw. He knew it was not the logical part of himself that was threatened by the Terran male and sank down onto his knees in the empty Common Room. It took awhile, but he was finally able to enter the state of meditation needed to calm his rapidly rising and falling moods.

Upon opening his eyes again his internal chronometer noted that nearly two hours had passed while he had attempted to balance his emotions. He sighed tiredly as he acknowledged, this was not going well at all. And now his Maya would not be truly seen as _his_ until T'Pau decided to stop being such a BITCH! He stood and in a fit of instant anger he punched the wall and barely registered that he'd bloodied his hand on the semi-stone construct. He was breathing heavily and growing angrier the more he remembered that she might be taken away from him. He was unwilling to have his bond stripped. He would die if that's what it took, but he did not want another female to attend him during his time. It was Maya or no one. She was his. He had never denied the facts. He did not simply want her, he needed her.

But another side of himself, a protective side, realized that in a way T'Pau was correct. He might kill his Terran wife in his madness. And even if she survived, did he truly want her to be corralled into an illegitimate union? His status at the school did not matter to him. What mattered was that his wife would not be seen as truly _his_ wife until someone sanctioned them. And he couldn't think straight enough to figure out how to legitimize their situation. He stood and went to collect his wife. He decided that when he returned to this residence with her later he would go back into meditation to try and stave off the madness a little bit longer.

####

Amanda awoke early on Monday morning and went to her first day of work an hour away. She was taken by Zurel in the shuttle and it took all of Sarek's will to allow her to venture that distance from home without him. She sensed his strong internal conflict and loved him even more for letting her go despite it.

Her first day at the school was somewhat of a success. It was not the same, of course, as dealing with a roomful of Terran students. But the inquisitiveness and curiosity of her new pupils was enough to bowl her over.

After the first half an hour she had to set certain rules to ensure she didn't get overrun with questions. It all began with the saying 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'. After presenting it, Amanda paused for a split second and the questions she was peppered with, non-stop, were all at once practical, logical and surprisingly hilarious.

Student #1: "Is this only in the case of the one Terran fruit? Does it also apply, as well, to Terran oranges?"

Student #2: "What if there are intervening wind currents such as in your planet's hurricanes? Would not the apple then land further from the tree than is logically expected? Does the saying then still apply?"

Student #3: "And what if the apple is removed from the tree and does not fall? Does such a saying change the connotation?"

Student #4: "Does this saying imply that the bruising of fruit is in part the fault of the tree for having insufficient or weak limbs? Perhaps tampering with the genetic structure of the tree will make it a more efficient retainer of the fruit thus producing less bruising."

Student #5: "Since we are on the subject of bruising, does the saying have to do with the fruit itself causing bruises to a hapless traveler struck in the area of the skull by the falling object? Given the frailty of Terran skulls, would this not cause damage? And yet would the apple then not have as far to fall from the tree if there was no one walking, or in some cases standing, directly beneath the tree?"

All of the questions were given to her one after the other by five different students. She had to raise her hand quickly at the sixth student whose mouth was already open, ready to ask their own question. And she could swear she saw student number seven already gearing up to give his own particular spin on 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'. "This is what we're going to do," said Amanda, using everything inside herself to not burst into laughter. "When we come upon sayings like this, you will get to immediately write an essay of what you think the saying means. The best essay gets the highest grade, regardless of whether the writer even came close to what the saying meant. And then I get to explain to you exactly what it means and in what parameters as far as which culture it originated. All right? You all have your first assignment. I would like an essay on what _you_ think the meaning of the phrase 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' means."

And her students eagerly pulled out their PADDS and began to scribble furiously. Amanda felt that thrill go up her back. This was why she had become a teacher. The eagerness of a student jumping into an exciting subject gave her goose bumps and made her feel satisfied that she was making a difference to someone. There was no feeling like it.

But as she returned home, she remembered that all of her friends were gone, moved into new residences. Even Shin was gone, too, having been given into a sort of custody to Maya by Sarek. She sighed. She couldn't fight the feeling anymore. The situation definitely made her fall into the neighborhood of 'depressed'.

Sarek detected his wife's mood as she walked past his office and into their bedroom. He marveled again at how quickly his wife's emotions could go from a high to a crashing low. She had only just been in a state of joy at how well her first day had gone. He was not ashamed at keeping their bond open the entire day to see how things were going for her. But now, here she was, in a state of enveloping sadness. He didn't know if this was natural for Terrans to have such a wide range of emotions so quickly, but he did not want his wife to suffer a minute longer.

He stood and followed her into their bedroom where she was getting ready to shower. "Your day went well," he said. He knew how her day had progressed hence he had not seen the need to ask but to state it as fact.

She smiled over at him, her mood lifting somewhat as she pulled out a fresh towel for herself. "Sarek! I know you have work to do. Don't let me take you from it," she said.

"Your mood has descended into the lower realms, Amanda. I wished to see what may be done so that it can once again be lifted."

She looked at him and smiled. "You're so sweet, Sarek."

He nearly frowned. "Sweet?"

And then she thought of the round of questions that had been thrown at her that day by her students and found she was laughing at herself for telling her Vulcan husband he was 'sweet' and him not understanding what she meant at all. One minute she was laughing, almost hysterical, and the next minute her tears began. She flopped down onto their bed, a different kind of hysterical then. "What is wrong with me?"

Sarek, sufficiently alarmed now, sat next to her. "I have never seen you behave this way, Amanda. Must I call a healer? I will summon T'Niye if you wish it."

She ran her hands over her face, wiping away her tears. She waved his words off. "Sarek, there have been so many changes, so fast, over the last few weeks. I'm having a hard time keeping up, that's all. This is what happens when you have this many changes too soon. Your Terran will have a mini-breakdown." Then she began to giggle a little strangely as she hiccupped. "Maybe I should be the first to write a pamphlet for Vulcan men that marry Terran females. 'The Care and Upkeep of Your Terran Wife'. I'll make a section for situations like this called, 'What to do if she starts crying hysterically'."

"That is an excellent idea, my wife," said Sarek. He was even more clueless as she began to cry worse. She fell over sideways and put her face into the covers and just let it all out. He wished he had that pamphlet she had yet to author right then and there.

He was still sitting there next to his wife, not sure of what to do or say next. He could detect that she was not at all interested in sexual relations at that time. Neither was he, but he was eager to try whatever it took so that she would return to her normal self. He remembered when the mood shifts had begun. This mood had been encroaching upon her slowly since the week before when she discovered that all of her friends were moving away soon. "Amanda, perhaps a visit with Mariana and Dana is in order."

She looked up and smiled over at him, already in the process of forcing herself to calm down. She wiped at her tears as she sat up and said, "Sarek, they have so much stuff to do now. I'm sure they don't need me in the way."

"Perhaps you may be a help them," he said. "And perhaps it will lift your mood if you spend some time with them this week helping to put their apartment in order."

She nodded in agreement. "Well at least I can help _them_."

He wondered what that meant. "The inflection of your last word implies there is someone whom you cannot help at this time. Who is it you cannot help at this time, Amanda?"

She swallowed but didn't answer. She was worried about Maya. But Sarek was right. "I think I _will_ go over to Mariana and Dana's and see if they need some help tonight. I'll see if I can grab Maya and take her with me." She stood and forced herself to take a deep breath and said under her breath three times, "Come on, Amanda, pull it together." Then she seemed to set her back straight and walk into the bathroom to take her shower.

Sarek sat there, still clueless on exactly what had occurred, why his wife had had a 'mini-breakdown' as she had termed it, and wondered at exactly who else she sought to help but could not. He was also puzzled at how quickly his wife seemed to pull herself together after uttering the phrase to herself 'pull it together'. Was this how Terrans behaved in private to regain control of themselves? Many questions ran through his mind and he pondered every one of them. He would have to ask his wife many questions later when she was nowhere near this 'mini-breakdown' state. He did not understand the Terran mind, but the one thing he had learned in his years as an ambassador was not to bring up a sensitive subject while the person was still dealing with it.

After Amanda picked up Maya, the two went over to Dana and Mariana's and helped them paint their new apartment. Amanda sent Zurel home and kept Shin with them. The four ladies and Shin had fun as they laughed and painted. They were able to get a lot of work done that night.

The day after they had moved in, Dana, Mariana and Turan had applied primer to the entire apartment. And with the help of Amanda, Maya and Shin, Mariana and Dana were able to give the entire place a coat of fresh paint that night. They sent Shin out to get pizza at a new place that had just opened in the Terran section. Then they invited him in to eat it with them when he came back with it. He didn't think he should, but he did anyway.

Amanda went home that night in good spirits. Shin dropped her off and then took Maya back home with him.

####

Maya didn't mention that she had had a very hard time leaving the house that day with Amanda since Sokam had tried nearly everything in the book so she would not leave. He was becoming more and more possessive. Only when she assured him that she would be in the company of nothing but females, and of course Shin, did he relent. She wished the damned thing would just show up already so that she could have her logical reasonable man back. She missed that man. At the same time, she worried for him. He spent every waking moment in meditation. When he slept, his sleep was fitful. He tossed and turned and twice she heard him whispering her name in his sleep in a fevered way. It made her nervous but also unmistakably turned on.

Before, it had been almost contained aggression when he didn't want her to leave his side. But that evening before she'd left, she detected a strange shift in the way he handled himself. She'd been ready to walk out, already dressed, and he'd cornered her, arms on the doorframe. "Where are you going?" he asked, his body language overtly sensual and masculine. And was he sweating?

She swallowed. He hadn't touched her in bed for over a week. He was trying to keep himself together and he knew doing that would make it only come for him sooner. She missed him, physically, and had a hard time hiding her reaction to him being so close to her for the first time in days. "I'm going to help Mariana and Dana make their apartment livable."

His mouth turned upward into an almost flirtatious grin as his face came close to hers. "Is that correct, my wife?"

She found herself smiling up at him against her will. Something told her she should not encourage him. "Yes, that's correct."

"You cannot go," he said, his mood shifting instantly. His body closed in on hers. "Your place is with me. I cannot risk losing you now."

Maya looked upward at the ceiling and sighed. "Sokam, my friends need some help and I'm going to help them."

His body then moved suggestively against hers, the planes of his hard body meeting her soft curves. "I can tell how you truly feel, wife. You wish to have our bodies intertwined. It has been sometime for us, yes?"

"Sokam, don't do this to me now!" He knew she was sex-starved. And it was partially his fault. Why did he have to be so good at it?

"Thank you for the compliment, wife," he said with an almost wolfish smile at the stray thought that had crossed her mind.

She had never seen him smile like that before. Her body responded against her will and she found herself instantly turned on. "Holy crap," she muttered. "Sokam, get off of me _right now_!" And she meant business. He still had enough control over himself to back away from her. But he had a very satisfied smirk on his face. She took that opportunity. "You better meditate some more. You're smiling again."

His face froze as he remembered himself. "I am," he said as his face went straight. "You are correct. I must attempt to control myself better."

"And don't worry. It's going to be a house full of girls and maybe Shin to watch over us, all right?"

He gave her one curt nod, settled himself down onto the floor and closed his eyes. Maya knew the drill. She lit the incense for him before taking the out and getting herself the hell out of the house while she could.

After she'd come home that night, satisfied from having some time with her friends and parts of her covered in paint, she saw Sokam was still meditating. She also couldn't help but notice that he barely ate these days. She knew he could take going without food for a long time, but she couldn't help but be worried for him. She took a thorough shower, lit him another pot of incense for his concentration and then went to bed.

####

Sarek was at his desk filling out an interminable amount of electronic paperwork. It seemed he would have a choice of several new assignments soon. One of which was to return to Terra Prime. Since the embassy was considered Vulcan soil, Amanda would be able to go with him directly there, but she would never be allowed to leave the grounds while she still had the title of Thought Crime on her head. If she ever did, a bounty hunter would most likely lay claim to her and deliver her to the emperor's people. She would be executed. He suppressed something that felt like a shudder trying to steal up his frame.

It was the reason he was considering not returning to his wife's former home. But T'Pau was virtually demanding he do so. She could not order him, but she could strongly suggest it. And she was strongly suggesting he take up his post again, though he had resigned weeks before. It was going to be difficult to turn her down and still have her approval.

His comm went off then and he answered it. There was a very teary-eyed Maya staring back at him. She was calm, but she was obviously crying. "Sarek, that V'Shar agent, Stilen, he just took Shin away."

Sarek said, "Tell me exactly what you remember, quickly."

"I was going shopping for food and Agent Stilen came in a ground vehicle with two other Vulcans and…Shin pushed me and told me get away…he got Shin."

He realized then that the little Terran was dazed. "When did this happen, Maya?"

"I just got back into the house now. This was right outside the gate of my house." Her words started to come fast. "And Shin pushed me back into the gate. I tried to go after him but he gave me this warning look. He represented with some serious Kung Fu Fighting, went toe-to-toe with one of them then threw him down with some maneuver. I still don't know what that was."

She gave off the ghost of a smile. "The other one was fast, though, got behind him. Nerve-pinched him. I don't even know how that happened. Then Stilen was standing in front of me and he said, 'If you surrender yourself to us, we will return your guard. Come voluntarily and it will be better for everyone involved.' And then they shoved him into the vehicle and they all left."

Sarek's face was very serious as he said, "I want you to promise me something."

"What is that?" she asked, still relatively calm.

"You will not give yourself over to the V'Shar."

She looked up and away and he could see the sheen of fresh tears in her eyes. "Sarek, I can't let someone go through this for me, not for one minute. What if they-"

"I will get Shin back," he assured her.

She swallowed back her tears and rubbed at her eyes. She was very tired and very worried. First about Sokam, now about Shin. "What if you can't?" she asked, trying to face the possibility.

"It can be done."

She nodded. But she didn't believe him one bit. "I promise not to give myself to them… yet."

"You cannot entertain the thought at all."

"But Shin-"

"-is a bodyguard. And he is trained for all eventualities. He would not wish to live if you turned yourself in on his behalf. Try to see it from that point of view. What would Shin have you do?"

She sighed and thought clearly for the first time. "You're right. He would want to kill himself, and _me_, if I did that." But she knew Sarek was not going to be able to get him back.

She was getting fed up with this world and its many intricacies that she did not understand. And she started to feel that perhaps it was time for her to take matters into her own hands. But she remembered what Amanda told her about that not so long a time ago. It could only be done with logic. It was the only thing the people on this planet respected. But how was she going to use logic to get herself out of this one?

As expected, Sarek had been unable to secure Shin's release. Maya went to bed late that evening after working out the outline of a plan and doing some serious research on the restricted section of the Vulcan net using Sokam's access codes. She didn't want to go to sleep, she wanted to push on until morning and see her plan through. But she knew if her plan was going to work she needed sleep to freshen her mind so she forced herself to get into bed. Before she went to bed, she lit another cone of incense for Sokam whom was in the longest meditation session she had ever seen him maintain. He had not emerged even once the entire day. He had no idea yet about what had happened with Shin, either. Or if he did, he didn't think he could afford to come out of meditation even for that. She knew his time was up.

Maya awoke that morning to see her husband sitting across the room from her. He looked as if he was restraining himself with all of his might. The sun wasn't even up yet. "Sokam?" she asked, afraid of what he would do if she even moved.

"Please go while you can, Maya," he begged. She had never seen him this bad off before. He swallowed and looked away from her, his face almost tortured.

She sat up quickly, the last of her plan solidifying in her mind. "How much time do you have?"

"I have attempted to hold this off for as long as possible. But I cannot. I acknowledge that now."

"Why are you telling me to leave you, then?" she asked, alarmed.

He was holding himself back with every inch of control he had left. "Leave me, wife. I do not wish for this to happen between us. I do not wish to hurt you. I do not wish for you to be tied to me in an unsanctioned union."

She stood and picked up the clothing and a bag sitting right next to her that she'd prepared the night before. She knew better than to go anywhere near him at that point. The bond between them was like an alarm blaring in her mind. She needed him and he more than needed her. "You listen to me, Sokam, I don't know what you have planned in that mind of yours, but there's a way for us to have a sanctioned union. And it's _going_ to happen."

"There is nothing you can say to T'Pau to change-"

"Forget her. She said an elder has to sanction us. And I have someone who's even older than her in mind."

He swallowed. And though he had told her to leave, his heart was in his throat as she approached the door. "Where are you going?"

She looked him in the eye as she stood in the doorway of their bedroom. "I'm going to do what needs to be done so that I can take control of my life."

He found himself able to smile freely as a sweat broke out on his forehead. "My wife. She is competent and beautiful." He lay down on his side and curled up into a fetal position as he began to shiver slightly. "Go now while you can, Maya, and carry out your plans."


	36. Running Interference

Running Interference

Sarek and Amanda were ready for a visit from Demek whom had only just been released from the Vulcan Academy Hospital. They all wished it was a social call, but it was not. Serious things were afoot and once apprised of the full situation, the elder had information they all sorely needed.

"Please, enter my abode," said Sarek as he opened the door. Zurel was standing just behind him, having escorted him from the gate. The guard nodded once at Sarek and then went on his way.

Demek entered the home with his hand raised in salute. "Live long and prosper, Sarek."

"Peace and long life," answered the younger man.

"Lady Amanda, I am pleased to see you well," Demek addressed her once he was inside the home.

Amanda, unable to hide her stress over a situation that seemed to be attempting to swallow one of her best friends, only nodded at Demek with a wan smile. "You too, Demek." She handed him a tumbler of water as a sign of hospitality.

"Please, sit," invited Sarek as he took his own seat. Amanda sat next to her husband and for once was careful not to touch him. He knew then exactly how stressed she was. His wife usually sought reassurance via touch. She knew Demek did not hold the same distaste for her Terran ways as other Vulcans and therefore there was no reason for her to hide her true self from him. She was also trying her best to keep her turmoil to herself and not allow it to leech into their bond. He ached, internally, for the turmoil his wife was in for her friends, for she seemed to have made fast friends with Shin whom she had only just met a few weeks before. "You were quite urgent when I spoke with you an hour ago," said Sarek to Demek.

After taking a small drink of the liquid given to him, he answered, "I have uncovered several important pieces of information. I knew you would want to have access to everything I have been able to uncover."

"Indeed, I would."

"On your first inquiry, I was also unable to affect the release of your Terran guard. Agent Sumar has assured me that, in fact, the V'Shar have not at all authorized this course of action. We are almost being led to assume by the V'Shar that Agent Stilen has acted of his own volition. But I suspect that someone senior in our government has authorized his actions. When Sumar approached his superiors about the matter, he was effectively told that it was not his jurisdiction and that he could not handle the matter."

"That's it?" exploded Amanda.

Demek nodded once. "That is all for now."

Sarek said, "This is unfortunate indeed. That Maya would be asked to hand herself over quite literally on the eve of her husband's Time coming to full fruition-" The answers then fell into place and it pained him to say it, but he felt obligated to speak the truth. "And until someone more senior comes into play, there is nothing we may do. I suspect T'Pau has done this."

"If she has found the young Terran as distasteful as you have indicated, it would not be beyond her to have a very logical way to have her removed without breaking the law or causing the death or injury of another," agreed Demek.

Amanda said, "But Sokam will die if-"

"If Maya hands herself over to the V'Shar voluntarily," said Sarek, "her bond would be stripped and Sokam would be handed over to another to serve him in his time of need. He would not die. But the amount of suffering he will endure in the meantime is unmentionable."

Amanda looked down, feeling helpless about her friend's situation all over again. "How could she be so cruel? Maya loves Sokam. And Sokam-" She paused. She already knew you didn't use the word 'love' in the same sentence about a Vulcan.

"T'Pau is not acting from a place of cruelty. I honestly do not know her true intentions," said Demek. "But you must understand that she assumes the responsibility of creating desirable unions as a clan mother. And Sokam has made a more than undesirable union in her eyes. To increase the size of this problem, he made this union without her permission and based, it seems, halfway on emotion since he was already in the beginning stages of his Time. That was not logical and to her it will not do. She sees herself as preventing her kinsman from being forced into a marriage he later will not wish to remain in."

"But Maya's been so good for him," said Amanda, clearly upset. "Sarek, can she do this? Why can she do this?"

"She is an elder, Amanda."

"But so is he! Can't he do something!" she said as she looked at Demek with pleading eyes. "Can't you do something?"

"Only a female may attain the title of 'clan mother'. I am male and I am not even a clan leader. I can do nothing. You need the services of a true elder. I am an elder in age only."

Sarek said, "Maya contacted me this morning and I have been apprised of Sokam's status. He will be picked up, shortly, and taken to a secluded waiting place until the proper arrangements have been made. I have made certain to use guards loyal only to me. My ward has since set things in motion to make what she has termed 'a deal'."

Amanda could detect amusement and a tiny sliver of pride in Sarek toward Maya. "What did she do?" she asked.

"She should be, at this moment, speaking with T'Niye."

"The healer?" asked Amanda. "Why is she seeing a healer? She's not going to get her bond stripped, is she?"

Demek's eyes perceptibly widened. "No. T'Niye is a female elder and clan leader. And though she is not yet a clan mother, she is next in line to become clan mother for her family. She need only receive the permission of her clan mother and then she may officiate at their union."

"But what if her clan mother won't-"

"She will," assured Demek. "If T'Niye deems it so, her clan mother will not turn down her request."

"Why not?" asked Amanda. "If T'Pau is so against Maya why would another female elder help her?"

Demek said, "You are young to the ways of our world. You do not yet fully comprehend the family politics and what transpires between us behind-the-scenes. Maya has most likely taken information from Sokam's mind, among other places, and is now acting upon it. T'Pau has underestimated the role of emotion paired with resourcefulness."

Sarek looked at him pointedly.

"I did not say it was logical," said Demek. "Only an effective motivator in the case of your ward."

####

Maya exited her shared bedroom with Sokam. She had left him on his own, but knew that would not be for long. The guards would come to get him, Sarek had assured her. She trusted Sarek. There was nearly no one else she could trust these days, except for a select few persons, and she'd called T'Niye within moments of speaking with him.

She took advantage of the time she had and quickly used the sonic shower attached to Shin's room, then put on a very high quality understated dress. It was one of the only purchases she had made since arriving on Vulcan. She bought the dress originally to use for family functions. She had no idea it would be used for this.

The long garment was deep blue and covered her well. It was almost Renaissance in style with a few differences to that style here and there. The a-line cut dress was very strangely comfortable and made of a heavy fabric reminiscent of velour but much cooler. The lower portion was not too long or full and she was confident she wouldn't wind up tripping on the hem. The sleeves toward the wrists were slightly wider and a bit too long, she realized, so that she could shield her skin from the sun within them when she crossed her hands closely together. And there was a very convenient cloak attached to the back that almost blended in with the fabric when it was not being worn up and over her hair.

She quickly added a small amount of cosmetics to her skin but was careful not to overdo it. She took her curls and put them into a very contained updo that was not at all her style but she knew was necessary for the look she was trying to pull off. She was nervous as she made her preparations, but she knew she had no choice. This had to be done and it had to be done right. She walked outside the house and waited at her gate.

Within fifteen minutes a shuttle landed and Healer T'Niye exited. "I have come to speak with thee, young one, as has been requested," greeted the healer.

Maya didn't know what she was and was not supposed to do. She most certainly knew she shouldn't smile though her instincts were telling her to do so. She remembered almost last minute this was not Terra Prime and the same rules of etiquette did not apply here. She simply nodded once. "I appreciate you coming this far to speak with me, elder. Where do you think we should do this?"

"I shall come within your courtyard," she said as she stepped forward and away from the shuttle. One of her guards also exited and went to follow. "Return to the shuttle," she instructed him. "I will be but a moment."

Maya didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. But she kept her confusion hidden by turning quickly and making sure T'Niye only saw the back of her head until her face was under control.

The healer stepped into her courtyard and closed the door so that it was now only the two of them. The older woman took a seat without being asked to do so. The young lady in front of her was obviously in a state of distress though she was doing everything to cover it. Her shields were up and her face was almost blank, but her body language looked rigid compared to the last time she had seen her. T'Niye admired the young woman, to some extent, for her initiative. What, she wondered, would the young lady say? Would she make or break herself this day? Would she use emotion or logic? She would remain impersonal toward her only until she proved her worth…if she could prove her worth.

Maya sat down opposite T'Niye on a stool that was slightly below her and looked up at the elder. It was one of the only things she knew for sure from Sokam that she should do, sit below the elder to receive whatever knowledge she had. She couldn't detect one thought from the look on the woman's face. But she knew this was her last hope. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and forced herself to go forward. "First of all I want to thank you again for coming to me. I was more than ready to go to you."

"I am a healer. It is my duty to serve those in need. I am accustomed to travelling to those that are in need."

"But I didn't call you here as a healer today. I've called you here outside of your services and for that I'm thankful that you came." T'Niye nodded at her once. Maya took that as a green light and continued. "Please, forgive me ahead of time. I don't understand the culture here or the ways and I don't know if the things I'm saying are going to be wrong or right."

"Proceed."

She looked down at her hands and then remembered every Vulcan she ever knew made it a point to have direct eye-contact throughout all conversations. She forced herself to look up at the elder and then forced herself not to show her nervousness by doing something like sighing. "Shin, my guard, has been taken from me. The agent from the V'Shar has taken him and I don't know what I should do. They demand that I hand myself over to them and only then will they release him."

"And what do you ask of me, young one?"

"I know that elders are the only ones they respect. If you asked them to hand him over, would they give him to you?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

Maya sat there, nodding. She was waiting for T'Niye to say something else for about five seconds when she realized the woman considered the conversational ball to be back in her court. "All right. Would you do that for me?"

"Yes," said T'Niye.

Maya was taken aback. Why had she given in so easily? "Really?"

"It is what I have stated, is it not?" she said. But there was a note of amusement in her eyes.

"Yes, of course," she said. "I was just-" She stopped speaking. Surprise was an emotion. Right. Don't go there. But she hadn't expected that part of things to go that smoothly. "Are you as free with information?"

T'Niye hadn't expected her to go this route and was a little intrigued with what the little Terran would come up with next. "Yes."

Maya detected the woman was being quite patient with her. Maybe she'd actually caught her interest. She swallowed and continued, unsure of herself but flying full steam ahead, "I've observed that every person on your world I've come across who has realized that I'm a Terran with telepathic abilities has been almost eager to take over educating me on their usage. Why is that?"

No, it was not the question she had expected to hear. Her curiosity piqued as to where the young lady was taking this, she also saw no reason to not answer it, either. "Everyone has the desire to take something new, untouched, and cultivate it along their particular path. Everyone sees their logic as correct in their own eyes."

"The V'Shar want to make me into an agent. They want to take my mental abilities and teach me how to use them to their advantage. I get that. But what sort of interest could other Vulcans outside the intelligence sector have in me?"

"They wish to cultivate you, your thoughts and your abilities in the correct way, in the ways of logic and discipline so that it is assured you do not misuse them. As you grow older, your abilities will grow stronger. It is necessary that such a force should have discipline, boundaries."

She nodded. "I have been encouraged to pick a mentor to teach me on several occasions."

"It would be wise of you to do so. As you grow stronger, they will hamper your way of life without training and perhaps also put the lives of others in danger."

And this was where it was about to get hairy. She had the sudden sensation of someone who was about to hurl herself into oncoming traffic and did it anyway. "I choose you, elder."

T'Niye blinked once, twice, three times. The little Terran was an unexpected thing and it began to dawn on her exactly why T'Pau wanted her out of the way. "You will first explain your logic to me, young one."

She knew at that point only the truth would do. And the Historian in her took over. "I took the time last night to research you and your family. They are an old and noble line dedicated to the spread of logic. You weren't always on that path, though. Your clan only converted to the ways of Surak nearly four hundred years ago, but never looked back to the old ways once they did. Your last clan mother, the one before your clan mother now, was born a V'Tosh Ka'tur. Your clan was little more than persecuted for the first century after your conversion. Reviled as untrustworthy by your old associates on the other side of your world most likely because they were hurt that you'd left them behind, but still not yet trusted by the Syrranites who logically thought it best to take a wait and see approach about your clan, unlike the current trend of those jumping the proverbial wall one at a time, your clan mother back then uprooted an entire clan and moved them to this side of the planet.

"After a century of remaining here, on this side, and not one of yours reneging to return to their old ways you were finally not only accepted, but trusted and seen as one of the true harbingers of pure logic. More of your number have sought and attained Kolinahr than any other clan. You are seen as only second to T'Pau's clan and her clan is highest only because her line descends directly from Surak's. You were offered a seat on the current council but for reasons no one know you turned it down. I have asked that you be the one to teach me because via family melds you most likely know what it is to be seen as an outsider. You could teach me the proper ways to handle that and still thrive here. Along with that thinking I know that as a healer, you've gone through rigorous mental training, so you could probably hone my skills just as well as a master could. And that was my logic in asking that you become my teacher in the mental disciplines."

T'Niye was fascinated! But she contained her eagerness to accept this new student and instead laid bare one other thing she detected. "There is more to this logic but you do not yet speak of it. You think perhaps you will overstep yourself. If you are to be my student, all must be transparent between us. Speak it now."

Maya realized then, this healer was reading her though her shields were up! She had been found out and decided she might as well charge onward with the last part of her plan now. "There has been no marriage alliance with the clan of Surak and your clan. I wasn't able to officially find out why. It didn't make any sense. Wouldn't the two strongest clans stand to benefit by joining together. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, T'Pau is threatened by your clan's power. Take me as your student and sanction my union with Sokam, and it will take you one step closer to a marriage alliance with my husband's clan. The student of T'Niye would be officially bonded to someone from the house of Surak."

She wanted to see how savvy this one truly was. Was she offering what she thought she was offering? "And how would this produce a marriage alliance between the clan of Surak and my clan?"

She swallowed. "My husband is still seen with an element of suspicion because of how late in life he attained the True Path in the eyes or your people. He may have a difficult time finding a bond mate for our child, especially since I am Terran and my child will be a hybrid." She did not tell T'Niye that Sokam had had these thoughts about their future child and what might happen with him or her. The thoughts had not been filled with worry or haste, but still they had been there.

T'Niye would have smiled if she were Terran. "You are offering your child to marry a child of my clan."

She swallowed again, nervous. "My son…if I have a son, I won't have him dying because he cannot find a bond mate. Most likely no Terran will marry him since it will most likely still be illegal for a Terran to marry him. I can only guess he will appear more Vulcan than Terran, and I can only predict that by then there might still be a shortage of Vulcan females. Also, being aligned to your house can only be an advantage and make it more likely that he will be accepted into Vulcan society fully despite his Terran blood. Yes, I offer my son for one your daughters."

"And if you should have a female?"

"Her blood content will be unimportant, only that she is female and of the House of Surak. She would be sought after and it would make it an even bigger advantage for you to have her chosen to save a son of your house. And I would have her treated well by whomever we choose for her. Your house is the only house I know of without a prejudice toward Outworlders since they haven't forgotten their history of how they were treated when they first came to this side. I would rather she marry into your clan than any other."

T'Niye simply sat there for a full minute, wordless. Finally, she spoke almost slowly, "You have bargained with logic. That was not your first instinct, but you were able to override them... I will sanction your marriage to Sokam."

"And the rest of the deal?"

"You will be my student in the mental arts. And your son may marry one of our daughters so that when his Time comes upon him he will not have to risk death; if you have a girl child she will be well treated by us and the son of our house and she will save his life as has been the custom since the time of the beginning, and we will finally attain a marriage alliance with the House of Surak."

Maya added, "Of course, none of this will go into effect until Shin is delivered to me."

"That is only logical." She then stood and seemed about to depart. "I will impart your first lesson in logic now, my student."

"Yes?" asked Maya, lightheaded that she'd pulled this off.

"T'Pau is the one behind the taking of Shin, not the V'Shar."

Her face fell. "What?"

"Using logic, can you extrapolate why?"

Maya stood there thinking hard for a few minutes. "She wants to get rid of me. If she can get the V'Shar to take me via my own will, she could have finally gotten rid of me for good."

"Logical. But that is not her way," corrected T'Niye. "T'Pau wished for you to make a decision and show your true loyalties. It was, in effect, a test. Where would your loyalties go? With a Terran male not even of your blood or with he you wished to officially call 'husband'?"

Maya looked down at her hands and admitted, "Sarek called me back to reason and forced me to promise not to do something so stupid. So that decision wasn't entirely of my making."

"And how did he do that?" she asked, curious as to how Sarek dealt with Terran emotions.

"He reminded me that Shin would think he had failed in his duties if someone he was guarding gave themselves up for him."

"It was Sarek that put you on the path of logic. But it was solely your thoughts that forced you to continue upon that path. You have much potential, T'Maya."

She caught the name change and only nodded. "What happens now?"

"I affect Shin's release. And within one day's time you will arrive at the site of Sarek's family koon-ut-kal-if-fee grounds. I will come this evening and instruct you in all that you should do tomorrow. I will meld the information into you to ensure that you do not forget anything."

"Is it necessary to-"

"You are my student, are you not? We will meld on a regular basis for that reason alone so that you may learn how to use your abilities correctly. But I also consider myself your teacher in Vulcan ways. You are now she who will raise a child who shall marry one of my direct descendants. You cannot be ignorant to our ways."

Maya didn't say one more word. She also caught the fact that whatever child she had would be joined to not only a child of T'Niye's house, but one who came directly from the healer. She was amazed and humbled because there was only one reason the healer would do such a thing. "Live long and prosper," she said as she held back her emotions.

T'Niye reached forward, lifted Maya's hand and wordlessly instructed her in how to do the official salute. Through the brief contact, Maya sensed her new teacher's affection and patience with her. Afterward, the older woman then raised her own hand in the _ta'al_ to her new student and then left.

Once she knew the elder was gone, Maya sat down hard in the chair she had occupied before, the shakes of nervousness finally taking her. Things could have gone very badly but they hadn't. She'd done what she previously thought was next to impossible and now her Sokam would live.

_Thanks everyone for your well-wishes. I feel much better than I did and have been able to get around. My pain has lessened considerably and I'm taking advantage of that because in the beginning of November I have to get a procedure done to take care of this situation and I'm going to be knocked out in pain even worse for a little while, but at least then it will take care of this for good! In the meantime, I'm trying my best to get out as much of this story as possible so that I don't leave you all waiting in limbo for too long. - J.S._


	37. Rivals Revealed

_I want to thank everyone who put get-wells in their reviews. Let's just say things got much worse, a misdiagnoses was changed to a correct one and hopefully the right medications will help my recovery be much smoother. Thank you all for your patience! Hopefully this rollercoaster of health hasn't dulled my writing skills. I'm still on pain meds so who knows! - J.S._

Rivals Revealed

Sarek received a message in the middle of Demek's visit. He informed them of its contents. "Sokam has been collected by my guard and taken to a location unknown even to T'Pau-"

Amanda asked, "Well what good is all of this if-"

"—and it is confirmed, Maya has gotten T'Niye to officiate," said Sarek.

Amanda's mouth dropped open, eyes full of amazement. "She's already gotten her to agree to do it?"

"Not only has she agreed to perform their sanctioned union, my wife, but Shin shall also be returned to us this day, and according to a message sent by T'Niye herself the healer will be arriving here at our residence this evening to prepare her student for what will occur tomorrow."

Both Demek and Amanda simply stared back at Sarek. "Student?" Amanda was the one who finally asked.

"I suspect Maya has used her abilities to reign in a deal with T'Niye. Perhaps she has offered herself as a student of the mental arts in order to secure T'Niye's protection in our society. Perhaps she has offered to become a convert to Surak. However, I have not the gift of conjecture and I am unaware of the nature of their agreement at this time."

"Fascinating," was the only thing Demek found himself able to say.

Amanda caught a definite burst of pride for Maya via Sarek and then it quickly receded. She smirked at him. "So we get Shin back and Maya comes back here tonight?"

"As is proper," said Sarek. "She is the ward of the House of Sarek and she should leave my home to go to her husband tomorrow. And now T'Pau can no longer turn down her place in our house or society. She is sanctioned by an elder older than her and a House second only to our own. She would appear to be most illogical if she persisted in rejecting the young woman now."

Amanda found herself smiling and then laughing. Maya had gotten the upper hand on the old crone after all. "That's our Maya. She always was like that. Stumped at the beginning of a problem. But when the wheels in her head start turning, look out!" she grinned. Amanda's mind then turned to a question she really needed an answer to. "But will T'Niye treat her well?"

Demek, however, was more than pleased. "The young lady could not have found a more diligent teacher. T'Niye is wise and patient. She is also on par with the Terran concept of 'fairness' in all of her dealings with others."

She sighed, finally relieved. "All right."

"I must now tell you of what has been discovered, so far, by the V'Shar in their investigation of the situation at hand, Sarek. Is Amanda aware of the extent of things?"

"She is aware," he answered.

He continued, "Then I have much to reveal before Maya arrives. There is no need to make her mind wander, is there?" he said to Amanda with the raise of one eyebrow. He turned to Sarek then, his face fully serious. "According to Sumar's extrapolations of the tri-corder information I was able to obtain, the females put into cryo-stasis were apart of the last wave who were sickened by the virus. He has reason to suspect that there are more of them elsewhere. They are currently attempting to locate them."

Sarek agreed, "I, too, wondered if that was not the only cache."

"Yes. Apparently, from what the V'Shar uncovered, the females were initially put into cryogenic stasis for the very noble purpose of reviving them once a cure was found. According to the Health Ministries some forty thousand females were placed into cryogenic stasis with that purpose. But by the time a cure was indeed found, only twenty thousand females were discovered to still be in stasis and within their possession. Members of the council, it is still unknown which ones, confiscated twenty thousand. It was not disclosed why or where they were taken. It has also been confirmed that all of the females who were taken were in an unbonded state. The night of my injury I unintentionally stumbled across perhaps five thousand of them. That is all they have been able to ascertain from their investigation at this time."

"If it truly is the council that has done this, I do not think it will ever come to light," Sarek said with a straight face. "And if it never comes to light, justice will never be served." But Amanda could sense, he was worse than not pleased. He was walking the finer side of enraged but holding it at bay. She also knew he was going to have to remain in meditation for a large portion of the night to contain the emotion that could turn into a chain reaction for a Vulcan. For Sarek, to have a situation such as this, so many apparently unnecessary deaths unanswered for, it sickened him.

She wanted to reach out and touch his hand to reassure him but knew that that was not considered proper among his people. Even if it was Demek with them, and she knew he would not at all mind, she didn't think it was wise of her to grow accustomed to doing that in front of any Vulcans. It wouldn't do for her to forget and slip up later in the company of someone else. She imagined herself touching her husband so casually by accident in T'Pau's presence and her stomach lurched at the impropriety of such a situation on this world. She turned and walked away from both men, appearing to casually look out of the window at the beautiful rock garden put together by none other than Shin. She remembered the eagerness on his face the day she met him and the way he'd asked her if she liked his creation.

Sarek's mind was there, attempting to soothe hers. _I appreciate your restraint…your respect of my people and their ways for my sake speaks volumes to me, Ashayam…_

She was glad to be facing the window because she felt a thrill of emotion run up her spine for him and the way that he was with her. A tear immediately found its way to her eye. She loved him so much, so deeply. She could never show it to anyone else but him and it was starting to hurt her that this feeling was something to be seen as a thing one must keep hidden as if it were shameful or criminal. Though she'd already loved him, she hadn't expected this depth of feeling to form between them when they initially decided to bond. And even though she understood why it had to be this way, the feeling of hurt cut so deeply she found herself needing to leave the room so she could gain control of herself.

####

Maya made it to them later in the evening. She looked stressed out. "Are you okay?" asked Amanda as she snuck into her room as quietly as possible.

Maya tried to lie through her teeth. Instead, the truth came out with a nervous giggle. "No."

"Did you see Shin since he got back?"

She swallowed back her tears. "Yes. I apologized to him, for getting him all tied up in this mess."

"And?"

"He said there was nothing to apologize for."

"And?" pressed Amanda.

"And he really meant it, I could sense that. He's really okay with me. So why am I not okay with myself?"

Amanda sat down next to her friend and sighed. "Beating yourself up over this is not a good thing the day before your wedding."

"Oh, that?" said Maya. "The event I actually negotiated so it would happen? The thing I'm more afraid of than anything else right now? Am I crazy? What was I thinking? I don't know if I can do this."

"Did something happen? What happened?"

_ The guards came to collect Sokam. There were five in all and Zurel was one of them. "Maya," said the man who had come to be a trusted friend. "Please, remove yourself from the area before we collect him from the house."_

_She had been waiting outside for them since T'Niye had departed. She wanted to make sure Sokam was all right and on his way before she left. But the bond between them was pulled taut, like a cord between them would snap if she tried to go too far away from him. She had heeded her husband's words from earlier and not reentered the house though something inside her was trying to pull her back to him. But now Zurel was telling her she shouldn't be seen by him at all? "Should I go so far from him now?" she wondered. It went against an almost ancient instinct that seemed to come along with the bond itself._

_ "You must. If he catches sight of you now due to the state he is in, he will be able to fight all five of us off of him just to reach you. I am certain you already know he is not himself. We must place him somewhere where he can meditate without distraction. But if he sees you…" Zurel simply nodded in the negative._

_ Maya went and hid herself off to the side of her little house just as the rest of the guards opened the door. And the man standing there was not her Sokam in the least. She turned away and pulled herself around the house just in time to miss his head turning sharply in the direction where she had been standing. He was searching for her. Had he scented her on the nonexistent breeze?_

_ She could not see him with her eyes, but through the bond she picked up on what he was doing. He was searching the area for her. She had enough knowledge to block him. He was led away by the guard. He knew what they were there for. They were there to take him to her. And that was all that mattered to him at the moment._

Maya asked, "You remember the old expression 'the lights are on but no one's home'?"

Amanda made a mental note to herself to add that onto her list of sayings for her class to work on at some point. "Yes."

"That was him. He was conscious. He was there but he was not there. In short, my husband is nuttier than a mixed bag at this point."

Amanda was glad that at least her humor was still working. "Maya, you know it's temporary."

"I keep telling myself that."

"And oh, hey! On her way out, I spoke to T'Niye and she okayed everything on the list to take with you into the cave."

Maya's face changed into a hopeful expression. "What?"

"She said she wasn't about to allow her student to be killed before she produced the promised heir. I'm sure you'll tell me what that means later."

Maya began to laugh. "I'm still nervous though."

"Surprise, you're normal! Any sane person…well any sane Terran woman would be scared to death of this. But now you've got some help, okay? Does it help any to know this?"

She smiled over at her. "Yes, it does. Thanks so much for being here for me the way you have. You're a great friend, Amanda. And I know I never like to tell people things like this, but I love you so much and you'll never know what your friendship has meant to me."

Amanda found herself tearing up for the third time that day. "Oh dammit, all I do is cry these days. What is wrong with me?"

Maya awoke two hours before sunrise. Her eyes snapped open as if she'd been physically shoved hard but she knew nothing had awakened her externally. But internally she could feel it. Sokam was calling for her. Somewhere not too far away he was chanting her name over and over again.

_Maya…Maya…Maya…My Maya…Come to me…Come to me…Come to me…Need…I NEED…Come to me… _Some part, some piece of who he was, was buried in there calling to her, desperate.

_Soon, Sokam…_

She felt him deliver the mental equivalent of a sharp intake of air, a hissing through the teeth of anticipation and open sexual need. And she could feel an answering call within herself. Next to the fear was her need for him. Was this a natural side-effect? Whatever it was, it still wasn't enough. The fear persisted in sitting on top of her.

She forced herself out of bed, showered and then made herself ready for the day to come. She was still afraid, but she had resigned herself to this. She knew that this day would come. And here it was. It was no time to back down. Maya planted her feet firmly on the ground and pushed herself forward and through the fear.

Right before she departed to the ceremony, T'Niye arrived to speak with her. "Remember all that I have imparted about today, my student."

Maya didn't know how she could forget. Everything had been melded into her the night before. She was not at all feeling confident about being stuck in a cave with a sexual maniac for days on end. But at least they'd taken care of things so she could restrain him at some point. "I will remember," was all she answered. Her brand of humor was most likely inappropriate and would probably go over T'Niye's head anyhow so there was no use wasting it.

T'Niye pulled out, of all things, her healer's bag. "I have obtained some things suggested by Lady Amanda. It was most logical of her to apprise me of your possible needs."

She smiled. "That's Amanda. She's always thinking ahead."

"The initial application of these sub-dermal dosing devices will cause a mild amount of pain. But they will be invaluable to you."

"Sub-dermal dosing devices?"

"Instead of continually injecting yourself you will have timed releases for the next several days of Triple Oxygen Compound. You will also have an analgesic that will only engage when you are wounded and in addition to that, you will receive an energy dose that will only release once a day toward the middle of the day when it will be most necessary for you. It will enable you to return to a state of normalcy by the end of the day so that you may obtain sleep. Since he will be restrained, take the time to sleep when it is necessary, I implore you. And lastly, I was able to obtain and modify one of the Orion aphrodisiacs spoken of by Lady Amanda so that this experience will not traumatize my student."

"Wait a minute. One of? They make more than one?"

"They are Orions," was the straight-faced answer given back to her by the elder as she arranged her equipment.

Maya wanted to laugh. She found it about to start bubbling up in her throat. Instead, she turned and looked at the wall as if something on it were intensely curious. Once she got the urge under control, she turned back around and looked at T'Niye. "Okay. Let me have them."

Administering the time-release tech under her skin caused more than simply 'a mild amount of pain'. Maya found herself winching with each application. But she reminded herself that these things were about to make what was about to happen bearable.

On her way to the Kal-if-Fee site Maya felt the tri-ox kick in. She was suddenly able to breathe better than she had ever been able to since arriving on the planet. Despite her fear, she was able to think _I'm going to have to talk T'Niye into letting me keep this tech. One takes breathing for granted. I'm not giving __**this **__up again!_ She almost smiled but forced herself not to. Then she was overwhelmed by the mental image of her in court being arraigned by a very serious-faced Vulcan charging her with tech theft and she was almost overwhelmed with laughter. Oh no, not now! Not NOW!

She thought of the technique she used to use in college when she would get nervous and want to go on giggling fits before oral presentations. She looked ahead of herself at the guards and T'Niye being carried on the palanquin. There was a tiny spot on the carrying platform, perhaps a sign of how long the litter had been used for elders in her clan. She focused on that one spot and poured her mirth into it until her laughter eased. She took a deep breath, paid attention to the spot for a few moments more as she exhaled and then felt much more under control. She continued walking through the desert.

And then the aphrodisiac kicked in. She almost didn't feel like herself and tried her best not to focus on the feelings it brought up in her. Because if she did she would run ahead of T'Niye, grab Sokam and haul him into the cave ahead of her before the proper formalities took place.

Able to breathe better due to the tri-ox, getting there seemed to take no time at all. They arrived at the Kal-if-Fee grounds. She saw several people there, but recognized only Sarek, Amanda, Zurel and Demek. Amanda quickly winked once at her and Maya found herself close to smiling. She turned her head and put in a mental reminder to return the favor to Amanda in two years time.

As she continued walking onward she saw another woman seated there older than T'Niye. Maya recognized her face from the meld as the matriarch of T'Niye's clan. She did as she had been previously instructed, paused in her walking, turned to the woman and went down on one knee before her. She waited for the older woman to acknowledge her with one curt nod. She looked up at her and the older woman looked dignified, of course, but whatever else that look was, she didn't know. But the clan mother didn't just sit there. She leaned forward, put one hand to Maya's face on her psi points. The only words Maya could later use to describe the brief contact was 'deep approval'. Then she withdrew her hand, nodded and allowed Maya to continue on her way.

Sokam was standing there, looking as if he were in another world. T'Niye asked him the ritual question, "Do you burn, Sokam?" Instead of addressing his words to the elder as was proper, he instead looked straight at Maya with heated eyes as he struggled to answer, "My eyes are flame. My heart is flame." Maya found herself swallowing in anticipation as her eyes held his.

"Kal-if-Farr!" was called and the bells sounded. Sokam struck the gong one last time. Maya approached him with her extended two fingers stretched out to him. They made contact and she led him to the elder. It was as he had said; the sensation of heat and flame passed from him and into her…and due to the aphrodisiac coursing through her system it was sent back again. He suppressed a shudder of want as his face remained calm, but his breathing became obviously more labored.

T'Niye placed her fingers on both their heads at the same time at the correct points. She was more than satisfied. Their bond was strong. They both had much to learn, but if they persisted they would make it through. She nodded in approval as she allowed her hands to fall from their heads. "It is done."

Maya turned and did what T'Niye had instructed the night before. She walked ahead of Sokam but all his eyes saw was the inviting back and forth motion of her very round feminine hips. As the wedding party disbursed, he soon caught up to her, took her by the hand and pulled her forward to the correct cave as they both began to run.

####

T'Niye answered the communiqué. None other than T'Pau flashed up on her screen. "Councilmember," she addressed her neutrally.

"It has come to my attention that you have interfered in a decision I have made for my family," stated the matriarch and councilmember.

"That may be so," returned the future matriarch of her own clan. "However, what I have done has secured the future of my clan. My actions were not only logical, but legal. It was by the words you uttered, that the couple in question simply needed the sanction of an elder that things were carried out, truly, according to your specifications."

T'Pau's eyes flashed. "I do not find it logical that you have used this situation to make certain that I receive your displeasure for the females I confiscated from your hospital so long ago. Do not forget, they were necessary to the future of our people."

"If that were the case, they would not have been hidden for this long. And the irony that neither of the young men from your house has consented to receive one of those females, but have instead chosen they whom they wish, is not lost on me."

"Your words will be remembered this day."

"And so shall your actions be remembered, as well," T'Niye responded quickly. "You still have much to learn, young one. How will it be for those who discover how you have misused the females in cryogenic stasis by keeping them hidden while so many of our men died?"

T'Pau was smarting. This one referring to her as a 'young one' only because she was forty years her senior! "What the council will do as far as things within our jurisdiction is none of your concern. You were offered a seat and you did not accept it. That was your doing."

"I have observed that power for its own sake corrupts, T'Pau. I am certain you have learned that by now. Of course you have found a way to attach logic to that corruption."

"Your words have no meaning. But I notice you have found a way to attach logic to your interference in my family's affairs."

"Mark how you treat my student," warned T'Niye. "It will not go unnoticed by me or others. And be easy with the wife of Sarek. That will also not go unnoticed by our society since you have already given word that she has been accepted by you."

"You are enamored of Outworlders," accused T'Pau.

T'Niye knew this was supposed to be an insult. But she did not find it so. "Yes, it is logical to respect life regardless of where it originates. Is that not so? First and foremost I am a healer. I appreciate that you fully understand that that shall always be my true function."

T'Pau simply cut the connection without a departing word.


	38. The Past Comes Back

The Past Comes Back

Mariana settled into her job at the xenobiology clinic. Her duties were, at first, restricted to the section for Terran patients. As she caught up on her xenobiology she was allowed to attend, little by little, a few of the other races that spanned the Empire.

At the end of her first week there, she was on her way out of a patient's room when she heard a familiar voice. Her stomach jumped and her head turned. She saw a Vulcan doctor talking to someone in a lab coat. All she saw was the back of the other person's head. But she would know him anywhere, even if he wasn't facing her full-on. What was he doing here?

At that moment, he turned and she saw the unmistakable face of a Cardassian, one that she knew too well. Recognition dawned in his eyes and then his face almost hardened with determination. Her eyes then grew angry. Neither of them said a thing to the other. She simply turned on her heel and walked away.

####

Dana took advantage of her day off. She really didn't want to do this, but she felt she had to. She made her way to Sarek and Amanda's. If Amanda stayed angry with her for too long after hearing what she'd done, she didn't know how she was going to live that down.

Amanda knew something was wrong the moment she opened the door for Dana. "Hey, come inside," she said as welcoming as she could. Dana walked into the Common Room and she looked as if she were about to start crying. Amanda was even more alarmed since she knew that Dana would never shed tears in front of anyone. "Dana. What's wrong?" she asked as tears almost came to her own eyes. She'd become so sensitive lately!

Dana sat down hard on the couch. She sighed once, hard, and launched into speaking, "Amanda, if you never spoke to me again after what I have to tell you I couldn't blame you."

The other woman swallowed as she sat down opposite her friend. "What's wrong?"

Dana looked away from her, a lump in her throat. How was she supposed to tell her this? Then Sarek entered the room and she felt even worse. "Oh, please, no," she whispered.

"Dana, what has occurred?" asked Sarek, equally as troubled as Amanda since he knew Dana was not one given to such emotion.

Even so, she was still stringently keeping her tears in. "Please, don't hate me," she whispered as she tried lift her gaze but found she was unable to meet their eyes.

"What is it?" asked Amanda as her stomach dropped out from beneath her.

"My uncle," she said with one disgusted laugh. "Cassie's father, he threatened to go to the media and say that Sarek had something to do with Cassie's death."

Amanda gasped as her mouth flew open. "What?"

"Knowing him, he would have put a very scandalous spin on those accusations; made things out as they most certainly were not, dragged the ambassador's name through the mud in the worse ways possible. By the time the court of public opinion was done with him-" Dana sniffled, but still the tears were being held in. "I—I was given an ultimatum. Give up the books so that Cassie can be cleared of her Thought Crime posthumously. He wants to bury her with the family, in the family plot. She'll probably get her own mausoleum." She finally turned her eyes up to Amanda. "I couldn't let him…" She then looked up at Sarek. "I couldn't let your image be tarnished for a lie. Not like that."

"What are you saying, Dana?" asked Amanda.

She looked down at her hands rubbing nervously at her thighs. "It just came down to those books for a man's reputation. The media would have had a field day with it, and not just the Terran media, either." She paused again. "Please don't hate me," spilled from her lips again.

"Are you saying-" Amanda couldn't ask.

"She has given them up for the sake of my reputation, Amanda," Sarek filled in the thoughts she was refusing to give voice to.

Dana looked away as she completely lost face. One fat tear of grief spilled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. "I'm so sorry I betrayed you like this. I know how you felt about them…how we all felt about them. They were something pure and noble…something from before the Empire rose. Something we all agreed should survive no matter what. But I just couldn't let him do that to Sarek. So I betrayed everything I stand for and I caved and…" She looked exhausted, like she could no longer go on. She nodded and shrugged. "I know I'm no better than Cassie."

Amanda stood and went to Dana, knelt down in front of her. Her friend still refused to meet her eyes. "How could I see it that way, Dana?"

The stunning blonde turned her eyes down to her friend as realization dawned. "What?"

"How could I be angry with you for protecting my husband from a damaging scandal?"

"But we all agreed that we wouldn't give them up, no matter what. I was the one that knew how to get them back and I gave them to the Empire. The _Empire_! And now they're going to burn them, dispose of them for good. No one will ever have a chance to benefit from them. But Cassie will get her honorable burial! And I'm just like her now!"

Amanda grabbed Dana's hands. "No, Dana. No."

"You are to be trusted above so many others, Dana," said Sarek. "You have honor. And you have done something at great pain to yourself to protect the honor of not only myself, but of my house and my clan. And that is honor many people in our Empire will never possess, even amongst my own people."

Dana pulled her hands away from Amanda and buried her face in them as she nearly split herself apart on the inside keeping her tears contained. Amanda knew that Dana would be mortified for someone to see her, even like that, and turned to look at her husband. _Leave now, Sarek. She can't take the humiliation of you being in the room while she's like this._

He oddly understood and departed with haste as his wife sat next to her friend and hugged her.

####

Mariana left the clinic that day. She knew what was about to happen, but she walked into it anyway. It was time she confronted this.

Jhuleem was standing outside, waiting for her. "So this is where you've been hiding," the Cardassian nearly taunted as he walked up to her.

She looked up into his face and the familiar butterflies of the past were in her stomach. "I haven't been hiding, Jhuleem. I've been living my life out in the open."

"So you haven't been hiding from me?" he asked with semi-angry eyes.

"No! I have better things to do than to hide from you," she said with attitude.

"Oh, I see. So did you think I would just disappear into the darkness?"

"Why not? You're good at that!" she charged.

"Mariana!" he said, his feelings openly hurt. "You didn't defend me to your family. You listened to what they told you to do and just walked away from me. You didn't fight for us. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to handle that all on my own? It takes two to make something work, not just one!"

She was deflated then. She knew he was right. "I'm sorry," she whispered with a downcast shrug.

"Is that all you have to say?" he asked, angry all over again.

Two Vulcans walked past them. They delivered the best example of non-condemnatory looks of stark disapproval at such a public display of emotion without showing a thing on their faces. "Come with me," he suddenly said to her.

She stood there for second, paused. She wanted to go with him, so badly, and then again she did not. "What am I doing?" she whispered to herself. She then saw him extend his hand to her and his deep eyes, the pleading in them, melted her insides. She took his hand, followed him to his shuttle.

The two of them entered his shuttle and she saw it was a small four-seater. Even so, there was room even for his tall frame to stand fully upright. She let herself heave down into one of the seats and sighed tiredly. _When the chickens come home to roost they sometimes fry themselves_ she thought to herself.

He sat down directly across from her. "I've wondered for so long what I did that was so wrong?" he began. "You just- you just let them separate us. What did I do that was so wrong that you gave me up so quickly?"

She looked down into her lap, ashamed. A feeling was creeping up from her belly, like she was eight years old again. What did he do wrong? He wasn't Terran. That's what was 'wrong'. And her family couldn't handle it. And like the good little girl she was, the seventh child of a family with five sons, she'd buckled under the pressure. "No. The question is, what did I do wrong?" she admitted in a low voice.

"That night, I wanted so badly to come in there and take you away from them. But I knew I wouldn't be able to do that if that's not what you wanted," he said. "So I stayed away and waited for you to call me. But you never did."

She could hear the emotion in his voice and it almost undid her. She still loved him. She knew she loved him within days of meeting him. But she knew they could never be. They'd never even made it to an official relationship status. Her family inserted themselves all up into things when they got wind of how she felt about the man that worked in the lab as an exchange scientist to the hospital she worked at. It wasn't just the ER she'd run from. She was also running from him.

"I did run from you," she admitted as she finally looked over at him. She swallowed back her tears as she looked into the warm eyes she never thought she would see again. "I loved you so much and I never even told you. I was so worried about everyone else's opinion. And then there's that law on Terra Prime. I kept thinking about that and how I didn't want you to be hurt just for being with me. I didn't want you to get killed or for you to go to jail. The police could have killed you, no questions asked, for just touching a Terran female. So I decided you would never touch me. I would never let me be the reason you died."

He was across the shuttle instantly, next to her, searching her eyes and face. "Mariana, do you mean it? Is that the reason you just disappeared on me?"

She nodded. "I don't know who you're with now, but I owe you the truth for making you so miserable. I could never talk to anyone else without thinking about you, ever since then. It was always you. No one else measured up. No matter how I tried to forget, you were always there in my mind."

"So you never found another Terran to hold a candle to me?" he said with a slight smile.

"No," she said as she laughed. "Does that make you feel better that I've been just as miserable without you?"

He nodded. "Yes."

And they both laughed. She looked down at her hands. Finally, this part of her life would be resolved. Maybe she could feel a lot less guilty and move on. But she looked up at his face and fell into the dark comfort of his eyes. She would always want him. She reached up tentatively and touched his skin. It was so much softer than it looked. His eyes closed as she touched his face. He took her hand, gently kissed her palm. "Do you still love me?" he asked as his eyes opened and met hers.

She swallowed. She knew she was opening herself up to be hurt by him. But if that's what he did she felt it was what she probably deserved. "Yes," she admitted.

"And I've never forgotten you, either," he said. "I came here to try and get as far away from you as possible to run into you again here," he laughed. His face was close to hers then. "But I still love you," he whispered.

She always wondered what it would be like to kiss him. At one time it was a fascination, a question of what would it be like to kiss a Cardassian? And then one day it wasn't about kissing a Cardassian, it was about kissing Jhuleem. But she'd never found that out. She wasn't on Terra Prime anymore. And she didn't have to worry about him being arrested for touching her or being seen touching her. She reached up and tentatively brushed her lips against his.

He wouldn't let her pull away so easily, though. He took her face in both of his hands, pulled her lips back to his gently, kissed her the way he'd been wanting to since the day they had met. "Yes, I still love you," he whispered. "And I don't belong to anyone else but you, still."

She rubbed her face against his, saw what it was like to finally be this close to him. How was she going to walk away from him now? "I can't leave you again," she answered her own question.

"I'm not asking you to," he whispered. "Please don't leave me again," he begged.

She put her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. It was the most the two had ever done in the past, hugged. He'd smelled so good back then and he still did now. No, she wasn't letting him go again. She didn't care what anyone else thought this time, either. "I'm not leaving you. This time I'm not strong enough to walk away."

"And this time I won't let you walk away," he promised.

_I'm feeling much better now! Since I had to restrain myself from writing for this story so much, I've gone on a real writing stretch since I've started feeling so much better. I'm looking at possibly updating several more times this week, but only if anyone else is even interested in having that many updates at a time. I'm also sorry this chapter is so short, but it felt right to end it here. - J.S._


	39. The Fuel of Anger

The Fuel of Anger

Amanda knew only one thing so far. Maya had survived. She breathed a sigh of relief once she was aware of that fact. She assumed Maya might need some time to recover from everything that had happened, so she decided to give her friend some space. An entire week went by and Amanda grew more and more worried. Why hadn't she called yet?

On Amanda's day off her friend suddenly showed up on her doorstep. "Maya!" she said, almost shocked but so glad to see her.

But her friend looked just a little bit sad…and very pissed off. "Can I spend the night here?" she asked, flat out.

Amanda's eyes widened. What the heck had happened between her and Sokam? "Where's your husband?"

"Who gives a damn?" said Maya as she entered the residence.

As she entered, Amanda saw her friend was carrying a travel bag. "Maya, what happened?"

Maya began to walk to her old room quickly, Amanda following close behind. "I just…I just…" She opened the door, dropped her bag on the floor and plopped down on her old bed. "Amanda, I just need to figure some things out."

She closed the door, still terribly confused. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Maya's eyes clouded over with angry tears that she could barely hold in. "I'm so freaking humiliated!"

Amanda's face instantly turned wrathful. She knew it took a whole lot to get a woman like Maya this angry. What the hell had Sokam done to her? "Am I going to have to kick your husband in the balls while wearing a pair of your stiletto heels?"

Maya began laughing through her tears at the mental picture. "His balls? I need those!" Then her face hardened. "Because I'm planning on having them made into earrings."

Amanda cringed. "Ouch. All right, so your husband has done-"

"You think you save a man's life and he'd be, I don't know, grateful or something? Do you know _what happened to me_?"

Amanda swallowed. She didn't want to know but she had a feeling Maya was about to tell her.

"Cuts and bite marks, all over my body; scrapes up and down my back, front and sides from that damned cave. Who the _hell_ thought having this event go down in a cave was a good idea, anyway? One cracked rib, one broken rib, lacerations due to trauma to my nether region including, but not isolated to one torn perineum; scraped knees, rope burn on my ass—don't ask! A UTI to end all UTIs; a hairline fracture of my ankle and THREE—BROKEN—TOES!" Maya was good and angry after her rundown of post-Pon Farr injuries.

She continued, "I don't need a parade. I don't need a serenade or anything like that. I haven't even asked the bastard to tell me he loves me because I know they don't _do_ that! But you know what? A woman goes through that, a Terran woman who should have died maybe, and when she gets _ignored_ for the next few days afterward it just pisses me the hell _OFF_!"

"What do you mean ignored?" asked Amanda.

"Well he's gotten what he needs, right, another seven years of life? And it's time for him to meditate to get back to normalcy again so he can start school with a clean slate in a few days. I get that, that's fine. I was okay with that! I wouldn't have minded if he needed a little space because frankly I needed some too at first. But dammit, I'm not something you can use and then just ignore. I'm supposed to be his _wife_! I walked through the fire for that man and he-"

She began pacing back and forth as her face fell. Angry tears flowed down her face as she raged, "Well fine then! Close the bond so I can't hear your thoughts! Don't talk to me each time I try to talk to you! Tell me it was a mistake to allow me to marry you!" She sank down on the bed, tears overwhelming her. "Amanda, how the hell could this have happened? What the hell did I do to myself?"

"What did he say when you left?" she asked.

Maya snorted through her tears. "I left while he was out. I need some time and space to figure this out, you know? I need to think straight. And staying with him, being ignored by him this way…no, I'm not doing it anymore."

She asked the question she dreaded the most. "What do you plan on doing?"

Maya sniffed tentatively. "I have an interview tomorrow. One of my old teachers on Terra Prime whose always been there when I need her, I called her to see if she had any leads and she gave me the heads-up on a museum here that's getting the exact replicas of several ancient Egyptian sites one of which is going to be the official replica of Tutankhamun's tomb. I have to take a test, a long test, tomorrow and I could not be in that house with that man and go to the test tomorrow and do well, you know what I mean? I needed some peace and quiet and some time to think."

"Well you've got that here," Amanda assured her.

Maya's tears were pretty much gone as she nodded. "Thank you. I hope Sarek doesn't mind."

Amanda smiled. "You're still his ward." She was nervous as she asked, "Do you think you and Sokam are going to-" she was afraid to ask.

"Break up?" asked Maya.

"Yes," she answered while swallowing back her own tears.

She laughed out loud. "Not if I can help it. He just needs to learn how to treat me, that's all. And I'm not putting up with this type of treatment anymore. I'm not going to break up with him for good. We're married and that's it now."

Amanda thought of what Patricia Stavriotis had told her that day about her husband after his Pon Farr. "Maya, maybe Sokam's ashamed of the way he lost control. Maybe he just can't face you right now. Maybe he hates himself just a little bit."

She swallowed back another round of tears. "I get that. I know. But the least he could do is _tell me_. Do you know what it feels like to have the bond shut on you? After going through such an intimate experience with someone…"

_They ran into the mouth of the cave. He was just at her heels and immediately seized her body from behind. She was getting scraped up against the rock face as he lifted the back of her dress and drove himself into her roughly._

_The aphrodisiac in her system caused it to become the most erotic experience she'd had with him up to that point. And the next few days were just as intense, out of control, violent. She enjoyed every minute of it…_

Maya pulled herself back to the present and her breath returned to her. "Are you all right?" asked Amanda.

She smiled nervously. "I keep getting these flashbacks from it…from the time in the cave."

"Was it...bad?" asked Amanda nervously.

Maya looked at her friend and smiled. "No. Thanks to your intervention T'Niye was able to set me up with some neat little pieces of time-released tech that made it more than bearable. It made it enjoyable, actually." She looked down at her hands and admitted, "I—I loved him, lusted for him so much during it, after it. I don't know whether or not it would have been the same without the interventions. So for him to turn around and shut down the bond on his end…it hurts so much, that's all. I'm just hurt. I'll eventually get over it. I just need to get on with my life until he figures out how to treat his wife. But until then, I'm not going to be around for him."

Amanda sighed tiredly. Now she had to break this news to Sarek.

####

He hadn't said a word since she told him that Maya was going to stay with them for the night, but she could read him through their bond. He was not pleased at all with Sokam.

Maya returned to their home the next day with a beaming face full of triumph. "I got it!" she declared to Amanda as soon as she opened the door.

"What?" said Amanda, excited.

"I got the freaking job! I took the test along with four other Terrans that were there and I passed my test with the highest scores. I got the museum job!"

The two ladies hugged each other and jumped up and down screaming. Sarek practically ran from his office and his alarm ceased once he saw his wife and his ward embracing and rejoicing. "You have positive news?" he asked.

"I got the job, Sarek!" said Maya. "You are looking at the Shi'Kahr Museum's new assistant curator in the Terran section of the museum for translations connected to Ancient Egypt. I'm in charge of everything having to do with the hieroglyphics for now. I might get more responsibility as time goes on, though. But as a result of getting this gig my admission to Cairo University is now verified and I am set to restart my education when this job is done in two years! I can do it online, I found out, so there's that right there. One other Terran and I was hired today."

Sarek's curiosity was piqued. "Exactly what was on this test, Maya?"

She sighed as she sat down on the couch and thought about it. "It was tough. Let's see…" She looked up as she remembered and began counting everything off on her fingers one by one. "Safe dig practices, hieroglyphic translation, Ancient Egyptian history. The language section had intermediate French, German, Greek, Egyptian and Arabic…my German sucks and my Greek is so-so but I muddled through those parts the best I could. I'm going to have to brush up on that before I go back to school. But at least I can read the glyphs and that's the important thing for the position I've got."

Both Sarek and Amanda just stared at her. "Congratulations," said Sarek.

"Thanks?" she said, wondering why they were looking at her that way. "If you will excuse me! I'm going to go call Dana and Mariana and let them know what happened. I've got a _**job**_!" she said as she excitedly rushed out of the room.

"And T'Pau attempted to discard such a mind from the family," he said with a nod of disbelief.

####

A call came into the house that evening and Amanda answered it. She saw who it was and her expression chilled as she looked at his face. "Sokam," she said to him with a civil but cold tone.

"Amanda, I wish to speak with my wife," he said without preamble.

"She's not here right now."

He looked nonplussed. It was the most emotional control he'd had in years. "As soon as she arrives, inform her that I wish to speak with her at her earliest convenience." Amanda nodded curtly at him and then cut the connection.

Maya returned an hour later. She'd gone to dinner at Shin and Zurel's. She was smiling. "The guys made me an impromptu dinner in honor of my new job."

"Um…Sokam called."

She looked up at the ceiling in exasperation. "I already spoke to him last night and earlier this morning."

"What happened? What did he say?" asked Amanda.

She shrugged. "I already told him that I'd had it with the way I was being treated and it's not my job to take that crap. So get to this part. He _informed_ me last night, 'you have exactly one day to return to our residence'." She snorted. "Yeah right, whatever."

Amanda wanted to laugh, too. "These Vulcans and their precise words."

She sighed. "I'm not ready to go home yet. Is it okay if I stay another night?" asked Maya.

"You're always welcome here, Maya."

"Thanks," she said as she hugged her friend and then dashed off to her room. "I have orientation tomorrow so I have to get some sleep!"

It was also going to be a workday for Amanda. But as for Sarek, he would be hearing from the council chambers with their decision on his words from nearly two weeks before.

####

Maya was winding down into a comfortable level of sleep when her comm went off. She picked it up without thinking and answered it. "Yeah," she said groggily.

"I see I have interrupted your rest cycle," said the very familiar voice.

She held up her comm and looked at the precise face of her husband. She wanted to put a fist through her comm as she sat up, wide awake. "What do youwant?"

"You were supposed to return to me by the end of this evening," he reminded her.

She sighed. "Sokam, it's not that easy. I just don't…I don't want to see you right now, okay?"

He frowned. "That is not logical Maya. You wished to speak with me the day before yesterday and many days before that. Now you no longer wish to speak with me? That is not rational."

"No, YOU didn't want to speak with ME. YOU told me I should not have married you, that you were the wrong man for me. So therefore, you no longer get to dictate when we speak, when we see one another…you're not my _boss_!"

"I see your fatigue is interfering with your mood. Take rest and we will speak tomorrow," he said.

"No, we will not. I have orientation for my new job so I won't have the time."

Sokam saw that Maya was very angry with him. He swallowed. Had he lost her for good? "Am I to assume you are in need of a length of time away from me in order to decide what you wish to do?"

She was angry with him, but also hurt. Why wasn't he fighting as hard for her as she had fought for him? "Yes. I need some time."

"I will give you that time. However," his eyes almost traveled through the screen, "when I deem it appropriate I will come to reclaim you. Need I remind you that you belong to me?"

She felt desire go through her and was angry with herself for being so vulnerable to him. "And I will go with you only when _I_ am satisfied that you've learned that you can't _tell_ your wife what to do and you've learned how to treat me better."

His eyebrow rose. "Am I to interpret from that sentence that you find my treatment of you lately to be substandard?"

Maya was so angry she pressed the button and shut down the connection between the two of them. She then felt him trying to access their bond, but she shut down her half. _See how HE likes it!_

She was slightly ashamed of herself as she drifted off to sleep. But she had to acknowledge that if she set eyes on Sokam at that very moment she might try to put her fist through his eye. And even if she did think it might make her feel better, she knew that would be just plain wrong.

_Sorry this chapter was also quite short. I have to admit, there's only about five chapters left on this story. The chapters after this one get kind of long, though, because there is still much to wrap up and then the story is pretty much spent. I am considering doing a separate short 'drabbles' sequence for some of the stuff that didn't fit into this story, but I have no idea at this point if I will._ - J.S.


	40. The Word of the Council

_Special congratulations to jackiemack916 for being my 150th reviewer!_

The Word of the Council

Sarek received a communiqué from the council early the next morning. It was approximately two weeks after his address to them. He paused but a fraction of a second before opening it. At the worst, he would be denounced as one who meddled in their affairs; at best, his words had had some effect that produced at least one positive change. He hoped that positive change was at least the cessation of the misuse of the Terran females.

He forced himself not to stall, pushed the button and there sat T'Pau in her message to him. "Sarek, your words and their underlying logic have been weighed by the council. They have been found to be quite logical in all areas and changes will be put into effect as a result.

"It has come to the attention of the full council that Vulcan females have been found in cryogenic stasis. These females have been marked as having been 'misplaced' during the time of the plague. Many important officials having to do with their care were lost during and after that time and as a result these females were, in effect, lost from memory. However the situation has been brought to our attention by the very efficient agency of the V'Shar. All twenty thousand females will be reawakened, slowly, cured and returned to their families and our society.

"As for the first Terran/Vulcan pairings due to the shortage of availability of our females, it has been deemed logical by the council that these pairings occurred for the express purpose of preservation of life. There are currently four of these unions on record. According to the intelligence report of the V'Shar a fifth of these marriages is soon to occur for one by the name of Turan and a Terran by the name of Dana Philo. Turan is of no house and has no family. It is suspected, though not confirmed, that he is most likely the product of not only an unsanctioned union but quite possibly the result of a V'Tosh Ka'tur family who sent him to the Syrranites to raise upon birth. He has neglected, so far, to allow a genetic scanning to be done of him to determine who his true family is. Given the state of his status in our society of having no house, there would be no Vulcan female's family who would receive him as a mate for one of their daughters and it is logical for him to seek a mate outside of his people. These five marriages are the only that shall be sanctioned and given free reproductive rights.

"As for the other males among us who find it necessary to leave our world to obtain wives or who decide to remain with the wives they choose from among the Terran females, they shall be allowed to do so. Their bonds shall be seen as legitimate to all, however they will receive no reproductive assistance unless conception occurs naturally.

"As for the usage of the Terran female prisoners, projections of statistics were put forth to our experts and they have concluded that there is a high probably that your suspicion is true that the Empire would use this issue to betray us in future. Therefore it has been concluded that usage of all Terran females for our males in need during their Time shall cease and desist as of midnight this day." The communication ended and at first Sarek's eyes simply blinked as he stared at the blank screen.

He then stood quickly and rushed to where his sleeping wife lay. "Amanda."

She turned over, quite groggy, to see Sarek's face. In their bond, she could feel the stirring of his excitement pulsing through his consciousness. It zapped her awake quickly and she sat bolt upright. "What's happened?"

"The Council has spoken. It is decided. The Terran females will no longer be misused, Amanda, as of midnight this day."

Her hands flew to her mouth as she gasped. "What?"

He knew that this was what was called a rhetorical question and that he should not repeat what he had just stated. Instead, he continued, "Furthermore, the Vulcan females in cryogenic stasis will be awakened and returned to their families."

She was more than impressed with him. "Sarek, you did it!" She threw her arms around him, breathless, shocked.

"It had to have been the V'Shar. They must have let the council know they would not support the situation with the females remaining hidden. And the statisticians were the ones who calculated the probably of the Empire using the issue of the Terran females to attack us, in future. The council has decided to rectify the situation first so there can be no fuel for such an attack."

She looked at him and tried to shake him but of course his bone structure and musculature were so dense she couldn't. "You still did it! You were the one that went to them and convinced them to do all of these things. And I have to give credit to Demek, too, for pushing the V'Shar to do their jobs on that other issue to the point that he almost got himself killed. You're both my heroes!" she joked.

"I shall call Demek this instant and apprise him of what has been decided, though I suspect Sumar has most likely already done so."

####

Demek visited Sarek that morning. Both Amanda and Maya were in the Common Room soon to be on their way out of the house to their respective places of employment.

"Young lady," said Demek as he faced Maya, "Congratulations are in order."

"You mean on my new job? Thanks!"

He looked taken aback. "On that, as well."

"As well?" asked Maya.

Sarek felt the need to interject, "You have secured T'Niye as a teacher. That is a very important accomplishment."

"And," added Amanda, "you've already got a marriage lined up for your first unborn child."

Demek's eyebrow rose exponentially. "This, too, was apart of your deal?"

Maya felt like falling into the ground. Three sets of eyes were on her as she blushed deeply. "Yes," she said quickly.

"It is an important alliance, not one to be seen lightly," lectured Sarek. He knew Maya still did not understand what the true deal was.

Amanda wanted to spare her friend the embarrassment she knew she was feeling. "Come on, girl, we have to get to work," said Amanda.

As the two left quickly, Demek asked Sarek, "Does she yet realize what this means?"

"You have not heard the whole of it," said Sarek.

"There is more?"

"T'Niye has deemed that Maya's child, male or female, will marry one of her direct descendants."

Demek found himself needing to sit down with that news. "Does T'Pau yet know of this?"

Sarek also sat opposite him. "She shall soon find out, as well as everything else that has been kept a secret."

Demek's eyebrow rose. "Such as?"

Sarek sighed. "Maya has managed to maneuver herself into becoming the student of the next clan mother of her family. That we already know. But T'Niye herself was the one who discovered Maya's alien DNA. Maya shall live long."

"Longer than the Terran life span?"

"Yes. Perhaps, T'Niye has revealed, even longer than the Vulcan life span."

Demek sat up quickly. "The young woman does not realize the extent of the deal she has made for her female child or female grandchild."

"No, she does not. And for her own reasons, T'Niye has not yet revealed this to her."

"The healer has indeed found a way to punish T'Pau for her hand in the hidden females in cryostasis. When one considers that so many lives were lost that need not have been, I understand the reasons behind her wishing to do so."

The two men sat and said not another word on that subject. "What shall be done with the prisoners now?" asked Sarek. He'd been more than satisfied with the verdict, but he was now curious over what would happen next?

"For the Syrranite side, the solution was quite simple. The Terran females who served a male had only served that one male. He may decide to keep her or not as his legal wife. If he does not wish it, the bond will be dissolved from both sides. Even more controversial, her memory of the incident that led to their bond will be wiped."

Sarek was only halfway surprised. "Indeed?"

"Indeed. The V'Shar insisted that this was the only proper way to proceed. No trace can be left of what has happened so that the Empire can use nothing against us in future. The Terran females that have remained unused on our side of the dividing line, the ones who had no concept of what was about to happen to them, they will be retried by us and given a true sentence instead of simply the stamp of 'life'. They will serve out the sentence given them by us, if indeed there is a sentence, and then allowed to go free wherever they wish, however they will not be able to return to Terra Prime until the Terra authorities themselves find reason to retract the sentence of Thought Crime."

"And the V'Tosh Ka'tur?"

Demek looked only slightly perplexed. "Yes. That part of the world has made the situation…troublesome. Of the Terran females still unused and clueless as to what their true fate could have been the V'Tosh ka'tur feel they do not wish to keep anything unnecessary that will consume their already limited resources. Therefore the Terran females that are unused will either be released immediately and told to leave Vulcan as soon as they exit their penal system since they do not care where they shall go, or the ones with no resources may come to the Syrranite side and stand trial again just as the Terran females on this side will have done."

"And what of the females who have not been so fortunate to remain 'unused' on the V'Tosh Ka'tur side?"

His facial control was impeccable and did not betray the pain of what he needed to convey. "The Terran females on the other side of the planet fortunate enough to have gone through only one male's Time will be handed over to the Syrranites. She will be treated and her memory of the incident wiped."

"And her bond?"

"There is a policy to strip the bond immediately on the other side of our world so that the female may be ready that much quicker the next time around."

"What has become of those females used so callously so many times?" asked Sarek almost openly shocked.

Demek nodded once in the negative. "I have seen them, Sarek. They are…seemingly soulless, lifeless, internally and externally used beyond repair. They shy away from all things male regardless of age or race. It is a shame that we may never recover from and neither shall they."

Sarek felt the sharp stab of regret in his side for what his people had done. He had said in his monologue to the council that this shame was collective. The full meaning of his words struck home with him then. This shame was truly collective. "The Syrranites will take these females? Help them?"

"They shall attempt to do so."

####

Sarek was exiting meditation when his eyes opened. All he saw was the inviting legs of his wife passing by- and the rest of her in the barest of undergarments. To have only just settled his emotions to have them come to life so easily, he was reaching out and grabbing at her without thought.

"Sarek!" she said, shocked. She didn't know he had exited meditation.

"What do you play with me, wife, to go past in such an inviting way?" he asked as he pulled her close to him and down into his lap.

She smiled up into his face as her arms settled around him. "I didn't do it on purpose, you know."

"Do you make it a habit to pass me in various states of undress while I am in a state of meditation?"

"Well your eyes are closed, so unless you come-to while I'm passing by again I guess you'll never know," she teased as she tried to stand. But his hands held her fast to his lap. She sighed. "I had something on my mind, okay? So I didn't get into the shower as quickly as I was supposed to."

"What is this matter that was so close to your mind that you failed to remember the consequences of straying too close to your husband in such a state of undress?" he asked as he began to lay his wife out on their bedroom floor.

She looked up at him and teased. "You are SO predictable! I can't even walk by in my underwear, can I?"

"No," he admitted as he gave her his most playful serious-faced look. But he had paused in attempting to seduce her for the moment. "Your thoughts, Amanda?"

"Oh, nothing really, just matchmaking."

He frowned. "Matchmaking?"

"Yeah, you know, setting people up," she said as she looked up at him eagerly.

He was perplexed. "What reason do you suppose to take up a future in matchmaking? Your vocation is 'schoolteacher'."

"I know, I know," she said, eyes excited. "But like, take Demek, he's still a widower. Why?"

"Because he has his reasons to continue to be a widower. Is there some reason you have decided to attempt to end his widower state?"

"Well he seems lonely for female company and he's up there in age and T'Niye is up there in age-"

Sarek felt the beginnings of amusement trying to rise within him. "Amanda."

She could sense his state of amusement and knew it was the closest he would ever come to laughing out loud. "What is so funny?" she asked, a little outraged. "What is so wrong with that couple? They would be cute together."

"It is not possible, or proper, for the two of them to bond."

"May I ask why not?" she challenged.

"His mother was a member of T'Niye's clan. He is, though distantly, directly related to T'Niye, her clan mother and half the women in her clan."

Amanda frowned, horrified. "Ew! Did I just try to broker an incestuous union? I think I feel a little queasy right now!"

"It is an easy mistake for one who is unfamiliar-"

His words were cut off by a slight tremor in the ground beneath them and then it was gone. "What the—!" Amanda's strength was unknown to herself until that moment. She shoved Sarek off of her so quickly and then stood, her head was actually spinning. "Was that an earthquake?" she asked, panicked.

He stood, his amusement growing. "It was simply a tremor."

Her eyes were wide. "Well what in the….why you are you so calm?" she accused.

"The Watcher is settling into its closest orbit near us and the tremors are a natural side effect of that orbit. They will increase in force and duration for perhaps the next few weeks and then lessen and finally cease as the planet moves away from us again for the next few years."

She swallowed nervously. "They never mentioned that little fact in the textbooks," she almost snapped at him.

He pulled his wife close and looked down into her eyes. Her fear was beginning to pass. "I will make certain to keep you close," he said in a low tone.

She sensed he was teasing her, but she didn't mind so much at that moment. Of course they wound up in bed together for the night, and not simply to sleep, either.

Afterward, Sarek watched his sleeping wife. He found it a calming thing for him to engage in, almost as calming as his meditations. To watch her in slumber, especially after exhausting her in the way in which it had become more than simply duty for him to fulfill…

He needed her. She was the part of his life that could temporarily blot out the blackness of the world around them. She did not know what Demek had told him that morning after she had departed for work. He had told her all else, but this she did not know…

"Demek! Tell me this conclusion is unfounded, for it is _improper_."

He would have reminded Sarek that his requests were illogical. But the piece of news he had imparted was so cold, so harsh. "I truly do wish in this instance that we may indulge in illogical fancies. But we cannot. The truth must be told. Sumar's division uncovered it themselves. Apparently this plot to keep the females hidden was known solely by the Syrranites and T'Pau was the leader, the one who conceived of the plan in its original form."

This piece of information was not what had put Sarek into a crisis of thought about his clan mother. What he was failing to assimilate was the true reason as to why they- why _she_ had found it necessary to do what had been done. "And she did this simply so that the V'Tosh Ka'tur would decline?"

"It is believed that due to the lack of single females on their side since the canister that detonated was on their side and they suffered a large part of the female losses, the Syrranites had the conjecture that the rival faction of our world would diminish in number sooner rather than later. As it is, it was already projected that due to voluntary conversions of not only individuals, but entire households, within thirty years the V'Tosh Ka'tur would shrink to less than a quarter of the planet's population. But since the virus killed many of their females, and now with the removal of the Terran females to keep even a fraction of their males alive during their Time, the projections have changed drastically. Not only will their philosophy be extinct in approximately the next fifteen to twenty years since more of them have been voluntarily converting-"

"But now she has collateral in the form of females in stasis. Those who convert will have a wife waiting and those who do not-"

"Will die," he finished.

Sarek realized then, it was the reason T'Pau and the council had given in so easily about the Terran female situation. She had her 'ace in the hole' as one of his Terran friends used to say. He was almost dizzy as he thought of the ramifications of everything that had happened and that would happen, still, yet.

"There is also the last conclusion that has been made by Sumar's division," continued Demek. Sarek already suspected what it was, but let the elder male say it anyway. "They believe that when the number of V'Tosh Ka'tur reaches a small enough number, reforms will be called for to unify us by the by then all Syrranite council. The last of the minority faction will then most likely give in and convert. The very few who are left even after that will be seen as divisive and they will most likely be exiled from the planet."

"Quite logical," he admitted. "And one thing my clan mother has always been is…logical."

"Flawlessly logical," agreed Demek.


	41. Promises, Promises

Promises, Promises

Amanda saw Zurel outside the next evening, his eyes on The Watcher. "Hey, what are you doing out here?" she asked with a smile.

"_T'Sai_," he greeted her. "I was not aware you were still awake."

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted. "Where's Shin?"

"He is asleep. Since Maya is here, he is still here."

"It must be great to have your old partner back." Zurel didn't answer that so she knew that that sentiment must be true. Even he, with his familiarity with Terran ways, would never venture to admit something so personal as having missed a friend. Then she had to know, "Zurel, I don't know anything about you. I met you years ago at the embassy and…that's pretty much everything. I mean I know you like to cook, you play great 4-d chess and you're an excellent guard. But do you have a family? I don't ever see anyone coming to visit you, you never take any time off. If you need time off to see them of course we'd give it to you."

Zurel at first said nothing. One would assume he was not going to admit to anything and then suddenly, "I am outcast, Amanda," flew from his lips.

She tried not to, but a gasp popped out of her. "But you're not like-"

"No, I am not outcast from my family. I am- was an illegitimate birth. I am unfit to obtain a mate."

Amanda was confused. "I could have sworn you had a bond mate at some point. I remember when I first started working at the embassy you mentioned her in passing."

Once again, a long silence stretched out between them. "You are the wife of he who has shown me mercy, even against the wishes of T'Pau. So I will speak truth with you this evening. She who was my bond mate was removed from me when the situation here became desperate."

Amanda was even more confused. "They can't just strip someone's bond like that, can they?"

"If you are not in possession of any clan or any form of protection, yes, they can. She was removed and I was left with nothing. She was not supposed to have bonded herself to me. But she did. And now she is someone else's."

Amanda found she needed to sit down, so she sat in the sand. This was breaking her heart. But Zurel was the one that had gone through it. What must it have done to him? "Zurel, I am so sorry that you went through that."

He looked down at her and his eyes were hard in the moonlight. He crouched down to a squatting position as he lowered his voice and spoke openly with her. "It was enough, for a time, for me to question the wisdom of remaining a follower of Surak. But I stayed the course and I have continued on the True Path. It would not have been logical to leave it simply because those who claim to be on the path are truly not."

"You are more logical and right in your course and more deserving of a bond mate than any other Syrranite I know," she admitted. "What will you do when- What will you do?" She knew she couldn't come out and directly ask him what she wanted to know. That would have been blatantly improper. As it was, she knew she was skirting the line. But this man had become such a close friend and she had known him for so long.

"The males in my father's line, though I have gone unacknowledged, are notoriously late starters, if you understand my meaning. I have years, yet, to correct my predicament."

"And if you cannot?" she asked.

"I have contemplated the logic of how things are. And it would be right and proper of me to end my life in an honorable fashion, to walk into the desert at the height of a sandstorm and perish in that way."

She hadn't seen that one coming. "You're talking about suicide!"

"Lady Amanda, I understand you are distressed at the thought of losing your guard-"

"Damn that, Zurel, you're one of the most decent men I know!"

"If we are to be fully logical it must be acknowledged that my birth was an improper event and should not have occurred. It is only right that I go into the future and remove my name from the annals of time and have no offspring."

"Is that why you never came out and asked Mariana to consider you? You thought you didn't deserve to settle down with someone?"

"It would not have been correct to allow my improper existence to extend beyond myself. A woman such as Mariana would have perhaps wanted children and that I cannot do. My bond mate…the one I lost, she had agreed not to produce children with me. As for Mariana, both she and I are still caught in the past of memories about those who came before. At least she was able to retrieve hers and for that I am satisfied for her. It is not possible, however, for me to do the same."

She nodded angrily. "No, it isn't right. The sins of the father should not be visited upon the son!"

He admitted, "Lady, you are Terran and this is a Vulcan matter. You simply cannot understand this."

"There's one thing I do understand. The man who is one of the best men I've ever met is going to let himself go out of existence voluntarily. No, I can't accept that and I won't let you accept it either."

"What is it you can do for me, lady?"

"I'll find you a wife, Zurel, all right? There's got to be a way."

He looked away from her and back up at The Watcher. "I may hold you to that someday when biology calls and strips me of logic and demand that I do what is necessary to live. I am spared this year. And I will be spared a few more. But I estimate that by the next time the Watcher graces our skies I may be out of time."

####

Sokam arrived home that day. His wife had still not returned to him. He at first attempted to tell himself that it was of no consequence, but then decided it was useless to lie, even to his self. He would be forced to retrieve her when the absence of her became unbearable. But it was imperative that he put her in the proper place within his thoughts. He was aware that he needed her too much.

After the blood fever cooled, he thought he would have better possession of everything within his mind. And he had. But that one aspect of himself, his bond with her, was active, alive, called to him constantly. His blood fever had since cooled, but he still burned for her. He knew it could not be logical or proper for him to have such volatile emotions concerning even she who was his wife.

He had done the only thing he thought would salvage his control. He closed off the bond between the two of them, told himself it was only temporary. He would purge this relentless need first and only when it was under firm control would he go and reclaim her. If, in the meantime, she decided to return to him- which was her duty -he would certainly accept her back. But having her away from him helped him get himself under better control where she was concerned.

It did distress him, on some deeper level, that she had quit their home, would no longer accept his calls and would not even call him. He knew he must be hurting her and he was already regretting that. But he needed to control himself so at no time would he accidently harm her physically, though he knew that most likely he could not have hurt her again any worse than he had during his Time. He turned from a fresh stab of shame at the battered way his wife had looked when the fever cleared and he saw the injuries he had inflicted upon her while they were still untreated…and the look of love in her eyes for him despite those injuries.

His comm engaged and he activated it. That still untamed part of himself betrayed him yet again, because he hoped it was his Maya calling to speak with him. But it was not. His face hardened at the person on his screen. "Agent Stilen. For what reason do you find it necessary to contact me?" This man was still a threat to his Maya.

The eyes of the V'Shar agent ran hot and cold simultaneously. "She who is your wife is no longer under your roof," the agent mentioned in a way that was just shy of taunting.

Sokam's face did not change or move in any way. But he felt the sleeping vestiges of his obsessive nature from the past beginning to stir and he could not stop it. "For what reason have you been watching my wife?" he kept his voice even.

"If you are unable to provide her with the bond mate she very much deserves it is only proper that you give her to one who would."

Sokam's next words were quieter than usual, but his eyes had also gone cold, colder even than the rival male on his screen. "If you see fit to cross anywhere within the path of she who is still very much mine or if she is harmed in some way by you or your actions, I will no longer adhere to the mores of logic pertaining to you as a person. It is only correct that I warn you that I will kill you quite efficiently. It would be within my right since you would have overstepped your bounds. Furthermore, in all honesty I would relish watching you die painfully. It is not logical, but it is true."

Agent Stilen had not expected such an honest response. He had been ready for a logical retort and so found himself completely off kilter. "You are in need of mental adjustment," he found himself saying.

"Do not toy with the mate of a male who is only just recovering from his Time. I am still within the danger zone hormonally since my levels have not yet regulated themselves. You would have no legal recourse should I attack you for attempting to take what is mine." His eyes then hardened, in addition to them already being cold as he stated, "In fact, I _invite_ you to attempt to take she who is mine." His eyes then held challenge within them. "I also offer you this generous concession. If at some point you grow weary of living, I can alleviate you of that burden."

Stilen contemplated his next move for only a split second. This was not the violently angry man on the cusp of Pon Farr he had encountered before. This man was a cold killer waiting for any excuse to slay him. "We shall see if she returns to you," was all he said.

Sokam simply cut the connection and said not another word.

####

"You don't understand, Turan, I can't do this anymore!" she shouted at him.

He was with her in her bedroom, leaning against her door, trying to prevent her from walking out on him. "Dana, I did not do so intentionally," he promised.

"How do you unintentionally have your hand stray to my face while you're supposedly _sleeping_?" she asked through clenched teeth. "You promised I would have the freedom to choose and next thing I know, you're trying to take that away from me!"

"Dana, I would never intentionally bind you to myself after having agreed to try to give you time to think about it first," he reminded her.

She sat down on her bed with a huff. "Then explain yourself to me. I opened my eyes and your face was in my face and your fingers were just connecting to my face. And your eyes were open, too, so you can't claim-"

"I have the ability to sleep with my eyes open, Dana."

She deflated when she heard that one. She knew he wasn't the type to lie. "Oh my goodness, you weren't kidding about your instincts engaging without your permission, were you?"

"I assumed since I was only attempting to obtain a brief amount of rest before my next shift that I would be better able to contain myself. It was a…miscalculation on my part. In short, I was wrong," he said as he moved away from the door and carefully sat next to her.

She also knew for him to admit so openly to being wrong was a testament to how close the two of them had become in such a short amount of time. And then she felt instantly guilty. "Oh, damn, I yelled at you and everything. This is not even your fault," she realized. "I wish I understood you better, but I don't."

"And I, you," he admitted. "But that desire, that drive to know she who I wish to be so close to on such a deeper level is all-encompassing for me. It is instinctual. The Vulcan male has a compulsion no one knows of, except the female who becomes intertwined in his life. We are driven by our deepest instincts to keep she who is ours as close as possible so that we may not lose her and therefore our lives."

She frowned. "What does losing me have to do with losing your life?"

For the first time ever he allowed an emotion free reign within him. Shame. "I- I find it difficult to speak of to you."

She saw his hesitation and became instantly nervous. What bothered him so much he didn't even want to speak with her about it? "If it's that bad you don't have to tell me."

He nodded quickly. "I must. If we remain together, someday you will have to deal with that shame."

"And when would that be?" she asked, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

"I do not know. I have never experienced it. But it happens to us all at some point."

He was only sitting next to her, but it was almost as if his discomfort with the topic was jumping off of him and into her. "You're really not doing well talking about this," she said as she nodded. "Okay. How about this? We won't talk about this right now. But you say it's something I need to know soon?"

"Yes."

She sighed. "All right. Is there someone else I can talk to about it? Would that make you feel better if it wasn't you that had to do the explaining?"

He felt a burst of anger, but it was not directed at her. "It should come from me!"

She instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand. "Hey, I'm not holding you to anything, Turan." She could feel his anger and disappointment through the connection of their hands. And something else. Fear. "What are you so afraid of?" she asked.

He removed his hand quickly. He stood. "I must report for duty. If you should decide to terminate our relationship because of my need to bond with you, it will be more than regrettable, I suspect, for the both of us. I would try my utmost to not attempt to change your mind, but I cannot say for a certainty that I will not attempt to induce you to return to me, Dana."

"Turan, I need you to tell me what this is about."

She could swear she saw his lips thin into a line as if to indicate that he would not let a thing pass from them about the situation. "If you knew the truth, then I would certainly lose you. And at this time I cannot bear the thought of that. I will go now."

"So what, you're waiting until you can bear the thought of losing me?" she asked, confused, as she followed him out to the door of the apartment.

"Yes," he said. "But I do not know if that is at all possible."

She couldn't get him to stay after that. He left for duty after a brief touching of his fingers with hers.

####

Amanda was surprised to see Dana at her door. "Hey, it's me. How you doing?" she asked.

She let her in and wondered why Dana looked so troubled. "What's the matter?"

Dana didn't even bother sitting. "I need to talk to you about something…private. I don't want to do it here."

Amanda nodded. "Okay, um, how about outside?"

"Good. I can use a stroll."

The two left that moment and were grateful that the hottest part of the day was not only past, but the pleasant feeling of the beginning cool of the setting sun was upon them. "I love this feeling," said Amanda wistfully. "It's so comfortable."

"It's still too hot for me until the sun goes down but I'm getting used to it," admitted Dana.

"So what's going on?" asked Amanda.

"Turan. There's something wrong and he won't tell me what it is."

"I don't know how I can help you with that, Dana," laughed Amanda lightly. "No two Vulcans are alike."

"I know," she also laughed. "But there was something he said. Something about Vulcan men doing everything they can to keep their women happy so he won't lose her and his life. Why would him losing me make him lose his life? He wouldn't tell me what it meant. As a matter of fact he got so uncomfortable and said that even though it should come from him, he wasn't ready to tell me and…" she looked closely at Amanda. "Oh my God, you've got the same look on your face right now! You know what he's talking about, don't you?"

Amanda sighed tiredly. How many times was she going to get stuck with Pon Farr explanation duties? "Um…he said he wanted it to come from him, Dana."

"Oh, come on, Amanda, we're friends, right? How about we do the old method of you tell me and I pretend I still don't know the next time I see him?"

Amanda laughed but she had a sick feeling in her stomach. "This is not something you can pretend to forget."

"He sounded like that, too, like it was the worst thing _ever_ and that the minute I found out I would leave him! What is going on?"

She didn't know what to say and what not to say. "All Vulcan men go through it at some point," she admitted.

"He said the same thing, so I already know that. Is there anymore you can give me?" Dana stood there, waiting, watching Amanda look as uncomfortable as ever. "Has Sarek, you know, talked to you about this?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you before or after you were bonded?"

"After."

"Did you…well were you angry with him that he didn't tell you before?"

"No. But things were different for us. He bonded with me to get me out of jail," she reminded her with a small laugh. She didn't tell her the truth, that Sarek later confessed he had wanted her just as much as she had wanted him before they'd bonded. She felt compelled to protect that information and keep it safe between the two of them.

"Well has Maya-" Dana saw Amanda's eyes widen. "Sokam and Maya…is that why they bonded so quickly? Is that why I didn't see her for days? Did it have something to do with whatever it is Turan won't tell me?"

She cleared her throat. "You're getting warmer."

"Oh, come on, tell me!"

"I don't want to be the one responsible for breaking you two up, if you decide you can't handle the information!"

Dana screamed, "Aaahhh!" at the sky in exasperation. "What if I promise I won't leave him?"

Amanda thought about it. "Well you aren't a shrinking violet…and if Maya could know the truth and decide to go through with it anyway, given her past, I guess I owe it to you to tell you the truth, too." She sighed. "Sit down. You're going to need to."

####

By the end of it all, Dana was almost seeing double. "What? Is that why Maya had the big old bite mark on her neck that time she covered it up and wouldn't talk about it?"

"No, that's something else," laughed Amanda. "But it's related to the bonding instinct, too."

"So what about last week when I saw her for the first time in days and she had those bruises on her arms she was covering up, was that a side effect of this Pon Farr thing?"

"Bingo."

Dana sighed. "Wow. That is deep." She thought about it some more. She admitted to herself she had been watching Sokam out of the corner of her eye after that thinking he might be a wife batterer. She was surprised because she thought if a man ever hit Maya he would find himself pulling a cooking pot out of his skull. It all came clear to her then. "You know…the more I think about it, the more I realize, if I walked out on him because of this what kind of woman would I be? He can't help it. It's not like he becomes some raging maniac on purpose. It's out of his control." She thought about it some more. "And Maya survived it."

"She didn't just survive. I think she really liked it," laughed Amanda.

"Okay, so our Maya's a freak. I always suspected that under that ladylike exterior there was a nymphomaniac screaming to get out. But I know Sokam is much stronger than her physically, how did she live through that?"

"T'Niye helped us out with some stuff," said Amanda. "But the point is you would have the help if you needed it, okay? I guess you could say Maya was the guinea pig and the experiment worked."

Dana sighed. "I can't even be angry with him anymore for what happened today. The more I think about it, the more I think I'm starting to understand the psychology of the Vulcan male. This species, like any other, is driven to do what it takes to live. And it's hardwired into the brains of the men to take a mate, even if he literally has to _take_ a mate…" she laughed nervously. "I made a funny."

"Um, no," said Amanda.

"I know, it was awful," laughed Dana. "But I see now that's why they have to be logical, right? I mean they can get pretty crazy if they weren't. Makes me afraid to ever meet a V'Tosh Vulcan."

"So you're not going to break up with him?" asked Amanda, relieved.

"Hell no. I love him even more now. To see the amount of self control he's had not to bond himself to me is remarkable. I may love him and everything but I admit I'm never napping with him again until we're bonded," she laughed.

####

Turan exited work the next morning and was surprised to see Dana at his shuttle, waiting for him. Shin was standing there with her, as well. They saw the tall Vulcan approaching their position and the bodyguard said one last thing to her and turned to leave. "Dana," whispered Turan as he walked up to her, "what are you doing here?" He was more than gratified to see her. If it were his choice, they would never part ways.

"I don't start work for over two hours," she told him. "I slept at Amanda's last night and…can you and I talk?" He nodded in the affirmative. She turned and waved Shin on. The Terran guard smiled at them both, entered his shuttle and departed. After he was gone, she turned back to Turan. "Look at me." He looked down into her blue eyes and found himself trapped in her gaze. "I forced Amanda to tell me everything I needed to know last night."

His face turned away. He knew what she spoke of. "Please, do not-"

"I already know," she said as she extended her two fingers to him. "And I'm not leaving you, not because of that, not ever because of that. Do you understand?"

He turned back around and saw the look on her face. She spoke the truth. "Dana, you are certain?" he asked as his fingers connected with hers.

"Let's work this out," she said. "Rule number one. No more napping together until after we're married."

"Agreed."


	42. Disagree

Disagree

Amanda opened the message in her inbox. She wondered why the Judicial Center of Terra Prime was sending her something. As far as she knew the disgraced were never communicated with directly. She read the letter and her mouth dropped open. She wondered if the other girls had opened theirs yet. Apparently, since the banned books had been returned and were now slated for study and then destruction, the title of Thought Crime was removed from them all, as well as the now deceased Cassie. She felt an arrow through her heart. But she knew this was the price they all paid so that Sarek's reputation, and in turn hers, wouldn't be panned. She sighed tiredly and went to talk to Maya whom was still staying with them for the time being.

####

"I got my message this morning," said Maya. "I couldn't believe it! Especially the part of the letter that said that since our titles are removed, we're no longer considered 'enemies of the empire' and we can return to Terra Prime anytime we want." She sighed. "I was like 'whoa'."

"Are you staying?" asked Amanda.

Maya laughed. "I have a job here at the museum, my dream job. And to top_ that_ off I have an opportunity now to learn to control my abilities, not just mask them. And well I hate the Empire and Terra Prime is the seat of the Empire, so there you go."

"Is Sokam a factor?"

"If he could get his head out of his ass, yes, he's a factor, too. But that man is so stubborn I don't know what he's going to do about us."

"Well what are _you_ going to do about you two?" asked Amanda.

"I already spoke to him a few days ago and told him that since he and I are already married I consider that to be a very sacred thing. He knows I'm not interested in ending things and he told me he doesn't want to let me go or dissolve our bond either. I just can't be under the same roof with someone who thinks it's an option to pretend I don't exist for days on end. So when he figures out what kind of husband he wants to be, we can figure things out from there."

Amanda sighed. She wanted the two to get back together but she couldn't be angry with Maya for feeling the way that she did. She remembered those few days she'd slept on the opposite side of the house from Sarek in the guest bedroom because of how angry he had made her by telling her to 'attend him' instead of obtaining employment outside of their home. She almost started laughing at the memory so forced herself to go back to the issues they were currently dealing with. "Well about our new status, I'm not going back to Terra Prime, especially since I've technically broken the law by marrying Sarek. He's such a public figure everyone and their mother is going to find out within 48 hours-"

"Twenty-four," joked Maya.

"—of me setting foot back on the planet with him." She smiled at her friend's joke. "If only I could get rid of this damned heartburn!" she exclaimed out of nowhere.

"How long have you had that?"

"Days of heartburn. And the stupid crying, just crying too much. It's disgusting."

Maya took a long look at Amanda and went, "Ooooh."

"What does that long 'oh' mean?"

"Um, nothing. Just thinking about this thing I realized years ago. When I was about twelve I had this aunt, this crazy aunt, she was the type that like would wear mismatched socks all of the time and like her wardrobe was nuts. One earring missing all of the time, things like that. I love her a lot and I always thought her weirdness was so cool. Anyway, one day she just got really…normal."

"Normal?"

"Normal, out of nowhere. The socks matched, her clothing became tasteful. She stopped wearing weird jewelry. It was just strange, you know, for her? But it scared me to death. And she had this…otherness to her that didn't make any sense to me at the time. I thought she had a brain tumor or something. She found out she was having twins within a month of turning 'normal'. She had the boys, everything went back to her brand of normal and that was about it after that."

"So?"

Maya smiled. "So, Amanda, I've noticed the crying and the way you've kind of been acting not like yourself sometimes. And I assumed it was because of…well I don't know what, I guess I've been so wrapped up in my own drama I didn't even notice my best friend was giving off pregnancy symptoms."

"Pregnancy!"

"Yeah, you're kind of giving off that 'otherness' my aunt had."

"But you said that you sensed that otherness thing after I bonded with Sarek, so maybe that's what you're-"

"No, this is different," Maya said almost matter-of-factly. "I mean I haven't checked you to be sure."

"Why not?" asked Amanda.

"That would be a violation of your privacy," said Maya. "Ever since I've started using the mind shield I've been able to keep my contact to others mentally to a nice minimum. And I'm not checking you for pregnancy until you specifically ask me to do it. Right now I _suspect_ you are, but I don't know it for a fact."

"So can I think about it for a day or two?" asked Amanda.

"That's totally up to you. But since you don't know for sure and the baby, if you are pregnant, is a hybrid you might want to get to the doctor ASAP so you can make sure he's all right."

For some reason Amanda decided to shove the thought into the back of her mind that she might be pregnant. She wanted to take a day or two to mull it over in her head. In the meantime, she had something to talk to Sarek about.

"Do you know how long Maya's been here?" she asked her husband later on that day.

"I am aware of the chronological amount of time my ward has returned to live under my roof."

"Well what are you going to _do_ about it?"

Sarek's eyebrow raised. "What is it I am supposed to be doing?"

"Sokam needs a kick in the ass!" Amanda declared. "He's treating his wife horribly!"

"Has Maya asked you to speak with me about this?"

Amanda shrugged. "No. I just can't stand by and watch my friend keep feeling hurt over this. She has too much pride to ask anybody to help her with this, but I can't let her keep going through this. She's been here for over three days now, Sarek, that's ridiculous!"

He knew Amanda was not going to like what he had to say. "It is not my place to inject myself into the bond of another."

"Oh, please! She's your ward-"

"Which makes it doubly important that I do not speak to Sokam on this matter. He would think I am attempting to tell him how to be a proper bond mate-"

"And he would be right! He's acting like a total ass toward her. I don't know what his issue is, but do you know how used she feels? She gets him through Pon Farr, he lives, she gets an array of bruises, cuts and some broken bones and then she gets ignored. What the hell?"

Sarek was uncertain how his kinsman could voluntarily feel the hurt of his mate and do nothing about it.

Amanda heard the echo of his thought and informed him, "I'll tell you how he can stand it, he's shut the door of the bond on her, that's how!"

Sarek's stomach lurched. After his last Pon Farr when he found out his first mate indeed did not wish to remain in a bond with him, she shut the bond down between the two of them. Even then, though he accepted her answer, it was a painful sensation to have something that had been so open and accessible before be closed to him. But he knew that was not the reason Sokam had shut down his bond.

He suspected what Sokam's real issue was. He knew then that he most certainly could not speak to him about it. It was something he was going to have to figure out on his own. And in the meantime, Maya would suffer for it. She would not know how much her husband truly wanted her because he didn't know how to tell her that the want for her had overtaken him. He did not realize it was natural. Sokam, he knew, was most likely assuming it was abnormal.

"Amanda, as much as I may wish to intervene, I cannot. It goes against everything we believe in. A man's bond with his mate is solely between the two of them. Only if Maya begins to outwardly manifest symptoms of neglect from her mate may I then intervene and speak with my kinsman. Until then, I can say nothing. She is handling it well. She has removed herself from contact with him. She has obtained employment in a career of her choice and she has undertaken education with T'Niye for her abilities. She is behaving appropriately and as far as I am aware has not broadcast her decision to anyone else to temporarily leave her bond mate on his own pending his enlightenment."

She was so angry with him at that moment, she exclaimed, "Oh, you Vulcan _men_ and your pride you won't ever admit to and your damned loopholes!"

He detected the quake a few seconds before it hit. He reached out and quickly pulled his wife to him, held her close and then the tremor hit. That time it was a little more than a simple tremor since it lasted over four seconds.

She was standing there in his arms, breathing rapidly, nervous and paranoid. "Well if you don't mind I'm sleeping in here tonight even though I'm pretty pissed off with you."

His amusement ran deep as he pulled his wife to their bed and sat her in it. "Of course I would not ask you to depart even if you are angry with me, Amanda."

"Right," she said sarcastically as she lay down on her side. But in the back of her mind, that little piece of curiosity was alive and well about what might be happening inside her…

####

Dana opened the door and smiled widely at Turan. "Come in," she said as she opened the door wider for him to enter.

He did so and extended his fingers to her. "Where is Mariana?" he asked.

"She's out with Jhuleem tonight," she said as she led him forward by his fingers to the couch. They both sat and she said, "But first, I have two great pieces of news."

He nodded her on. He enjoyed the look of her face when she smiled at him this way, her eyes cast upward at his.

"I got a memo that my sentence of Thought Crime is lifted. I'm no longer a felon," she said with a laugh.

His stomach sank. "I presume you will return to Terra Prime now. There is nothing holding you here."

She smacked his chest, openly hurt. "You fool, you're holding me here. And I hate Terra Prime. I never quite shared that with you, did I?"

He admitted, "No, you did not," as he caught the hand that had just tapped his chest and began to stroke it almost rhythmically.

"And my second piece of great news…I got offered a paying position at the place I work. Assistant to the Human Resources Head. I know, terribly racial-centric name, but it pays the bills for now."

He honestly meant it as he said, "I congratulate you, _T'hy'la_."

She didn't know what he'd just said, but she knew that having his hand in contact with hers as he said it caused a strange buzz to pass through her. "Oh…" she murmured. What was that? Whatever it was, it felt good.

"I must speak with you about the truth of my state among my people, now. I am…I am what is considered a War Orphan. My entire family was lost on the other side of this world when I was little more than a small child. I was sent here to be raised as a Syrranite."

"You mean you- you mean you don't have anyone?"

He admitted, "No. No one but you."

Her eyes turned sympathetic. "Turan, I never knew." She couldn't help but reach out with her free hand and begin stroking his hair. It was so soft and silken to the touch.

His eyes closed instantly. The feeling of her hands on his scalp- "You must stop now, Dana."

"What if I don't want to stop?" she asked as she allowed her body to drift closer to his. One of his hands was still holding hers and her other hand was entwined in his hair. The emotions drifting back and forth between them were coming faster, soothing and exciting her at the same time. She was certain it was having the same effect on him.

"There is no obstacle to our bonding. There is no family to intervene, no clan mother for me to answer to. When I establish my house, it will be my house. And though I am an orphan, I am not outcast or disgraced." He found he could speak no more, her hands on his skin was having an enhanced effect on his nervous system. He was distracted and did not sense the quake that was about to hit. It was the same quake Amanda and Sarek were about to endure together not too far away. Despite the short length of it, they were unprepared.

One second after the tremor started, he pulled Dana to him quickly and rolled himself on top of her and onto the floor to make certain she would be fine if it lasted too long. Fortunately it did not. But once it ended, they both realized they were sensing more of one another than they should.

They were both breathing quite heavily at the end of the long tremor. His heavy mass was almost pinning her to the ground. She could sense him there, in her mind, caressing her insides. And he gasped openly as he relished the feeling of her beneath him both physically and mentally.

She found herself staring up at him, his eyes also boring deep within hers. The enhanced feeling of his essence brushing against hers caused her to slowly lift her head and touch her lips to his. The brief contact was not adequate to him. He found himself on a rush of emotion not only accepting the kiss she had given him, but returning it with one of his own. His body was drowning in the feeling of her. They were connected at the most perfect of places and his mind within hers began to spread slowly, cast outward in a net of warmth and heavy desire. So many emotions kept contained for so long, especially those concerning her.

He realized, belatedly, what was happening and tried to establish control. He forced his lips away from hers and found himself attempting to remove himself from her.

"Please, Turan," she whispered urgently and took her hand, pulled his face back to hers, began kissing him again. She liked the feel of him on her, in her, spreading, searching, trying to take anchor within her mind.

He regrettably forced himself away from the stimulating warmth as he rolled off of her and found himself sitting in front of her couch on the floor, head in his hands.

She saw the turmoil he was in and felt instantly bad for not being able to control herself. Here she was, angry with him before for having a difficult time controlling his instincts. And the moment the two of them accidently wound up touching mentally, she found herself addicted to the feeling while he was able to pull himself away. "I don't know what came over me," she admitted with a whisper.

"We are compatible," was the only thing he was able to answer.

"I'm so sorry," she said as she sat up. Even then, as she sat up, she felt herself drawn to him, wanting to touch him, to get that feeling back again… "That was mostly my fault, wasn't it?"

"It is unimportant whose fault it is," he said. "I do not regret the physical manifestation of our compatibility. It is the mental violation that was unintentionally visited upon your persona I am troubled by. I assure you, there is nothing permanent lingering from it."

"Violation? It was an accident, Turan. And besides, I liked it. I'm not even upset with you. I'm upset with myself."

"What reason do you have to be upset with yourself?"

"I practically assaulted you! You were trying to do the right thing, trying to keep to our agreement and I just grabbed you."

He looked down at her sitting just in front of him. "It is nothing I have not wished to do repeatedly for quite sometime now," he admitted.

She smiled down at her lap. "So you're trying to tell me you want to go to bed with me?"

"Amongst other things," he admitted shamelessly.

"Why, Turan, that is scandalous!" she joked.

"No. If I actually carried out my desires, that would be scandalous. I speak only the truth when I say that when I am permitted to bind you to me, I will enjoy what comes afterward and so shall you."

"Arrogant cuss," she said under her breath. But she was turned on by his words. "I don't really see the use of you and I dancing around this much longer. We've dated long enough. Maybe we should start planning our future together, get engaged. At least that's the way Terrans do it. What do you think?"

"I have been ready to do so for sometime."

"So what now, we talk about what we want, what we don't want, set a date, what?"

"We shall see, shall we not?"

"Okay, let's start with living arrangements. Where would you want to live?"

####

Maya was slightly pissed off. The night before when the tremor had happened she'd felt Sokam access their bond for a split second. She realized then he had been checking to make certain she was all right. He then quickly closed things down between them again. She realized then she was more than slightly pissed off. She was pissed off, fed up and borderline outraged.

Amanda entered her room, then. "Hey, I have an idea!" she said with a huge grin.

"What's that?" asked Maya.

"Remember…well actually it was your idea. You said we should all go out together once a month for a ladies night, remember?"

Maya smiled. "I did say that, right?"

"I just spoke to Dana and Mariana, and they're game. You want to come?"

"Heck, yes. It'll take my mind off of all this crap going on -or bet yet not going on- between me and Sokam."

"Okay, I'm going to go get dressed. The girls are going to be here in about half an hour, okay?"

"Okay," said Maya excitedly, ready to have some fun.

####

The ladies arrived on time and Amanda went out to greet them. Since they were her friends, they were all aware, as Dana put it 'how much of a dumbass Sokam was being lately'. The strange thing was only Amanda and Dana knew exactly why. Mariana was still kind of in the dark. But even so, she had her own solution.

"Did you bring it?" asked Amanda.

"It's right here in the bag," said Mariana.

The three of them burst in on Maya and saw she was wearing a nice modest grey dress. "Hey, girls, what are you doing in here?"

"Put this on," said Mariana as she threw a red garment at her.

Maya unfolded it and her mouth dropped open. "Holy cows and buttermilk biscuits, what the—how can I wear this thing?"

"Because you've got a banging body and if your husband doesn't appreciate it, then you shouldn't forget you've got it," said Dana. "Put the dress on."

"Amanda?" asked Maya, shocked.

"Put it on," said Amanda.

Maya stood there and looked at the dress. It was a very feminine looking piece of clothing. "I could at least _try_ it on, right?"

"Right," said all three ladies at the same time.

"I'll be right back," she said with a very wicked gleam starting to form in her eyes.

She exited the bathroom ten minutes later. She'd taken the time to adjust her make-up, oil her body so her skin had a slight sheen, adjust her hair so the wild curls were spilling down her back and the dress…

It was red, candy red, and it was strapless. All you saw was the tops of Maya's clear, brown shoulders. The dress clung in all of the right places and held a satiny sheen. It reached the middle of Maya's thighs and there you saw nothing but well muscled thighs that tapered down to her well formed calves and ankles in her high heels. She'd taken the time to also paint her toenails red.

She turned with her hands on her hips. "Check this out, ladies." Her backside was a round sphere that just didn't quit.

"Damn!" exclaimed Dana as she rushed forward and smacked her friend in the backside.

It was the first time in a long time that Maya looked good and knew it. Amanda felt a nervous thrill in her stomach. This could all go very wrong tonight. Or very right. "Come on, let's go!" she exclaimed.

Sarek watched the gaggle of ladies exiting the back of the house and heading for the doorway. His eyes perceptively widened when he took in Maya's mode of dress. It was almost like seeing his daughter dressed scandalously and he was ready to blame the one person he could for it. "My wife, I would speak with thee now!" he snapped.

Amanda ran to his side with a challenging grin on her face. "Yes, husband?" she asked.

"This is your doing."

"What?"

"Why is she who is my ward semi-naked?" He didn't wait for his wife to answer but turned to Maya. "My ward, why are you dressed in this immodest fashion?"

"Nah ah, Sarek, my vital parts are all covered," she declared with a serious face and a nod.

"What's wrong?" Amanda tried to ask him as innocently as possible.

"She cannot be permitted to leave our property this way."

"Don't worry, Sarek," said Amanda. "This is how Terran females dress when they go out. And we're going to be on the edge of the Terran section at The Jazz Spot, all right? It's a mixed crowd, so not just Terrans go there. Zurel's flying us there, Shin is staying with us in the club, so is Jhuleem and he's a big huge Cardassian…I mean, we'll be guarded and escorted and someplace where that mode of dress is totally normal."

"She is Sokam's wife. He would wish to know-" He stopped speaking.

"Then you should call him and tell him how his wife is dressed, don't you think?" said Amanda with a little smile. She connected her fingers with his and said, "See you later, Sarek."

####

Sokam was exiting meditation when he heard his comm go off. He answered it and saw the face of his kinsman. But Sarek seemed to be…disturbed. "I have called to warn you of something that you must be informed of," he said.

The younger man only sat there and said nothing.

"My ward, your wife, has left my home for a Terran nightclub with her friends. She is wearing a red garment that barely covers most of her legs and does not at all cover her shoulders and arms. She looked most aesthetically pleasing according to the standards of Terran beauty and it is only proper that you, as her husband, realize she has elected to behave this way due to your neglect of your duties as her mate."

He was bowled over by the information and his kinsman's words at once. "It is your conjecture that my neglect has caused she who is my wife to behave in an erratic manner?"

"Her behavior was not at all erratic, but quite deliberate. You have goaded a female with a predisposition to behaving quite logically into behaving immodestly."

"You have this reaction simply because she is your ward. However, I am quite disquieted that my bride has exited your home dressed in this manner. How is it that you allowed this?"

"She is not my wife, I have no right to bar her exit. Had she not been induced to quit your home, you could have regulated her mode of dress yourself. However I suspect had she not been induced to quit your home she would never have done such a thing."

"Where has she gone?" he asked.

"To the edge of the Terran section frequented by many races to a place called The Jazz Spot. Even as we speak, your wife will soon be arriving at a location frequented by males from all over the Empire who are in the mindset to mingle suggestively while ingesting alcoholic beverages."

Sokam nodded once and then cut the connection. He attempted to access the bond between he and his wife but for once she had blocked him out. What was she doing at that moment? He was seeing green as he prepared to leave the home and go to this place on the edge of the Terran section.


	43. Possession

_I am so sorry it took so long to get this to you! I had the last of my health situation taken care of on Tuesday. Thank you for your patience. I've edited this chapter several times. Let's hope this incarnation survives readership, lol! - J.S._

Possession

From what they could all see, even the outside of the jazz club was a very relaxed environment. It was the complete opposite of the club they'd visited all those weeks ago when Cassie had been under suspicion. Standing in line, the patrons who were waiting their turn were speaking to one another in regular tones. The music could be heard from outside, but it was not overly loud or pumping. It was actually relaxed, almost soothing.

As they approached the front of the line, the bouncer saw the four females with the two males and at first he was going to make them wait their turn. But Dana's mischievous side came to the fore and she pulled Maya to the front of the group. "Can't you let us in now? My friend is kind of cold in this dress and we wouldn't want her to catch a cold, now would we?" He took one look up and down at the woman in the clingy red dress and found himself letting her and her party in.

As they entered, "I can't believe I just got us into a club," Maya whispered to the other ladies. "I must look like a total hooker!" But she was grinning as she said it.

"Come on," said Dana as she leaned close to her with her own grin, "Give yourself some credit. You look like a high-priced call girl, at_ least_."

Maya groaned in mock distress at first but then found herself laughing. She knew what she was doing was very bad but for once she oddly found she didn't care. Then she felt Sokam attempting to access their bond, but she had already snapped her end shut earlier. Tonight was supposed to be hers to enjoy. But still, in the back of her mind, some part of her was a wee bit worried about him and about the status of things between them.

They were all escorted by a hostess and seated at a nice corner table at the top of a tier which afforded them a view of the entire place. It wasn't semi-dark in the club, but still well-lit enough so they could see that there were patrons from around the Empire dotting the club here and there; and Terrans were only half the club-goers. Amanda realized she'd never been in such a mixed setting. Everywhere she'd been had been predominantly Terran, or lately predominantly Vulcan. "I've never seen so many aliens in one spot! This night is going to be exciting!"

"Said the woman married to an alien," teased Jhuleem.

Amanda laughed into her hand as Maya looked at Mariana with a playful grin. "Would you tell that guy to behave before all us girls have to beat him down?" He remembered Maya from Terra Prime. She had been one of the few people that looked him in the eye and smiled when they spoke to him.

The table laughed as Jhuleem declared, "Getting accosted by four females? That's one of the Cardassian Rings of Heaven."

Shin added, "That's also a Terran Ring of Heaven."

They were all laughing and relaxing as a singer took the stage, a tall Betazoid female with long exotic locks and a form fitting dress. Her voice was like mixed satin and lace and a few couples stood to dance with one another to the accompanying soft music. The waiter delivered the drinks for their table.

As usual Maya was still on drink number one while Mariana was already on drink number two. Shin had water since he was on duty and Amanda stuck to fruit juice. Dana, who was for once not dressed with every inch of skin showing, had her one drink and decided to leave it at that. "Amanda, what's with the fruit juice?" Dana teased with a small grin.

She only smiled and sipped. "I had a craving for it, that's all."

Maya almost choked at Amanda's use of the word 'craving' but didn't. It was such a relaxing night, so far. She stood and was about to walk away. "Ah-ah," Shin stopped her. "I escort you everywhere you go as per Sarek's orders."

"Aw, Shin, I'm only going to the bathroom!" she said as she turned back around to face her table. She bent over to give Shin the 'please!' eyes and he nodded 'no' and stood along with her.

"I'm coming with you," said Amanda. "I have to go, too!"

####

Sokam approached the back entrance of the establishment, walked in and announced to the mixed kitchen staff on duty, "I am here to check your establishment for the presence of one individual. That is all." They all shrugged at one another and went back to their jobs. It was his planet, after all.

As he walked into the interior, he reflected on what Sarek had said to him when he had called to inform him of his wife's inappropriate mode of dress. He had had enough time to think clearly while driving his ground vehicle to the establishment. He knew the insides of his wife's mind very well and he knew she was not an immodest dresser.

Perhaps he had pushed her too far away in his attempt to control himself. Perhaps he had neglected her beyond reason. But he also knew she would never intentionally goad him. He was ready to believe that perhaps Sarek's assessment of the situation was not as dire as he had initially supposed. He would go, assure himself his wife was well and then depart the establishment without even bothering to speak with her. He had already decided he would leave her to her friends for the evening. They would talk face-to-face in the morning. Things had gone far enough now and it was time they communicated.

He came out onto a clearing that gave him a view of the entire place from the shadows. He could not see his wife as his eyes scanned the crowd. Had she not have prevented him accessing their bond, he would have found her that much easier. No trouble, he would- His mind almost melted in his skull. There was a woman in a red dress whose body looked intimately familiar to him. Her back was to him and she was bending over to speak to—Shin?

Every male eye in the place close enough to survey her went to the round inviting backside clothed in satiny red as she bent over. Sokam's eyes widened as his wife stood upright, turned around and began to leave the area with Amanda and Shin. He could see every part of her inviting bronze shoulders and arms. Her curls hid much of her back until she reached up and twirled her hair up and into a bun, most likely to cool down. As a result, every male that had not stopped staring had a full view of her well-formed shoulders. As she walked by, many eyes quickly surveyed up and down the short voluptuous figure. He found himself clenching his jaw and restraining a growl of jealousy in his chest.

His instincts were telling him to go in there and single-handedly put out the eyes of every male that had seen his woman that night. But he reminded himself that that was neither logical nor reasonable. If anyone was to blame for having an opportunity to see this much of what was supposed to be his, it was his wife.

He saw where the three went and followed.

####

Shin was not at all surprised to see Sokam walking toward him. He was standing just outside the ladies bathroom waiting for the two girls to exit. "About time you showed up," said Shin with chastisement in his voice.

"Pardon?"

"I would not be a happy man if _my_ wife went out dressed like that without _me._"

Sokam said nothing in response but then Amanda was coming out of the bathroom. "Where is my wife?" he asked as soon as he saw the face of his kinsman's wife.

"In there," said Amanda as she pointed at the closing door. But she was looking daggers at him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

His jaw clenched again. "I have come to collect her."

"Oh like she's an object or something, right?" asked Amanda. "You dumped her after she saved your sorry ass and then when you're interested again you can come and pick her up?"

Sokam hadn't expected this from Amanda of all people. He knew Sarek had not wanted him to bond with Maya. He also knew Amanda had been his sole advocate. And now he had even alienated her. "That is not the case," he assured her.

"Look, Sokam," said Amanda with a low voice. "I really liked you for her. I still like you as a person and I think you two are great together. But if you hurt her again, I will personally cut off your _lok_ and throw it into the desert for the animals there to feast on, do you get that?"

He could only respect that Amanda spoke out of strong emotion for her friend. She did not truly wish to inflict bodily harm on him…at least he thought not. She looked extremely angry with him. So he simply nodded. "I understand your concern."

She only gave off one 'hmmpf' and then walked away with Shin following her.

The door opened and Maya exited. Her face fell when she saw who was standing there waiting for her. Some inner part of her was thrilled to see him, but she forced herself to crush it. She was guarding herself from being disappointed by him. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I have come to retrieve you."

"Sarek called you, didn't he?" She had the sudden sensation that she should have worded the question 'my dad called you, didn't he?'

Sokam did not answer the question. Instead, "You will return home with me this instant," he said.

She put her hand on her hip and gave him a 'look'. "Oh, I will, will I?"

"Is this guy bothering you, sweetie?" said a big burly Terran with a shaved head. He had a tattoo of a Celtic knot on the side of his neck and he looked like he was ready to rumble.

The last thing Maya wanted was for things to escalate, so she quickly said, "No, he's not bothering me."

"We will return to our home now," said Sokam calmly. But the last thing he felt was calm because the male who was trying to intervene in his personal business was now staring at his wife in her barely dressed state. He sincerely hoped he did not find himself unduly provoked that evening. He was aware of several ways to kill if need be.

Maya sighed exaggeratedly. She knew that look in his eye. That jealousy thing was happening again. "Well there goes _my_ evening," she joked to herself. "I'm fine," she said to the Terran male as she went along with Sokam. "How about we just talk outside for a minute and then you go home without me, okay?" she said as they exited the back of the establishment.

"We are going home," he said as they approached his vehicle.

"Mine or yours?" she asked.

"Ours," he said.

"Oh really? You could have fooled me."

"We will return home," he responded coolly.

He was her husband and she really wanted to work things out, but he didn't seem to be putting forth any effort to fix anything! He hadn't seen her in days and all he was doing was ordering her around since setting eyes on her. "Fine. Let's go to your place. I need to pack my stuff anyway."

It was the closest to violent anger he had ever come with Maya. But he did not wish to do harm to her physically or otherwise. What he wished to do was pull over to the side of the designated lane and claim her body in a violently heated manner so intense she would never think of leaving his side again. But he suspected she didn't even want him to touch her. Words would have to suffice until she once again craved his touch.

The two climbed into his vehicle and said nothing on the ride back to their little house. Once they entered, Maya went straight for their bedroom. She found her suitcase under their bed, pulled it out and slapped it onto the top of their bed. She then began putting her things inside from their joint bureau.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"And you're supposed to be so much more intelligent than me, right?" she said sarcastically.

He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away from her bag. "No, we are in need of communication and you will listen to me now."

"So first you're ordering me around and now you think its okay to touch me?"

That she would insinuate that he needed permission to touch she who was his, whom he had claimed in the fires of Pon Farr… He snapped. "I will not tolerate _my wife_ to display herself in such shameful garb, especially when I am not in her company. She who is _my wife_ will live in my home with me. And when I access our bond, she will allow me access whenever I see fit," he said quite fiercely.

Maya's own brand of insanity reared its head. She supposed later it was the part of her BAMF sister that she channeled involuntarily. "Oh YEAH?" she screamed at him so loudly he let her arms go. "Let me tell _you_ something, _mister_! If some _man_ thinks he's going to be _my_ husband and ignore _me_, _he's_ got another thing coming. I don't live with second best. Either give me your all or give me _nothing_! I'm not some charity case! I spent too many years not liking myself and now I do and I'm not going to let you or anyone else take that away from me!" she said as she walked away from him. He'd been holding her pretty tightly before and some part of her was still very turned on by just his touch. She hated herself for that. Damn.

She stepped back to her bag with more items and continued packing, careless of the fact that her husband had just told her she would not leave him.

"My wife, cease packing your possessions," he warned.

She continued to pack as she shot one look at him. "_Make_ me stop!" she challenged.

He rapidly crossed to where she was standing in less than five steps and simply stood there, in her space, breathing in her ear, not saying a word. Time stood still and all the two could hear was each other's accelerated breaths.

It occurred to him that he was speaking to her the wrong way and he finally decided to use persuasion instead of orders. His goal was to keep her, not drive her further way. His body language relaxed. "I do not wish for you to walk away from me this way. I simply wish to speak with you, _adun'a_. Is that not what we should do under the circumstances?" he asked softly. Sarek had accused him of treating her unwell and so had she herself. Perhaps hearing from her exactly what it was that had gone wrong would help them to get back to where they had been upon bonding.

That soft tone of voice, it immediately disarmed her. Maya dropped the last of the clothing she was holding into the bag and closed it. As she let it slide to the floor, she gently moved him away from her with one hand since having him stand so much in her space made it impossible for her to think straight. But the hand she put to his chest to try to back him away, he took it into his own and wouldn't let it go. She was starting to feel cornered.

"You want to communicate with me now? Fine. You are like a child that puts something down and then only wants it back when another becomes interested in it. You didn't like the other men looking at me tonight. I bet you only came to get me because Sarek warned you that your wife was displaying herself in unacceptable clothing."

"Sarek told me of your indiscrete manner of dress, that is correct," he said, his jaw clenching as he remembered the looks being given to she who was supposed to be only his.

She yanked her hand from his and sat down on their bed. She felt so lost. She still loved him more than anything else, but she wondered if he would get what it was that had gone wrong. "Sokam, I don't-" She nodded, not able to put it into words. "You think your people are the only ones not able to talk about their feelings? Do you think I want to tell you what you've done to me, face to face? Do you think it's going to be easy to communicate that?"

He noticed that she was refusing to look him in the eye as she spoke the words. He saw the way her lips were downturned. Was she going to cry? Had he made his wife cry? Down deep under the layers of control he felt the beginning stirs of regret. Still standing, he reached his hand forward to her, extended his two fingers.

At first she turned her head and simply looked at the two fingers that came into her vision. She thought about not giving in. But she remembered, this man was her husband and she at least owed it to their bond to try. She didn't trust him enough to open the bond again, not yet, but she extended her two fingers to his and allowed him to access her empathically.

He was stuck by a wave of _humiliation_. Her humiliation. It left a heavy ache in his chest. He could feel the overwhelming sadness that she had been hiding beneath her smile. She had not at all been happy the past few days, but she had been attempting to force happiness on herself. He also felt the crushing waves of the emotion of _abandonment_. And her trust in him was nearly gone. He allowed his hand to drop away from hers and realized he still felt lingering pain in his psyche and it was not hers, it was his. He hurt because he had hurt his wife. And because he had shut their bond, he never knew any of this. It dawned on him then. "I shut the bond."

She didn't answer, only kept her face turned from his, her pain and anger coming to the surface. "If you wanted me to leave, why didn't you just _ask_? I would never force myself on anyone who didn't want my company."

He found he also needed to sit and so sat down intentionally in her space, right next to her. She didn't move away from him so he took it that she was fine at least with his presence. "I did not wish for you to leave me, my wife."

"Then why did you say those things to me?" she asked as she was still unable to meet his eyes. "About your being the wrong man for me? About my having bonded myself to you, that I shouldn't have?" She looked at him then, unshed tears sparkling in her brown eyes. "Why did you say those things to me? And then you shut down the bond. What was I supposed to think? That you were…I don't know. I don't even know what to think, still!" she said as she turned her face again, not able to look at him.

He found he was going to have to tell his wife the truth. "Never did I wish for you to leave me," he admitted. "I never would. You are mine. I told you that I would always want you and that is true." He turned her face to look at him and found that the rest of the words he needed to say were almost stuck. He only wanted to look into her eyes, feel her there in his mind again.

She'd forgotten about the strange color of his eyes and the effect they had on her. She felt like she was falling into them and about to drown. Maya did not at all appreciate how things were going. She was becoming angry at her betraying emotions. "I shouldn't trust you again, not for a long time," she said as she tried to talk herself out of being in love with him.

"Perhaps the events leading to our separation has simply been a large misunderstanding," he said, the closest to pleading he had ever come.

"What is there to misunderstand?" But she could detect that there _was_ something there that he was having a very hard time saying. She wanted to walk away because she didn't want someone she loved so much to be the cause of such intense pain to her again. But she found she couldn't walk away because she loved him. If there was something that needed to be told, she was ready to hear it from him. Maybe he was right and this simply was a very bad misunderstanding? She decided she would give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being and let him show her what it was he needed to convey.

He didn't answer with words. He found himself looking into her eyes, assessing what she might be feeling. He leaned in close to her neck and inhaled, wanting to touch her, wanting to feel her beneath him… It was what he had been trying to avoid this night, but she was sitting there with him, vulnerable, barely dressed, skin so close to his.

She felt the warmth of his breath on her neck as he whispered, "My mark is gone from your skin."

She swallowed. "T'Niye removed all traces of our contact."

He found himself dipping his head and slowly kissing at her neck region. It was what he had wished to do with her for the past few days but had forced himself to hold back until he could get himself under better control, to taste her, feel her. "I shall have to restore it," he said as his tongue, lips and teeth slowly traveled up and down the inner junction of her neck and his breath heated the now sensitized trail with his exhalations.

She was worse than distracted. She had gone in with a battle plan and it was now shot to pieces. She felt herself going down in literal flames. "Sokam," she whispered. "Can you not do this to me right now?"

He lifted his face and looked into her eyes with all of himself for the first time in so long. He allowed their bond to reactivate, sought out the part of her that was still shut off from him, mentally asked for entrance to her thoughts. "I believe we have the ability to solve all that ails our relationship," he said as he began to lightly kiss her lips. "Do you agree, my wife?" he said between kisses.

She sighed in near defeat as she allowed his kiss. "Yes," she whispered.

"And are you open to doing so?" he asked as his face traveled downward and he found himself just at her collarbone, lightly nipping at the skin there.

She knew what was coming and allowed herself to open the bond between them. And he was there, waiting, ready to merge himself with her. He did so in time to bite down hard and leave his mark anew. She was gasping in pleasure/pain as his words entered her mind, _I assure you, Ashayam, I will not make the same mistake with you twice. I will never close our bond again without your express permission. Will you consider living with me once again? _He lifted his head, looked at her. His eyes were open, clear, and his mind was still merged with hers.

"Only after we talk," she answered his question. "There are things that need to be discussed _first_ before I agree to come back to you for good."

"That is acceptable to me," he said as his hands trailed up into her hair and he kissed her again, more passionately than before. "But first, there is something we are both in dire need of."

She was aroused to the point of no return. "I agree," she said breathlessly. She could feel the fabric of the dress she was wearing being torn from the front of her body as she felt her emotions simultaneously rise from the pit of her stomach and flood to the deepest part of her core. As he lifted her and pulled her close to his body, he was there in her mind, taking her by storm, filling her with all that he was, begging her to stay with him.

####

"What do you keep staring at the door for?" Dana asked Mariana.

"Well is Maya going to be coming back here tonight or not?" she asked.

Taken off guard, Amanda and Dana were both laughing through their noses. "She's not coming back _here_ tonight," said Amanda, knowingly.

Jhuleem sat back and simply smiled at the innocence of his Mariana. "But why not?" she asked.

Dana picked up her drink and began sipping so she wouldn't say anything. "Oh, hell, why not!" she shot out after a few seconds. "She's coming all right, but not back _here_."

Mariana asked, "Do you think she's okay?" As the punch line hit belatedly, she went, "Stop being nasty!"

Dana smiled mischievously, "I just can't help it, all right?"

"But she was so mad at Sokam, why did she go home with him?" asked Mariana.

"Because he's her husband and she's trying to work things out between them," said Amanda.

"Come dance with me," said Jhuleem as he took Mariana's hand into his own. She stood happily and went with him to the dance floor. Both ladies and Shin watched her looking up into his face.

"She loves that guy," said Dana in amazement. "I can't believe it."

"He seems really nice," admitted Amanda. "And I can tell he really loves her, too."

"He's kind of cute if you can get past that skin, but the reptilian look-"

"Hey, to each their own!" chided Amanda. "How many women three or four hundred years ago would have charged us with consorting with demons because of being with the men _we_ love and tried to burn us at the stake?"

Dana flinched as she thought about it. "That's true." Then she smiled slyly. "But pointed ears are so…so… so damned hot!" she whispered. "Just _sexy_."

"I don't want to hear this conversation anymore!" Shin said with a huge grin as his face turned red.

"Yeah, sure you don't!" said Amanda as they both laughed at him.

_Only two chapters left!_


	44. Outcome

Outcome

Jhuleem and Dana were both holding Mariana up on either side. "Why is the world moving?" asked the very inebriated young woman being supported into the apartment. "Oh you're being so cruel! Would you guys stop spinning me around and around and around?" she slurred as her own head went around in circles on its' own.

Dana wanted to laugh. But all she could think about was the side effects this was going to have on her roommate the next day. As they both struggled with her through the door they had just gotten open, Dana saw that the lights were on in their apartment. She remembered that they had not left them on from before. "What the-"

Turan stood up from the couch then and moved in on behalf of Dana, taking on the load of helping to carry Mariana into her bedroom along with Jhuleem. As soon as they entered, the large Cardassian thanked the Vulcan and said, "I have her from here." He tried to keep his eyes averted as the man gently lay her onto her bed. As he closed the door on his way out Turan could see Jhuleem removing Mariana's shoes.

As soon as he walked into the hallway he was met by Dana's attitude-filled posture, her arms crossed over her chest. "How in the hell did you get in here with no key-code?"

His eyebrow only cocked once in answer.

She was not at all surprised by that complete lack of answer. "And let me guess what you're doing here. You came to see what I was wearing when I went out tonight, didn't you?"

He looked her up and down and his eyebrow lifted and descended once more. She took that as the Terran equivalent of a shoulder rising and falling. She was in a tailored pants suit that was quite form fitting, but not at all immodest. "I am quite satisfied by your mode of dress this evening."

Her mouth dropped open for a second and then she remembered who this was. "You know if you were anyone else, breaking and entering and being obsessive about what I was wearing would make me think twice."

He didn't understand what she meant. "I see no reason for alarm."

"Oh, you wouldn't," she snapped. "You sit down, sir," she said as she jammed her index finger into his chest. "We need to talk about this little gem of a talent you have for getting into locked places."

He did as she asked and then looked up at her innocently. "Is there something wrong, Dana?" he asked.

"Hello! Breaking and entering?" She was only answered by him blinking back at her a few times. It really wasn't a big deal to him. "First of all, how did you know how to get in here without the access code?"

"It is quite simple."

"Okay," she acknowledged, "dumb question asking you how you know how to pick a lock, even an electronic one with a so-called secure fingerprint pad! Now for the big question I'm afraid to hear the answer to. Have you done this before?"

"I do believe I informed you of my past occupation. Therefore it would stand to reason I have done this numerous times," he said as if he were only admitting to something as mundane as having an inclination for a certain brand of ancient paper product.

"So you're using the talents you have from when you were a bounty hunter to gain entrance to my apartment and check up on me?" she asked, openly alarmed.

"At no time did you specify that I was not to enter your apartment without your express permission. In fact, I was told by you, repeatedly, that I was allowed to enter this abode at anytime. I did not take it to mean that I had to wait until you were present to do so since you have yourself expressed that your home may also be seen as my home."

Dana sighed as a big headache began forming behind her eyes. He was right. She had told him on more than one occasion that he was free to come over anytime he wished, that her home was his home. _The literalness of Vulcan hearing!_ "All right. I can give you that one for free. But for starters, you _knew_ I wasn't going to be home tonight and second of all, you only came here to see what I was wearing, not to see _me_!"

He seemed openly taken aback. "I object to that being characterized as the sole reason for my present behavior. I also wished to be here when you arrived home. Is that seen as wrong by you?" he asked.

She saw the trap and refused to answer his question and instead posed another of her own, "And my clothing? You're obsessing about that _again_ when I told you I would try my best to not step on your sensibilities of modesty? What, so after proving myself trustworthy to keeping my word to you now you don't trust me?"

At first he said nothing. He sat there straight faced for awhile and then, "I am sorry, Dana," tumbled from his lips. "You are correct. I did not treat you as one who has earned my respect, which you have. Am I forgiven now?"

She fell backward onto her couch and simply lay there. She hadn't expected the apology to come out that easily. She then felt his hands lifting her feet into his lap. What was he doing? She looked down. He was taking the shoes off of her feet, then he was beginning to rub one of them in deep steady strokes. The tension drained out of her body. "We're not done with this issue, mister," she said as she relaxed.

"Certainly not," he said with a very visible twinkle in his eyes.

"But for now, keep doing that," she said as she felt herself relaxing more and more by degrees as his hands rubbed at the arch and the heel of her foot.

"As you wish, _T'hy'la,_" he said.

####

Amanda knew she was in trouble when she entered their bedroom. Sarek was kneeling in meditation, but the moment she sat and looked at him directly in front of her, his eyes snapped open. "You are home," was all he said.

"Yes."

"Amanda, we will speak now about the present situation."

She sighed tiredly. Really she just wanted to go to bed since she was so tired. But she knew she was going to have to pay the piper and just sat there waiting for him to speak. She supposed she would sleep like a log afterward no matter what happened that night.

"I am disappointed in you, Amanda," he said. "That you deliberately went against my wishes and involved me in the marital dispute between Sokam and Maya has not gone unnoticed by me. Why did you do it?"

She looked down at first, a little ashamed. But she spoke the truth, "She's my friend. And I watched her for years struggling with something about herself. I never knew what that something was. I always knew she wasn't really happy, not ever. But then we came here and she met him and for the first time ever Maya smiled, really _smiled_. And he did that for her. So when I saw the two of them apart and the effect it had on her, that that smile was gone, I had to do what it took to put that smile back on her face."

He sat next to her and turned to face her. "Did you not have faith that Maya could accomplish this reconciliation with Sokam on her own?"

She shrugged. "I don't think I even thought of it that way. I saw my friend in need and I helped her the only way I knew how."

"Amanda, you saw Maya in need and induced her into a scandalous way of rectifying things. As to your track record of attempting to help your friends when you perhaps should not, you attempted to match make Demek and T'Niye but was fortunately stopped by my informing you of the impropriety of your attempting to do so. You have also promised Zurel a mate, something you do not know if you will be able to deliver in time; furthermore, you have not given him time or opportunity to do so for himself."

"Sarek, he's planning on letting himself die!" she said, outraged.

"If it is his wish-"

"No, Sarek! I don't turn my back on my friends. If Maya needs me, I'm going to do what it takes to help her. If Zurel needs me, I'll do what it takes to help him. If Dana or Mariana or Shin needs me it's all the same."

"And how many times shall I be used again and again in this process, Amanda, without my permission?"

She sat there, stunned by his question. "I didn't think you would see it this way, Sarek."

He took her hands into his own. "I do not believe that I have been purposely used for ill by you this evening or that you would do so again on purpose. I only ask, Amanda, in future, please be careful of your methods of accomplishing your goals when helping your friends."

She thought about his words for a few long seconds as the wheels in her mind turned and she thought about what he was saying. "You're right. I wasn't fair to you tonight. I used what I knew would get a reaction out of Sokam and that meant using you to get him to the right place at the right time to see things for himself." She sighed. "Well when I think of it that way I'm a little upset with _my_self now. And I am sorry. I promise I won't put you in that position again."

Sarek only wished to know, "Since you have already proceeded on the course, what was the outcome of this illogical interference?"

She couldn't help but grin widely. "Bulls-eye!" she yelled triumphantly.

He only frowned. Something was different about Amanda, that was a certainty. She had not at all been acting as herself lately.

####

Later Sokam and Maya lay in darkness, spent and sweating. She could feel his heartbeat still hammering in his side. "Was I unduly rough with you tonight, Maya?" he asked suddenly.

She detected worry in his voice. "Yes." Things had been very rough between them, violent almost. "But I liked it," she admitted.

"As promised, there is something we must…I must…" his voice faltered. _I must show you my predicament, Maya. My wife. See me, who I am._

Something within him opened and she was given access to a deeper part of his mind previously shielded from her at all times. During his Pon Farr he had not been himself so this part of him had been inaccessible. She bypassed the lighter emotions and reached the darker side of him and experienced a deep vast blackness of feeling directed at her; the deepest, darkest regard, held within him for her. The uninhibited violence of it had broken free between them that night during their lovemaking.

She realized, belatedly, it was not directed _at_ her so much as it was there _for_ her. It wanted her, to fill her, protect her, keep her safe from all things. It was not rational or logical. It simply needed her. And he was doing everything in his power to hold it back from possessing him. It was compelling him to keep her at all costs, even at the cost of the lives of others. But never her life. She must live or else this thing, this emotion that was so strong it almost contained a life of its own would force the world to pay the price.

She withdrew from contact with the deep dark form of love he held for her. She was gasping in shock, trying to mentally get her bearings.

_Do you see now, wife, why I withdrew from you? Why I supposed that I was the wrong one for you? How can I keep you safe from harm if I must also keep you safe from myself? I nearly killed you during my Pon Farr. But this is more dangerous, even, than that._

"You would rather hurt my feelings than hurt me physically by accident," she said as she felt his forehead connect with hers lightly. She looked at him in the darkness, traced her fingers along his lips. She was drowning in her love for him at that point, that love that was still unspoken even by her. "For some reason I can't explain I suspect that you are normal, that this is nothing any other Vulcan male has not found himself contending with."

"And if you are wrong?"

"I know you would never hurt me physically outside of your Time, Sokam, not even by accident."

He paused in thought. "Then you will not leave me, even now, knowing what you know about me?"

"Especially because I know about it, no, I will absolutely not leave you now."

His arms held her to him tighter. She felt his mind brush against hers. He was bowled over by her trust in him, humbled by it. "I should have communicated with you immediately, wife. I should have spoken with you instead of-"

"Sshhh," she shushed him as she put one hand over his lips.

He continued mentally, determined to get his thoughts across. _I behaved disgracefully toward you, a'duna. I closed our bond and I hurt you. I have never wished to hurt you, ever. I only selfishly saw that my control was not what it should be and did what I thought necessary to bring it back to normalcy. And I was ashamed for the harm I brought to you during my Time. When the blood fever cleared and I saw you covered in bruises, when I knew I had broken bones in your body—I found I could not look you in the face._

_ My behavior was not stellar this evening, Sokam. That dress I wore..._ She admitted out loud, "I knew it was scandalous. I knew it was piss you off and make you jealous. You're more noble than I am because you never intended to hurt me. But I wanted to hurt you for hurting me and making me cry. I'm sorry for that."

"Maya-"

"I walked out on you for days, denied you access to me at every turn, packed a bag to leave you for good tonight." She sighed tiredly.

At first he said nothing. Then, "I deserved it," he said into the darkness. "I did not take care of my mate in an appropriate way. I treated you in such a disgraceful manner that you saw fit to return to the home of he who is acting as your guardian." He paused again. "I promise I will never fail to communicate with you again, _a'duna_. Do you accept my promise?"

She found his face in the darkness, stroked her fingers over it lightly. "I accept. And I promise not to dress that way again just to make you angry and provoke you."

He pulled her face up to his and kissed her hard and urgent. "My jealousy is illogical, I am aware of that," he said rapidly between kisses. "It is the one emotion connected with you that I still cannot control," he acknowledged passionately as his lips continued devouring hers.

How was it possible for him to make her feel heat for him all over again after what they had already done? "Sokam," she said his name with a breathless fullness of emotion she didn't know she could deliver.

His mouth moved against hers slowly, open and hot, as he blew the breath of air and emotion into hers. His tongue slipped into the kiss as he filled her with all that he had. "May I have your promise, you will never leave me again?"

She felt as if she were being turned inside out and overwhelmed with his emotions pouring into her as he was trying to persuade her mentally, attempting to stamp it into her mind that she would never leave him again. His body merged with hers repeatedly and he would not allow her rest until he had her promise. The night was long. And as the day began she finally slept. She gave in, only halfway. She would never leave him again… unless she was provoked.

####

Mariana awoke to sunlight in her face. "Uhhhh," she moaned miserably. Her tongue felt like it was twice its normal size and it had that hairy feeling. Her head was pounding and even opening her eyes hurt like hell. She was still dressed she realized as she heard her door opening. She didn't want to sit up too quickly, either. Jhuleem was standing there in front of her. "Oh, no, what are you doing here?" she asked, instantly ashamed.

"I came home with you to make sure you were all right and taken care of," he said as he pressed a hypo spray to her neck.

She could feel the edges of her hangover starting to lift. She struggled into the bathroom and stripped down, showered, cleaned herself fully. She looked in the mirror. The hypo took care of the hangover, but that was it. She still looked like hell on dry toast. She pulled herself into her bathrobe and struggled back into her bedroom and got under the waiting covers Jhuleem was holding back for her.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Okay now. I still look awful, but I feel a lot better than I did."

He seemed to be holding in his words for a few seconds and then, "Mariana, you get drunk far too often," tumbled out of his mouth.

Her mouth dropped open and, "I do not!" escaped her loudly.

"You do so," he said in a level tone. He leaned forward and looked at her. "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't tell you the truth. Do you understand that?"

She sat back on her pillow, almost angry. "So your point is?"

"I'm not telling you this to get you angry or to control you or to have a fight with you, Mariana. Do you know how dangerous it is to get that intoxicated in public? Do you know how many people can take advantage of you while you're in that state? People go missing every day under those circumstances. I can't bear the thought of someone doing something to you while you're like that."

She looked down at her hands. She could see his point of view. "You have a lot of good points," she admitted.

"Why do you do it?" he asked, honestly stumped.

She shrugged. "I was never allowed to do anything growing up. Not one blessed thing. My brothers were always there breathing down my neck. So when I was of age I was at least able to drink. It was all I was allowed to do. I could do that with friends or at home, which was where I was forced to stay all of the time since my family was so worried about something happening to me." She shrugged again. "I guess I've never really lived, you know? This is my first time away from home and I just…I just want to have fun!"

"If waking up sick after every social outing is your idea of fun, Mariana, what do you need me for?" he asked angrily.

She felt afraid. "Are you going to leave me?" she asked.

"I will if you don't get the drinking under control. And not because I don't love you, but because I love you so much I can't stand by and let you do something that can hurt yourself so much. Do you understand what I mean by that?" he asked.

She nodded as she felt tears starting to form in her eyes. "Yes, I understand."

"So what are you going to do about this?" he asked.

She nodded. "I guess I should just stop then, right?"

"I didn't tell you to stop drinking. I said you should get it under control. If you think you can't drink and control it, then maybe stopping is the way to go. I don't know. I'm not you. What do you think you need to do to get this under control?"

She sighed tiredly. "I guess I could limit myself to a certain amount of drinks when I go out and space them out better. I just never really thought about it as such a bad thing to get tipsy."

"You weren't tipsy last night! You were three sheets to the wind, if I got that expression right. Do you even remember how you got home?" he asked.

She thought about that. And thought about it and thought about it. "No," she said sheepishly. "I don't remember."

"Dana and I carried you to the shuttle and then we carried you upstairs. Turan was here and helped me get you into bed."

She felt even more embarrassed. "Oh my goodness. What did I do at the restaurant?" she asked as her eyes widened.

He tried not to laugh. "You almost lost a shoe. I had to go hunt it down. Then you dropped your earring into some Tellarite's drink-"

"That was an acci-"

"—on purpose!" He then said, "And then there was the highlight of the evening. You grabbed the Betazoid Ambassador's dress jacket during a song and began twirling it over your head and yelling 'Happy New Year!' at the top of your lungs. And it's nowhere near anyone's New Year as far as I know!"

"Oh God, no!" she said as she pulled the covers up over her face.

After a short time, he pulled down the covers to look into her eyes. "So what do you say?"

She sighed. "I think, for now, I'm not going to drink for awhile. And when I start again I'm going to be very very careful."

_I wasn't satisfied with this chapter. Then I realized I wasn't going to be satisfied with this chapter no matter what I did to it. I procrastinated finishing it because it takes me one step closer to finishing this story and I'm not ready to be finished with this story, but it's time. (SIGH) One more chapter to go. - J.S._


	45. An End and A Beginning

An End…and A Beginning

Amanda got home from work and was dead tired. She was so tired, in fact, she felt as if she could sleep for hundreds of years. Zurel's eyes were full of concern as she dragged herself to the front door. "_T'Sai, _are you in need of assistance?" asked the Vulcan. It was the closest to alarmed she'd seen him come in quite sometime.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just really really tired that's all. Whew! I don't know what's come over me. I need some vitamins or…or something."

"Yes, you do appear to be extremely fatigued," he commented. "Perhaps you should take rest immediately once you are inside."

"Trust me, Zurel, no one has to tell me that twice. My body is going to _make_ me lay down as soon as I get through that door."

Sarek sensed how tired his wife was. He was slightly upset with her and himself. She had not heeded his warning that perhaps her body could not take a regular workday in the heat and thinner atmosphere of his planet. And he had not tried hard enough to have her rethink taking the position. But he knew he would have to distance himself from her fatigue. She would wish to keep her position no matter the danger to her health and he knew he needed to respect her feelings as an individual. He instead diverted his attention to the pleasing news he wanted to deliver to her.

He followed her into their bedroom and saw her lying down in their bed, clothing still on. Some part of him knew that that was not at all like Amanda. She usually enjoyed a comforting shower after working and only then would she take rest. A lot of things had been this way with her lately. Perhaps fatigue caused Terran behavior to change markedly? But he had already told himself to give her space on the work situation. "Amanda, I have a gift I wish to present to you."

She sat up tiredly and smiled at her husband. She saw he had his hands behind his back. "What's that?" she asked.

He removed the parcel from behind his back and handed it to his wife. She pulled it into her lap, opened the plain wrapping and found herself staring at what was in front of her. Her vision began to cloud over. "Sarek!" she said in an amazed tone. "How did you…" She nodded in disbelief. "'Mahatma - The Biography of Mohandas K. Ghandi; Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl; Life and Death in Shanghai; The Kama Sutra; The Complete Works of Epictetus'-" Her throat nearly closed as emotion clogged her up. "Sarek, you got the banned books back! How did you do this?"

"I am a Syrranite, Amanda, and I am still seen as the ambassador to Terra Prime. Though we are largely mistrusted by the Empire, we are seen as, in a way, incorruptible. Our logic, lack of emotion and seeming pacifism makes the Empire feel safe to hand certain items over to us for study and short-term safekeeping."

She wanted to jump up and grab him into a large hug. "I'm so happy about this. But really I wish I wasn't so tired. And I wish this nausea would go away," she said seemingly out of nowhere.

"Amanda you have been unfailingly nauseated for the past week," he said as he sat next to her.

She had a feeling he was about to start in on her job. "Sarek, I'm fine."

"No, Amanda, you are not. You seem to be quite unwell."

She sighed tiredly and not only at the way she was feeling. She didn't have the energy to deny how ill she felt anymore. Then she thought of what Maya had said the week before. "Your ward seems to think I'm pregnant."

His eyes grew wide. "We must get you to T'Niye, immediately."

"Oh, Sarek, we don't have any proof-"

"A telepath told you she thought you were pregnant, Amanda! Do you not understand the meaning-"

"She _suspects_ I am! She didn't check me out expressly. She said she didn't want to check without my permission."

"And?"

She shrugged, half ashamed. "I never gave her permission so she never really checked."

"I will call T'Niye, at once."

"Oh, Sarek, I can do that myself tomorrow. I'm just so sleepy right now!"

"Amanda, what of-"

"If you're so concerned with the baby, Sarek, you'll let the mother sleep!"

"I am so concerned with the mother of my child because I do not know the side-effects this pregnancy will have. What if the reason you are so tired is the pregnancy is having deleterious side effects on your being and perhaps something can be done to counteract them?"

Amanda's tired eyes looked up into Sarek's concerned ones. "All right, call T'Niye."

"I will have her come to you. You may sleep until then."

"Thank you!" Amanda said with honest gratitude as she lay back and he went to leave the room to call the Healer. She was asleep before her head hit the bed.

####

It was going to be a busy day. As per T'Pau's orders, Sarek had seen to hiring a permanent housekeeper and cook. They were a married couple from Bajor and they were staying in Sokam's old abode.

He watched his wife dress in her best robes. For not the first time he found his breath catch in his chest at the sight of her. She was beautiful. She was glowing. He would never say these things aloud, but she could detect them and as a result she was blushing. "I'm ready, Sarek," she said to him as he squelched an inner burst of pride. He had more than one reason, but he continually reminded himself it was not logical to feel as such.

Their friends had all come that day, and some had brought their own guests. Zurel, of course, was present along with Shin. Sokam and Maya had come, together, looking more harmonious than before. Sarek was satisfied that things had worked out between the two. He forcefully restrained the urge to tell Sokam he was watching him. He reminded himself that the two would be fine as they grew and learned together, just as he and Amanda would grow and learn together. He knew he could not accuse Amanda of interfering with Maya and then do the same with Sokam.

T'Niye herself had also graced his home with her presence to keep an eye on both his wife and his ward. He knew that when Maya was not at work or with Sokam, she was at T'Niye's side, learning. She needed the elder female that was soon to be clan mother, the same elder female that was grooming her to raise the next clan mother of T'Niye's family.

Dana had also come and brought Turan with her. The prison guard would always be welcome in his home since he had taken such an active role in securing the safety of his household. Mariana had also arrived and brought her scientist, the Cardassian by the name of Jhuleem. He had never seen Mariana so happy and carefree as it was as she stood at the scientist's side. And it was obvious he was quite taken with his Terran woman. He noticed Zurel could not look at her and knew that his wife's guard had hoped somewhere within himself that Mariana would be the woman for him. But she was not. It would not have gone well to force it, either. That was not logical. Amanda had made such a foolish promise, he knew, to find him someone in time. How was his wife going to accomplish that? But today was no the day to dwell on such thoughts.

Patricia and Soryn had come at the insistence of Amanda. The teacher whom was also married to a Vulcan met Dana and Maya with a glow in her eyes. Sarek could tell the woman was very gratified to meet more Terran females who, like herself, were attached to Vulcan males.

Demek arrived last of all and the get-together was complete.

"It is a time of announcements, this time of year," announced Sarek. "In the old days this was the time of planting, for those who lived in areas well watered enough to plant. For the areas that did not, we had the custom of sharing news of the nature to allow our guests to rejoice with us. All in the room must share positive tidings. I am the host, therefore as custom dictates I am to go last."

Demek stood, signaling his voluntary decision to go first. "I am well and in health, which at my age is not a thing to take as ones natural right."

Patricia and Soryn were standing next to Demek and found themselves on the spot. To her surprise, Soryn was speaking before she could stop him. "My wife has learned to make a proper plomeek soup without overcooking the stalks beforehand."

"Soryn!" she hissed.

His eyebrow raised. "My wife, I have complimented your culinary skills in public. You are not pleased?" She put on a strained smile. He then continued. "I have also gained a 'sense of humor' recently. Have I learned well enough, wife?"

She couldn't resist laughing. "Yes, you have."

Turan and Dana looked at one another. "Now is as good a time as any," said Dana.

Turan nodded. "Dana and I shall bond in three months time," he announced. "We shall have a formal joint Terran/Vulcan ceremony. T'Niye has agreed to officiate our bonding."

That news caused the non-Vulcans in the room to throw out spontaneous shouts of 'congratulations!' while the Vulcans simultaneously nodded once at the both of them and intoned, "I rejoice with thee."

After the well-wishing had died down, everyone looked at Sokam and Maya who had been standing next to Turan and Dana. "Um…" Maya looked at Sokam and the two seemed to communicate quickly through their bond. "My wife and I are both satisfied, she in her career of choice and I in my studies," he said. Then he looked at her and added, "We are learning to…understand one another."

T'Niye was next. "As a geneticist, it seems I shall soon have the joy of ensuring the safe delivery of many hybrid children."

All of the couples in the room, Jhuleem and Mariana included, looked at one another contemplatively and then back at T'Niye.

Shin was next. "When I came here, I had no idea of the culture I was walking into. But I'm glad I came. I've learned so much since then. Thank you for hiring me, Ambassador."

Sarek hadn't expected that sentiment to exit Shin's mouth. He thought about it and realized he did not know overly much about the Terran male. But he had been unfailingly loyal to him and his family, he had to acknowledge that.

Zurel, whom was standing next to shin, had nothing to say but, "I have met several Terrans this year that I did not know previously. And every one of them has enriched my life in different ways," he said as he looked at Maya, Dana, Shin and lastly Mariana.

Jhuleem looked slightly uncomfortable as he said, "I left Terra Prime because I didn't care for the way I was being treated. And Mariana left Terra Prime because…she was kicked out. I'm grateful for coincidences and weird timing."

The Terrans laughed at his declaration, but the girls were all looking at Zurel out of the corner of their eyes. Then Dana and Maya looked at one another and decided to get in on Amanda's wife search for the seemingly doomed Vulcan. Nothing was going to happen to him if they could help it.

Sarek and Amanda stood together. They were the hosts. Their news was to come last. He looked down at his wife and nodded at her to tell their guests the news. "We're pregnant!" spilled from her mouth with a huge grin.

They were swarmed with well-wishes and felicitations, then.

Amanda lay on the examination table as T'Niye examined the fetus once again. She had been going to the office every other day to make certain the child was developing properly. Almost every other time she went, T'Niye would have to go in and adjust the child's DNA to ensure he was not only viable, but more Vulcan than Terran. Amanda had insisted that this be the case. Sarek had not pushed for that, but he was inwardly pleased that Amanda was determined for their child to be a Vulcan.

"Do you have a name for the child?" asked T'Niye as she examined the developing child's vitals via her instruments.

Sarek was standing at her side as his emotions became caught in his chest and he found that he inexplicably could not speak. He would have to control that tendency to strong emotion concerning this child. There would be no room for error with him. The child must know what it was to be a Vulcan at all times from him since he could not know from his mother.

"His name?" asked Amanda as her face beamed with pride. "His name is 'Spock'."

The End

_I want to thank everyone who has come along for the ride. Things happened in this story that I didn't even foresee when I sat down to write this! I have to tell you now that I have finally decided that there will be no drabbles for this story._

_But some of you have made me see reason about some serious leftover issues. Even though it feels right to me to end this here (seeing the chapter numbers continuing to go up was starting to make me cringe), I have decided to commit to doing a sequel for this. I hope some of you are interested in reading it because where am I without the readers, right? - J.S.  
_


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